


You Belong to Me

by twidictedbyrd



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 16:33:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 166,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twidictedbyrd/pseuds/twidictedbyrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward and Bella have a toxic relationship. A tragic accident tears them apart. Can they find a way through their pain to be the couple they are destined to become? Entry for the "A Love Like Fire" contest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 
> 
> Disclaimer for all chapters: We do not own Twilight or its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This story will be a tough read at first. You may even hate Edward and/or Bella A LOT in the beginning. Have faith. Be ready for the many cliffhangers. There IS a HEA for Edward and Bella. They just have a VERY rough road to get there.
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight or its characters.

EPOV  
The first time I saw Bella in junior high, she sashayed into the classroom like she ruled the world.  
But I wasn't going to let shit go down that way.  
This was my world and I was the king.  
The first time I looked into those brown eyes, that bitch owned my soul.  
She was going to be my queen.  
She just didn't know it yet. And neither did the assholes that I saw looking her up and down like she was a piece of meat.  
She was hot. She was what I wanted- what I would always want. And she would be mine, no matter what the cost.  
I always get what I want. That damn Jake kid found that out the hard way.  
I pounded that fucker to almost beyond the point of recognition after her first day of school, just for sitting with MY GIRL at lunch.  
The next day, I more than made my intentions clear to all the rest of the dickwads who thought they could tap my girl, Bella.  
I can still remember the first words I ever said to her.  
"I'm Edward…Edward Cullen…and you're Bella. You're fucking mine."  
I never knew I could see the chocolate in someone's eyes literally catch fire, but she wasn't gonna take that shit from me.  
"I don't fucking think so," she told me.  
She glanced over at Jake's badly bruised face, then back at me, quirking her eyebrows.  
She saw his eye swollen shut as evidence of what I did, to show the entire world who she belonged to. And it would be something that she'd never forget.  
To this day, the russet eyed queen that she is, never wastes an opportunity to remind me of the consequences if I don't give her what she wants, when she wants it.  
Bella knows how to play her cards with me in order to get her way, and she plays them like a championship poker player.  
Five years later, here we are seniors in high school and I showed her who the boss was, in more ways than one.  
Bella and I are always going to be together.  
I own her heart, soul and especially that kick ass body.  
There's no fucking way she can deny that she's mine.  
She's not waiting for me in front of the house, as I pull up in my silver Volvo S60, to pick her up for school.  
Shit. She knows I can't be late today of all days.  
I slam on the horn with both fists, over and over, until she finally decides to move her slow ass out the door.  
BPOV  
That stupid prick! I fucking need to take this test NOW.  
No way this is really happening to me.  
No.  
Fucking.  
Way.  
I wipe the tears off with the back of my hand.  
We'd always been careful.  
The first time we fucked, (there is no other word for it), was the hottest, most intense, experience of my life.  
He used a condom, even though I was on the pill.  
The next time, things got heated so fast.  
Before I knew it, I drew his cock inside me and before he knew it, Edward was slamming into me so hard; almost making me blackout with pleasure.  
No condom.  
As soon as he finished, he shoved me away.  
"Fuck. God Dammit! Shit. I can't believe you! No condom! Are you trying to get pregnant to keep me?" Edward screamed at the top of his lungs.  
"What? I am pretty sure you were there with me when that was happening, Edward. I'm on the pill you know, nothing is going to happen you ass!"  
He drew back his hand back and punched the wall beside my head leaving a huge hole.  
I was totally shocked.  
I jumped from the bed and pulled his t-shirt over my head.  
I threw the lamp from my side table and it shattered as it hit the wall above his head.  
"Don't. Ever. Act. Out. In. Anger. Around. Me. Again." I gritted my teeth as I spat the words at him like venom.  
He threw the lamp to the floor, and grabbed at his head.  
It was bleeding.  
Good. Maybe he'll have a scar to remind him to keep his damn hands to himself and control his fucking anger around me.  
"Jesus, Bella. I'm bleeding."  
He got up from the bed and came to stand in front of me.  
He reached towards me and I pulled away.  
"Good." I told him.  
"Bella, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. I wasn't thinking. I love you. You know I'd never hurt you."  
He stepped closer to me and ran his hands through his bronze sex hair (there's really no other word for it and I loved to run my hands through it every opportunity I got).  
Those sinful green eyes, full of what looked like sorrow, lured me in like they always do.  
Like magnets, we are always drawn together even in anger.  
His hands reached out and he gently stroked my cheek where he'd hit me.  
Those eyes, that touch, and my whole body was on fire, again.  
"I just… damn, we're so young. You're mine. You belong to me, only you. I don't want anyone else to EVER take you from me. I'm sorry I freaked."  
Before I knew it, "no condom" action was happening again.  
Sex was just so much better without a condom, for both of us. So we agreed not to use them anymore.  
I took those damn pills religiously at the exact same time everyday like clockwork!  
I wasn't going to be like my mom and get knocked up in high school and have to get married.  
I saw how that story ended and it wasn't happily ever after.  
Since the divorce when I was a year old, my mom Renee and my dad Charlie didn't even talk to each other anymore unless it was about me.  
It never failed that every conversation ended in a shouting match; even if it was to decide the color of my birthday cake.  
I looked at the box.  
Five more minutes.  
That's all I needed and I would know if this was a nightmare or just a dream.  
Alice. I know Alice will help.  
He honked the horn again and again.  
I put the box under my bed, grabbed my backpack and camera bag and headed out to Edward.  
EPOV  
As she finally walked out of the house, I rolled my eyes. She jerked open the car door and threw her bags in the backseat. I sped away from her house.  
"You know, I've got neighbors. No need to wake up the damn neighborhood," she snapped at me.  
"What-fucking-ever! Thanks for fucking gracing me with your presence this morning," I said sarcastically.  
"You know that I can't be late today. We've got a team meeting before school for tonight's state championship football game."  
"Oh I forgot the world totally revolves around you and fuck anyone else, right?"  
"What the hell is your problem?" I screamed at her.  
"Nothing, Edward. Absolutely, nothing that you would give a shit about. Alice and I have yearbook deadline early next week and we need to include coverage for tonight's game," she rushed out.  
"It's a lot of planning and since she's the editor, I need to know what pictures she needs me to take tonight."  
"Oh, baby, there is only one person you need pictures of tonight and that's me," I said. "I'm the fucking star, the quarterback."  
As I pulled into the school parking lot, I parked next to my sister Alice's yellow Porsche.  
I leaned into Bella, my breath spread across her face and she shivered.  
I grabbed her face so she was looking at me.  
"God, I love how your body shows me that you belong to me." I kissed her hard as she melted into me.  
"If I had the time, I would take you right here in front of everybody," I rasped.  
She was breathing heavily, trying to compose her traitorous body - the body that is really mine.  
I opened my door, leaned across and quickly kissed her again.  
"I've got to go baby. The team is waiting. See you soon."  
I winked at her and headed into the building.  
BPOV  
I sagged in the seat of Edward's Volvo after he left.  
It was insane the pull he had on me and my body.  
It's like I wasn't even my own person when he's around.  
My body always gave him exactly what he wanted, even if it wasn't what I wanted.  
God, I so didn't want that stick to say yes.  
After I was as composed as I could be, I grabbed my bags and trudged into the school to the yearbook room.  
Alice was slaving away on the computer as I entered the classroom.  
"Bella!" She yelled animatedly as she ran toward me and hugged me.  
"I'm so glad you're here! We have so much planning to do. This state game coverage has to be perfect, absolutely perfect. I know with your photography skills you're going to get some outstanding pictures tonight. I especially can't wait to see the pictures of Edward."  
"Slow down. Breathe, Alice. We have plenty of time."  
After Edward and I started dating, I quickly fell in love with not only Edward, but his family. His sister Alice became my very best friend and the sister I had always wanted and never had.  
I sat down in the chair, dragging the computer mouse across the screen, while my thoughts strayed to the box under my bed.  
"Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes, as she gently touched me on my arm and sat down next to me.  
"Alice, it's Edward. I…." I hesitated and looked around the room.  
There was no one else here.  
I knew that she would keep my secret from Edward until I was ready to tell him - if there was even anything to tell him.  
I looked around one more time towards the classroom door, as the hair began to stand up on the back of my neck. But there was no one there.  
I was just being paranoid.  
"Alice, I'm late," I murmured.  
"No. Bella, you were early today, just like I asked."  
"Alice, not that kind of late," I whispered. "I think I may be pregnant."  
EPOV  
Damn coach. He called us in to school an hour early to tell us to kick ass tonight.  
Like that wasn't going to happen.  
There was still enough time before school started. I could take Bella into the woods behind the school for a quick fuck.  
I needed to work off some of this energy that was streaming through my veins, and my girl's pussy was the best place to do that.  
I knew my sister would have her working away on the computer the second that she walked through the door.  
Bella wouldn't mind if I gave her a little break that would definitely relax her and help her deal with my sister's deadline demands.  
As I neared the room, I heard her say my name.  
I felt myself getting hard. Damn, I needed Bella and I needed her now.  
I waited outside the door to try to calm myself. My sister didn't need to see my cock at full attention.  
Bella's voice got softer.  
I was so in tune with her, that I could hear her like she was standing next to me.  
The next words I heard had me bunching my hands into fists.  
I could hear my heart pounding rapidly in my ears like a drum.  
"Alice, not that kind of late. I think I may be pregnant."  
That.  
Fucking.  
Bitch.  
I'll show her.  
Oh, I'll show her good.  
I went outside and headed to the football field where the cheerleaders are practicing. I am going to get my "game" on tonight in more ways than one.  
BPOV  
"Oh, Bella." Alice hugged me gently to her.  
"Have you taken a test yet? How did Edward take the news?"  
"I was going to this morning, but I totally forgot about Edward's team meeting. I've got a test under my bed. Alice, I can't tell Edward yet. Please, please, please promise me you won't say anything."  
"But Bella…"  
"He will freak the fuck out, Alice. I can't, I won't say anything until I know if there is even anything to bother telling him. Please…."  
"If you're sure, I won't say a word." She hugged me again.  
I could see fear and sympathy in her eyes.  
I knew that Edward's eyes would be telling a different story if he knew.  
"I'm sure, Alice."  
"I'm here for you no matter what, Bella. I consider you my sister. We will get through this, together."  
"I know."  
"OK. We can't do anything now. You are still planning on riding to the game with me tonight, right? You're truck would turn that hour long trip into a week and a half trip," she said trying to lighten up the mood.  
I rolled my eyes at her. "Alice, I know that you just want to be your speed demon self in the Porsche."  
"I'll take you home right after school. You can take the test then, since Charlie won't be home and Edward will be on the bus with the team. Can you wait until then?"  
"Yes, Alice. I think I can. Enough about me, what do you need from me today?"  
She began to tell me all the things we needed to do, and about the pictures I needed to take.  
I nodded my head trying to pay attention.  
My nerves were humming.  
I needed a distraction.  
I needed to calm down.  
I needed Edward.  
My nerves continued to drive me crazy.  
Where was Edward? He wasn't in class.  
I guess the coach was taking this game seriously.  
He probably had Edward watching hour after hour of video footage of their competition.  
No way he could know what was going on and be avoiding me. Alice didn't tell him. I didn't tell him.  
I needed to relax. I'm sure I'd see him at lunch.  
As I entered the cafeteria with Alice, there was no sign of Edward. We went to the table and sat down.  
"Alice, have you seen E? I haven't seen him since before school this morning."  
"No, Bells. With the big game today, there is no telling what my crazy brother is up to. We both know how he loves to be the center of attention and he is probably just waiting to make his grand entrance."  
"What's wrong, Bella? Can't you keep Edward?" A voice sneered from behind me.  
Tanya. Fucking Queen Bee Head Cheerleader with her blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and killer figure. She loves to flaunt her huge silicone tits (yes, we have proof they are silicone, before and after yearbook photos) in the face of any man under the age of 50.  
"Shut the hell up, you skank whore," Alice said to her in an almost menacing voice before I could even find mine.  
"Oh, please. Just shut your virgin, nerd ass mouth up!" Tanya shrieked at Alice, who took the muffin from her tray and threw it in Tanya's face.  
I laughed. Hard.  
Tanya literally stuck her nose up (also surgically enhanced) and sauntered away.  
"Thanks, Alice. I just don't have it in me to fight with that slut today."  
"Don't worry about it, Bella. You know I've always got your back."  
She smiled and grabbed my hand and gently squeezed, trying to reassure me.  
Unfortunately, her touch wasn't the one that my body was craving.  
The rest of the day passed in a total blur and still no Edward.  
Now I was really starting to worry.  
I NEEDED Edward.  
After the last bell, I trudged out to the parking lot to wait for Alice.  
I kept anxiously glancing around for Edward as Alice finally made her way to her car.  
"Bella, are you ready to find out?"  
I swear that I almost jumped out of my skin when she spoke those words. "Let's do this."  
We waited together, sitting on my bed holding hands. Alice's silence is what I needed at that moment.  
Those five minutes felt like it lasted an eternity.  
"It's time," I told Alice as I glimpsed at the clock.  
I held my breath on the short walk to the bathroom. What I saw caused what breath I'd been holding in to rush out of my body.  
Two words made all the weight I'd been feeling for days lift from my shoulders.  
Not pregnant.  
Despite the results, as Alice and I were on the way to the game, something felt off, way off.  
Edward.  
I don't think we've ever gone this long without talking to each other since we started dating.  
I knew that he had a lot riding on tonight's game. College scouts would be watching him tonight.  
His, no, our future was on the line tonight. Of that, I had no doubt.  
Alice had pulled some strings and gotten me a sideline pass, so I could be closer to the action to take photos.  
There wasn't an empty seat on either side of the stands. I kept wishing that I could be filled with the excitement that I felt radiating throughout the stadium.  
The announcer began and I felt the butterflies turn to elephants in my stomach, as the Forks team ran through the banner onto the field, with the band playing the school fight song and the fans standing on their feet cheering and screaming.  
Through the lens of the camera I finally saw him for the first time since he dropped me off at school this morning.  
I could never get enough of Edward's body and in that football uniform, he was beyond beautiful.  
I imagined myself running my hands over those sculpted abs and that finely toned ass.  
I stopped myself and refocused my attention on my job for tonight, taking pictures.  
I lost myself in the world I saw through the lens.  
I watched the offensive lineman, Edward's twin Emmett, knock player after player flat on their asses as he protected Edward.  
I also listened to the crowd get louder and louder, as the score got higher and higher, and the time on the clock got lower and lower.  
Suddenly, the crowd began to rush the field as Forks won the game in a landslide victory.  
I was filled with such pride as I saw Edward raise the trophy above his head. I snapped shot after shot of his elated face and kept waiting for some kind of signal from him.  
I cringed as I saw that red-headed whore throw her arms around him and suddenly I felt Edward's eyes on me.  
He was smirking at me and winked.  
I watched as he hugged her back and whispered something in her ear.  
Tanya giggled.  
I was almost shaking as I began to fill with fury.  
I couldn't take it anymore.  
I needed to get away and I needed to find Alice.  
The crowd seemed to be closing in on me.  
I don't know how long I stayed looking for her, but I finally began to head to the parking lot, still taking pictures of the fans celebrating.  
I watched as the team, and unfortunately the cheerleaders, load onto the bus.  
I picked up the camera from around my neck and zoomed in on the inside of the bus.  
I continued clicking the button until the image in front of me slowed the beat of my heart.  
I watched as red hair filled the back window seat with a huge smile on her face.  
I saw my future, what I thought was my future, sitting beside her.  
Those jade eyes were filled with lust….for her.  
I watched as his huge hands grasped her head and pulled her to him for a passionate kiss.  
She threw her arms around him and I could feel the edges of my world blur around me.  
As the bus began to pull out, I saw Edward guide Tanya's head down into his lap.  
My heart stopped.  
My knees gave out.  
I crumbled to the ground as I saw the look of ecstasy appear on Edward's face.  
As darkness closed around me, I thought I heard someone scream my name.  
My vision was hazy as I came to and I heard Alice's frantically worried voice.  
"Bella, Bella, what happened? Are you ok? Do you need a doctor? What can I do?"  
She was holding my hand and had my head propped up on her jacket.  
I struggled to find my voice as I began to sit up.  
"Edward," I said in an empty voice. "Edward and Tanya."  
I didn't really remember the drive home or how I got into my bedroom.  
My always dependable Alice helped me get undressed and got me into bed. At least there was one Cullen I could count on.  
"Bella, where's Charlie?"  
"Umm…what?"  
"Charlie, your dad, is he going to be home?"  
"He's not going to be here tonight," I said blankly. "He's working the night shift because of the game."  
"Bella, you are really scaring me here. You're not crying or anything. Please, please tell me what I can do to help you."  
"I think I just need to be alone." I couldn't even look Alice in the eyes. "Please. I need to think - really think about everything."  
"How about I make you a deal, Bella? I'm going home for a bit to make an appearance at the party, that I have no doubt that certain relatives of mine are probably having as we speak. I will get some things and be back in an hour to spend the night."  
"Alice….."  
"Bella, you're my best friend. I love you. I don't want to leave you alone. I know that you're hurting and I want to be here for you, even though my asshole brother is the reason for your unhappiness."  
I hesitated, but I knew there was absolutely no stopping Alice when she was on a mission.  
"Fine, Alice. You can come back and stay with me. Thanks."  
I tried to put some heart-felt feeling in my voice as I added, "I love you, too. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for."  
I used what strength I had left in me to hug Alice.  
"See you soon, Bells." She gently shut my bedroom door as she left.  
As I lay in my bed, the image of Tanya and Edward kept playing over and over in my mind.  
I loved him more than my own life.  
He was mine, just as much as I was his.  
Without him, who am I?  
Do I even exist without Edward?  
Could I exist without Edward?  
I couldn't cry.  
There were no tears for me to shed.  
I was numb.  
Was I even alive anymore?  
When I felt my heart stop, had it stopped for good?  
I dug my fingernails into my arms. I felt no pain, but there was some blood.  
Can you bleed if you're dead?  
He was gone, for good.  
I could feel hollowness in my chest where my heart had once been.  
It was like someone had reached in and ripped out my heart and I was left with utter emptiness.  
Edward was my heart.  
He had taken it with him as he had his little escapade with Tanya.  
I had loved him with everything I had and I thought he loved me too.  
I used my fingers again to dig into my chest to try to see if I could find the love-filled heart that beat for Edward, always for Edward.  
All that happened was a trickle of blood from the tracks of my nails.  
Still, I could feel no pain.  
He was gone.  
I was also gone.  
I was just a hollowed out shell of a person without him.  
Shells can't live unless they are filled with a life.  
Edward had stolen that from me tonight.  
I needed to feel something, anything. How can I feel again?  
I got up from my bed and went to Charlie's closet. I knew where he kept his extra guns in a locked combination box.  
As I grabbed the box, I turned the dials, over and over.  
Dammit! I couldn't remember the combination.  
I threw the box back into the top of Charlie's closet and collapsed on his bed.  
"He's gone. I'm gone." I kept repeating to myself over and over.  
The bathroom.  
I looked in the medicine cabinet. No pills, only aspirin.  
I felt no pain, so aspirin wouldn't work at all.  
At the back of the cabinet I saw it, the razor blade. It was new. That meant it was sharp. Sharp meant I could feel, right?  
I took the blade back to my room and sat on the bed - the same bed that I had spent so many hours in with Edward - talking, sharing our secrets, fighting, fucking and making love.  
He's gone. I'm gone.  
I put the blade to my wrist.  
I begin to see blood trickle from it. I get ready to apply even more pressure.  
Where was the pain?  
"Bella, no!" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs.  
EPOV  
We won. I had to have my head in the game.  
No time to worry about Bella and her bullshit.  
Scouts were out tonight, and Emmett and I want to get picked up by The University of Southern California. USC has the best football program in the nation.  
I saw Bella, as I hugged Tanya. I made it a point to wink at her ass, too. I whispered in Tanya's ear to sit next to me on the bus. Tanya was more than ready to be a player in the next game I had planned for tonight.  
As we all took our seats, I sat at the very back, waiting for Tanya.  
Everyone else was at the front of the bus, holding the trophy, talking with Coach, patting each other's backs and shit.  
"Congrats, E! Great game." She said, sitting down next to me.  
"Thanks, Tanya." And I leaned over, and fucking kissed her.  
She let out this sexy-ass moan, and I guided her head down towards my dick.  
Tanya smiled, as she tugged on the drawstring of my uniform pants.  
I lay my head back, as she pulls out my hard cock and licks the tip. "Fuck, that feels good."  
I held her pony tail, as she took my whole length into her mouth. She sucked, licked, stroked and grazed her teeth along my shaft.  
I felt my balls contract and said, "Ohhh fuck, Bella. I'm gonna cum..."  
I groaned and came in my own hand, because Tanya snapped her head up and said, "What the hell did you just say?"  
I reach over, grab her sweater, and clean myself up, smiling.  
"Oh, come on Tanya. I'm sorry." I said, trying to hide my laugh.  
"Screw you, Edward."  
And with that, Tanya went to sit with the other cheerleaders near the front of the bus.  
I get to my house and head upstairs to shower and change for the party.  
Bella was supposed to meet me at my house with Alice, because my sister has to dress her.  
Don't get me wrong, Bella is hot as fuck. But she doesn't care for shit like that, and Alice always has to go overboard for special occasions.  
I got dressed, and made my way downstairs. I look around the room, and I see Alice talking to my dad. They're walking out of his office, and he has his medical bag in his hand.  
"She wasn't out for long, dad." I heard Alice tell him.  
"Did she hit her head when she fell?" Dad asked Ally.  
"Al. Where's B? What's going on?"  
Alice walks right up to me and clocks me right on my left cheek.  
"You mother fucking asshole! How could you do that to her?"  
I stood there stunned. I have no idea what she's talking about.  
"Bella saw you on the bus with Tanya! She was looking through her camera lens, you stupid fuck!"  
"It's not even that big of a deal, Alice. I was pissed at her. I heard her talking to you before school this morning about …" I shrugged my shoulders.  
SMACK.  
Right across my face again. She was strong for a little pixie.  
"OW! FUCK!"  
Alice NEVER gets this mad. Her face is beet red.  
"You are such an insensitive asshole! If you were a REAL man, you would have manned up and helped Bella! She was scared and needed you!"  
The whole room was quiet. The only voice I heard was Jasper's, stifling his chuckle. Dick.  
She got right up in my face and with a fury I didn't know she had, and whispered in my ear.  
"She's not even pregnant! If you had been with her, you would have known that! But no, you're a selfish prick, thinking of no one else but yourself!"  
My sister turned around and walked out the door with my dad.  
Jasper came up and puts his hand on my shoulder.  
"Don't hit me, E, but fuck, your sis it HOT! I'm going to marry her one day."  
Emmett came up and smacked Jasper on the back of his head. "Ouch! That hurt, you giant fucking monkey man!"  
"Jaz, last time I checked she was my sister too."  
He tapped me on the arm. "What the fuck, E? Tanya? Jesus Edward, Bella has been nothing but good to you. Where in the hell was your head?"  
"Em, man, Bella is it for me. You know she's mine, just like she should be. She belongs to me. Tanya is no big fucking deal. It's not like I slept with her."  
Em and Jaz both looked at each other, then me. "Come on guys, seriously, it's no big fucking deal. It's time to party. Em, US-fucking-C man, it's ours!"  
Emmett's faced filled with his huge shit-eating grin. "You're right. Let's party."  
Shit. Were we having an earthquake?  
As I opened my eyes the next morning, the world wouldn't stop spinning. I hadn't had a fucking hangover like that ever.  
But man, we had to party. State champs and likely full rides to USC for me and Em.  
As I got up and headed to the shower, I thought about Bella. Jesus, just saying her name made me rock hard.  
While I washed the hangover stench off of me, I had to take care of business.  
I firmly grasped my cock, picturing Bella's small hands stroking me from the base of my shaft, to the tip.  
Her hooded hot chocolate eyes gaze up at me.  
I could see her licking her lips, getting ready to surround my cock with their moist heat.  
She licks the head, takes me into her mouth and hums with pleasure. She sucks me like her favorite lollipop and her hands gently squeeze my balls and my ass at the same time.  
Jesus, my body shook as I came, hard.  
Bella, I fucking needed to be in her and fucking soon.  
I had to see her this morning to see if she is still pissed.  
She is the ONLY one who belongs to me, and I need to set her shit straight on that.  
Tanya was nothing. I mean, I'm a guy. A guy's gonna do what a guy's gonna do. (Whenever, wherever, however and most definitely whomever).  
It's not like it was the first time that I let someone else suck my dick since I've been with Bella. But Bella is the only one I've ever fucked without a condom on. I lost my damn virginity so fucking early, that I'd been getting tons of action for a few years before I'd ever even met Bella.  
When she's out of town without me or I'm out of town without her, I play. But I make sure the girls know the deal. I love Bella. She's the only one I will ever love, but fucking doesn't always have to do with love. Sometimes I've just got to get off and my dearest friend "Rosie Palm" was not always the option my body needed.  
I decided to stop by the store. I picked up a box of Bella's favorite orange flavored chocolate (she loves citrus, especially lemons), and a bouquet of lilies.  
As I pulled up to Bella's, I noticed Alice's car was still there, but there was no sign of Charlie. I gathered up the candy and flowers and knocked on Bella's door.  
BPOV  
"Bella, no!"  
Alice screamed at the top of her lungs. She ran to me, taking the razor blade from my hands and throwing it across the room.  
"What the hell, Bella? What are you doing?"  
Alice started to cry and grabbed me around the waist, burying her head against my shoulder.  
I notice another set of hands as they grab my injured wrist. It's Carlisle.  
"Bella, honey, what have you done? Let me see," he says in a gentle voice. I don't understand because I'm numb. There is no feeling throughout my body at all.  
"Carlisle," I whisper. "I don't hurt. I can't feel anything at all."  
"It's barely a scratch, Alice. Breathe," he says trying to calm her.  
They don't understand, not at all.  
I'm nothing.  
There's nothing here to hurt.  
"Are you hurt anywhere else, Bella?" he murmurs as he cleans and puts a small bandage on my wrist.  
"I told you. I don't feel, anywhere," I mumble.  
He grabbed my other arm and noticed the scratches. He cleaned those up as well, as Alice starts to calm down. I could hear her sniffling in my ear.  
"Alice, she's going to be fine. Her injuries are merely scratches."  
He kneeled down in front of me and took both of my hands in his. His eyes filled with love and concern.  
"Bella, I need you to talk to me. You know we all love you. Why did you do this?"  
I really didn't grasp what he was saying to me. "I'm not here anymore. He's gone. I'm gone. He's gone. I'm gone."  
I feel Alice grab a hold of me tighter, as I take my hands from Carlisle and wrap my arms around myself and I begin to rock.  
I keep whispering over and over. "He's gone. I'm gone."  
"Jesus, dad, what the hell has E done to her?"  
"Alice, I think she's in shock."  
"Bella, Bella, please, please stop this. I'm here. I promise it's all going to be okay. Dad, should we try to find Charlie?"  
"I don't know, Alice. I just don't know." Carlisle rubs his hands across his face and through his hair, messing it up. Like father like son.  
Alice put her hands on my face and forces my head in her direction.  
"Bella, you are a strong, independent woman. You don't need a man to exist. You are an incredible, loving person and my brother is a complete jackass. You can get through this. I'm not leaving you Bella. You are here and I'm not leaving your side, not until you order me away. You are here, do you hear me?" she screamed at me.  
"He's gone…." I knew when I closed my eyes that I was going to dream about Edward Cullen.  
I woke up the next morning wrapped up in Alice's arms, my head on her lap.  
She was sitting up in the bed looking down at me with worry-filled eyes.  
God, I had the worse nightmare ever last night, I had screamed in my sleep or something.  
What could have caused Alice to have eyes filled with what almost looked like fear?  
I notice the bandage on my wrist. It wasn't a dream.  
"Oh God no! Edward," I cried. I finally cried.  
"Bella, please, it's okay. I'm here." Alice and I wrapped our arms around each other as I wept.  
"Oh, Alice, how could he do that to me, with that bitch Tanya?"  
Alice rocked me and rubbed her hands gently across my back.  
"Shh, Bella. You're going to be okay. I promise."  
"I just don't…" I shook my head trying to clear my mind and erase the picture of Edward and Tanya that had burned itself into my brain.  
EPOV  
I got to the front door of Bella's house, and I knocked. No answer.  
B and Ally were probably still asleep. I got the key from under the mat, and unlocked the door.  
I made my way up to Bella's room and she was laying in Alice's lap.  
"Bella?" Alice gives me the evilest look I've ever seen.  
"What the fuck are you doing here Edward?"  
"I came to talk to my girlfriend Al. Go home."  
"Listen you mother..." Bella cuts off Alice before she can finish.  
"Alice, Edward and I need to talk. Can you please leave us?"  
"Bella, I don't think..."  
"It's okay, Alice. I'll be okay," Bella says.  
What the fuck? Alice acted like she couldn't leave me alone with my own girlfriend.  
"Fine. I'll go home and shower, and be back in a few hours with something for you to eat."  
"Thank you Alice. Love you," and Bella and Alice hugged.  
Bella was sitting on the edge of her bed, and I walked over and sat down in front of her.  
"I'm sorry baby. I brought you flowers and chocolate."  
Bella took them out of my hands and threw them across the room.  
"That stuff means nothing to me, Edward. How could you do that to me? To us? And with that skank ass whore?"  
I sighed and mumbled, "I'm sorry, B. I just freaked out when I heard you talking to my sister yesterday before school."  
Bella rolled her eyes at me and said, "And you didn't think to come and talk to me about it? Why do you keep thinking I'm trying to trap you? You know how my mom and dad turned out. I would NEVER do that to you. I know how much you want to play pro-ball, and a baby would ruin that for you."  
"I know that, babe. I just panicked. I know you love me, and want what is best for our future too."  
Bella stood up and started walking out of her room.  
Under her breath, she said, "I don't even know if you are a part of my future anymore, Edward."  
And she was gone.  
"What the fuck does that mean Bella?" I yelled making my way down the stairs after her, two steps at a time.  
"We can't keep doing this Edward. All we do is argue and fight. I thought I lost you last night. I can't keep holding my breath when it comes to where you're concerned."  
"Don't be fucking stupid, B. I love you. Let me show you."  
BPOV  
"Stupid! I'm the one who is fucking stupid? I don't think so! You. Stupid. Worthless. Mother. Fucker!"  
I shoved him as we neared the bottom of the stairs, and he lost his balance and falls down.  
I walked into the kitchen. I needed to get away from Edward and his bullshit, even if it was only for a minute.  
I walked up to the cabinet to get a glass for some water and Edward grabbed me by the arm, spinning me around forcing me against the counter.  
The glass fell to the floor and broke into pieces.  
"Bella." I could hear his teeth grinding. He was a moron if he thought he could scare me. "You. Belong. To. Me."  
"I belong to no one but myself, Edward!" I spat back at him.  
I pounded him in the chest, trying to break free of his hold on me, not just the physical hold, but the emotional one, as well.  
He pushed closer to me, as his hold on me tightened.  
"Listen to what your body is telling you, B," he said as his voice changed to one filled with not only anger, but with lust as well.  
I felt his erection as he pushed his lower body into me again and I shivered.  
"Bella, you belong to me. You know it and I know it."  
He reached up under my boxers and impaled me with his fingers. He pushed hard into me, as his fingers curled up to hit my g-spot.  
I gasped.  
He smirked and removed his fingers.  
I groan.  
"Edward…" He pulled me tighter against him, so close I'm not sure where he ended and I began.  
"Look at this." He forced me to look at his glistening fingers that had just been inside me. "So wet for me, Bella. FOR ME!"  
"My body may be betraying me Edward, because you know how to play it like a piano, but you lost my heart yesterday while you let that sorry excuse for a boob job suck on this dick."  
I reached my hands down between us and squeezed his cock with all the strength I had.  
He hissed and grabbed my hand, as I reached in and squeezed it in his pants. I continued to squeeze him, hard. Harder.  
"Fuck, Bella." He slammed his mouth into mine. I bit his tongue and he pushed it into my mouth. "That's fucking it."  
He held my head with both of his hands and kissed me again.  
I could taste the blood in his mouth. My mind is telling me to find a way out of this - to find my way away from Edward. But my body began to succumb to him.  
He reached down and ripped my boxers and underwear from my body and he pierced me with three fingers.  
"Jesus, Edward." I moaned as he unzipped his pants and shoved them aside.  
He was everywhere... kissing my neck, my face, my mouth, my stomach, never letting me go.  
His grip was so tight. I knew that I'd have bruises all over.  
He picked me up and carried me to the kitchen table, kicking the barstool out of the way.  
He shoved everything from the table to the floor.  
I heard even more glass breaking, including a jar of pickles that Charlie hadn't put away yesterday.  
He threw me on the table, hard, causing me to hit my back.  
I hit it so hard, I gasped for breath.  
I tried to look up and he slammed my head into the table and pulled me to the very edge. His hands grabbed me by the ankles and threw my legs are over his shoulders.  
His cock penetrated me so hard, so deep, that I think I may be ripping in half. There was pleasure and pain.  
He continued to pound in me with all his strength, harder, harder. His fingers dug into my hips as he went deeper than I ever thought possible.  
He picked up the pace, working my body into a frenzy. His thumb began to circle my clit, applying just the right amount of pressure.  
I gasped, as I came hard all around him.  
"That's right, B. Let it go." And I know I'm not finished. Edward continued rubbing my clit in circles, as he angled me so his cock is even deeper; hitting pleasure zones I didn't even know existed.  
With one final, animalistic thrust, and a guttural moan, our bodies shook, sending us into an oblivion together, in a climax more intense than we'd ever shared.  
EPOV  
"So do you forgive me, B?" I say as I'm getting dressed.  
"No, Edward. What you did with Tanya is unforgivable. You betrayed my trust in you. Obviously I'm not enough for you."  
"I think what we just did on your fucking kitchen table says otherwise. I told you I was sorry Bella!" I wasn't gonna kiss her ass and beg. Fuck that.  
"Fine. You want it to be over? It's done. This is the last time you'll ever see me. It will be like I never existed."  
BPOV  
"You'd leave me... just like that? As if we never meant anything to each other?" I choked back a tear.  
"What do you want me to stay, Bella? I asked you to forgive me! I'm not gonna beg," Edward said.  
"Please... I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. Please? Please, Edward!" I grasped at his hands, as he headed towards the door.  
"You... you broke my heart. How am I supposed to get over that?" I sobbed.  
"I don't know, Bella. You either do, or you don't. I can't make up your mind for you."  
He turned, and walked out the door.  
And just like that, my reason for living is gone...  
Edward and I have been fighting for two weeks. He didn't get it. He cheated on me. We broke up right after championship game weekend.  
I haven't seen Edward since Tyler asked me out to the movies a few days after the break-up.  
Edward sat in his car the entire time I watched the film. I saw him when I walked out of the theater.  
I grabbed my slushy drink, and slammed it onto his windshield.  
Fuck him, if he thinks he has a say in what I do.  
I didn't look back, as he started screaming, "YOU BETTER REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK YOU BELONG TO, BELLA!"  
FUCK. THAT. I belong to no man.  
My dad went fishing with Harry and Billy, so I was home alone. I threw in a load of laundry, and jumped into the shower.  
I looked down, and inspected my legs. I really needed to shave. I didn't even remember the last time I needed to.  
Suddenly someone was standing behind me, with their hands over my breasts. I jumped! It's Edward!  
He smiled this devilish smile, and told me to turn around.  
He reached for the body wash and loofah, and rubbed it all over me; paying extra attention to my hardening nipples, slowly circling each one. Then, he washes my hair - lathering and rinsing it for me.  
I haven't said one word to him, this whole time.  
He whispered in my ear, "Can I have you?"  
A moan came out, and I nodded. Edward turned me around, and kissed my ear, my cheek, my neck.  
He slowly made his way down my body and touched my entry. I'm already wet and ready for him.  
He groaned and mumbled, "Fuck." Edward wrapped one of my legs around his waist, and entered me slowly.  
Edward always knew exactly what to do. He started a beautiful rhythm. In and out. In and out. I held the wall with one hand, and his shoulder with the other.  
Edward whispered how sorry he was in my ear. And just like that, all is forgotten.  
I felt my body start to tremble, as he circled my clit, and I held on for dear life, as I rode out my orgasm.  
Edward came not long after I did, grunting, "I fucking love you, Bella. I love you."  
We collapsed to the bottom of the tub, and Edward pulled out of me, as we sat and caught our breaths.  
He turned the water off and grabbed two towels. Wrapped one around me, one around his waist, and walked us toward the bed.  
Edward then started to dry me off. He even dried and brushed my hair.  
We didn't bother dressing, as we climbed into bed and he wrapped his arms around me, and the sound of his breathing lulled me to sleep.  
Just as I neared the state of unconsciousness, I thought to myself, "I love it when Edward is attentive towards me. This is the man that I love."  
But nothing lasts forever... And I'm out. I'm finally done with him. It's over.  
At school the next day, I spent my lunch hour pounding away at the computer working on yearbook deadline.  
Being in the cafeteria was just too awkward. I could feel Edward's presence everywhere I looked.  
I was so engrossed in my work I didn't notice when someone walked into the room. I heard someone clear their throat and I jumped out of my seat and screamed.  
"Bella, I'm sorry. I thought you heard me."  
It was Mike, Mike Newton. He was on the football team. He was the second string quarterback - the All-American boy with blonde hair and sea blue eyes.  
Even though he was on the football team, he was NOT friends with Edward.  
Everyone knew he hated the fact that Edward was the one who was always in the spotlight.  
Newton wanted that spotlight and he wanted it bad.  
"It's okay, Mike. I was just in the zone." I got up out of my chair and looked at him as I leaned against the computer desk.  
"Yes, well, how's the yearbook coming?"  
He was nervous about something and it made him look even more adorable. He shoved his hands into his letterman jacket.  
"It's going great, Mike. Thanks. I think it's going to be the best yearbook that Ally and I have put together yet."  
I grinned at him and he grinned back.  
"That's good, really good. Ummm, Bella, I was wondering," his voice trailed off and he looked down.  
"What, Mike, is everything okay?" I walked toward him and gently placed my hand on his arm. He looked up at me, smiling even bigger and he placed his other hand on mine.  
"I was wondering if you would, well, would you like to go out with me?"  
I needed a distraction from Edward and all of his bullshit and this might just be the way to do it.  
Edward and I are done. Finished. It's time for me to do something for myself for once.  
Mike was handsome. He was sweet.  
His fingers stroked my hand and I actually felt something that I thought I couldn't feel for anyone but Edward.  
"Sure, Mike. I'd love to go out with you."  
His face lit up with excitement.  
"Great, that's great, Bella. When, uh, when would you like to go out?"  
"I don't have any plans at all, other than being Alice's yearbook slave." I laughed and he laughed with me.  
It almost felt strange to have this kind of camaraderie with a man. It was comfortable, easy - maybe even too easy.  
"How about tonight? We could do dinner and a movie in Port Angeles."  
"Sounds good, Mike."  
He gently pushed my hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek, his thumb gently stroking it.  
I wondered to myself how those fingers would feel stroking my body somewhere else.  
I remembered how Edward's fingers stroked my body and had to clear my head.  
I put my hand on his cheek and said in my most seductive voice, "How about you pick me up at six?"  
I ran my hand down his neck, his chest, to the waistband of his pants. He swallowed thickly.  
"Yes, six o'clock. I can't wait, Bella."  
He rubbed his thumbs across my lips and I lean in and suddenly my inner-seductress is cock blocked by my best friend.  
"Bella, I've got those pages ready…" Alice trailed off as she entered the room and saw Mike and I and what she just interrupted, causing Mike and I to separate.  
"See you tonight, Bella," he said as he left the room, his voice deep, almost sultry.  
"Bella, what the hell," Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me to sit down with her. "You and Newton? What about Edward?"  
"Ally, I've told you over and over again. We. Are. Over. Done. I can't trust him. I can't be with someone I can't trust."  
"And you think you can trust Newton? You know how he feels about Edward."  
"Al, I don't know, but I have to do something. Edward and I together, well, we are just…it's too much. I need something else."  
"Edward is going to…"  
"Alice. I love you and you are my best, very best friend. I know Edward is your brother and you love him, but he's out of my life now. I'm moving on."  
MPOV  
That was so much easier than I thought it was going to be.  
Had Cullen's damn sister not come in the room, it could have been Bella and I being the ones who were cumming.  
Cullen thought he was king and that he gets what he wants, when he wants it. I've been biding my time, waiting.  
As soon as I heard he and Bella were on the outs, I knew this was it.  
It was my time to get something that Edward thought belonged to him.  
Bella is going to be one hot fuck. Tanya thinks she is all that, but Bella, well, Bella is hotter than she gives herself credit for.  
I headed to the cafeteria to hang with Tyler and Ben. Cullen was sitting at the table across the aisle from us.  
"Hey, Newton. What took you so long?" Ben asked.  
"I had an errand to take care of," I told him. I knew that I had a huge grin on my face.  
"You are awfully happy about something, Mike. What gives?" Tyler asked.  
"I've got a date tonight." I looked across the aisle. I wanted to see his reaction to my words.  
"I'm going out with Bella tonight."  
Edward grabbed the edges of the table in a fury. I could see his knuckles begin to turn white.  
Good.  
Fuck you, Cullen.  
I gave him my biggest smile.  
I saw him shove away from the table and leave the cafeteria.  
EPOV  
Newton.  
Mike-fucking-Newton.  
Bella knew how I felt about him.  
She knew I hated him with every fiber of my being.  
She wanted to play that game? I can play it better, longer and harder than anyone.  
I see Jessica walking down the hall toward me and she gave me an almost too warm of a smile.  
"Hi there, Jessica."  
I know how to use that "fuck me now" voice.  
I've gotten it down to an art form.  
She stopped next to me and glanced at me from under her lashes.  
"Hey, Edward. What's up?"  
I stepped close to her and wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her to me.  
"Well, Jess, I seem to be getting up right now."  
I lowered my voice and grabbed her hand leading it to my zipper.  
She sighed as she felt my cock getting harder.  
"Edward, I would hate to see you suffer. Is there something I could do to help you with your, not so little problem?"  
She rubbed her hand firmly over my cock and she leaned into me, whispering in my ear, her other hand rubbed across the button of my jeans.  
Damn, this was almost too easy.  
"Jess, that's quite the offer. Let's fucking go." I grabbed her hand and she giggled.  
I found the nearest empty classroom and locked the door.  
I didn't need much time.  
I slammed Jessica against the wall, kissing her neck. I shoved up her shirt and began to kiss her nipples through her bra.  
"Oh yes, Edward. I'm yours." It's not Jessica's voice that my brain hears. She is not the one who is mine.  
She unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling my dick free of its confinement.  
I pulled a condom out of my back pocket. Jessica ripped the packet open and sheathed me. Her hand stroked my entire length.  
I lifted her skirt and wrapped her legs and around my waist and shoved her underwear aside. I slammed my dick into her.  
"Oh, uhhh, Edward. Harder, harder."  
She wanted it hard…that's exactly what she got.  
I grabbed her hair hard and I hammered myself into her, even though it was not her body that I was fucking.  
It didn't take me long and with one last thrust, I finished.  
I knew she wasn't, but I didn't give a shit.  
I stepped back from her, grabbed a Kleenex of the teacher's desk and got rid of the condom.  
"Edward, what the fuck? What about me? I didn't cum." She whined.  
Fucking whined like a damn baby.  
"Jessica, you said you'd take care of my problem. I didn't say a damn think about taking care of yours."  
The bell rang as I unlocked and sauntered out the classroom door, Jessica was not far behind me, telling me to go to hell.  
As I finished adjusting my clothes, I look up and see Bella across the hall. She stopped in her tracks as she looked first at me and then at Jessica.  
She knew what the fuck went down.  
Good.  
Fuck. Her.  
I shrugged my eyebrows at her and turned and walked away.  
BPOV  
So it was like this now.  
I would always love Edward, but I just couldn't see a way for us to be together.  
Not right now anyway.  
Edward wasn't the only one who could play games.  
I had learned from the best.  
Edward knew how to play me emotionally, physically.  
I knew that I had the power to play Mike physically too.  
As I got ready for my date with Mike, I knew exactly what I planned to do and how far I would go.  
I found my blue blouse and frilly skirt that Alice had picked out for me.  
It was one of Edward's favorites. He and Alice always told me that I looked hot in it.  
Edward and I rarely made it passed the bedroom when I wore it.  
I hoped that would be the case with Mike tonight.  
I didn't want to appear too eager when Mike arrived, so when Charlie yelled at me to tell me that he was here, I finally descended the stairs almost ten minutes later.  
I saw Mike's eyes almost bug out of his head when he saw me.  
"Bella, you look beautiful." He almost stuttered.  
I was feeling pretty smug.  
He got up from the couch and handed me a dozen roses.  
"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl."  
"Thanks, Mike. That's really sweet. Let me go to the kitchen and put them in some water."  
Roses, fucking roses? I hate them, but I wasn't about to piss Mike off when there was something that I really wanted from him.  
As I got to the kitchen, I heard someone behind me clear his throat - Charlie.  
"Bells, I know you say you and Edward are over, but you said you loved him. You were together a long time. Don't you think you should take a break and take time to get over him?"  
"Char—Dad, I know what I'm doing. I promise." I smiled and touched his arm gently.  
"A part of me will always love Edward."  
I wondered to myself if it would really always be Edward for me, but the pain we caused each other was just so unbearable.  
I felt my heart tumble in my chest at that thought.  
"I think the best way to get over Edward is to get out and spend time with other people. You used to gripe at me that I spent too much time with Edward."  
I knew that line would do the trick and Charlie would change his tune.  
He cleared his throat again.  
"Maybe you are right, Bells. Have a good time and try not to stay out too late."  
"I will." I kissed him on the cheek and he blushed.  
"Don't wait up, Charlie. I'll be fine."  
I went back to the living room and Mike met me at the door.  
"Are you ready, Mike?"  
He grinned. It's almost like he read the hidden meaning to my question.  
"Oh, Bella, I'm very ready."  
He gently reached for my arm and guided me out of the house.  
The restaurant in Port Angeles was one I had been to very often with Edward.  
No matter where I went or what I did, I couldn't get away from Edward.  
Mike requested a booth for us. Since it was circular we were able to sit close, very close.  
I order my usual, mushroom ravioli. Mike ordered spaghetti and meatballs.  
The conversation with him was easy, yet filled with sexual tension.  
He would lean close to me and whisper in my ear.  
I would do the same and place my hand and gently rub on his upper thigh.  
I felt him shiver as my hand neared his dick.  
I loved this power I had over him in this moment.  
I was the one who was in charge and I made sure that he knew it.  
My hand would almost touch him then wander away.  
I took his hand and placed it on my thigh and he grinned wickedly, moving circles on my leg while my hand held his in place.  
"You're driving me bonkers, Bella," he whispered. "Are you ready to go?"  
"Sure," I whispered back in his ear and nipped his earlobe. His entire body quivered.  
Even though it was almost winter in Forks, the drive-in movie theater was still open for a few more weeks.  
There were few options for entertainment in the small town, so owners always thrived on making as much money as possible.  
Mike pulled in the back row towards the outside.  
Since the theater allowed you to program your radio to a station to hear the movie, Mike kept the car running with the heat on after he parked the car.  
I unbuckled my seat belt and scooted next to Mike, running my hand down his arm.  
"Mike, this was a great idea." I leaned in and kissed his neck, bit gently and ran my tongue over the same spot.  
"Fuck, Bella. You're driving me crazy."  
He turned towards me and put his hands on my cheeks. I looked at him with hooded eyes.  
He was playing right into my hands, literally, as I ran my hand over his hardening cock.  
I licked my lips and finally his lips were on mine. He began to worship me.  
How long had it been since I had felt Edward worship my body like this?  
I don't know that he ever had. Mike was so gentle. I guided his hands where I wanted them to go.  
Under my shirt, on my breasts, under my skirt, along my inner thighs and up to my hot center.  
I kept my eyes closed, imagining someone else's hands there, making me wet and ready for Mike.  
He was kissing me hungrily.  
"Mike," I broke away from him. "I need you. I need your mouth on me."  
I'm pretty sure I heard him moan, "Fuck, yes," as I now guided his head to my breasts.  
He took his time, paying equal attention to both breasts, nipping with his teeth and gently easing the ache he created by twirling his tongue around my nipples.  
I keep his hand working my pussy, finally guiding his fingers underneath the plastic band of my thong. He hissed.  
I begin to push his head lower. He knows what I want and looks up at me and smiles. "Bella, I always knew you'd be like this."  
He pushed me towards the passenger door and I opened my legs wide for him as he raised my skirt to my waist.  
He rubbed both of his hands on my bare ass and grasped my thong and began to pull it down my legs.  
He licked his way back up my legs, my knees, my inner thighs.  
"Mike, stop fucking playing with me. I want your mouth on my pussy now."  
His fingers open my entry and his tongue begins to drive into me, from top to bottom, bottom to top.  
I felt his teeth nip at my clit and it's my turn to groan.  
"Yes, like that. Exactly like that. Use your fingers too Mike."  
He first inserted one finger in me as his tongue and teeth worked my clit.  
"At least two fingers!" I said in an almost harsh voice.  
He complied. "Harder, harder," I ordered him.  
It has never taken me this long to come before.  
Do I have to teach this stupid prick everything?  
"Curve your fingers up, Mike, and push as hard as you can!"  
Finally, after what feels like forever, I felt my walls begin to clench.  
As I finally came, I saw the overhead light come on and hear Mike yell, "Let go of me you asshole!"  
I looked up to see Edward dragging Mike from the car.  
"Keep your damn hands off her!" Edward growled with fury and he began to punch Mike.  
Mike, too stunned, couldn't get any hits in on Edward. I stumbled my way out of the car.  
"Edward, stop! You have to stop this right now!" I screamed.  
A crowd started to gather and I heard someone yell to call the cops.  
Great, just what I needed.  
"She. Belongs. To. Me!" Edward hit Mike with such force I'm almost certain I just heard his nose break.  
There isn't a part of Mike's body that Edward's hands didn't damage.  
I moved behind Edward and hit him in the back over and over.  
"Edward, you have to stop. STOP! You are going to kill him! Let him go! Please, for me, Edward... Let him go."  
I heard sirens in the distance. Tonight is so not turning out how I planned.  
"Edward, now!" His hands finally released Mike, who crumbled to the ground.  
Before I could get to him to check on him, an onlooker was looking over his injuries.  
Edward turned around and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me against him.  
"My hands are the only ones that should EVER touch this body. My lips, my everything! You belong to me, Bella," he snarled and my damn body already attempted to betray me.  
I shook my head to try to clear my thoughts. "No, Edward, not anymore."  
Jesus, I still love him. After Tanya, after Jessica.  
What the hell was wrong with me? My brain must not work right.  
"I know you love me," he murmured in my ear as he kissed my neck.  
"Me. As I love you. You are it for me, Bella."  
I could see the red and blue lights of the police car next to us now.  
"What happened here?" the officer asked as he stood next to us.  
Mike finally spoke. "Him," he pointed to Edward and whimpered in pain.  
"He beat the shit out of me. I want to press charges."  
Even through his haze of pain, I think I saw Mike smile as he demanded Edward's arrest.  
Edward tried to lunge at Mike and the Port Angeles officer grabbed him and held him back. "Son, you need to stop now."  
Edward reached back and hit the officer in the face.  
Everything moved fast after that.  
Edward was slammed against the hood of Mike's car, handcuffs slapped harshly on his wrists.  
He screamed at the cops at the top of his lungs, fighting against the arresting officer.  
He's wild, like a cougar on the attack.  
"Edward, calm down, please," I ordered him. "You are making things worse. Please."  
"Shut the fuck up, you slut!" He glared at me.  
"You know who owns you and you were with that worthless bastard!"  
I cringed at the painful words he was firing at me.  
"Edward, no, I'm so sorry. It's only you. It's only ever been you." I began to cry and reach for him. "He means nothing to me Edward, nothing."  
"Bella, you let him do things to you that are mine to do!" He yelled with utter viciousness.  
EPOV  
"We're back here again, Edward? God, I fucking HATE you!"  
Bella just asked where I've been, when I show up at her front door unannounced with a huge vase of 2 dozen Calla Lilies.  
After my arrest, dad thought it best if we leave town for a while.  
He paid the right people the right amount of money and after me promising not to do anything like this again, I was free as a motherfucking bird.  
Dad thought I had a problem with my temper.  
Sure, whatever.  
I'd been gone two weeks. It was winter break, and I wasn't going to pass up hanging out with my boys in Aspen.  
There was gonna be tons of Snow Bunnies in skin tight ski clothes.  
Blistering wild sex with girls I don't even know, in front of a raging fire.  
Now that's hot! I'm not going there with my girlfriend.  
I was on single status while with those bunnies. (When I'm away from my girl's pussy, I've got to find someone for some "fun.")  
Bella was my girl, even if she thought she wasn't.  
My name is tattooed permanently on her heart, mind and soul.  
"What? You fucking hate me? I swear to God Bella, the only way I'll fucking leave you alone is if I were dead."  
I was tired of this shit. We have the same fucking arguments over and over again.  
Bella threw the flowers I bought her, and the vase nearly grazed my head and slammed into the wall, shattering into tiny pieces.  
"I WISH YOU WERE DEAD EDWARD!" Bella screamed. "I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!"  
Oh, she wants play like that? Okay then, let's see if she means what she says.  
I ran after her and tackled her to her bed. She put up a fight.  
She broke away from me and started to run down the stairs.  
I smirked and ran after her.  
As Bella reached the last steps, I grabbed her ankle and she fell on her face. She bruises easy, so I knew there would be a mark.  
Bella ran out the front door, and I grabbed her arm and stopped her.  
I had her by both arms and looked dead into her eyes.  
"You wanna kill me?"  
"No. I love you", she said.  
Feeling like Dirty Harry, I pull out a 45 auto, from the waistband of my jeans and show it to Bella.  
Her eyes are bugging out.  
"You still love me? Make my day."  
I cock the gun. "Take this." I try to hand it to her. She stared at me.  
"You ready? 1.. 2.. 3.."  
Two shots ring out...


	2. Chapter 2

APOV  
Sometimes I can't believe my life. I feel like I'm living inside a damn soap opera. Being the baby of the family, everyone always gave me what I wanted. The one thing my parents couldn't give me, and my brother Edward did, wasa sister, Bella.  
Until a few months ago, everything was perfect. Then I found out that my brother was a cheating ass, figures. That night that Bella saw Edward with that cheerleading whore Tanya, has been permanently etched into my memory.  
I didn't think things could get any worse that night when I saw Bella crumble to the ground after she saw what happened. She's my best friend. I should never have left her alone after her reaction to what my brother calls "nothing." I call it the night that the bitch sucked the other bitch's, I mean my brother's dick.  
When I walked into Bella's room that night and I saw her with a razor blade to her wrist, my heart stopped. How had it come to this?  
I've been stuck in the middle ever since. Tanya wasn't Edward's only indiscretion. He says he loves Bella, but he can't keep his pants zipped when it comes to the opposite sex, even the skanky, disease-ridden whores.  
And Bella, well, she tried to get even with Edward's worst enemy, the one and only, Mike-fucking-Newton. (Sorry. That's the only thing anyone has ever called him.) The only good that "date" of Bella's did, was get my ignorant brother arrested.  
For years, it has always been Edward and Bella. None of us have known anything else. They are each a side to the same coin, but their relationship, I don't even think it can be called a relationship anymore. All they do is hurt each other.  
Whenever I try to talk to them about it, all I get is "Shut the fuck up, Alice" or "Alice, I love you, but I'm not talking to you about this anymore."  
I need my brother and I need my best friend, but the happily ever after that I have always pictured for them may be a very distant memory. I don't see an easy way to get out of this.  
I've been trying to find a way for weeks to talk to Bella about something else. Me, the yerd (Yearbook nerd, there is really no way around that, it's what I am. I sleep, eat and breathe yearbook.) I think, no, Iknow that I've fallen in love with my brothers' (yes Edward and Emmett) best friend, Jasper Whitlock.  
Jasper is just so totally and utter dreamy! That blonde hair and those blue eyes. Oh, my god! When I look at pictures of him, I actually get lost in those blue eyes.  
Sometimes I think he is staring at me, but there is no way Mr. Popular even knows that I'm alive. He's one of the most popular boys at school. I know that I could never be with him, but a girl can dream, right?  
Enough about me and the fairytale I want, that will NEVER happen. Since Edward's arrest, saying things have been strained around here is the understatement of the century. Dad was able to make some, well, "donations" to people to get Edward out of trouble, for now anyway.  
Dad thought it was a good idea for Edward to get away from town for a while so things could cool down. Newton and his family were not happy that Edward was not being "punished" for the waythat Mike got pummeled from my beloved brother.  
Edward, Emmett, and my future husband, I mean Jasper, went to Aspen alone. I don't even want to think about what went down while they were there. Knowing the man-slut that my brother has become, I just hope the other two, no really I mean Jasper, didn't do anyone, I mean, anything stupid.  
Edward thought it was a good idea for Bella, who he still calls his girlfriend, but has also recently added the title of "backstabbing, cheating bitch," shouldn't know where he was going, how long he was going to be gone, who he was going with. I was ordered not to tell her where he was under any circumstances, at all. Ugh, I'm stuck in the middle yet again! At least Edward left his cell phone at home. I used that as my excuse anytime Bella was upset that she couldn't get a hold of him.  
When she came to the house in tears two days after he left, I was pretty sure I was gonna give him up.  
"Alice, it's like I can't breathe without him here." Bella almost screamed at me. She was wringing her hands together and pacing in my room back and forth like a caged animal.  
"Bella, after what he did to Mike and then basically getting off scot free, he's got to let things cool down around here." I tried to be as reassuring as I could, but this was me (Rock-Alice-Hard Place). It was a position that I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable in.  
"Please," she started to cry. "Al, he's my heart. I'm not complete without him here. I need him. I need my Edward."  
"Bells, just a few days ago when I talked to you about E, you told me that it was over between you two." Damn you Edward for leaving me in the position to pick up the pieces of my friend's life that you've torn to shreds with your stupid infidelities.  
"Ally, please, I can't...I don't know what I am going to do without him. He's my life, the only person that I will ever love. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else."  
Okay. I know she's my best friend, but even saints like me can lose it, and her telling me she can't imagine being with anyone else after what she did with Newton? Please!  
"Really, Bells, really? What-the-Fuck!" I screamed at her at the top of my lungs. I mean, I'm surprised the people in the next county over didn't hear me.  
"You let that slimy, sleeze ball Mike Newton go down on you Bella, and you can't imagine being with anyone else? Umm, I know people think I'm stupid because I am a virgin, but I'm pretty damn sure when you let him screw you with his tongue, that you were 'with' someone else."  
Bella actually cringed at my words, which almost made me feel bad, but lately it's only been about her. I was being her friend, but was she really being mine?  
"Alice…" She turned her back to me and couldn't look me in the eyes. "I know that I fucked up. Are you happy to hear me admit it? I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Well, I obviously wasn't thinking at all. Edward. It's always been Edward. I know that I want it to ALWAYS be Edward. I feel like a fucking whore, like Tanya!"  
Well, as pissed off as I was at her stupidity, even that one mistake with Mike, didn't even put her in the same time zone as that bitch.  
"Bella, I'm sorry. I know that was a low blow. You're my best friend and I love you, a lot. You and Edward, well, you just need to sit down and have a long talk or something. This relationship just isn't healthy. It's like you are both jerking with each other's emotions to see how pissed off you can make the other. Then the next thing you know, you're kissing and making up like nothing happened. That's just jacked up!"  
Bella looked shocked at my words. Did she really not have a damn clue what they were really like in everyone else's eyes?  
Hell, even Emmett told me he thought that Edward and Bella's relationship was beyond "fucked up." Emmett never talks about relationships with anyone, because he doesn't know the first thing about having one himself.  
"Alice, I don't know how to live without him. He is my life."  
"Well, Bella, either you need to figure out how to live without him, or figure out how to be with him, the right way."  
"Alice..."  
"No, Bella! Figure it the fuck out already! I don't know how much more of this the rest of us can take!" I shouted at her at the top of my lungs.  
Bella actually jumped at my words. I was hoping that I didn't have to smack her in the head to knock some sense into her.  
"Sorry, Bells. Why don't you think about things while E's still gone with the guys. Decide what you should do, either end it or fix it."  
She expelled her breath harshly.  
"Ally, in my head, I know you are all kinds of right, but my heart…"  
Bella wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye.  
"Bells, you know I love you, so much." I rubbed my hand up her arm gently to try to comfort her.  
"I love you, too," she sighed. "I'll do my best."  
That was almost a week ago. Edward, Emmett and Jasper…sigh…were due back home any minute. I wished I was brave enough to do something too, I mean, about Jasper.  
The front door slammed and the voices I heard knocked me out of my revelry. My heart even began to pick up its pace just hearing Jasper's voice.  
I did my best to compose myself and headed downstairs.  
Edward and Emmett had thrown their suitcases to the side of the door and I ran down the last steps.  
"Welcome home, my dearest brothers." I hugged Emmett first.  
"What about me?" Edward asked. "Where's my hug?" He almost pouted like a child.  
I giggled as I hugged him.  
"Of course, E." We all laughed together.  
"Hey, Alice." I jumped as Jasper spoke those two words. My heart's beating became erratic and the look I saw on his face, well, let's just say when I head back upstairs, I'm definitely going to have to change my panties. Damn him and that sultry, sexy, sinful voice! His hair. Those eyes. I almost began to hyperventilate.  
"Um… Hi." I inwardly smacked myself in the head. I'm such a moron and have absolutely no clue how to talk to him at all!  
"E, do you have a minute? We need to talk." It was like Edward knew exactly what we needed to discuss.  
"Sure, Alice." He groaned. "Jaz, you gonna hang here for a while?"  
"Yep, Emmett and I are gonna head to the game room. I'm up for a game of pool." Jasper gave Emmett the evil eye.  
"It's not my fault you didn't know how to quit while you were ahead, when we played for dough while on vacay, man," Emmett cocked his eyebrows and laughed.  
"Fuck you, Em! You're a damn pool shark. Let me have a chance to get that money back."  
"Oh, you are so on. Be prepared to lose the shirt off your back, Jaz." Damn Emmett to Hell-in-a-hand-basket for the visual of Jasper's sexy body shirtless. "Are you coming down after you talk to Ally, E?"  
"No, man. I need to go see my girl. It's been two fucking weeks, Em."  
"Edward, man, I thought after Aspen and all the fucking bunnies you fucked, well I thought it was finally over with you and B." (Wonderful, Edward was still being his faithful self…not.)  
"Jasper, shut the hell up, you fuckwad."  
Emmett looked to Jasper and then Edward, then shook his head.  
"Jaz, there is no reasoning with E right now. Let's go downstairs and play. You ready to get your balls handed to you on a silver platter?"  
Dammit, Emmett! Now, I pictured Jasper's…well his…undeniably (even though I so haven't seen it, but would just die to) large and delicious cock, and what I would love to do to that cock and have it do tome.  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Maybe see you later, E. Alice." Jasper said my name again!  
"Bye, Jaz, later, Em." Edward said.  
"Ummmm…bye guys." God, I'm such a dumb ass!  
Emmett and Jasper headed downstairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Jasper look back at me and wink. My mind was obviously playing tricks on me yet again. I sighed.  
"Edward, really. You fucked around behind Bella's back again!"  
I smacked him hard upside his head.  
"Fuck, Ally. We aren't going through this, you beating the shit out of me again. Yes, I tapped a whole lot of pussy on my trip. That's how I roll, and everyone, even Bella, knows that shit."  
"Jesus, you are a self-centered, egotistical, fucking, MAJOR, asshole." I got ready to kick him in his damn dick and he jumped out of the way before I made contact.  
"What the fuck, Alice? No messing with my package! That's the most important part of this." He motioned to himself.  
"Self-centered much, Edward?"  
"Fuck, no. That's a God's honest fact. I'm fuck hot. Anyone with a pussy wants a piece of me."  
"Edward." I took a deep breath and tried to control my anger that was coming to a boiling point pretty damn quickly. "Do you love Bella?"  
"What the hell kind of question is that Alice?" He looked like I had stolen his favorite toy or something. "Of course I love her. She belongs to me and always will."  
"Edward, when you love someone, you don't treat them the way that you and Bella have both been treating each other."  
"Ally, what the fuck do you know? You have no mother fucking idea what love even is. I mean, shit, you're still a virgin! Have you even ever had a first kiss yet?"  
I loved my brother dearly, but there was no way in this lifetime I would take this kind of abuse from him. Before he had a clue what was coming, I used all the strength I had and punched him in face.  
"How dare you talk to me like that!" I began to shake I was so angry. I could feel traitorous tears begin to form in my eyes, but no fucking way would I let him see me cry over his overly cruel words.  
"Jesus, Alice!" Edward yelled back. "I didn't know you were that strong. That really hurt!" He rubbed his face.  
I grabbed him by the hair and forced him to look me in the eyes.  
"Edward, listen and you listen to me good. I'm beyond tired of the way you are acting all the time. I'm not the only one either."  
"I don't know…" He tried to interrupt me.  
"I'm not done talking yet, you bastard!" At this point, all of my control had disappeared.  
"You and Bella and this thing you call a relationship are beyond, well, I have no words for how messed up it is!"  
"You," I said to him as I started pushing at his chest. "You are a man and you need to man the hell up! Bella has been crying on my shoulder the whole time you were gone. If you love her, truly love her, you will stop screwing around with every girl not related to you, who crosses your path."  
" Alice, I'm a man! That's what we fucking do!"  
"No, Edward." My voice lowered, yet had menacing undertones to it. "I almost think it would be better for Bella if she never knew you even existed."  
Edward jumped as if I'd hit him, and without saying a word to me, went upstairs.  
"That was really low, Alice." Jasper said beside me.  
I didn't know he'd been there or how long he'd been listening.  
"Oh really? What about Edward…well, him fucking everything with two legs? That's pretty low, too!"  
"Well, I have two legs and he hasn't tried to fuck me." Jasper grinned that cocky smile of his at me.  
"Are you trying to be funny? Because this situation is no where near funny!" I started shoving at him like I had Edward. I was definitely in rare form today.  
"Well, I thought I was being pretty cute." He winked at me. This time I knew I wasn't imagining anything.  
"Well, you may be cute, but this situation is serious!"  
"You think I'm cute, huh?" He turned the tables on me and with every step he took towards me, I was taking two back.  
Did I say that out loud? I mentally kicked myself in the ass. I was getting diarrhea of the mouth. I groaned.  
"Jasper, stop messing with me okay? You have no idea how bad things have been with Bella. The night she found out about Edward and Tanya, she tried to k…" Holy shit. The runs were flowing freely from my mouth now.  
"What the hell, Alice! She what?" Jasper had a hold of my arm and I had only one thought in my mind. I couldn't tell Bella's secret. It wasn't my place. I could try to distract him, though.  
I used both hands and grabbed a hold of Jasper's shirt and pulled him to me. I stood up on the tips of my toes and slammed my lips into his.  
I could feel his shock as my lips collided with his. Oh, my goodness... what had I done?  
The next thing I knew, I felt Jasper clasp me tightly to him and his tongue began atorturous battle with mine. So this is what it felt like to be fucked by someone's tongue? The fire raging inside of me was about to turn into an uncontrollable wildfire any moment.  
I threw my arms around his neck and I gave back as good as he was giving me. I ran my fingers through his hair. It was so soft with subtle curls.  
And his mouth. It was so much better than I ever imagined. I felt him nip at my lower lip and I shivered.  
He began to move with me. The next thing I knew, I was between his rock hard body and the wall. I gasped, as I felt his cock, against my thigh. He was turned on. I turned him on! Me. Alice (The fucking virgin ass nerd) Cullen, had this sexy man hot. He wanted ME!  
His hands began to move from my waist. One heading south and one heading north. Um, was I really ready for this? My brothers were in the house, and this was their best friend.  
I tore my mouth from his and Jasper began to kiss my neck, as one hand grabbed my ass and the other grazed the side of my breast.  
"Jasper, we need to…" His lips found mine again.  
"Oh, Alice. I know exactly what we need to be doing. It's definitely not talking." His right hand found my nipple and tweaked it while his left hand firmly squeezed my ass.  
Holy shit. I was so wet, I was wondering if I was flooding the living room floor. I heard footsteps on the stairs. Edward? Emmett? It didn't matter who. I had to stop this now. Right now.  
I removed my arms from around Jasper's neck, and reached back and slapped him hard across the face.  
"What the hell, Alice?"  
"Men! You are all worthless piece of shits who want nothing but sex! Well, you may be hot and you may be experienced, but I'll be damned if you're gonna have me."  
I turned and ran up the stairs where I accidentally ran into Edward, as he was heading down the stairs.  
I was scared for him to see my swollen lips and the expression I had on my face. I almost lost my footing, and he grabbed my arm to steady me.  
" Alice, watch where the hell you're going."  
"Sorry, E." I mumbled, keeping my head down.  
"I'm headed to Bella's."  
"Okay, bye."  
I finally made my way to my room, and shut and locked myself in. I leaned against my door and began to freak out.  
"What have I done?" I moaned, and covered my face with my hands.  
JPOV  
What did I do wrong? I rubbed my still burning cheek, as I watched the girl of my dreams head up the stairs to her room.  
When I say girl of my dreams, she has been the only girl that I have thought about being close to, for months now. But she is my best friends' sister. No way I could tell Em and E that their baby sister has been who I fantasize about, when I get myself off.  
Not only is Alice sweet and kind, but she hasgot that hidden fire. I just never knew until now, how hot she really was. I adjusted myself in my pants. Damn. I had it bad and she didn't even know it. No one knew it but me.  
When I felt her lips hit mine, it was like time stood still for me. In that moment, I could see my future, and that future was with her. I meant it. Thenight of the homecoming game, when I told Edward and Emmett that I was going to marry her one day, I will marry her. That definitely won't happen tomorrow. I've got to get her to actually like me first.  
I had to develop a plan to capture the heart of Alice Cullen.  
APOV  
I had no idea how long I had been locked in my room. My heart hadn't calmed at all. I knew he was still here, and I refused to leave this spot until I knew he was gone.  
I can't believe that he thought he could fuck me in the living room, with my brothers only rooms away from us.  
Who does Jasper think he is anyway? He hasn't said more than 20 words to me ever, and he thought he could just have his way with me? I don't think so.  
My phone rang. Bella. It didn't take her and E long to get into it… again.  
"Hey, Bella." I almost rolled my eyes. I was so tired of this damn drama.  
"Ally," Bella said in a weak voice. My heart began to slam against my chest.  
"Bells, what's wrong?" I asked frantically.  
"My house. Edward. Gun. Blood."  
"Bella, are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" My heart slammed hard against my chest. She didn't answer.  
The phone went dead.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O


	3. Chapter 3

BPOV  
My hands trembled as I hung up the phone. Blood. There was so much blood...  
APOV  
I threw open my bedroom door and ran briskly down the stairs.  
"Emmett, Emmett! I need you now. Hurry! We have to get to Bella's!"  
I ran into Jasper as I hit the last step.  
"Ally, slow down. What's wrong?" He grabbed me gently by the arms.  
"Alice, you're screaming the fucking house down, what the hell is your deal?"  
Emmett said.  
I was out of breath. I was shaking from head to toe. I knew my eyes had to be  
the size of saucers. I took a deep breath.  
"Bella. Bella called me." I forced out. My eyes darting to Jasper and Emmett.  
"She said, she said…" I shook my head.  
"Alice, calm the fuck down," Emmett growled at me like a bear. "What's wrong?" I  
could see it register in his eyes that something was very, verywrong.  
I needed to pull myself together. Jasper looked at me with such concern in his  
eyes.  
"Alice, honey, calm down" Jasper said gently. "What happened?"  
"Bella, well, she didn't say much. She said that Edward was at her place with a  
gun! She said there was a lot of blood!" I lost it, as I had to repeat the  
words she said to me.  
Emmett and Jasper looked at each other. Jasper grabbed me and dragged me with  
them to the car.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EMPOV  
I have never driven as fast as I was now. A gun! Jesus, what happened? Lately,  
I had seen more and more bruises on Bella, but I thought it was just her  
inability to walk while chewing gum at the same time. Could Edward have been  
hurting her- on purpose? The way his temper has flown off the handle lately,  
hell, he has the worst temper of anyone I've ever seen. Was she even still  
alive? The entire drive to Bella's I couldn't focus my thoughts. Al and Jaz were  
in the backseat, and Jasper was trying his best to stop her from  
hyperventilating. As I pulled onto Bella's street, I saw the flashing lights, an ambulance.  
I never thought that my dad taking us to a gun range and hunting, would result  
in Edward using a gun on someone. Especially Bella.  
What was he thinking?  
CHPOV  
What I like best about being the police chief in a small town like Forks is  
that we are a close-knit town that has an almost non-existent crime rate. The  
most "dangerous" criminals we have are the teenagers, and their occasional  
vandalism and the out-of-towners who think they can drive whatever speed they  
want to, through my town. Today is just a normal day, and I'm sitting at my desk  
playing cards with my deputy, Sam.  
"That's five hands in a row that you've beat me now, Sam. Did you mark this deck  
or something?" I grinned at him.  
"Chief, you are just so easy to read. It's clear to see where Bella gets it  
from." The phone rang giving me time to glance at the cards in my hand one more  
time.  
"Sam, make yourself useful and answer that call while I make us some coffee."  
"I'll get right on that, Chief," he laughed and answered the phone. "Forks  
Police Department. This is Sam. How may I help you?"  
He grabbed and looked at my hand of cards I had just placed on the desk. I  
cleared my throat and rolled my eyes at him as I started brewing the coffee.  
"Slow down, I can't understand you. A shooting?"  
I quickly went to Sam as he tried to gather information from the caller.  
"What's the address?" he asked. His expression changed and his face paled. "Can  
you please repeat the number? 184?"  
Sam looked me in the eyes and I knew immediately. Bella.  
I tried to snatch the phone from Sam and he jerked away from me.  
"You've already called the paramedics? Good. Stay calm. We're on our way." He  
hung up the phone.  
"Bella?" I asked him worriedly, as we almost sprinted out the office door to the  
cruiser.  
"I don't know, Chief. It wasn't her on the phone. Paramedics are on the way and  
will probably beat us there."  
I tried to get in the driver's side door and Sam stopped me.  
"Chief, I think you should let me drive."  
I tossed the keys to him as we got in the car.  
"Sam, drive as fast as you can," I ordered him.  
"You don't have to tell me twice, Chief."  
BPOV  
My eyes bugged out of my head as Edward pulled the gun from the waistband of his  
jeans. He cocked the gun and showed it to me. Did he really think I would be  
scared of a gun? Charlie taught me how to shoot before I even got into grade  
school. I could handle a gun as well as my dad any day of the week.  
I took the gun from Edward and felt its weight in the palm of my hand. A .45  
auto, nice gun, I thought. Must be one out of Carlisle's collection. He's the  
only man I know with better tastes in guns than my dad could ever have. He even  
has a 1894 Winchester 30-30 that he sometimes uses when he and the boys go  
hunting for bears and mountain lions.  
Edward grinned that crooked smile that I adored, with a look that dared me to  
kill him, like I just told him I wanted to. "I'll show him," I thought to  
myself.  
"You ready?" I asked him as I eyed him. "1…2…3…"  
I took perfect aim and pulled the trigger aiming at the tree to the right of  
Edward. I knew that I would hit my mark, and I did. The bark of the tree flew off  
from the impact of the bullet as it collided with trunk. The sound of the shot  
wiped that crooked grin off his face and startled him, causing him to jump as I  
pulled the trigger a second time. Instead of hitting the tree that had just been  
in my site, the second shot hit Edward and he collapsed to the ground.  
"What the fuck, Bella! You shot me."  
I dropped the gun from my now trembling hands and ran to Edward's side.  
"Holy shit Edward! You know I wasn't trying to hit you!" I screamed at him, as I  
began to put pressure on the wound.  
"You bitch!" he screamed through gritted teeth.  
"Edward, I was aiming for the tree you fuck head!"  
Just then, my neighbor ran outside, as I started yelling, "SOMEONE CALL 911!"  
"E, baby. I'm so, so sorry! I never meant to shoot you! I love you!"  
I'm holding down on Edward's wound, applying pressure, and he starts screaming,  
"Don't fucking touch me! You did this to me! You really want me dead?" The last  
part he uttered, almost a whisper.  
"No baby, no! I love you! I missed you while you were away. Didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? Please don't ever leave me again."  
I could hear sirens off into the distance.  
"Please don't try and talk, E. The ambulance is almost here."  
I hear a screeching sound, and footsteps running towards us.  
"He's been hit. I accidentally shot him."  
As the paramedic told me to move, and I hear a gasp. "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! WHAT  
DID YOU DO?"  
Charlie. He was pissed!  
EPOV  
That bitch shot me! I really didn't think she was going to, that she had it in  
her to actually pull the trigger, but she did it. She. Shot. ME.  
I'm almost surprised Bella didn't pass out from all the blood. She is a wimp and  
shit when it comes to blood. Usually a small cut and she gets physically ill.  
Bella wanted to ride with me in the back of the ambulance, but they had  
questions to ask her.  
Emmett came with me instead. I was still pissed off at Alice. She hits hard, for  
being so fucking tiny!  
I asked the EMT for drugs, and the good shit too, because the pain was  
unbearable. I wasn't crying like a pussy or anything, but it fucking hurt!  
As I was pulled from the ambulance and wheeled to the ER, I knew the "family  
reunion" would happen much sooner rather than later. My dad was already there,  
as he was on duty in the ER, and my mom was there too. She had lunch with my dad  
everyday at 2pm.  
"Oh my God, Edward. What happened? Are you okay sweetie? Do something Carlisle!"  
My mother was panicking, as I was being wheeled passed her on the gurney.  
"Calm down Esme. Let me see what happened. Go sit in my office, and I'll update  
you as soon as I know more."  
Alice went to go wait with my mom, Em and Jaz, as my dad worked to stabilize the bleeding  
from my leg.  
BPOV  
"What the hell were you thinking, Bells?" My dad asked me.  
What wasI thinking? I knew better than aiming guns at people.  
I just wanted to scare Edward, not shoot him. He was gone for so long. He had  
left me without one single word. I wanted teach him a lesson. He HAD to stop taking me and how I feel for him for granted.  
"Dad, it was an accident."  
"Okay, start from the beginning and tell us what happened," Sam asked.  
I proceeded to tell Sam everything from the argument with Edward, all the way up to  
me aiming and shooting the tree.  
"Well then, let's ride down to the hospital and see how Edward is doing,"  
Charlie said.  
As I walked toward the cruiser, my dad said, "Oh no. Where do you think you're  
going? You stay here."  
"No way! I want to be with Edward. You can't stop me!" I shouted.  
"Like hell I can't. You are grounded, and I don't want you around Edward  
anymore. Do you hear me?"  
"Dad...Please. Let me make sure that Edward is okay, and then you can ground me.  
Please."  
Charlie sighed and waved his hand for me to get into the cruiser. As I was  
ushered into the backseat, I began to actually feel like a criminal, like I had  
done something wrong.  
CPOV  
"We have a GSW to the leg. What are his vitals?"  
"BP's 150 over 80," said the EMT.  
"Get an x-ray and call OR 1 and have it prepped. Have Nurse Hale and Nurse  
Webber ready on my team. I'm going up to scrub in and it better be ready."  
I was trying to mentally detach myself as I saw my son, lying in front of me  
bleeding. But I was pissed! Who in the hell did this and why? While I was  
waiting for the x-ray to be developed, I needed to examine his wound to see how  
serious it really was. I also wanted to try to get some answers from my son.  
"Nurse Webber, please get some shears and cut his pants away so I can examine  
the wound more closely."  
As she cut his pants, I saw the wound was right above his knee. It was still bleeding more severely than I hoped it would be. Edward was visibly in a great deal of pain.  
"Edward, how are you feeling son?"  
"Like I've been shot in the fucking leg, dad." he moaned.  
"I know it hurts Edward. I'm going to get you fixed up soon. Do you remember  
what happened to you?" Edward grimaced in pain as I began physically examining his leg.  
"Tell me, Edward. What happened?" Of all of my children, Edward could even  
try the patience of a saint.  
"Dad…"  
"Now!"  
"It was…It was…Bella," he whispered so softly that I was almost certain that I  
did not hear what I thought I heard.  
"What?" I almost whispered back to him. "What did you just say?"  
Before I can get more details from Edward, Nurse Hale returned with the x-ray. I  
felt some relief when it didn't look like the bullet hit near the femoral  
artery.  
"I'll meet you in the OR with the rest of the team," I told Nurse Hale and Nurse Webber as they began to prep Edward for surgery.  
When I entered my office, Esme jumped up from the couch where she was sitting, with her arms wrapped around Alice and ran towards me. Emmett followed Esme, while Jasper sat next to Alice on the couch.  
"Carlisle, how is my boy?"  
"Yeah dad, how's E?" Emmett asked.  
"The x-ray looks like the bullet missed the artery in his leg. We won't know what other type of damage he may have to his nerves, muscles and tendons until  
we actually get in there. From the looks of things, I really think he should be alright."  
As I hugged Esme, I felt her sigh with relief.  
"They are moving him to the OR for me now, so I have to go."  
"Carlisle, you better bring him back to me, in better condition then when he  
came in."  
"We're wasting time. I have to go."  
As I entered the OR, Nurse Hale was waiting for me. It was her first year  
as a nurse. Rosalie Hale skipped a few grades in high school and finished nursing school 3 weeks ago. It was odd seeing such a young girl in my ER. But she was befuddling smart. I knew I could count on her.  
"Dr. Cullen, the patient is stable. We are ready when you are," said Nurse  
Webber.  
I got to work using the scalpel to remove the tissue that was damaged beyond  
repair. The next thing I knew, I saw a change in my son's leg that sped my heart  
and the speed that I was operating on him.  
As I looked down, I saw a dark blue color, and immediately knew there was a  
problem that I hadn't expected.  
"There is a blood clot. I'm going to have to remove it. Everyone get ready to  
act fast in case we get a bleeder."  
"Yes, Doctor." said Nurse Hale.  
I threw myself into my work like I never had before. The tissue surround the  
clot was filling rapidly with blood and began to disrupt my view. "More suction," I ordered.  
Nurse Hale cleared the area and I began the intricate work to remove the clot.  
"His pressure is dropping," Nurse Webber said.  
"Just another minute and I will have the clot out." I had no doubt that  
I had to perform my best surgery ever. This is my son. Not only did his life  
depend on the outcome of this surgery, but mine as well.  
"Doctor, he's still hemorrhaging," Nurse Rosalie said.  
"I'm close to the bullet. I see it. Right where I hoped it would be." I worked  
to remove it and cauterize the wound to stop the bleeding.  
"His stats are stabilizing, Dr. Cullen," Nurse Hale said.  
What felt like an eternity later I finally pulled out the slug, I threw it in  
the tray and said, "Okay, let's finish this up and get the wound dressed. Great  
job everyone."  
As I left the operating room, I had one thing on my mind. I wanted to find  
Edward's girlfriend and find out why the hell she put a bullet in my son's leg.  
BPOV  
I felt nauseous as Sam pulled up to the hospital in the cruiser. Dad got out and  
opened my door. He grabbed me by the arm as I got out and I winced.  
"What the hell is wrong with you Bella?" He looked me in the eyes and he could  
see that it wasn't just mental pain that I was feeling right now. "Are you hurt,  
Bells?"  
I shook my head. "No, dad. I'm perfectly fine. It's nothing." As I tried to pull  
my arm away from Charlie, as he pulled my shirt sleeve up and gasped. I looked down and  
saw a bruise on my arm. It was very clear to Charlie what caused it, since the  
bruise was the shape of a handprint, Edward's handprint.  
"I can't believe that son of a bitch did this to you, Bella!" he said through  
gritted teeth.  
"Dad."  
"Don't you 'Dad' me right now! Are you hurt anywhere else?"  
"I'm fine. I need to see how Edward is. It's my fault that he's here."  
"From the looks of things, he got exactly what he deserved," Charlie grumbled.  
"Char—Dad, how could you say that?" I said softly. "Please, I have to make sure  
he's going to be ok. I love him."  
The admissions clerk told dad that Edward was in surgery, so we went to the waiting room to wait for Carlisle. The room was empty, I wondered where his family was.  
"It shouldn't be long now, Charlie," Sam said. "I just checked with the OR receptionist. Carlisle is closing up."  
"Did she say.."  
"Bella, she didn't tell me anything other than the surgery was almost over."  
I slouched down into the nearest chair and dropped my head in my hands. I can't believe this is my life!  
Charlie sat next to me and clasped my hands in his.  
"Honey, just breathe…"  
"You," said a voice overflowing with such contempt that I cringed back deeper into the seat. I looked up into Carlisle's eyes that were burning with anger.  
"Carlisle, watch how you talk to my girl," Charlie said as he stood and was now toe to toe with Carlisle.  
"Bella, you shot my son! Why? Why would you do such a thing?" he screamed at me.  
"Carlisle, I didn't mean to, it was an accident," I told him weakly.  
Carlisle tried to step closer to me and Charlie stopped him.  
"Carlisle, it WAS an accident," Charlie said.  
"Accident my ass!" Carlisle shouted again. I saw Esme, Emmett, Alice and Jasper coming down the hall to see what was causing the commotion. "Charlie, your girl knows how to shoot a gun, there is no way that she didn't mean to do this."  
"I love Edward. I would never…I would never hurt anyone I love on purpose," I whispered.  
"That's right Carlisle! She wouldn't hurt a fly let alone your god damned hot tempered son!" Charlie defended me. Then he shocked me by pulling up the sleeve of my shirt where I was bruised. "Look at that! Do you think she put that bruise on herself!"  
I heard Alice gasp, as she saw the bruise forming on my forearm. I gripped the sleeve, pulled it down and covered the bruise.  
"The gun that I have as evidence right now, Carlisle, it is out of your collection!"  
Carlisle appeared totally shocked by my bruises and the fact that it was his gun that had shot Edward. Suddenly, his eyes glassed over.  
"Shooting Edward isn't the first time that your child has hurt someone," Carlisle said in a near triumphant voice.  
My heart began pounding heavily in my chest. I felt the walls about to close in. He promised.  
"Carlisle, please...don't," I begged.  
"Don't what Bella! You don't want me to tell your dad that you tried to kill yourself!"  
Charlie looked as if someone had slapped him in the face. I heard Edward's family and their collective shock resonate in the hallway.  
"Bells…" Charlie questioned me.  
"Dad, it wasn't like that. I didn't." Oh God, I didn't know what to say. My world was collapsing all around me.  
"You didn't!" My best friend chose now to find her voice. "What would you call it, when I come in your room and you have a razor blade to your wrist? I don't think you were trying to shave. If my dad and I hadn't gotten to your house when we did, you would be dead and my brother wouldn't be hurt by someone who allegedly loves him!"  
"Bella," Esme looked at me. "It was you? You shot my son?"  
"No, Esme, I didn't do it on purpose, he…"  
"Stop right there," she said angrily. "I want you out of here and I want you gone now!"  
Charlie grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. "You don't have to worry about a thing. I don't want my daughter anywhere near your son, just like you don't want my daughter near him. Once an abuser, always an abuser; and I'll be damned if I allow him to put his hands on my daughter in anger ever again."  
As we prepared to leave the hospital, I knew my life would never be the same again.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EPOV  
What the hell was up with all the beeping and clattering, I thought as I  
awakened through what could have only been a drug induced haze. Then it hit me,  
I'm in the hospital. Bella. She fucking shot me in the leg. Could I really blame  
her though? I was the one who gave her the God damned gun.  
I needed to see Bella and I needed to talk to her now. I struggled with the  
narcotics in my system and opened my eyes. Next to my bed was not the person  
that I needed, it was my mom.  
"Edward, honey, how do you feel?"  
"Mom," I croaked. Damn my mouth was parched. I had to fight to get the words out. "I'm fine, mom."  
"Oh, Edward, you had us all so worried."  
"Mom, Bella. I need to see Bella."  
"Honey, she's gone."  
"What do you mean she's gone?" Had something happened to her? I heard the  
beeping of the monitor beside my bed accelerate, as all my worst fears were  
running through my head.  
"Edward, calm down son," my dad said as he entered my room. "Are you in pain?"  
"No, dad, I don't feel much of anything."  
"Then what's wrong," he demanded.  
"I need to see Bella, dad. Mom seems to think she's gone. I think that's  
bullshit. I want to see her and I want to see her now." The beeping continued to  
increase as I began to struggle to get up. If they weren't going to get her for  
me, I'd fucking find Bella myself.  
My dad shoved me back into the bed.  
"Stop it now, Edward!" dad yelled at the top of his lungs.  
"Bella!" I screamed. "Bella, where are you?" Mom leaned over me with  
tears in her eyes. "Mom, I need her. She belongs to me. I need Bella. I have to  
see Bella."  
"Edward, you can't see her. She's not here." The tears streamed down my mom's  
face. It was almost like she could feel the pain that I was feeling.  
"Call Charlie, please mom. I need my fucking girl! Have him bring her." I was  
almost frantic at this point. She put her hand to my cheek.  
"Edward, Charlie sent her back to Arizona. Back to her mom."


	4. Chapter 4

CHPOV  
As I was ushering my daughter towards the exit, I realized that I had some "unfinished business" with one, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.  
"Sam, can you get Bella to the cruiser? I need to take care of something."  
"Sure, boss." Sam wrapped his arm protectively around Bella's shoulder, as he led her out of the hospital. She looked as destroyed as I felt by Carlisle's revelation. I can't believe that my little girl tried to kill herself, because of that boy. It was so hard for me to wrap my brain around that. It's my job as a father to protect her and I knew just how to do that.  
I headed down the hallway to the waiting area. I knew the Cullens wouldn't be far away from their golden boy. I cleared my throat as I saw them. If looks could kill, Sam would have to arrest every member of the Cullen family for my murder.  
Carlisle got up from where he was sitting with Esme and looked me dead on in the eye.  
"We asked you to leave." He jerked his head towards the exit.  
"Carlisle, I want nothing more than to totally forget your family even exists, but you and I have something important to discuss in regards to our children. Can I speak to you privately in your office?"  
"I don't know what you think…"  
"Carlisle, trust me. I know how we can fix this situation. I know how to make everything better for all parties involved." He looked like he couldn't get away from me fast enough, but he sighed heavily and looked back at his family.  
"Honey, I'll be back in a few minutes." He glanced at his watch, then back at Esme. "I'm sure Edward is situated in his room right now, if you want to go sit with him until he wakes up."  
Esme continued to give me dirty looks, but with the mention of her little angel, I quickly became her last concern.  
"Oh, Carlisle, thank you! I can't wait until he wakes up and I know he's really ok. No thanks to…" Another glare from the Mrs. was sent my way.  
Carlisle held up his hand and stopped her, before she could say something that would likely set off the silent war that was waging between our families. "Esme, please, go check on our boy. Emmett, Jasper, Alice, please wait here for a while. I don't want Edward overwhelmed when he wakes up."  
"Sure, dad. Can I walk mom to the room though?" Emmett asked almost shyly.  
"That's fine, but come back here and wait with your sister and Jasper, after your mom gets to his room."  
Emmett got up and grabbed his mother's hand, as they headed to Edward's room. Carlisle and I then began our short walk to his office.  
I followed him in, as he shut the door and went to stand behind his desk. He was trying to play the "oh so powerful Chief of Staff," "I've been to college," "I'm more powerful than you" card.  
"Say what you have to say and say it now. I need to be with my family during this difficult time that was created by your family's carelessness." Not again. I had to reign in my temper before I could even think about responding to him.  
"I think you and I both know that it was our children's combined actions, that put us all in the situation they are in right now." My tone showed Carlisle that I refused to take anymore of his accusations, that myBella was the only one in the wrong. "It was your son who brought the gun to my house."  
"Go ahead, you said you could fix this. How do you suggest we 'fix' this situation?"  
"You don't want your son around my daughter, anymore that I want her around him. This relationship that they have, if we can even call it a 'relationship,' is beyond toxic. It needs to stop. It is very obvious to all of us at this point, that they both bring out the absolute worst in each other. We need to find a way to remove that negative influence from each of their lives."  
"I can't believe I agree with something a Swan has to say, but I couldn't agree with you more. What do you have in mind?"  
"It's simple really. You can 'call' me when Edward wakes up, to tell me that he never wants to see Bella again. Ever. She doesn't have to know that he didn't really say it."  
"Chief Swan, the way those two are, how can you be so sure she would believe that he said it at all?"  
"Things changed for both of them today. I can tell you that if I was in their position, I would be questioning my life, second-guessing some things."  
"Well, that could keep Bella away from Edward, but how do we keep my son away from her?" I could see his eyes light up, with the knowledge of how we could permanently keep our children apart. "I tell Edward that Bella said she never wants to see him again."  
"Exactly. But, I can make things even better than that. I don't want Bella in the same town with your son either; at least for a while. I'm going to send her to her mother in Arizona until I can get things set up for her to go to school on the reservation. That way once she does return, they won't be forced in situations where they could be together and attempt to reconcile. They are kids, and it is time for us to be the parents and help guide them, so their lives are not jacked up with anymore of this teen angst. So, Dr. Cullen, do we have a deal?" I reached out my hand to him and he reached his out and shook mine.  
"Absolutely. This couldn't make me happier." I could tell that this idea definitely made him as happy as it was making me.  
"Good, good. And I don't need to tell you that this little 'conversation' between you and I never happened. As far as you know, all I told you is that I'm sending Bella to Arizona. Got it?"  
The pleased glint in his eyes showed me that he more than got it.  
"Swan, I never thought I'd say this, but …. deal." I nodded and headed out to the car, to face my daughter and prepare for the heartbreak that I knew I would cause her. But that heartbreak was needed, so I could protect her from the clutches of young Cullen. Her life literally depended on this.  
BPOV  
The ten-minute drive from the hospital to the police station, to drop Sam and the evidence off, and then to our house, felt like it lasted six months.  
Charlie's phone rang as we were almost home. Since I was in the back of the cruiser, I couldn't hear much of what he said, but I thought I heard him mention Edward's name. My heart was in my throat with anticipation. How was he? Was he really going to be ok?  
As we pulled up in front of the house, Charlie opened the back door of the cruiser so I could get out. He hadn't spoken a single word to me since we'd left the hospital. He was always quiet, but this kind of eerily quiet had me worried to the depths of my soul.  
I was trying to formulate in my mind what I had to, and needed to say to Charlie. I know he's freaking the fuck out and this silent treatment is causing me to have chills all over my body; like someone walked across my grave or something.  
I trudged behind Charlie into the house and began to go upstairs. I definitely needed more time before I faced dad's wrath.  
"Where do you think you are going young lady?"  
"Dad, I'm exhausted. I need to get some rest." As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew this was the most lame excuse ever.  
"Living room, now." Charlie's voice was soft but the tone... well, if I was a dog, my tail would have been between my legs. I dragged myself to the couch and sat down.  
I was fidgeting with my hands and my head was bent down. I know it was pathetic of me not to look Charlie in his eyes, but the disappointment and fear that I had seen in them earlier, in my fragile state of mind, I could not stomach seeing it again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dad sit down in his recliner. He sighed heavily, "Bella, what the hell is going on with you, with your life?"  
He didn't give me a chance to answer when he continued, "I don't have to ask you if Carlisle and Alice told the truth. Your face said it all. What would cause you to do that to yourself? Don't you know what you would have done to all of us, if you had succeeded? I can't imagine my life without you in it. Your mom, Renee, would have been just as destroyed. I love you so very much, Bella. Everything I do, I do foryou." I felt myself burrow deeply into the couch as the realization of what I had done, what I could have done, finally, truly, hit me. It hit me with such a force, that it temporarily took my breath away.  
"Dad, I swear, I didn't mean to try … that wasn't…" I started crying.  
"Oh, hell, Bells." Charlie shook his head and placed his hands at the back of his neck. I could tell he was beyond frustrated and as sad as I was at this point.  
"It is crystal clear that this all boils down to Edward. He's just not good for you, sweetheart. You deserve someone who makes you happy. Someone who worships the ground you walk on. Someone whose sole purpose is to make you smile that beautiful smile of yours and to put your needs above theirs, always. Someone who keeps you safe from harm not someone who hurts you. All that Edward has done lately is hurt you emotionally and physically. I can't stand to see you like this anymore, Bells. I'm so afraid that he has destroyed a part of you that you will never get back."  
"He does make me happy. Dad, I love him. He's my life. I just…I can't see myself without him. He completes me, daddy."  
"Your life," he harrumphed. "Do you think that he feels the same way about you after what happened today? You shot him in the leg. Even if you didn't mean to do that, do you think that will matter to him at all? He's in the hospital, because of you."  
I couldn't believe that my dad just said that to me. I was beyond shocked that he would throw that back in my face. "Dad, he knows it was an accident. I would never hurt him on purpose, he was the one who…"  
"Bella, the call that I got in the car was from Carlisle."  
"Is Edward…" I swallowed hard. I could tell by the look in Charlie's eyes something really bad was coming.  
"He's going to be fine, Bells." I was overwhelmed with relief as with Charlie's assurance. "But, honey, things changed for him today."  
"What do you mean?" My heart began racing at a nearly uncontrollable rate. My mouth got dry and it became difficult for me to swallow.  
"Bells, he's awake. He had Carlisle call me with a message for you." Charlie got up and sat beside me. He lifted up my chin and forced me to look him in the face. I starting praying for the strength that I knew I was going to need to be able to survive this.  
"What, what did he say? When can I see him?" Charlie reached over and gently clasped both of my hands in his, as he looked at me with tears forming in his eyes.  
"I can't think of an easy way to say this. I'm so sorry, so very sorry, honey." He stroked the tears away that I didn't even know were still falling from my eyes. "He said doesn't ever want to see you again, Bella. He said that it's over, done. He can't forgive you for putting him in the hospital. He's scared that you could have ended his football career from today's accident."  
"Dad, no! Without him I'm nothing! He can't leave me. He can't…. I can't….' I couldn't find my focus. My heart was being shredded into pieces. The pain erupting in my chest was excruciating. Never, ever, even the night that I saw Edward with Tanya, had I experienced the level of despair that was consuming my entire body permeating to the depths of my soul. "Dad, I can't live without him. I don't know how to live without him," I whispered almost inaudibly.  
"Bella, I love you so much. I know how what Edward has said, is hurting you. Things haven't been right between you two for a while. Maybe it's time to make a clean break. I know what would happen if you saw him and he totally ignored you, or even worse tore into you for what you did. I think that you need some separation from him, from places that you could run into him at least for a while. You're moving back to Arizona with your mom. That's far enough away that maybe all of us can find some peace and you can begin to heal. If after a few weeks you think you can handle being back in Forks, that's fine. Maybe I can get you into the reservation school so you didn't have to face the Cullens on a daily basis."  
I began to sob hysterically as Charlie enveloped me in his arms, as my brain told me that it was time for me to get over Edward. That Edward didn't want me anymore. There was an empty space in my heart and nothing left to remind me of Edward. But the throbbing ache of my heart, that Edward had now damaged beyond repair.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I woke up a few hours later, curled in the fetal position on my bed. I had no memory of coming up to my room. Charlie must have carried me up here after crying myself to sleep in his arms. I noticed that my suitcase was sitting beside the bed and my heart lurched agonizingly. It was really happening. It was so hard for me to comprehend everything that had happened today.  
I needed to talk to someone. I really wanted to talk to Edward, but I winced when I remembered his cruel words that he didn't even have the guts to tell me himself. There was only one person who would listen to me, and be there for me to help me through all the pain and sorrow that I was experiencing. I needed my best friend. I needed Alice. I picked up my cell phone and tried to call her. Call rejected. Huh? What's going on? I called again. Call rejected. What. The. Hell. Well, maybe the cell phone reception at the hospital is bad, so I decided to text her instead.  
Ally, can you talk? ~~ B  
What do you want to talk about? ~~Lil Pixie  
How's E doing? Is he really going to be ok? ~~ B  
How's he feeling? Do you really have the nerve to ask that question after what you did to him today? He's inconsolable right now! ~~ Lil Pixie  
Do you have any idea at all what you've done to my brother? I'm literally sick about it. How could you do that to someone that you profess to love? Huh? Tell me, because I don't have a clue! ~~ Lil Pixie  
I couldn't believe my eyes. How could my best friend be talking to me like this, after the day that I've had today. I needed her, how could she not be here for me? It was her brother who decided he never wanted to see me again! He's the one who broke my heart!  
Why are you so angry with me Alice? None of this was my fault. ~~ B  
Wasn't your fault…right! Obviously he shot himself in the leg while you watched helplessly. ~~ Lil Pixie  
Before I could even type a text back to try to defend myself, her newest message broke my already shattered heart. I didn't think that my heart could ache anymore than it was, until I read her spiteful words.  
Please don't text me anymore. I need a break from all of this chaos that you caused. Just, just don't contact me, please. We will both be much better off if you don't. ~~ Lil Pixie  
I typed slowly through the tears. She was gone. Just like Edward. I hit the send button with a shaky hand.  
I'm so sorry you feel that way, Ally. :( I love you. I'll respect your wishes. You know where to find me, if you change your mind about things. You will always be my best friend. xoxo ~~ B  
I swallowed the large lump in my throat and threw my cell phone across the room. It shattered into pieces, as it hit the wall with more force than I thought myself capable of using.  
I forced myself out of bed, grabbed the suitcase and began the almost torturous task of packing. I didn't know how long I was going to be gone. If Charlie mentioned it, I certainly didn't remember. Suddenly I felt realization strike me. It didn't feel like there was anything left in Forks for me anymore. In a day, not only had I lost my best friend, who was like a sister to me, but I've also lost the love of my life, my reason for being.  
As I closed up the suitcase, uncontrollable sobs bubbled up from the deep fissures of pain radiating throughout my chest. I collapsed onto my bed and wrapped my arms tightly around my body, trying my best to stop myself from breaking into even more pieces. I was about to leave the only real home that I'd ever known. But this isn't a home anymore. There's just an empty space in my chest, and pain to remind me of the memory of what we had shared together. I was leaving Edward. Just like he asked me to.


	5. Chapter 5

EPOV  
"I need to see Bella, dad. Mom seems to think she's gone. I think that's  
bullshit. I want to see her and I want to see her now." The beeping continued to  
increase as I began to struggle to get up. If they weren't going to get her for  
me, I'd fucking find Bella myself.  
My dad shoved me back into the bed.  
"Stop it now, Edward!" dad yelled at the top of his lungs.  
"Bella!" I screamed. "Bella, where are you?" Mom leaned over me with  
tears in her eyes. "Mom, I need her. She belongs to me. I need Bella. I have to  
see Bella."  
"Edward, you can't see her. She's not here." The tears streamed down my mom's  
face. It was almost like she could feel the pain that I was feeling.  
"Call Charlie, please mom. I need my fucking girl! Have him bring her." I was  
almost frantic at this point. She put her hand to my cheek.  
"Edward, Charlie sent her back to Arizona. Back to her mom."  
The world around me seemed to stop as soon as I heard those words. The beeping around me intensified.  
"No, mom. That can't be right. She knows her place is with me, always with me." I was gasping to get the words out of my mouth. Every fucking breath was a struggle. "Bella!" I tried to scream her name but I wasn't sure what was happening to me. I felt a tightness pulling at my chest. It felt like there were God damned boulders that were on top of me.  
"Carlisle, you have to do something! What's wrong? Edward! Edward, please, please you have to calm down for me." I heard my mom but it seemed like she was very far away from me.  
"He's having a panic attack, Esme. I'll get a sedative and it will calm him down."  
I was not a fucking pansy assed dick having a panic attack. This was something else. Even when the bullet hit my leg this morning it didn't hurt like this. I didn't know that this level of pain even existed.  
I thought I heard the door and my dad's voice, but they were so distant. My eyes couldn't focus. All I could see was a gray hue before my eyes, but my body, this pain brought out sensations that were beyond words. I could feel every drop of blood as it moved throughout my body. The rocks kept pounding and pounding at my chest as my breaths grew more and more shallow.  
"What the fuck is happening to me? Am I dying? This is what it feels like to die," I thought to myself. The pressure on my chest was fucking brutal and I knew what it was. "The reason for my existence had just vanished from my life," I thought as I felt a needle in my arm. Blackness soon enveloped me with its presence.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
When I woke up again, I was blissfully alone. I didn't know how much time had actually passed, if it were merely minutes, hours or even days. No matter how long I had been here I needed to talk to my fucking girl. I knew that my parents had to be full of shit. No damn way she would ever leave me. No. Fucking. Way.  
I maneuvered my arm through the IV's that were in the way, and fumbled for the phone. My body twisted in the wrong direction causing a horrendous pain to shoot through my injured leg. "Mother fucker! God damn it!" I almost shouted through gritted teeth. I noticed the morphine pump next to me and decided what the hell. I mean, it is the good shit, so it will make my damn body find numbness again. I sighed as I felt the warmth of the painkiller began to find purchase throughout all the cells in my body.  
I didn't have a clue what time it was, and I honestly didn't give a shit. The morphine was already starting to work its wonderful magic on me. I dialed Bella's cell phone number. After 5 rings, "Hi. This is Edward's Bella. You know what to do after the beep." The beep sounded almost ominous to my ear. "Bells, this is your Edward. Where the fuck are you? I need you with me, baby. Hurry to me please. I can't do this without you." I could hear my voice slurring. Before I could say anything else, BEEP. Before I could call her back again, I dropped the phone on the floor. Fuck. My. Life.  
As the morphine took me deep into the darkness, I felt one tear slip from my eye and I uttered the only thing that had ever and would ever matter to me. "Bella."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I threw my arm over my eyes, trying to block out the sun filtering in through the windows, but it didn't work.  
"Can we not shut the fucking blinds! Shit! There is an invalid in here trying to recuperate!"  
I heard a chuckle. Em.  
"Invalid, huh. Feel that bad, E?"  
"Nah, not really, Em." I tried, tried being the operative word, to run my hand through my hair but the damn IV's where in my way yet again. "Fucking. Shit." I mumbled in exasperation. "I can't do a damn thing for myself at all."  
Emmett laughed again at the frustration I was facing at my current situation. "Invalid here, remember?" I pointed to myself. He chuckled again, but suddenly stopped and began straightening himself up, as the door opened and a nurse walked in. Nurse Hale. Oh, the fun times my palm (Emmett's palm, and fuck, probably even my dad's) and I shared with fantasies about her when I was younger.  
Emmett and I got our first look at her when we were freshmen and she was a senior. Not only was she sex on legs, one of the most sexy, voluptuous, bodies I've ever had the pleasure to see in real life. She was a star in many of my adolescent dreams, but she was a fucking genius. Rosalie Hale graduated as valedictorian of Forks High School and was able to finish college in under three years to become a nurse.  
She had all the right curves, in all the right places, nice large firm breasts that honestly I would have loved to fuck as much as her pussy. Rosalie's ass, that was a work of art and it seemed to scream, "Look at me. Look at me." Now, don't get me wrong, no one truly holds a candle to my Bella, but that body is built for sin, that long blond hair and deep sea blue eyes, and her fuck hot brain, she was every school boy's fantasy come to life.  
"So, how are you feeling today Edward?" she asked me as she began to check my vitals. I had to pull myself away from re-living some of my most memorable wet dreams.  
"Well, not so bad now with the view." Emmett and Rosalie seemed to shoot me the stink eye at the exact same time. That was weird. I cleared my throat. "I'd feel a whole hell of a lot fucking better once my girl, Bella, gets here. She'll do a superb job of nursing me back to health."  
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Emmett shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  
"Your vitals look good." She examined the bandage on my leg. "How would you rank your pain on a scale of one to ten?"  
"Um, a four while I'm sitting still. If I move any at all, it's fucking infinity, ten doesn't even come close." Really, the pain wasn't too bad at all. I'm the man. I can handle it, but damn, I love the way my body feels when I take the morphine.  
"Since you are still experiencing so much pain, Dr. Cullen, I mean your dad, will probably keep you on the morphine machine at least through today to help you manage the pain. Just push the button when you think you can't handle the pain. As you know, the machine limits the amount you have at one time." She finished by shooting saline in my IV to clean out the line.  
"Your dad will be in here later to check on you. He's on his rounds right now." As she headed out the door, I was almost certain I saw her wink, yes fucking wink that beautiful baby blue eye at Emmett.  
"Dude, aren't you a lucky son of a bitch. What the hell is Rosalie Hale doing winking at your sorry ass?" I smirked at him.  
"E, how much of the morphine have you been taking?" He laughed at me. "There's no reason at all that she even knows I exist, man." Em, being my twin and all; well, he can't hide shit from me without me knowing, and he is hiding something from me. I know he'll tell me when he's ready.  
"Em, as much as I just love looking at your mug, where's Bella? Did she go home to change or eat breakfast or something while I slept?" Emmett looked at me with pain in his eyes.  
"Dude, don't you remember? Mom and dad said they told you."  
"Told me what, Em? That she went back to Arizona. I remember them telling me that, but I have no doubt they were just blowing smoke trying to placate me until she could get here. I'm sure Charlie was up her ass about what had happened to me. She had to have been here while I was knocked out from the juice over there," I jerked my head to the direction of the drip.  
Emmett got up and walked next to me. "Edward, man," he looked nervous. Emmett never looked nervous. He placed his hand on my arm. "I'm sorry, E. Shit. They didn't lie to you. Bella is gone. The Chief put her on the red eye last night to Phoenix. I'm sorry."  
"Why are all you fuckers lying to me!" I screamed at Emmett at the top of my lungs. "She. Did. Not. Leave. ME!" I grabbed him by the shirt with both hands and started shaking him. "You are my fucking twin for Christ's sake. You are a part of me. How could you lie to me like this! You of all people I expected better of!"  
"Edward, calm the fuck down now, man! I told you the truth. She's gone and she's not coming back."  
"I can't look at you right now, you lying sack of shit!" I saw the breakfast tray sitting on the table next to my bed and threw it across the room where it slammed into the wall. "Get the hell out and don't come back until you can be fucking honest with me, bro!" I was seeing red from the rage burning throughout every fiber of my being.  
Emmett was just standing in front of me with his eyes bugging out from his head. "Get the fuck out, liar. You are no brother of mine." The finality of my voice brought Emmett to his senses and he opened the door to leave. He looked over his shoulder before he was out of the room.  
"I'm sorry you are hurting, E, but don't take this shit out on me. None of this is my fucking fault." With that, he left and I was left seething on the inside. I jerked the phone off the table and dialed Bella's number again. After 5 rings, I got to hear her voice, but it was the damn voicemail greeting again.  
"Bella, baby, you need to call me or come up to the hospital and see me fucking now. Everyone keeps telling me that you are gone. I know you're not! Call me. Love you, baby. I love you so much, baby." BEEP. Fucking voicemail.  
I dialed another number. "Forks Police Department. This is Chief Swan. how can I help you?"  
"Chief, it's Edward, Edward Cullen. I've been trying to get a hold of Bella and she hasn't returned my calls. My family keeps giving me the run around."  
"Edward," Charlie answered with anger. "What exactly has your family told you?"  
"That she's back in Arizona with her mom."  
"Then your family isn't giving you the run around. She got to Arizona early this morning."  
"Can you give me a number that I can reach her at? Her cell isn't working."  
"No, Edward, I won't. You are not good enough for my daughter. You are nothing, nothing. Do you understand me? You've done nothing but hurt my family. That will never happen again." The next thing I knew I was listening to a dial tone.  
"No!" I roared as the phone met the same fate as my breakfast. If Bella was in Arizona, that's where I was going. I pulled myself up out of bed ignoring the blistering pain in my leg. As I started ripping the tubes from my arms, dad came storming through the door.  
"Edward, what the hell are you doing, son?" As he took in the state of my room and my IV's, he shouted out the door, "Nurse Hale, I need help in here. Now!"  
"Edward, you have to get back in bed. You are going to re-injure your knee!" He tried to force me into the bed and I fought him for all I was worth. "Edward, please calm down. I'm going to have to sedate you again."  
"No, dad, you can't force me. I'm going to Arizona. I've got to be with Bella!"  
"Son, you are not going to Arizona."  
"I'm 18 dad. You can't stop me!"  
"You need to stop and listen to me now!" Dad used both of his hands to force me to look him dead on in the face. "Bella doesn't want you there. She told me to tell you that it's over. She doesn't want to see you again. Son, I hate to hurt you like this but she says doesn't love you anymore."  
With those last words from my dad, I finally stopped struggling against him. It was like I suddenly had ice water thrown on me. I couldn't have stopped the tears that began to pour out of my eyes, even if I'd wanted to, as I muttered, "She... Bella, doesn't want me?"  
"No, not anymore," his voice sounded almost as weak as I felt.  
"Why!" I sobbed, as grabbed on tight to my father for support.  
"She said you weren't good enough for her. She shot you, Edward. That should tell you a lot about how she really feels about you. I'm so, so, very sorry she's done this to you." He stroked his hands through my hair and I gazed at him through the wall of tears clouding my vision.  
"I am good enough for her. She's everything to me, everything. I love her with everything I am. I don't know who I am without her. I am good enough."  
"We need to get you back in bed so I can look at your leg and make sure you didn't cause any additional damage. Let us help you up son." I hadn't even noticed fuck hot Rosalie and two orderlies had entered my room. I simply nodded at my dad who motioned for them to come over.  
The orderlies helped me back into my bed. I grimaced when my dad began to check my leg. "Nurse Hale, I'm going to need to restitch part of this incision site. Can you please go get me all the supplies we will need? I will also need you to redo the IV lines and morphine pump line."  
"Yes, sir. I'll be right back." As she walked through the door, Alice and Jasper arrived. Were they holding hands? First, Rose and Em, now Jaz and Ally? These morphine hallucinations are bordering on being fucking absurd. Dad noticed the new arrivals at the same time I did.  
"Alice, Jasper. We've got to work on Edward for a bit."  
"Oh my God, Edward are you OK? What happened?" I knew it wouldn't take long before our Lil  
Pixie was freaking out. Damn, we need to get her a man so she will stay the hell out of everyone else's business. Before I could come up with an answer, dad chimed in.  
"Alice, it's not a concern. He just didn't wait for someone to help him to the restroom. He'll be fixed up in no time at all." She eyed dad and me curiously, it's almost like she's got a sixth sense about things.  
"But, dad..."  
"Mary Alice Cullen, he is fine." Jasper snickered from either hearing Alice's whole name or dad's exasperated tone with her.  
"Ouch, darlin'!" I saw Jasper rubbing where Alice must have hit him. "Don't hit so hard."  
"I won't," she looked at Jasper angelically, but for those of us who know and love Alice, we know to look at her eyes to see if her almost devilish glint is present. Oh, she is pissed. Jasper better watch his fucking back.  
Rosalie made her way back with her arms filled with supplies to repair the damage my temper tantrum caused.  
"Let's get you fixed up son." As dad readied preparations to fix my leg, he looked back towards the door. "I don't think Edward is going to be up to visitors for a while. You can wait down the hall and check back later."  
"We definitely will, Carlisle. See you later, Edward." Jasper placed his hand on Alice's back to usher her out of my room. He stopped, looked over his shoulder at me and silently mouthed, "We will talk soon." The silence of his words were more powerful than if he'd spoken them. Fucking awesome. I winced suddenly with the thought that I have thoroughly pissed off everyone who cares about me.  
Dad misconstrued my mental anguish since he stopped what he was doing to ask me, "Do you need something for the pain son?" I shook my head no. I needed to feel the pain each time the needle and thread pierced my skin.  
I don't know how long I laid there while my leg was stitched back together. It could have been minutes or hours, before dad and Rosalie were done.  
"Thank you for your help, Nurse Hale."  
"Certainly, Dr. Cullen. Do you need anything else before I go?"  
"No, thanks again." She nodded at dad and that fine ass of her's swayed seductively as she strolled out the door.  
Dad tossed his gloves in the hazardous waste container and sat down next to me.  
"I know you are in a lot of pain." He was waiting for an answer and I just didn't know what he wanted me to say. "Okay son, you are so stubborn. We all love you. Let us know if you need anything at all." He patted me on the arm and left.  
As soon as I saw the door shut, I mumble to myself, "Not everyone that I love, loves me."  
I was almost nestled into a perfect position on my pillows and was about to take a hit of kick ass morphine, when my door opened again. Jasper. I knew immediately why he was here. Jaz has always been one cool, relaxed mother fucker. He can usually calm down absolutely anybody with his "mystical" gift of chillax. Right now, the only gift I want is the opiate that is eying me through its mechanical home.  
"Hey man, how are you feeling?" He settled into the chair beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him. Fuuuccccckkkkk. He's making himself right at home. I simply shrugged and closed my eyes willing my best friend to go away. "You're not in the mood to talk huh? Seems you had plenty to say to Emmett when he was here earlier."  
My eyes popped open and instantly recoiled from his not too subtle accusation. I was getting ready to sit up when he bristled, "You don't have to do that on my account. I've got a few things to say and I want you to listen and listen good. If you actually feel the urge to say something, you can talk when I'm finished. Got it?"  
I merely shrugged my shoulders and braced myself.  
"Imagine my surprise when Emmett calls me first thing this morning and he's beyond upset. I thought something had happened to you in the night, that caused him to be inconsolable. That wasn't it though, was it? You brought your brother to tears for the way that you treated him this morning. Do you have any idea how much you hurt him by everything that you said to him. Do you have a fucking clue?"  
"Jaz, man…" I had finally found my voice only to have Mr. Chillax stop me.  
"You shut the fuck up until I'm finished talking to you." In all the years that I'd known Jasper, he'd never spoken to anyone that way. In my head, I knew that I deserved everything that he was getting ready to dish out to me. But with my already broken heart, I didn't know if I could face much more from the people who allegedly "cared about me".  
"I'm going to be honest with you Edward, because I love you like you are my own flesh and blood. You fucked up! Bella fucked up! You and Bella together was beyond fucked up lately. All you were doing was making each other miserable and making those of us around you miserable as well. Do you have any idea what this has been like for those of us who were watching you self-destruct, when we could merely watch from the sidelines looking in? You said that you loved Bella and she said that she loved you, but I just don't get it. People who love each other don't do this shit to one another. It's a constant battle of one upmanship of who can hurt the other to get even. We are all sick of it, bro, just sick. What were you thinking when you took that gun to Bella's? You could have died! She could have died! As much as I hate to say this, her being gone is probably the best thing for both of you, so you can pull your heads out of your asses and straighten the fuck up already." He finally paused long enough to take a breath.  
"You have anything that you want to say, E?"  
"Jaz, I know I fucked up and how bad I fucked up, but man, it's like I can't breathe without Bella here. Jesus-fucking-Christ, I never evermeant to hurt her. She's it for me. Will always be it for me. I would get down on my knees. Kiss the ground that she walked on, if I could just hold her one more time and tell her, that I'm so so sorry for being such a selfish bastard. I just don't know how I can face today or tomorrow or any part of my future without Bella. She's all that I've ever imagined to have with me. She's barely been gone and I miss her. I miss her so fucking much." I sagged deeply into the bed and could feel moisture in my eyes and I honestly didn't give a fuck. My life as I'd known it, was over. I'd fucked myself and Bella over and now. I gulped deeply and tried to swallow.  
"E, I know it sucks. Can you blame her for leaving you though? For saying that she doesn't love you anymore? This has been such a long time coming. I don't know how everyone could see it, but you two. It was like you always had blinders on or something. We all know you are hurting, but you can't treat people like shit when they are just trying to help you get better, not just physically, but emotionally as well. We are here for you, all of us, Ally, me, your parents, even Em still wants to help you through this. You can survive it."  
"Survive it. Really, Jaz? She's my fucking sun. I can't see clearly without her. This loneliness and heartache is like a fire inside me and I can't even fathom a way to put it out." I practically sobbed the last words out.  
"E, I know we've all said some things that may have been hard on you, but we want you better. We will help you get better." I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my arm.  
"I've stayed here long enough. Your dad will kick my ass if he catches me in here with you, since you are supposed to be resting." He got up and headed to the door. "Anytime, man, I mean it. Call me, text me, whatever." He glanced at his watch. "Bye, bro, I've got to get Ally so we can get ready for our date to night. Talk to you tomorrow, if not before." He headed out the door and before I realized what he had just told me.  
Evidently, I am now hearing things as well as seeing weird shit from this pain medicine. No way Alice would ever go out with Jasper's ass. I pushed the button of pleasure and almost immediately felt the world around me begin to disappear.  
They didn't understand. None of them would ever understand. Without Bella, I'm nothing. Nothing. Finally the nothingness embraced me with its darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

BPOV  
I step off the plane and sigh. Oh, how I don't want to be in Arizona.  
I am standing at the luggage claim area of the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I jump, startled, and see that it is Phil.  
"Hello, Bella. It's so good to see you again."  
"Hi. Thanks for coming to pick me up, Phil."  
"It's no problem at all. Your mom would have come, but she was putting the finishing touches on your room. We are just about done settling into the new house."  
"I still can't believe that mom won the Powerball."  
"You know, the only two things she wanted was a new house, and to pay for your college education. Everything else is still the same."  
As I look out the window in the car, I think about all the people I left behind in Forks.  
I know this is what Charlie thought was best for me, but if I didn't miss my mom so much, I would really hate coming back here.  
As we pull up the driveway to the house on Biltmore Estate, I saw Renee standing in the front yard.  
I didn't even wait for Phil to park the car, jumping out, and running to my mom.  
"Mommy!" I choke out, in the most God-awful cry.  
I knock her down, and she embraces me, only as a mother could.  
"My baby girl."  
I'm sobbing so hard, you can clearly tell I am mourning my breakup with Edward.  
"Mm-mm-mom, he doesn't wa-want me anymore! Edward doesn't love me," I choke out.  
"Shh, Shh, Shh. It will be alright, Bella. You'll see."  
After a few minutes, and I control my crying, I look up at the HUGE house.  
"Mom. Your house is crazy big!"  
"Let's get up so I can give you a tour, and get you settled in. I want to take you to the mall and get you some new clothes, and take you to dinner."  
"I don't know, mom. I'm not really up to it, and I hate shopping."  
"Nonsense. You need some new cute clothes. You only have big bulky clothes, because of the weather in Forks and you need to eat a little something. We'll go grab some things and come straight back home."  
My mom takes me into the house, and gives me a tour of the house.  
To the left of the foyer, is a beautiful dark mahogany staircase. Inside and out of the house, is a gorgeous cream color, with the interior filled with dark browns and golds. There are also beautiful gold pillars throughout the house.  
Downstairs, is Phil's "Man Cave," where there is a billiard table and a bar. Very manly.  
There's also a living room that has an almost round, circular-type sofa, and french doors that lead out into the backyard.  
The kitchen is very modest looking, with a small dining room table. Across from the kitchen, is a gorgeous almost all-gold formal dining room.  
There is a family room, where a movie is playing. It's with that girl from "Legally Blonde" and some British guy that reminds me of an older Edward. He is HOT! God, I miss Edward.  
As I glance out the back window, and I see a pool and spa. So glad, since it will give me something to do.  
I make my way upstairs, and get to my room. It has burgundy curtains and a matching comforter, along with a sofa across from the bed.  
Definitely not Forks, but this will only be my home for awhile.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I open my eyes and see nothing but black. I'm in utter complete darkness.  
How do I go on living without Edward?  
He is the only reason to wake up in the morning, and the only reason to sleep at night. So I can wake up to another day, and be with the one that I love.  
I've been at my mom's house for a week now, and it feels like it's been months.  
When I first got to Arizona, my mom tried to get me to go out, to take my mind off of things.  
We went to a restaurant for some mushroom ravioli, and to do some shopping, but I really wasn't up to it.  
I did see a new age bookstore on the way in, so I told Renee I had to use the restroom, and snuck out to buy some candles to use later.  
Every second I'm away from Edward feels like an eternity.  
I keep playing different scenarios in my mind, of how Edward tells me it's been a mistake. That he doesn't blame me for his shooting, and that he still loves me.  
I woke up the last four nights screaming, "EDWARD! Don't leave me Edward!" or "EDWARD! Please, I'm sorry, I love you!"  
Renee thought I was going to crack, and have to admit me into a mental health facility.  
I don't want to eat, I can't sleep, and all I want to do is find away back home, back to Edward.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I hear a knock on the door. "Sweetie, do you want some dinner?"  
"No."  
"Bella, you have to eat something. This isn't healthy. You just cry. You can't sleep, you're not eating, and you don't want to come out of this room. I don't know what to do for you. Tell me Bella, how can I help you?"  
"I'm okay, mom."  
"You aren't okay, Bella. My sweet, sweet girl. It will get better over time. You are young, bright, and so full of life. You need to live it."  
My eyes well up with tears. "Mom, It hurts so bad. My heart hurts. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. He promised we would be together, forever, and he broke my heart."  
"He's nothing but a liar! Why is he doing this to me? I just- I just want to love him."  
My mom walks to my bed and sits next to me. She wraps her arms around me, and says, "My darling girl. Edward is your first love. Everyone hurts the most with their first love. I promise you, it will get better."  
"Life isn't over, Bella. Just, life as you knew it... it will be different. It's time for you to take your own life in a new direction."  
"You need to keep yourself busy, keep living. As time goes on, it will hurt less and less. Just be strong."  
Renee stands up and walks out the door and right before it closes, she whispers, "I love you, and I'm sorry you're in so much pain."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I get out of bed to get my backpack, and see a picture of me and Edward. We are laying in bed. We look so happy together.  
I threw the frame against the wall, and shout, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?"  
"I made it easy for you to love me! There were times when you lied, and I let it go. There were times when I cried and you didn't know. There were nights that I knew you were not alone, but I still waited for you, until you came home. And in the morning I still loved you like the day before!"  
"The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you."  
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?"  
I walked over to the desk, and toss all of the contents from the top of it. Papers strewn all over the room.  
I cried so hard, it hurts my chest. I. CAN'T. BREATHE.  
Softly, I whisper, "You promised me forever! How could you just turn your back on me? Like I never meant anything to you?"  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I lay in bed, staring at the wall in the dark for hours, until I glance at the alarm clock. 11:48pm. It's almost Saturday!  
I walk to the chair sitting next to the french door, and pull out my candle holder. I read in a book somewhere, that if you light certain colored candles on specific days, that they hold special powers.  
Black- Brings upheaval and change. Makes a lover come back to you. Burn at Midnight on Saturday.  
Pink- For romance. Brings new love into your life. Light Tuesday night.  
Yellow- To bring true love and commitment. Burn on Wednesday, because it signifies tradition and stability.  
Blue- Makes a lover faithful to you, and it influences relationships. Burn on Monday.  
Red- Ignites passion and pumps new excitement into your sex life. Burn Sunday, but can be used any day.  
I open my book, light the black candle, and say, "Love of my life, come to me! You are the one I truly desire! My heart burns with love for you! The path to me is free and clear for you to come to me!"  
I know of people this has worked for, so I figure why not try it? I'm beyond desperate. I would do absolutely anything to get Edward back in my life.  
I start sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe I am getting delirious from lack of sleep or food. Who knows. All I know is, I need Edward. I NEED Edward. I need him. I can't live without him. I don't want to even try.  
I crawl to my bed and lay across it, and begin saying a little prayer. "God, Please keep Edward safe and help him find his love for me, that I know is in his heart. No matter how far he is from me, no matter how long it takes him, through distance and time, I'll be waiting. If I had one wish, it would be for Edward and I to find our way back to each other. Amen."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I'm standing in front of my house. I see Edward lying on the ground, twitching uncontrollably.  
I run to him and blood is pooling around his head. His eyes stare blankly back at me.  
I shake him frantically. "Edward, you have to be okay! I love you! I LOVE YOU! You can't leave me... EDWARD! NOOOOO!"  
"How could you do this to me Bella? I thought you loved me?" He croaked out, as blood gurgled from his mouth.  
His complexion grey as a rainy Fork's sky.  
"Agggggghhhhhhh!"  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I open my eyes, shaking and crying. My throat is sore and dry.  
My mom is sitting next to me, holding her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing with me.  
"Bella? You had another nightmare. Are you okay?"  
"Oh mom, what did I do?" I gasped so hard, it hurt to swallow.  
"I love Edward, and I swear I never meant to hurt him. When he hurts, I hurt."  
"I know, honey."  
"I feel so all alone now. I've lost Edward and Alice. She won't return my calls or my texts. I've lost my boyfriend and best friend. My life is over."  
"Stop it, Bella. Your life is far from over. You have me, Phil, and Charlie, who love you very much. We are all here for you. You just have to deal with Edward not wanting to be with you anymore, and find a way to move on, to live your life."  
"I can't... I don't... How am I... I can't even comprehend that mom!"  
"I'm so sorry, Bella. It's what Edward wanted. HE wanted to end things."  
"I need to talk to him. I need him to understand that I am sorry for the shooting, and that he is wrong for wanting me to go away."  
"I didn't even get to say goodbye to him."  
CHPOV  
"Cullen. Swan here. I need to speak to about something. You got a minute?"  
"Sure, Chief. What can I do for you?"  
"What would you say, if we got a restraining order out on the kids, to make sure they stay away from each other? Bella is due back home in a week."  
"I understand our desire to keep our children away from one another, but do you think that is a wise decision?"  
"Bella wants to see Edward to talk and try to work things out. I can't have her in the same room with him." I heard Carlisle sigh heavily.  
"Edward wants the same thing. They have to stay as far away from each other as possible."  
"We don't really have to file the papers. I have a friend down at the courthouse that owes me a favor. I can have her stamp the documents, to make them look authentic. No one will know the difference."  
"Listen Carlisle, I just want to make sure that our kids stay away from each other. This is a way we can guarantee that."  
"Very well, Charlie. Let's move forward and proceed."  
"Great! I will stop by the courthouse in the morning and get all the paperwork taken care of."  
BPOV  
I managed to sleep a few restless hours.  
I need to talk to Edward. I need to plead my case. I need him to understand that I'm so sorry for shooting him. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!  
I need him to know how much I love him, and that I promise not to cheat, nag, or tell him what he can and can't do anymore. He can be his own man, as long as he knows that I love him.  
What about our future together? We are both supposed to move to California. He's going to USC with Emmett on his football scholarship, and I am going to FIDM, Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. We will be EXACTLY 2.44 miles from each other. Only 6 minutes away from each other. That we can handle.  
Alice will be joining me the following year. She'll be going into Merchandising Product Development, and I am studying Visual Communications. We eventually want to have our own line, and open up a store together.  
That's it. I can't take it anymore!  
I've come to the conclusion, that I am either going to steal Phil's car or hitchhike back to Forks, to see Edward. I am that desperate. I need Edward.  
What's the worst that can happen? He refuses to see me, right?  
I look at the clock. 3:46am...  
I tip-toe down the hall, until I hit the top of the stairs. I slowly make my way down the steps.  
I walk into the kitchen and grab Phil's car keys off of the key hook, and head toward the garage.  
As I slowly turn the knob to the right, I hear, "What do you think you're doing?"  
Oh shit... I got caught!  
RPOV  
"Isabella Marie Swan! Are you trying to steal my car?"  
"No. Not your car. Phil 's car."  
"And that is supposed to make it okay? What are you thinking?"  
Bella is standing in front of me, with a sad look of desperation.  
"I'm thinking, I need to go make things right between me and Edward. No matter what it takes."  
"Go upstairs, and go back to your room. I'm going to go call Charlie."  
"Mom, come on! Do you really have to go and call dad? It's 4am!"  
"I'm afraid so. Go try and get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning."  
I walk into the family room and sit down on the couch, to call Charlie.  
"Hello, Charlie? It's Renee."  
"Renee? What time is it? Is it Bella? What's wrong?"  
"I'm sorry for calling so early, Charlie. It's 4am. We just caught Bella trying to steal Phil's car. She wants to go see Edward and talk to him."  
"She was trying to do what? Renee, you have to explain to Bella that Edward put out a restraining order out on her. She can't contact him. No contact, at all."  
BPOV  
Thank God there is a cordless phone in my room. My cell phone is broken, thanks to me getting angry and breaking it.  
*Automated Service* "Thank you for calling Forks Community Hospital. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1. For Appointment Center, please press 1. For Admitting, please press 2. For Pharmacy please press 3. For Nurse's Station, please press 4. All other services, please press 5. To speak to an Operator, please press 0, or stay on the line, and one will be connected to you shortly."  
"We're sorry. Admissions Desk is now closed. Our hours are 7:00am to 11:00pm. Please call again during normal business hours."  
Oh that's great. Maybe I can call the nurse's station?  
"Nurse's station. Nurse Hale speaking, how may I help you?"  
"Hello. Edward Cullen's room, please?"  
"May I ask whom is calling?"  
"His girlfriend, Bella Swan."  
"I'm sorry. I am unable to connect you to his room."  
"Please? I really need to speak to him. Can't you tell me anything?"  
"I'm sorry. Dr. Cullen gave specific instructions, that under no circumstances, is anyone allowed to give you any kind of information."  
"I- I just want to know if he is alright," I say, trying hold hold back my tears.  
"The patient is in stable condition. That is all I will say. Goodbye," she said in harsh tone.  
Dial tone...  
ESMEPOV  
I'm walking towards Carlisle's office to have lunch with him. It is something we have done every week day since his residency.  
I already visited Edward, and he truly misses Bella.  
I feel so bad for him. I could not even imagine if Carlisle and I were not together.  
I know it's just young love.  
But, I am his mother. I need him to be safe, and I do not think that Edward and Bella's relationship is a healthy functioning one.  
Now don't get me wrong, I know my son. I know how he treated Bella. I'm not naïve.  
I just hoped Edward would grow up, and realize that he cannot treat women that way.  
His father and I did not raise him to treat women poorly. He should be ashamed of himself.  
How would he like it if his father treated me in such a manner?  
I think he and I need to have a serious talk, about the way he treats not only Bella, but other girls at his school.  
I am still upset at Bella, for shooting Edward. I understand she knows how to shoot, and it was "an accident."  
But, she could have seriously hurt my baby boy!  
I forgive her for the accident, but it took me a few days to get over my anger that I had taken out on the Swans before Bella left for Phoenix.  
I get to Carlisle's office, and knock on the door.  
"Come in."  
"Hello, dear. I brought you a chicken salad sandwich. I hope that is alright?"  
"That's fine. I have something I need to discuss with you. I didn't get a chance to tell you this morning, because I had early morning rounds."  
"Alright. Let's have it," I say. I know by the look on his face, this is not going to be pleasant.  
"Charlie called me late last night. He said that Bella has put a restraining order out on Edward. He can't contact her in any way."  
"Carlisle, isn't that a little drastic? This will cause Edward so much more pain. First she shoots him, says she doesn't love him, and now she's bringing the law into this? It's absurd!"  
"Esme, Bella will be home in another week. Edward will be discharged and back home. Look at what happened the last time they were together. As much as we may hate this for our son, it's probably for the best right now."  
"Edward already seems so broken. How much more can he take before he's destroyed beyond repair?"  
"We will all have to do the best we can to help him find a way to deal with this."  
RPOV  
I really don't know what to do. I'm not going to send Bella home early, but I don't want to punish her either.  
She's in love. I get that. But I truly believe that Bella needs something to distract her. She needs to focus on other things.  
I know she will take this whole restraining order, badly.  
I knock on Bella's door at 10am.  
"Bella, honey, are you awake?"  
"Yeah, mom. And before you start lecturing me, can I say that I'm sorry and I know I messed up?"  
"Oh Bella. I know that you know better. I don't need to scold you like a child."  
"It's just that I really need for Edward to understand how sorry I am."  
"I know, honey. Listen, how about we grab a bite to eat and go get you a new cell phone. We can also grab a new laptop and whatever else you might need for school. How does that sound? I know you've really enjoyed doing graphic design this year."  
"Are you sure, mom? It kind of sounds like you are rewarding me, instead of punishing me."  
"Bella, you know what you did was wrong, and that is the end of it. I want to buy my daughter some new things with my prize money. That is all I'm doing. Now go get dressed."  
Bella heads into the bathroom to shower, and I go into my room, and sit on the bed.  
I have a confession...  
I had every intention of buying these things for Bella, but I am going to have to go to the extreme.  
How am I going to be able to tell Bella, that Edward put out a restraining order out on her?  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
"Okay, Bella. Let's go get your iPhone first. And while we're at it, let's get you an iPod too."  
"Oh mom, that would be great! Thanks!"  
I walked up to a salesclerk, and told him that we wanted the newest model of the iPod, iPhone, Mac laptop, and an iPad.  
Apparently, that is the iPhone 4 and 4th generation iPod Touch. Both with pink cases, and I bought Bella 20 one hundred dollar Beatles limited edition itunes gift cards.  
I figure that should keep her busy, and if she needs more, I can mail her a set of gift cards again, whenever she needs them.  
With all the accessories, protection plans, and everything else under the blue moon, The total comes to about fifteen thousand dollars. At least she won't have to worry about that stuff, when she goes to college.  
"Mom, I can't let you spend that kind of money on me. That is an insane amount of money!"  
"Bella, I'm happy to do this for you. I am finally able to buy you things you'll need for school."  
Next, we go into Photomark. It's a camera store, and I know Bella would love to get a new camera and all the accessories to go along with it.  
Bella picks out a Nikon camera. I want her to have the top of the line, so I get her the Nikon D3x. It's an eight thousand dollar camera. She'll also need a camera bag, various lenses, as well as Adobe Creative Suite.  
Once we get done shopping, we stop and get lunch. I know it's now or never in telling Bella about the restraining order.  
"Bella. I have something I need to tell you. When I talked to your dad, he told me some news."  
"I know this is going to be hard to hear, but let me just tell you what it means for you."  
"Oh no, mom. I don't know if I can handle more bad news," Bella said, with a terrified look on her face.  
"Charlie said that Edward filed a restraining order out on you, and that you can't be 200 feet near him. You are forbidden to contact him in any way."  
"What? No! How could he do this to me? I need to talk to Edward!"  
"Bella, calm down. Everything will be fine. When you get back to Forks, you can't go near Edward. You can't call, text, email or write to him. Your dad is enrolling you into school on the Reservation. You'll have to finish out your school year there."  
"Charlie said he's going to talk to the school's Superintendent, and see if you can still walk with your class at the end of the year."  
"Mom. I can't believe this! Edward is blowing things way out of proportion! I get to go back home, and not go near Edward? I'll die!"  
"I'm sorry sweetie. I wish there was something I could do."


	7. Chapter 7

JPOV  
That was tough. I wondered if Edward would even think about everything everyone who loves him and Bella have been through, because of their inconsiderate actions. I know I was tough on him, borderline being a dick. I needed to tell him how I felt. Sometimes friendship isn't all about partying and hanging out. True friends tell it like it is, even if it hurts. As I walked through the florescent corridor getting closer and closer to the waiting room, my thoughts became less about my friend and more about my girl, or at least after tonight it would be official and Alice would finally be mine.  
I have had feelings for Alice for almost as long as I can remember. All she had ever seen me as, was her brothers' best friend. She has always assumed that I was a player like Edward and Emmett. I've only slept with one girl, Charlotte, a foreign exchange student from London. She kept throwing herself at me and one night at a party, I gave in. When I saw Alice the next day, I felt guilty as hell. I was still in shock from having her soft sweet lips touch mine for the first time, when Alice told Emmett and I that something had gone very wrong at Bella's yesterday.  
We were all terrified, especially Alice, since she had been the first to find out about the shooting. I did my best to calm her down and tell her everything would be OK, even though we weren't sure at the time. I held her close to me with one arm, while caressing her hands with my free hand. Even though I was scared, seeing Ally in tears and hysterics tore at my heart in ways I had never experienced before. What I needed in that moment didn't matter at all. What did matter was taking care of Alice. That just solidified for me that she is the one, the only one, that I will ever want.  
All the while we were waiting for news on Edward, I never left Alice's side for a minute. I made sure that she had something to eat if she was hungry. I made sure that she had a hand to hold when she needed one. When we finally got the news that Edward was alright, I took Alice home. She asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep. I didn't go home through. I bunked down in Em's room in case she needed something, since her parents and Emmett had decided to spend the night at the hospital. Esme and Carlisle wanted Emmett to come home too, but he said that as long as his twin was there, he was there. I checked on Alice throughout the night and she was so angelic while she was sleeping. I just wanted to crawl into bed with her and hug her close to me and never let her go, but I knew in my heart that I could never do something like that to her without her saying she was okay with it.  
Since I often stayed over with the guys, I kept a few clothes at their place in case I needed them. I woke early the next day, took a shower and decided to make Ally her favorite, Mickey Mouse waffles. I followed the directions on the mix, heated and prepped the Mickey Mouse-shaped waffle iron and made a huge stack of her favorite breakfast treat.  
When she ambled into the kitchen and saw me, her sleep-filled eyes registered with surprise.  
"What are you doing here?" She was so adorable in her pink Disney Princess PJ's and matching slippers. Her incredible dark brown hair was sticking up in every direction possible. She had never been more devastatingly beautiful to me than she was in that moment.  
"I didn't want you to be alone, so I stayed and slept in Emmett's room last night." She looked shocked, yet pleased.  
"Thanks, Jasper. Thank you for being there for me yesterday, too. I couldn't have made it through everything that happened and stayed sane without you." She looked at me shyly through her lashes.  
"You're welcome, Ally."  
"What is that smell? That isn't..." Her radiant smile was contagious and I smiled back at her and showed her the platter of waffles. Her eyes lit up with excitement and she started bouncing up and down and clapping her hands.  
"I made you breakfast." She walked over and sat down on the barstool at the counter, while I prepared a plate for her. I poured her a big glass of strawberry milk, then fixed my own plate, while she began eating. I sat down on the stool next to her.  
"I can't believe you did this for me," she said between bites. "These are really, really good. Thank you." She leaned in and kissed me gently on the cheek and continued with her breakfast. I reached up and touched my cheek, where I could still feel the warmth of her silken lips.  
"Any time, Alice. I enjoy doing things for you." She looked back at me and smiled another dazzling smile and my heart skipped a beat. "Um, Alice..." Damn, this so wasn't the right time for this. My best friend, her brother is in the hospital, but I couldn't help myself but ask now. "I would really, really like to take you out on a date. Would you please do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to dinner this evening? Maybe we could go to a movie. What do you think?"  
"You want to go out on a date, with me? Why?" She looked startled by my question.  
"I like you, more than a friend, like you. I want to spend as much time with you that you will let me. If that's what you want?" I was so nervous I could feel my brow beginning to sweat. I didn't know what I would do if she said no to me.  
She reached her hand over and placed it gently on my knee that I didn't notice was knocking like crazy against the side of the counter and made my day complete when she said, "I like you too Jaz, probably more than I should. I would love to go out with you."  
"That's great! I'm so glad." I smiled back at her. "After breakfast, I can drive us to the hospital so we can visit Edward."  
After we finished eating, Alice began trying to clean up the dishes.  
"No, Alice, I've got these. Go get ready, so you can see your brother." I began rinsing the plates and pans to put them in the dishwasher, when a small hand touched my cheek. I sighed and leaned into her touch.  
"This morning, breakfast, just being here, it means a lot to me, Jaz."  
"There is no where else I'd rather be." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek softly and she grinned at me and went upstairs.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Alice jumped up when she saw me enter the waiting room.  
"How did it go?" She knew how worried I was about how my conversation with Edward would turn out.  
"It wasn't pleasant, but hopefully he will realize that together he and Bella were toxic, not just to each other, but to all of us who were stuck in the middle." Alice made a scrunched up face that I loved to call the "stink face."  
"As much as I love them both, I am so tired of their drama, drama, drama."  
"Alice, trust me when I say we all are. Are you ready to go home? I think I heard that you've got some big plans for the evening. Should I be jealous?" I teased.  
"Jaz, you should be very, very jealous. I've got a date with a sweet, handsome guy who cooked me my favorite breakfast this morning. Then, he did the dishes when he was done. That's going to be hard to top." She grinned at me and her eyes were full of such joy, that it would be contagious to anyone around her.  
"Wow! I guess I've got my work cut out for me." I reached my hand out to her. "Shall we?"  
"Let's. I've got tons to do, to be ready for tonight." When her hand met mine, my heart stuttered and I could feel such warmth spreading from my heart to the tips of my fingers and toes. As she laced her small fingers with mine, I knew I was exactly where I belonged.  
APOV  
I felt like I was watching myself in a dream. I was going out with Jasper tonight! Oh my God! I could die now and die happy. (Well, maybe after my date.) It was all I could do to not jump up and down while I was sitting in the car seat, as he was driving me home from the hospital. This was a moment that I have waited for, well.. forever it seemed.  
I looked over at Jasper and he was smiling as much as I was. He must have seen me from the corner of his eye. He smiled at me even bigger, grabbed my hand and then he kissed my palm. I shivered, not from being cold, but the excitement from that gesture set my heart racing and I was so wet, I was praying that I wasn't leaking onto his car seat.  
"Are you cold, Ally? I can turn up the heat?" He looked so concerned. He really does care about me.  
"No, I'm fine. I'm not cold at all." As he set my hand back on the seat, he didn't let it go. He ever so slowly entwined each finger of his hand with mine. God, I want him to touch me in other places, not just my hands. If he can make me wet just by kissing my palm, I could only imagine the pleasure he could bring me if those lips touched other parts of my body.  
The drive home was over in a flash. As he stopped the car in my driveway, Jasper got out and came around to open my door for me. He reached his hand to help me out of the car and kept it firmly in his grasp as he walked me to the door.  
"Thanks for driving me, Jaz."  
"Sure, Alice. It was definitely my pleasure," he said as he grasped both of my hands.  
"I'm really looking forward to our date tonight." I beamed at him and he reached his hand and delicately stroked my cheek.  
"Me, too." He leaned in and kissed me. On my forehead. What? So not what I expected. He squeezed both of my hands. "I'll see you at 7." I nodded and watched him get in the car. He waved at me as he drove away.  
As I entered the house, I leaned against the door trying to calm my nerves. He is just so damn sweet and considerate. When he kissed my palm, I was hoping he would pull over to the side of the road, so I could rip his clothes off that hot, sexy body of his. I snickered to myself, there was always tonight for clothes ripping.  
I went upstairs to my bathroom and poured my jasmine vanilla bubble bath into the tub for a luxurious bath. I was wound up like a top and needed to relax.  
I stripped and tested the water. I sighed as the delightful warmth and bubbles enveloped every part of my body. I reached for my loofa and body wash and before I knew it, I was imagining Jasper's hands on my body and how they would make me feel. I close my eyes and see Jaz before me. I have never wanted anyone else. I have always wanted Jasper. A fool could see how much I adore him.  
I put the loofa aside and moved my hands to my breasts. I could feel Jasper as he would first gently massage each breast, before moving to my erect nipples that would be calling out for his attention. I squeezed and pinched first the right one, then the left and could feel the tingles forming in the pit of my stomach. Jasper would kiss each nipple gently and rub his tongue in circles around my areola and back to my nipple. His teeth would bite each breast, inciting pleasure-filled pain, that would leave me wanting those teeth and tongue on every square inch of my body. He would breathe his warm delicious breath on my nipples, leaving my entire body aching for more.  
My hand went lower and brushed against my drenched folds and my thumb quickly began working my clit. It wasn't enough to ease the burning ache within me.  
As my thumbed frantically circled my clit, I inserted two fingers into my pussy. Jasper's fingers would deftly work my body into a lustful frenzy. My body was so wound up and I needed release, so I moved my fingers faster and faster wishing that they were Jaz's long fingers piercing my flesh. I could see his beautiful blue eyes gaze a me with adoration, as he took in my body and it craved him and only him. I want him above me, filling me completely. His fingers would know exactly how and where to touch me. Sweat began to form on my brow and my body was so overheated, I was surprised the water wasn't boiling around me. My thumb, swirling on my clit just a little faster and a little harder, my fingers tweaking and twisting my nipples with one hand, while I curled my fingers inside me with the other hand. My fingers penetrated me hard and fast as the water and bubbles clung to my body. "Jasper, ooh, Jasper! Unf, YES!" The tingles started at the tips of my toes, went up my legs and I felt the clinching begin in my core and take a death grip on my fingers, as my orgasm rocked my body causing me to thrash around so much, that water began spilling over the side of the tub.  
Well, that took the edge off, but I wish it had been someone else to take the edge off for me. I finished washing my body and I could feel every nerve ending singing, as I toweled the water from my body. I massaged my jasmine vanilla lotion on my arms and my legs.  
Now it was the time for the most difficult decision of the evening. What would I wear? I had to be absolutely perfect. As I looked through my closet, I knew pants were out. I wanted easy access available to certain parts of my body and my pants just wouldn't allow that. My eyes caught on the perfect outfit. I'm such a girly girl and everyone knows that pink is my thing. I decided to wear my pink satin blouse with puff sleeves and pair it with my black tulle skirt. The shoes were my favorites, my pink Dior's peep toed heels with black stitching and adorable black bow.  
Peep toe shoes mean nail polish. I sat down on the bed and painted first my toe nails and then my fingernails with my "I think in pink" O.P.I. nail polish. While the nail polish was drying, I laid down on the bed and ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, it was 6:15!  
I went to my vanity, turned on the lighted mirror and began to apply my make-up. I used my shimmering powder all over my face. I applied my satin eye shadow and used my black kohl Hello Kitty eyeliner. Yes, I love all things animated and if they are animated and pink, I'm in total heaven.  
I turned on my flat iron and when it hit the magical 410 degrees, I carefully straightened my hair. I put a dab of hair conditioner in my hand and massaged it throughout my hair. Since my hair loves to go in every possible direction when ever it wants in the overly wet environment of Forks, the conditioner helps keep my hair straight and in place. After I got dressed, I topped my pink blouse with my black cascade bib necklace. I adorned my wrist with my awesome black onyx beaded bracelet that Emmett and Edward got me for Christmas. The last piece of my ensemble was my pink chalcedony and marcasite sterling silver ring. I looked in the mirror, "You look damn hot, if I do say so myself." I giggled and reached for my MAC pink lip gloss and applied it to my lips.  
I glanced at the clock. It was almost 7. As I began to make my way downstairs, the doorbell rang. "He's here! He's here!" I almost chanted to myself.  
The sight as I opened the door took my breath away. Jasper was wearing a bright smile, his best pair of Levis, his boots, a light gray dress shirt, a dark gray dress jacket and a skinny pink tie.  
Pink!  
"Hello, Jasper. Please come in." I ushered him through the door.  
"It would be my pleasure, Alice. You look stunning. Absolutely gorgeous."  
"Thanks, you look quite handsome yourself." I gently lifted the pink tie and grinned broadly at him.  
He pulled a hand from behind his back. In it was the oddest collection of flowers that I'd ever seen. He's wearing a pink tie. Where's my pink bouquet? If it wasn't the dead of winter, I would have thought he stopped along side the road and picked them.  
"These are for you." As he handed me the bouquet he must have noticed my reaction to them. "Don't you like flowers?" His smile began to slip a little.  
I shook my head. "Of course I do! Thanks so much. Let's go to the kitchen so I can put them in water."  
He followed me and watched, as I filled a vase with water and began to arrange the flowers. He was studying me as I moved each and every flower around. There was just no way around it. They didn't match, at all.  
"Allow me," he said as he worked on the arrangement. "Ally, I've known you for years. It is so easy to know how you feel about things. Can I tell you why I got you these flowers?"  
"I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful. I'm not. They are a um ... unique combination," I told him nervously. I didn't want to ruin our big night before it even began.  
"Come sit with me for a minute." Jasper gripped my hand and the vase of flowers and led me to the counter where we had breakfast this morning. We both each sat on a barstool and he placed the flowers between us, still keeping my small hand tucked firmly in his.  
"There is a reason these flowers are unique. Each flower tells a story and I want to share those stories with you, OK?" I nodded and butterflies began to flutter wildly in my stomach.  
He took a deep breath and began, "These small white flowers scattered throughout are Baby's Breath. They mean happiness. You are always so happy, that it is contagious to those around you." He glanced at the flower then at me and the butterflies turned into a herd of elephants in my stomach. He continued, "You made me happier than I've ever been when you agreed to go out with me tonight."  
"These white flowers are Camellias. They mean adorable and, Ally, you are so incredibly adorable to me. You are adorable in your wide assortment of Disney PJ's and your fascination with all things pink." He laughed and tugged at his tie. "I also knew you would think this was adorable."  
I gently touched the hem of my shirt and laughed with him. "Yes, we do match," I told him.  
"These small purple flowers are Forget Me Nots, for memories and faithful love." He stopped and swallowed hard.  
"Jaz..." I stroked his cheek.  
"Alice, I have so many incredible memories of you. My head and my heart are filled with them and are yearning to make more with you. This, well, it may be too soon for you to hear, but Alice, I have loved you... been utterly in love with you, for years."  
"You, you love me?" He nodded at me. "Jasper..." I whispered but he put his finger to my lips to silence me.  
"Let me get through this, Alice. Please," I shook my head. "These flowers, um, the red ones are also Camellias for a flame. You're a flame in my heart. You make me feel things I've never imagined. Your 'flames' make my heart sing. These maroon and white flowers are Variegated Tulips for your beautiful eyes. When those gorgeous eyes look at me, I can see you and me, together."  
He rubbed his thumb soothingly across the back of my hand. "These strange looking blue flowers," I raised my eyebrows at him. "Yes, Alice, I admit they a very strange but their message to you is 'I think of you.' You are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep." My heart was beating so unbelievably fast. After all this time waiting for him and on our first date, he's admitting that he feels the same way about me that I do about him.  
"Okay, um, there are two more. These small bluish purple ones are Prim Roses that signify young love and I can't live without you. And I've waited for the right moment, because I can't live without you in my life anymore. Before you, my life was dark and empty. You're the sun that makes me shine. When you're around, I'm always laughing. I want to be able to say that you're mine, as much as I'm yours." He stopped to take a calming breath. "The last white flower is Jasmine." I guess the shock registered on my face because he smiled and nodded his head.  
"I can't believe you know what scent I wear."  
"Alice, I know almost everything about you. Every time I smell Jasmine, I smile and wish I was with you, because it smells so much better on you. Jasmine means I attach myself to you. I'm yours, Ally. I always have been and I always will be. My heart and everything I am is yours, forever. I need you in my life, with me, like I need to take my next breath. I want everyone to know how I feel about you. You are it for me. I love you, so very, very, much."  
"OK, that's all," he said. That's all. THAT'S ALL! That is everything! I'm pretty sure with his words and the way his piercing blue eyes were looking at me, that my panties disintegrated from the heat radiating from my core. I was so wet, that I swore I had to be dripping all over mom's immaculate kitchen floor.  
He was staring at me so expectantly, that I could only do one thing. I leaned close to him, and pulled on his tie, to bring his mouth to mine. As soon as our lips touched, we both sighed with contentment. The kiss started so gently that our lips moved together like a symphony, perfectly in sync. Jasper's hands cupped my face as his tongue gently stroked my lips, seeking entrance. Our tongues moved together as we made love with our mouths and my arms found their way around his neck.  
When his teeth gently nipped at my mouth, the fire inside me became a raging inferno. I wanted more. I wanted everything. I groaned as I moved my hands down his chest and his hands moved down my neck, to my shoulders, then his hands grazed the sides of my breasts. Our lips separated from each other. "Oh, Jasper, I love you too. I think I've always loved you." His hands were now at my waist as he kissed my neck right under my ear. He gently sucked and then nipped at my shoulder. I found his nipples through his shirt and pinched gently with my nails, as I kissed his neck. When I pinched him a second time, he moaned and pulled me closer.  
His knee moved between my legs and I began to rub myself against his leg seeking something more. His hands cupped my ass and his erection was against my stomach. Our mouths were attacking each other's ferociously. I wanted more of him, on more of me. One of his hands moved towards my breast but his hand missed its mark. "Oh, yes, Jasper." I could hear the desire in my voice. "Do you want to touch me there?" I asked. "Jasper, Jaz, baby, I'm begging you, please."  
That was the sign he was waiting for. One hand kneaded my ass while the other began to massage my breast. Our mouths couldn't get enough of each other and I don't think I would ever get enough of him. I moved my hands lower and accidentally touched his cock through his jeans and the guttural moan he released, spurred me on. I moved my hands up and began to tug on his shirt as his hand tugged on my nipple.  
When my hands met his bare chest, I wanted to feel more of his skin against mine. I tore his jacket from him and threw it on the counter top and undid his tie and began to unbutton his shirt, peppering small kisses along his neck and chest, and he threw his head back and then began to work his magic on both of my breasts. Once his chest was exposed, I tweaked one of his nipples with my fingers as I used my mouth on the other. First I placed a gentle kiss on his nipple, then I used my teeth and bit and sucked on it. I pulled myself as close as I could get to him. I needed to feel every part of him on me.  
Suddenly, he wasn't in my arms anymore. He was across the room. The disappointment that I felt was unreal. He wanted me, but he didn't want me that way. What did I do wrong?  
"Alice, honey," he said panting trying to get his breath back. "I know what you are thinking. I want you so much, I can't see straight. I think you were able to feel exactly how much I wanted you." I looked down and his cock was still hard and begging for my body, and oh how my pussy was so begging for it.  
"It's OK, Jasper. I love you so, soooo, much. I want to do this. I want to make love to you. I'm ready. I've waited for you. You are the one for me. You are it for me. Please." I began to walk closer to him like a panther stalking its pray. Jasper waved his hands up to stop me.  
"Alice, this is too fast. I want to do this right. The right way." He was buttoning up his shirt as he walked towards me. "I want to make love to you, to become one with you, but I refuse to rush things. You mean far too much to me for me to sleep with you on our first date."  
Wasn't that supposed to be my line? I sighed. "Jasper, it really is what I want. I want you. It will be so good." My inner seductress was in full swing now and I could see it in Jasper's sea blue eyes. He had just tucked his shirt back in and I reached up to put my arms around his neck.  
"Ally, baby, seriously. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Just being in the same room with you, sitting by your side, holding your hand. Those things make me happier than I ever thought was possible. I want to do this slow and easy. I want a relationship with you. I just don't want sex, Alice. Don't get me wrong, when the time is right, we will both know it. I want everything. We are both so young and have plenty of time for all of this."  
He pulled me in for a hug and then moved back, but clasped both of my hands in his. He looked me straight in the eyes with total adoration. "Let's get to really know each other and see who we are and how we are together. I want to woo you. I want to bring you flowers that make you get the little crinkle in your forehead, because they aren't a shade of pink. I want to feel you sigh with happiness, when I take your hand in mine. I want to take long walks with you, cuddle with you when we watch a movie. I want to watch your face light up with excitement when you eat your Mickey Mouse waffles." I couldn't help but giggle at that. I knew this was a battle that I wasn't going to win tonight, but I wasn't giving up.  
"Well, Jasper. Since we aren't going to have sex tonight, I guess we need to get you presentable, so we can go out to that fancy dinner you promised me." His eyes first shocked at my words then he let out the biggest laugh I've ever heard when he took in his appearance.  
"You're right. Let me get put back together and we can go eat. I know you are dying to get your hands on some meat at the restaurant." Oh, a steak was so not the meat I was wanting to get my hands on tonight. I sighed.  
He grabbed his tie and began to put it around his neck. "Here, let me." I lifted up the collars on his shirt, my fingers purposefully grazing the sides of his neck as I moved the tie in place. I felt Jasper shiver and I did a mental fist pum that I was able to get that reaction out of him by just a tiny touch of my fingertips. I ran my hands down from the collar straightening the tie and fingernails ghosting across his chest, as my hands straightened out the length of his tie.  
I grabbed his jacket and helped him into it. He pulled me close for a tight hug. He kissed my forehead, each cheek, both sides of my lips and then finally his mouth was home, on my lips where they were made to be. I didn't even try to take it further like I really wanted, because when Jasper gets his mind on something, come hell or high water, you can't change it.  
Neither of us heard the door open, as we ended the kiss. Our bliss was interrupted with Emmett's thunderous voice.  
"Jasper, what the fuck! What in the hell are you doing with my sister!"


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV  
When I woke up, the pain in my knee was actually almost bearable; the pain in my chest however was another story. I reach for the button of the best invention ever and it is fucking gone! I turn my head and the morphine pump isn't in my room. The pain in my chest intensifies immediately. I can't stand it. I need something, anything to make this shit go away. I grab the call button.  
"Nurse's desk, how may I help you?"  
"I'm in pain dammit! Where the hell is the morphine machine? I need something and I need something now!"  
"Your nurse will be there as soon as possible, Mr. Cullen."  
"She fucking better be!" I close my eyes and try to breathe deeply. I can't stand this. I can feel every part of my body start to shake. I need to calm down. I need to forget... to forget everything. I start to grind my teeth together to fight through this. I grind so hard, that I can feel pain along the length of my jaw.  
I don't know how long I sat there waiting for relief, when fucking sex on legs walks in my door.  
"Where the fuck is the morphine machine, Nurse Hale?" I spat this out between my clinched teeth.  
"Edward, your father had it removed early this morning. He decided to change your medication. " She raises her hand showing me a little white, paper cup. She walks beside the bed, pours me a cup of water, then hands me the pill. "This is a 10 mg Norco. It contains hydrocodone and acetaminophen. You can take one to two pills, every four to six hours as needed, for your pain."  
I turn over the paper cup in my hand, looking at the yellowish pills. "These tiny pills are really going to help me with this fucking pain, Rosalie? I can hardly even breathe, I'm hurting so badly."  
"Yes, Edward." I swear she rolled her eyes at me, but what the fuck do I know? All I can focus on is the pain. I want it to go away and I will do anything and everything to make that pain go away, as soon as I possibly can. I toss the pills in my mouth and she hands me my water. Immediately there is a metallic aftertaste in my mouth.  
"This tastes God fucking awful. How long long until this medicine starts to relieve my pain? I'm fucking hurting something bad and I need relief now, not ten damn years from now."  
She purses her blood red painted lips at me and takes a deep breath before answering me. I will be so glad when I can get the fuck out of this hell hole.  
"It obviously won't work immediately. In 30 minutes to an hour, you should start feeling relief. It will obviously make you groggy and possibly dizzy, so if you need to get up for any reason, please make sure to hit your call button so someone can come help you."  
"Thanks." I close my eyes and hope this little yellow pill is my key to escaping the feelings that are overwhelming me. I wait to hear the door and nothing. I open one eye and see fuck-hawt staring at me. She clears her throat.  
"Your dad and your new Orthopedic doctor, Dr. Zafrina Richardson, will be in to see you in a little while."  
I roll my eyes. "Wonder-fucking-ful. Another asshole to poke and prod on my injured body. Just what I wanted." The sarcasm is pouring off of me in tsunami sized waves.  
"Well, okay, you're just going to be your usual cheerful self today, huh? Just push the button if you actually need something, Edward." I watch as Rosalie and her ultra sexy ass strut out the door. The man who taps that, is one lucky son of a bitch.  
As the door finally closes, I wait for what seems like forever for mellow-yellow to kick in and when it does, hot damn. This is some good shit. Almost as good as the magical morphine. I don't know what I was complaining about before. I can't wait to see how long this lasts. I'm in my body but I'm not in my body. I put my hand in front of my face and I'll be damned if I'm seeing not double, but triple. This is better than my best drunk. Nothing is hurting me right now. The pain that she doesn't want me anymore, is shadowed by the intense punch of the meds. I'm back to my invincible self. Right now, I can survive without Bella. My last thought before Mellow Yellow, my believed friendly pill and number of all types of pain knocked me out with its sledge hammer-like strength was, "This is just what I needed."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
What feels like only seconds later, I'm being very rudely awakened by none other than my father.  
"Edward, son, you need to wake up. Dr. Richardson is here to examine you."  
"What the fuck, dad? Can't you see I'm sleeping here?"  
"Edward, language."  
"Sorry," I mumble back. I'm really not sorry, but what the hell. I'll be nice for once. Yellow still has me feeling pretty mellow at this point.  
"I'm Dr. Richardson, Edward. Your dad brought me in to consult with your case. Do you mind?" She nodded towards my injured knee.  
"Knock yourself out, Doc." I put my hands back behind my head and close my eyes, as I am being subjected to this torture yet again. It is like someone is sticking a fucking serrated knife in my leg and keeps turning and digging it in with the force of a canon ball. She starts to move my leg this way and that. "Fuck!" I yell at her.  
"I've reviewed your scans and x-rays. Edward, it looks like mobility will be OK. Your range of motion is pretty good considering the extent of your injury. In a few days we will want to get you started in physical therapy, because we don't want to have any atrophy occurring in your muscles."  
"How long do you think he will need physical therapy?" Dad asks.  
"Physical therapy is likely to last at least a few months. The important thing is for Edward to allow himself to heal. That is going to take time. If he does too much too fast, he could cause permanent damage."  
"What about football? I'm being recruited by USC as a possible quarterback. They will want to do a physical before they let me sign. I have to be in top form or they won't accept me. We are talking one of the top ranked teams in the BCS!"  
"Only time will tell for sure, Edward. If you follow orders from me and your physical therapist and not push things too far too fast, I don't see a reason why you can't make a full recovery."  
"What about going home? I am so tired of being here. There's no rest for the wicked, ya know?"  
"We will be sending you home with crutches and don't want you to put weight on the leg yet. I will talk to your physical therapist, Felix Walker, to see if we can get you scheduled the day after tomorrow for your assessment and your first session. Dr. Cullen, if we were to send him home tomorrow do you think there would be any problems?"  
"No, I think everything should be fine. He will definitely need pain meds for a while."  
"You prescribed Norcos, right?"  
"Yes, Dr. Richardson. He started those this morning. How are they working for you, son?"  
"Seems to give me quite a bit of relief so far, Dad." It is doing so much more for me than relieving pain from the gunshot, but that shit's between me and the new love of my life Mellow Yellow.  
"Edward, since your dad agrees, I think you can go home tomorrow. I will send instructions with you, but you really don't need them since your dad knows everything I will be going over with you, when you are discharged. Make sure to follow the instructions for taking your pain meds as you need them. There is no reason for you to be hurting when we can do something about it. Do you have any questions for me?"  
"So, I will be able to play right? I have to play football. I can't imagine doing anything else- at all."  
"Edward, there are no guarantees in life at all. Like I told you, from reviewing your records and examining you today, if you follow the guidelines and exercises from your therapist, you should be back on the field in a few months at the latest." I nodded my head at her. "I look forward to seeing it too. I haven't missed one of the Spartans games this season. You are a phenomenal quarterback and USC would definitely be lucky to have you on their team. So kick this injury's ass and get back out there. I would love to see you with a national championship ring some day."  
"I would like nothing better than to make that happen- for both of us, Doc," I grin my crooked smile at her and she smiles back.  
"Take care, Edward. We will do a follow-up in my office in two weeks to see how the physical therapy is working for you."  
"Thank you so much, Dr. Richardson," dad says, and lady Doc leaves my room. "Son, I will leave you to get some more rest. How's the pain?"  
"Not good. All that poking and prodding didn't help things at all." He grabbed my chart and flipped through it. "It looks like you can have more pills now. I will send Nurse Hale in with your next dose." He laid his hand on my arm. "How is everything else, Edward?"  
"It's just there, dad. It's there all the motherfucking time. It hurts so fucking much. I'm trying not to think too much about it because, shit, I don't know how to live without her. I still can't believe that she said she doesn't love me anymore."  
"You were together a long time. You can't get over your first love overnight, Edward. We are all here for you. You know that, right?"  
"I know. I just wish I could talk to her. I've tried and tried to call her and she hasn't answered me. If I could just talk to her, I know I could make her understand. I know I said some shit that I shouldn't have said to her. I know I've done a lot of fucked up things that have hurt her. I've hurt her more than the fucking bullet that tore my leg to hell. I need her to forgive me. I know I can get her to forgive me. We can find a way to make this right. We can get back together. I just know it." I saw dad take a deep breath and really look at me. I know that look and know it well. It is a sign that the worst ever fucking news is about to be sent my way, with the impact of an atomic blast.  
"E, you can't. You can't contact her at all. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to tell you this, but you have to stay away. She's got a restraining order against you, son. That order says no contact of any kind,period." I feel the tightness increase again in my chest and try to breathe through it.  
"Why?" Is that even my fucking voice? There is no way that this is my life because, Jesus, she's my girl. I worship her with everything that I am and she doesn't want me near her. How can this be? She doesn't want me to call her, to be with her at all? This can't be my life.  
"She had bruises all over her arms the day of the shooting, E."  
"She's everything to me, she's everything. She's gotten into my head, my heart. That's where she is going to stay forever. She is a burning in my soul, dad. Did she say that I hurt her? I love her so fucking much. I would never, ever, hurt her." It was hard to remember much of what happened that day. What had I done to her, that could have caused her to put a restraining order on me?  
"The bruises were hand shaped, E. She couldn't have done those to herself. Charlie, well, we were lucky that he didn't try to press charges against you or something, since you hurt his daughter."  
"So, it's over, really over? For good?"  
"Edward, yes, it is. It's over." I don't know what to say. What can I say? She's gone. Fuck my life. I close my eyes tight to try to control the flood of emotions sweeping through my broken body, my broken heart. "Son?"  
"Dad, I can't talk about this fucked up mess known as my life right now. My leg's hurting like hell. Can you please get my medicine for me? Please."  
"I will have her bring it right down." He looks at me with sorrow filled eyes. "Edward..."  
"Not now, OK. I just need something to take the edge off this pain that I'm feeling. That examination hurt like a fucker." He heads out the door and I run my hands through my hair. "Shit fuck. Dammit all to hell!"  
I shift in the bed trying to get comfortable, but I know that the one thing that will really give me comfort, is now forever out of my reach. Just the thought makes my heart clinch excruciatingly in my chest. I can't believe that it's come to this. My love for her began with such promise, and now look at this twisted fucking train wreck known as my life.  
The door opens and here is my newest angel to bless me with her presence. Not my hot nurse, but the paper cup that is filled with my own personal heaven.  
"Here you go, Edward." Rose hands me the key to my much needed escape from life as I know it, and I toss it back with no hesitation at all. "Do you need anything else?"  
"Nah, I'm good. I just need to stop hurting and I need to get some fucking sleep."  
"You know the drill. Hit the call button if you need something." There is that tone that I was waiting for; my dear little nurse is being a bitch- again. I try to make my mind run away from here as fast as I can, but it won't shut down. At. All. Wonder-fucking-ful.  
I wait for my best friend to make me forget this shit filled existence, that is now that only thing that I know. I pull out one of my pillows and cover my face.  
"Bella," I whisper. A single tear falls down my cheek. My heart is in pieces and I know it will never heal and it's my own fucking fault. I've made mistake after mistake. Here I am lying awake and sleepless. So, this is what a heart sounds like when it breaks. There is nothing here to help me find my way. Nothing. Bella was my light, my addiction. Now, I'm left here in the darkness. "Do you think I deserve this, Bella!" I scream into the pillow. "I've done everything I can to make you happy. Since the day I met you, it was always you. I did everything I could to treat you the way you deserved to be treated. You were my heart. It's shattered. You've destroyed it. You've destroyed me."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I'm in the kitchen and my hands are ginormous, beyond huge! I need to cut the cucumbers for the salad. Before I can grab the knife and begin, the timer on the oven goes off. I go to the oven and remove a batch of muffins. As I set them on the counter, I notice that these muffins are perfect, so hot and moist.  
I go back to cut the cucumbers and as I reach for it, it won't move, at all. Odd. I look over and I don't have a cucumber in my hand, it's a fucking unicorn's horn, which is still attached to the unicorn.  
The unicorn looks at me with disgust in its eyes. It steals a muffin off the counter and saunters away.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
"Weirdest fucking dream, ever," I say, as I wake up groggy. And before I can process what the fuck that just meant, I'm asleep again.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I'm awakened from my peaceful getaway with my beloved Mellow Yellow, by my giggling sister. Damn lil pixie!  
"Edward, you're awake! I've got sooooo, sooooo much to tell you!"  
I clicked the control on the bed to raise my head up, so I can at least look like I'm paying attention.  
"What's up, Ally?" Her chipperness never ceases to amaze me.  
"You'd never guess in a million years!"  
"Ally, I'm tired and I'm hurting. Can we hurry this story the fuck up, so I can go back to sleep?"  
"Well, Jasper and I were in the kitchen at home, getting ready to leave for our date..." I have to shake my head.  
"What the fuck did you just say?"  
"Jasper and I went out last night. On. A. Date." She grins wickedly at me. I've never seen her smile so bright. It almost hurts my eyes to look at her, she is so fucking cheerful.  
"You. Jasper. A date. A real date. I don't fucking think so. That shit is so not happening again."  
"You are not my dad, Edward. I can see who I want, when I want. Besides, I love Jasper and he loves me. Oh. My. God. His lips are like..."  
"Whoa, Ally. Way too much fucking information for me. So you two seem to think you are in love, huh?"  
"No seeming, E. While everyone has been here with you, he's been taking care of me. He even made me my favorite breakfast."  
"What! What breakfast? What the hell was he doing at the house at breakfast time? I'm going to rip his damn head off of his shoulders and shove it up his ass!"  
"No, wait, E. Nothing happened, despite all my attempts to the contrary." She blows out an exasperated breath. "He tucked me into bed and slept in Emmett's room you miserable, whining prick. I woke up to the aroma of waffles the next morning. Not just any waffles, but my Mickey Mouse waffles! He brought me flowers and everything before the date..." She is talking so fast it is hard to keep up with what she was saying. My best friend and my sister...I think I may have just vomited in my mouth a little bit.  
"And then while we were kissing, Emmett comes in and gets all pissy, like you are right now. He got in Jasper's face and was going to start some shit. I grabbed a hold of his earlobe and pulled." I flinched. When Alice pulls on your ear, you will wish for death. Death would be easier than Alice's grip on your ears when she's pissed off. She's a tiny thing, but holy shit! That ear tug brings us to our knees every single time!  
"And, when he dropped to the floor, I noticed something on his collar. It was lipstick, E! Bright red; the reddest ever! When I asked him about it, he wouldn't tell me who the girl was. But his face turned as red as the lipstick on his collar! It was fucking priceless!" Alice chuckles into her hands and the door swings open to my dearly beloved twin.  
"Emmett and his girlfriend sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Emmett grabs Alice and puts her in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles through her hair. She slaps his hands away.  
"You ass! You know I don't like to have my hair messed with!" She slaps him again, as she gets up.  
"Lipstick on the collar, huh, Em?" I ask. "Who is the lucky lady that you are porking?"  
"E, man, leave me the hell alone, OK! Yes, there is someone, and it's fucking serious. I've never felt like this before and right now this is mine and hers, and it's no one else's damn business." He glances over his shoulder at Alice, who is enjoying this tirade a little too much. "When and if we want you fuckers to know, we will tell you! Got it?" He pokes his finger in my chest. His face is so red, I could almost see the smoke steaming from his ears. I wonder if his current face color is the same as the lipstick wearing hussy he's shagging.  
"Mother fucker. Keep that damn finger to yourself, or I will rip it off and shove it up your dick! You cocksucker!" I shove his hand away from me.  
"Damn, Em. Calm down already. You know we love to mess with you. If you want to keep it to yourself, we won't pry... much, that is." Alice giggles...again.  
"OK, good. So, E, man, how you feeling? Any idea yet when you are going to blow this joint?"  
"Still in a lot of pain, but Dr. Richardson, the Orthopedic doctor said that I can go home tomorrow. They are going to start me on physical therapy the next day. Oh, that will be Friday. Fun. Fun. Fun...not!" My door swings open, yet again. This is fucking ridiculous! Enough already! People leave me the hell alone.  
"Edward, I'm just going to check your vitals and your bandage real quick and then let you visit with your family." She forces a smile at me, as she prepares to take my temperature. Then, she takes my blood pressure and changes the gauze on my leg. "Everything is looking good. I heard through the grapevine, you get to go home tomorrow."  
"Yes, I am going to soar like an eagle to my house and to my comfy bed, where I will be free from your fondling hands." I wink at her. She shot me a pretty damn good. "go to hell" look and begins to leave. Alice stops her.  
"Rosalie, right?" Ally asks. Rose looks at her and answers back.  
"Yes, that's right."  
"Are you from Forks?"  
"Born and bred here. I can't seem to get away."  
"Forks is funny like that, sometimes." Alice smiles at her. "I really like your lipstick. I wonder if I can pull it off. What shade is that?" This is so our Ally. She's never met a stranger.  
"It's M.A.C., Cockney." I stifle a laugh at that. What an apt name for lipstick "cock"-ney, luscious red lips wrapping around my long cock...uh huh, definitely a HOT name, if I've ever heard one.  
"Oh, I just love it. How long does it last? Does it rub off easily?" Why is Emmett shifting back and forth on his feet and looking mighty damn uncomfortable? He shouldn't give a rat's ass about lipstick durability.  
"It's definitely long-lasting. I can wear it all day and drink a cup of coffee, after cup of coffee, and it stays put."  
"That's pretty impressive! Thanks."  
"You're welcome. Alice, right?"  
"Yes, it's been nice chatting with you, Rosalie. I hope we get to do it again sometime and soon. I think we will be great friends. We can talk about our boyfriends and everything." Rosalie paled.  
"Um, I don't know about that, Alice. I'm a pretty private person." Rosalie leaves abruptly, and Alice comes to my bedside.  
"Well, E, it's been nice chatting with you. We probably should head out so you can chill. Can't wait 'til you are back home tomorrow." She kisses me on the cheek and grabs Emmett's hand. "Come on, Em. Let's go home. I'm sure we will have tons and tons to talk about in the car." She leads him out the door.  
"Later, E," Emmett said.


	9. Chapter 9

EPOV  
Today is my emancipation day. I am finally going home. Mom brings me some sweats to change into since there is no way in hell I can wear my favorite pair of worn button-fly Levi's, if I even wanted to wear them. I am finally free of all the IVs attached to me and I just enjoyed my last hospital dose of my best buddy ever, M.Y. I ride home in Emmett's SUV with him and my dad, so I can have room to stretch my leg out and keep it elevated.  
Mom and Alice are waiting on the front steps of the house, as Dad and Em help me out of the car.  
I work my way to the steps, and Emmett offers me his hand to help me up. Damn crutches are worthless. I still have to make it up the stairs to my bedroom. Shit. I'm sweating like it's summer and it's January in Forks. Not good, not good at all.  
"Edward, welcome home, honey." Mom hugs me awkwardly around the crutches and kisses me on my cheek.  
"Damn, mom, you just saw me before I left the hospital."  
"I know. I am just so glad to have you back where you belong. I fixed your favorite for lunch. Meatloaf with my special glazed sauce, with mashed potatoes and gravy. Let's get you settled in your room and I will bring your food up to you, and then you can get some rest." Mom finally stops to take a breath. It is so easy to see where Alice gets her exuberance from. exuberance. I kiss her on the cheek.  
"Thanks, mom. It is definitely good to be back. I can't wait to sleep in my bed again. I missed being swallowed in comfort from my pillow top." I am ready for that bed to help M.Y. rescue me from my shattered life.  
"Emmett, help Edward up the stairs, please."  
"Mom, I was already going to do that." We make our way very slowly up the staircase with dad behind us just in case. With these crutches, it's like Bella's clumsiness had rubbed off on me.  
God, Bella...I pause on the steps and rub my chest.  
"You okay, E?" Emmett asks. "Can you make it?"  
"Yes, I just needed to rest for a minute."  
When we enter my room, I am filled with mixed emotions. It is not the way that I had left it. My things were missing. Where the photos of Bella and of Bella and I once sat, were now empty spaces that seemed to be mocking me. My shelves are as empty as the space in my body where my heart once resided. I hear my mom clear her throat.  
"Um, we got you a tray so that you can eat while resting in bed and an extra firm pillow for you  
to put under your leg," mom says. I move and sit down on the edge of the bed and close my eyes. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked.  
"Mom, I'm OK, considering..." I shrug and begin to lay back in bed. My mom props the pillows back behind me, to help me get comfortable.  
"Mom, where is all my stuff that was here?" I knew I didn't need to clarify which stuff I was talking about. It was painfully obvious., too obvious.  
"Ally and I thought things might be easier this way for you. We don't want you hurting anymore than you already are." My thoughts are jumbled and conflicted. I know that it will hurt seeing the mementos of all our years together, but I love Bella. I can't just let her go, not yet. I need her like I need my next breath. It doesn't matter how she feels about me. I can't just erase her from my mind like she was never here at all.  
"Please tell me you didn't throw them away. Those are mine to do with what I want." My tone must have been more harsh than I intended, because my mother flinched at my words.  
"Edward, I'm sorry. We didn't do it to hurt you. We just wanted to help. And no, we didn't throw anything away. Alice boxed them up and put them in the attic." I'm relieved. Right now that is all I have left of Bella.  
"Sure, I understand." I'm not happy, but I can see that Mom and Alice are doing what they think is best to protect me and my wounded heart.  
"Are you sure? We can bring them down to you."  
"No, mom, really. You're right. It is probably better this way." She helpeshelps me get my leg arranged on the pillow and tucks the covers around me.  
"Let me go get you something to eat. I'm sure you are ready to get some rest, and you will be able to rest better with a decent meal in your stomach." She gently stroksstrokes my cheek before she leaves my room.  
I close my eyes and don't want to open them again. I want things how they were a few days ago before the shit hit the fan, and I lost the only thing that had ever mattered to me. I hear a rustling sound, and mom is back with my food. I 'm not really hungry, but I know that I need to eat something. She sets up the tray across my lap and places a plate heaping with my favorite food and a big glass of milk.  
"Here you go, sweetie. Enjoy." I dig in while I notice her open my nightstand drawer and removes a small brown bottle, which contains my life preserver. "I put your pain pills here, Edward. Your dad said that you can have some again in another hour or so." She goes to the bathroom and fills a glass with water and sits it beside me. I notice my cell is there as well.  
"Let me know if you need anything else, sweetie. Just call me using your cell and I will be right up." She pats her pant pocket and I notice the bulge of her phone. She kisses me gently on my cheek.  
"Thanks for everything, mom. Lunch looks delicious."  
"You are very welcome my darling boy. Rest well. I love you, Edward." After she leaves the room, I put the plate and glass of milk on my table and move the tray to the floor. I look at the bottle beside me. An hour wouldn't make a difference. I need to feel better and I know that my trusty Mellow Yellow will take all my cares away. I pop the top of the bottle and shake out three pills. "What the hell," I tell myself, as I swallow them back with a large drink of water.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
When I wake up the next morning, I take three more M.Y.'s. I know physical therapy is likely to kick my fucking ass from here to the moon. I have Mmom drive me to my appointment with my therapist, Felix Walker. Dad says he is the best. I know that he won't just have some mediocre guy who can't hack it through med school, take care of me. I'm a fucking star on the football field. Hell, I shine brighter than the fucking sun when I play. I know that it is going to be pure torture, but I am so ready and I know that M.Y. will help me. I need to get my leg better before the USC scout, Aro Blackheart, comes back to talk to me and Em again. I will do whatever it takes to be back to the way I was before the bullet shattered my leg.  
I use my crutches and hobble into the building, and luckily I didn't have to get even more "uncomfortable" in one of the waiting room chairs. Felix is in the waiting room waiting for me.  
"Edward, right?" He askssays as he reaches out to shake hands with me. He is huge, massive even.  
I can see muscles flexing underneath his tightly fitted t-shirt. With his build, it is shocking he isn't on a professional football team somewhere. He is gonna work my ass off, no fucking doubt about it.  
"Yes, man. Good to meet you."  
"You too. You ready to get started?"  
"As ready as I will ever be. How long do you think this session will run today?"  
"At least an hour. Mrs. Cullen, you are welcome to wait here in the waiting room." She looks at her watch.  
"I think I will go next door to visit with my husband for a few minutes. I will be back before your session is over, sweetheart."  
"OK, mom." As she leaves, Felix guides me to an exam room and helpeshelps me up on the table.  
"First, I need to tell you that this is not going to be a walk in the park. Your recovery is going to take a lot of work, and you need to follow instructions and do what we ask you to. We want you to heal the right way, and that is going to take some time, patience and perseverance.  
"Secondly, this is going to hurt like hell. You need to be prepared for that. If something becomes so painful you can't tolerate it, you need to let me know immediately. Yes, this will hurt, but it shouldn't cause so much pain that you are beyond uncomfortable. In the end, the recovery is in your hands, so do what you are supposed to and nothing else. Got it?"  
"I think so. I want to get back on the field and I will do whatever you need me to in order for me to step out on that field at USC, as their freshman starting quarterback." Felix grins and slaps me on the back.  
"That's what I want for you too. You're very talented on the field, Edward. Can you lift your uninjured leg for me? Now, your injured leg, see how high you can raise it, but don't push it." I follow his instructions and motherfucker, this shit is horrendously painful and I'm not even doing anything yet. Come on M.Y. do your thing. I am feeling a little sluggish from the three pills, but the pain is still radiating throughout my leg.  
"Your mobility isn't too bad. It helps that you were in such good shape before the accident. We  
are going to do a few simple exercises today. I'm going to help you get seated in this chair, so  
we can begin." I lean on him for support and sit down.  
"Alright, Edward. Both feet flat on the ground. First, straighten your uninjured leg out in front of you, then back on the ground. Then do the same with your injured leg. I want you to repeat this 6 times. You may not be able to totally straighten out your injured leg, just do your best." I as soon as I start to straighten out my injured leg, pain shoots through me, but I don't care. As a football player, you hurt and you can't let people see you as a fucking sissy. No way I was going to show my monster of a physical therapist, that I can't do a simple task, like lifting my foot off the floor. You've got to be strong and I will do this, pain or no pain. I finish all 6 repetitions and notice that little bit of exertion, causes me to sweat more than if I had run 10 miles.  
"Good, job Edward. I'm impressed that you were able to extend your leg as far as you did." No shit. I'm impressed by myself too, at this point.  
"I bow down to you, the all great and powerful Mellow Yellow," I think to myself.  
"Now, next exercise, both feet flat on the ground lift first one leg, then the other, keeping your knee bent. It will basically be like you are marching sitting down. Repeat this one, six times as well."  
Felix could have been hired by the military to perform torture on our worst enemies. I am covered with a sheen of sweat from head to toe, by the time he puts me through the paces of all the exercises. Then he puts electrodes around my injured leg and uses electricity to stimulate my muscles. This hurts almost as much as the exercises did. This hour seems to drag on for an eternity. When the machine clicks off, Felix appeares at my side to remove the electrodes and helps me to my crutches.  
"You did a superb job today, Edward. You should be very proud. I need you to make sure you do these exercises religiously each and every day. Make sure that as soon as you are finished you ice your leg. I just talked to your mom and she said that you already have ice packs at home, so as soon as you get settled, ice your leg for 20 minutes to reduce inflammation. I've got you scheduled for the same time on Monday. Have a great weekend."  
"Thanks for your help, Felix." I am nearly out of breath, by the time I get to the waiting area to mom.  
"How are you feeling, Edward?" She asks as we make our way outside.  
"I feel like I've been shot in the leg mom." She flinches. "Sorry, it's gonna hurt more before I will feel better, but I'm ready to do whatever it takes. It will be like this never happened to me, mom. I will be whole again before you know it." At least physically I can be whole, even though I was pretty sure that emotionally, the damage will never fade away.  
As soon as we get home, I struggle to make my way to my room. Stairs and crutches definitely don't mix. I grab my pills, glass, and one crutch, and go to my bathroom. I need some rest now, and M.Y. give me that joyfully. I take three pills and go to sleep.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I talk my parents into letting me stay home and do my school work, instead of trying to go to class on campus. It would be too hard to get around. Plus, I don't want the swarm of people who would want to talk to me, ask about what had happened. I'm not stupid. I know that Bella and I are the talk of the town right now. Fucking nosey assholes in this hole-in-the-wall town, can't keep their nose out of business, where it doesn't belong.  
My days followed a pattern. Wake up, take three pills, physical therapy, three pills, lunch, three pills, repeat physical therapy exercises, three pills, dinner, three pills, bedtime, three pills and if I woke up in the middle of the night, for any reason, three more pills. By Tuesday, I noticed that the bottle was nearly empty. The thought of not having my M.Y.'s scared the shit out of me. I looked at the date that I could get a refill and I wasn't due for another one for two more weeks.  
I barely had enough to get me through the rest of today. I need them. I can't make it without them. They help me escape from themy physical and mental pain, that envelopes me at every twist and turn. While I am cocooned in the effects of M.Y., my memories fade. Even if it is only temporary. I have to keep those memories at bay, because otherwise I am just cold and empty without her here with me. I can't take it. I miss her heart, body, and soul. How the fuck am I going to get more Mellow Yellow now?  
As I was shaving my face in the bathroom, my crutch knocked the shaving cream into the sink.  
Then it hit me. I shuffled to my bedside table and picked up my cell and called dad.  
"Hey, Edward, how are you feeling?"  
"Same dad, but I've got a problem. I was in the bathroom taking my pills this morning, and my crutch knocked my bottle of meds into the sink, and all of them went into the fucking drain!" My voice was filled with misery. This had to work. I had to have more of Mellow Yellow.  
"Why doesn't that surprise me, son?" dad laughed. "I'm surprised that you haven't had more problems with your crutches already."  
"Gee, Dad, thanks for your faith in me," I said sarcastically. "You know how I hurt after my physical therapy appointments."  
"I know," he said in a serious tone. "I will get you a refill, Son, and make sure they make a note that the others were lost, so you will be able to get your next refill when it is due."  
"Thanks. I really appreciate it, Dad."  
"I would do anything for you, Edward. You know that. I want you to get better and I know how much your leg is hurting you right now. If these are helping cut down on your pain, I want you to have them."  
True to his word, dad had a new prescription for me when he got to the house from work. "Let's avoid another incident of the sink eating your meds. Why don't you just keep them on your table here. At least if they get knocked over, we will be able to gather them from the floor."  
By the end of the week, Felix thought it would be a good idea for me to walk with the help of a walker. It wasn't a lot of fun, but I was able to do it. He thought I might actually be able to try the treadmill for five or ten minutes next week.  
Everyday was the same, but I was becoming more and more sluggish. But Mellow Yellow helped keep me in check physically and mentally. If I didn't take my pills at the normal time, I noticed that I was a little shaky. That fucking sucked.  
Pills, therapy, meals, pills, and homework, when the urge stuck me, which wasn't often. I continued to do the exercises again in the evening two or three times, even if I had already done them in physical therapy that day. My leg needed to be strong again. A quarterback with weak legs is not an option, at all. I have to be back at 100 percent and soon. I got a letter in the mail two days ago from Mr. Blackheart saying that he wanted to meet with Em and I next month. If I can't walk without a limp, no motherfucking way am I going to be playing college ball. I can't imagine doing anything else other than playing football. I have to seize the day. I will regret it forever if I don't do absolutely everything in my power to overcome this injury.  
The next week, as promised, Felix got me started on the treadmill. I was able to go for ten minutes before he made me stop. I know that I could go for more, but he said no way. He doesn't think I'm ready yet, that it would be too strenuous. He said that the course I'm on right now, I could even start with some light leg weights next week. Em and I have the weight room at home, so once I know what exercises he thinks I need to do, I can do those at home too. I will be better much sooner than anyone thinks. You can take that to the bank.  
Even though I'm slowly getting better physically, my heart is another story. Sometimes at night I dream about her and how things used to be, and I wish the dream would never ends. Her name resounds in my head- constantly. The pain from my physical therapy is the only thing that proves that I'm am real anymore. I focus on the pain with an intensity that I've never known.  
Without Bella, Edward really doesn't exist, does he? I need somebody and right now that somebody is M.Y. Mellow Yellow helps me escape the world where there is always a familiar sting in my heart. I can remember everything when the high from my meds wears off, and I can't stand it. It eats at my insides and I become incredibly raw. When I take the pills, M.Y. takes the pain away, at least for a little while.  
M.Y. is truly my sweetest friend. It's always here for me when the real world threatens to eat me alive. It helps alleviate the horrendous despair that threatens to consume me at every turn. With them, I am someone else, even though I know that the real me is still right here. I barely made it through to the refill with the pills that I had, and dad told me there was no way that I could get a refill for these. He doesn't want me to be addicted to them. Addicted, right... Too late. I can't lose the only thing that is keeping my head above water.  
I formulated a plan to help me get more. Dad has two sets of keys to the hospital. He keeps one locked in the safe and he never gets to them. They are there in case of an emergency. He's never had an emergency come up, but I definitely have one. I must have more Mellow Yellow.  
When mom went to the hospital to meet dad for their daily lunch date, I went to dad's study and removed the keys from the safe. I put them under my mattress and I just have to wait until the right time. I can get around with my crutches OK, and everybody in my family sleeps like the dead.  
The pill room is located in the middle of no wherenowhere. Luckily, the hospital isn't in the 21st century yet, so there are no cameras to document my actions. I may be hurt, but I'm still fast on my feet; no one was going to catch me. It's still winter and I've got my gloves, so no finger prints either. I did some research on the internet, and I know what the bottle could look like. I figure two bottles will be enough, for now. That's 1,000 pills.  
I look at the clock. It's 2:45 in the morning. Not a creature is stirring, all the Cullens are out. I grab my keys off the key rack by the garage, and make my way to the hospital, where the only happiness I now know, awaits me.


	10. Chapter 10

BPOV  
I was still reeling from the fact that Edward had put a restraining order on me. What the hell? It was an accident! There was no reason for that fucking order. He knows that I love him, even though it's all over. It's all over now. I'd been biding my time here in Arizona in my mom's new palatial estate, playing with the new "toys" that she got me, while I waited for my dad to arrange for me to transfer to the Quileute Indian School at the La Push Reservation. I really am enjoying all of the graphic design programs I've been playing with. I've been manipulating photos of Edward in Photoshop constantly. Sometimes I make images of him as a sweet, gentle lover. Sometimes I remember him as the asshole that he was, who with the power of his words, tore me to shreds. Right now, my favorite image of him is the one where I turned him into Rosemary's baby, the son of satan. I thought it was pretty apt considering my soul's status at the moment.  
The Quileute Indian School is usually for Native American students only, but occasionally they accept non-Native students to attend. Since Dad's best friend, Billy Black, is on the board of directors, there was going to be no problem for me to be enrolled. Despite the fact that I hated transferring to a new school the last semester of my senior year, I knew that I didn't have a choice in the matter. Fate took matters into her own hands and left me reeling.  
I knew there was no way I could face Forks High School, even if Edward didn't have the restraining order keeping me away from him. Life as I knew it was gone and I knew that it wasn't all my fault. Edward will never forgive me for shooting him. I've destroyed our future just for proving a point that I wasn't scared of him, when he was trying to bully me. I've done a lot of thinking about everything that happened that horrible day. I can't take all the blame. He was the stupid moronic fucker who brought a gun to my house and told me to kill him. What kind of sick fuck does that? Simple. The sick fuck who will always own me- body, mind, heart and soul.  
So, I would start school on Monday. Mom insisted on buying me a first class ticket for my flight to Seattle from Phoenix. She said that nothing is too good for her little girl. I can't complain anymore about her spending money that she doesn't have, after she won a record $375 million, before taxes, in the Powerball lottery.  
Even though I was going home, I really wasn't going home. I would be living in the on-campus dorms with the other students who attended QIS. To say that I was nervous was an understatement. It would be nice to at least know one person there. I've heard a lot about the campus. Rumors are that it could be one of the best kept educational secrets in the state. The school sits on 40 acres of land and was originally founded in 1930. It started out as a training school for orphans, later to have become a trade school, and is now a full blown middle school and high school for students. The school offers a wide variety of courses, even more than Forks High School does. The athletic teams are some of the best in the state, making it to the playoffs in almost every sport played. The number of state championships under the school's belt are staggering.  
The only part that I was looking forward to, other than the eventual road to graduation, was the yearbook. The current yearbook editor had just moved out-of-state and the adviser was frantically trying to find someone to fill the spot. Billy told the teacher about my qualifications and I was "hired". I was almost excited that I would be able to put my top of the line camera to good use. There was no doubt that QIS's basketball teams would make it to state this year and I would have the chance to take some kick ass slam dunk shots, with the huge fucking lens mom got me.  
I discovered that I love absolutely everything about graphic design. It's amazing. During the day, I can still be by myself, or at least in my own world, temporarily distracting my mind from its well of torment. I love taking a plain image from my camera and taking my pictures to create magazine-like pages that tell their story.  
It was finally time to go back home, to Forks. I packed all my new clothes and techno gear in the new Louis Vuitton luggage set my mom bought me. It cost an insane about of money, but even I had to admit that it was fucking beautiful to look at.  
Mom and Phil drove me to Sky Harbor International Airport early in the morning.  
"Honey, you don't have to go. You can stay here and finish school in Phoenix. We can find you the best school money can buy." She's been trying to get me to stay for good since I stepped off the plane.  
"Mom, I love you and I love you too, Phil, but I need to go back to Forks. It's been my home for years and I can't just leave it for good, not yet anyway."  
"Even after everything..."  
"Mom, I just can't explain it. I have to be there."  
"If you change your mind, we can come and get you anytime, day or night. Okay, sweetie?"  
We checked most of my luggage at the curb, but my new camera and laptop, they were being carried on with me. I was pretty sure I would get the laptop out once electronic devices were permitted and work on some of the photos I had taken of the Arizona desert in the winter.  
Mom and Phil followed me to the security checkpoint. Phil gave me a quick one-armed hug. "Love you, Bella."  
"I love you too, Phil." I looked at mom and she was tearing up. It never failed. She is the queen of water works and I don't mean the property from the Monopoly game.  
"Have a safe trip, my dear sweet, Bella." She hugged me tightly to her and I embraced her just as tight.  
"I will, mom. I love you. Thanks. For everything."  
She kissed me on the cheek. "Anytime, my darling. Call me when you land."  
"I will." I handed the security guard my ID and my ticket. As I looked back through the glass wall and I passed through security, I saw mom wrapped in Phil's arms. She was still crying and he was rubbing her back, comforting her. I had never been jealous of my mom until that moment. I wanted that back. I felt the tears threatening to fall. I quickly composed myself and waved to them and made my way to the gate for my flight.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Dad was actually waiting for me, as I got off the plane in Seattle. One of the perks as being a cop, he could by pass the security checkpoint without a ticket.  
"Hey, Bells." He reached to take the carry-on from me.  
"Hi, dad. I've got it." He looked upset that I wouldn't let him help me. "I've got a lot more bags that we will need to pick up. You can help me carry those."  
I noticed he was looking closely at the bag. "New luggage?"  
"Yep. A whole set. I tried to tell her no, but with my new laptop and camera needing as much protection as possible, I didn't fight her long." I hugged my bag to my chest and dad grinned.  
"Do I even want to know what all your mom bought you while you were visiting her?"  
"Probably not, dad." I smiled at him.  
"How was your trip?" He asked as we finally made our way to baggage claim.  
"Well, dad, it was at least warmer and drier than it is here. I enjoyed seeing the new house. I still can't believe after all these years of playing the lottery that mom hit the big one. I kept telling her I didn't need her to buy me all these things." I held up my laptop bag. "But honestly, dad, I would marry my laptop and camera if it was legal."  
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed your little gifts, because that isn't everything your mom got you." He rolled his eyes. What in the hell did Renee do now?  
"What do you mean?" I asked him cautiously.  
"You'll see soon enough." Charlie harrumphed. "Let's get all your luggage gathered up and we will head to the house. Are all those yours?" He pointed to the luggage on the carousel that matched mine.  
"Yes. Yes, it is." I hid a smile, as I heard dad mumbling something about not needing to spend money just because you have enough to buy a small island in the Caribbean. He put all of the suitcases on a cart and began to wheel it outside.  
I looked at the curb and didn't see the cruiser.  
"Hey, dad. Where's your car?" I heard him mumble something unintelligible and we headed to the parking garage.  
"I didn't drive my damn car to pick you up, OK?"  
"Dad, please tell me you didn't drive the thing all the way to Seattle. Even you have told me not to drive it too long of a distance, since it is older than dinosaurs." The thing was my 1950-something rusted out, faded red, Chevy truck.  
"No, I didn't drive the thing. It's been given its retirement."  
"What?" I nearly screamed at my dad.  
"Your mom bought you one more surprise, Bells. You can't drive it since you aren't allowed to leave campus without a parent checking you out, but you are going to get to drive it home to Forks."  
We stopped beside an absolutely magnificent red convertible.  
"This?" I asked timidly. No fucking way. This car is bad ass. No way Renee bought this for me.  
"Yes." He rolled his eyes. "I tried to talk her out of this, but you know how your mom is once she decides she is going to do something. There is no talking her out of it."  
How I knew that all too well.  
"I know, dad. What is it?" I walked around and gently stroked the sides.  
"It's a 2011 Astin Martin DBS Volante." I didn't really know car names, but Charlie spoke almost reverently about it.  
"Um, it's beautiful. It's really mine?" He opened the truck and put the luggage in, then tossed me the keys.  
"Yes, Bells. It's all yours. This thing has some major power. Try not to get pulled over on the way home."  
I settled myself in the supple leather seats and sighed. It's like the car was hugging my body. "I think I've died and gone to heaven, dad." He looked over at me and shook his head with a grin.  
"It is much more comfortable than the truck. That's for sure."  
I started the engine and it purred.  
Purred!  
Like a kitten. I backed out and began to drive it.  
"Dad, this is a sweet ride!"  
"It definitely is. Your mom even had a garage built to keep it in while you aren't driving it. To, and I quote, 'Keep the new car out of the harsh weather elements of Forks.'"  
I laughed. Dad even used air quotes when he quoted mom.  
"Um, there are a few things your mom wanted me to point out about the car. The seats are heated so when you get too cold, you can warm up more quickly. It has a 6-disc CD changer. She shipped a ton of CDs for you. I've got them in your room." I saw him point at the dash. "She said she bought you a new iPod. That can plug in here and you can use it for your radio, I guess. She mentioned something about a USB connector. I have no idea what that is, but there's one somewhere."  
"Dad, it's the cable that connects devices to..."  
"Bells, you know I don't know a lot about technology." He mumbled again. All I made out this time was mom's name. Dad was funny when he was mad and couldn't win a "fight" with mom. "The most important thing, especially for you and your lack of coordination." He pulled out a box from under the passenger seat. I looked at it as we stopped at a light.  
"A first aid kit? Mom got me a first aid kit for the car?" I shook my head as I chuckled.  
"Well, you do trip over your own feet, even when you are standing still, so this is probably not a bad thing."  
"I know dad. You and mom have told me on more than one occasion that my middle name should have been Grace instead of Marie." He smiled. Then suddenly Charlie's smile wavered.  
"I talked to Billy this morning. Everything is in place. You will start school the day after tomorrow." I swallowed nervously and noticed my hands were beginning to shake a little.  
"That's good. Thanks for taking care of that for me, dad. I know you probably had to call in every favor you had to make this happen."  
"Actually, that was the weird thing. Billy said that when he brought your name up to the board, they immediately said you could attend. You are going to be rooming with Emily. I am not sure how much you remember about her. She's Leah and Seth Clearwater's cousin. She is on the yearbook staff too so you will at least have one class with her." Harry Clearwater was one of dad's fishing buddies and when I was younger we all were often forced to go on the fishing expeditions. I can remember Leah being a little bit of a bitch. I hope her cousin doesn't have the same personality.  
"OK. So, uh, when do I move into the dorms?" This was something that was making me very nervous. Being away from Charlie, from my room, the room where I shared so many special moments with Edward.  
"When we get home tonight, you need to gather up everything that you need from home and we move you in tomorrow morning. That gives you the afternoon to get settled in before class on Monday morning."  
"Sounds good, dad." The rest of our trip was spent mostly in silence. As much as I wanted to ask about Edward and how he was, I knew that dad would likely tell me it was none of my business anymore.  
As I pulled into the driveway, it wasn't the huge garage that rivaled our house that caught my eye. It was the spot. I saw the tree and the missing bark from where the first bullet hit. I put my car in park and put my head against the steering wheel. I felt Charlie's hand rubbing my back.  
"Are you alright, Bells?" Dad asked, his voice full of concern.  
"I don't know. I guess I have to be." I looked over again at the snow-covered ground. I know that by now that the rain and snow washed away the blood that I caused Edward to spill, when I shot him. I couldn't lose it in front of Charlie. Not again. He would ship me out on the next flight to Arizona- for good. I have to be here. This is my home.  
I opened the door grabbed my computer bag and headed inside.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
After I packed everything that I needed for school, I sat down on my bed and looked around the room. Reminders of him were everywhere. I'm not quite sure how to breathe without Edward here. Despite everything, I'm not sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all that we were. I know it's going to take time for me to not need him anymore.  
I walked around the room and all of the reminders of him everywhere. The bed, where we made love and on that day where we fought. My bulletin board was covered with random candid shots of us together through the years. I ran my hand gently over all those reminders of our happier times together. Our first junior high dance. Our junior prom. There is absolutely nothing sexier than Edward in a tux. In the corner of my desk sits a stuffed elephant that he won for me at a carnival. He named it Rosie, because it has rose colored cheeks. I picked it up and went to lay down on my bed. I hugged Rosie tightly to me, as I curled up in bed. I looked at Rosie.  
"Tell me how this is supposed to be, Rosie. How am I supposed to make it to tomorrow and the next day and the next, without him?" At that moment, it was as if Rosie's eyes were actually looking right at me in understanding. Nothing is making it easier or taking my pain away. Not even the hours I spend immersed in front of the computer screen or the camera's viewfinder. "Edward knew how much I loved him and that he was my everything. Despite all the lies he told me, Rosie. I loved him. I still love him. I know I shouldn't be wasting my time thinking about him since he's not thinking about me, but I can't just erase all of those memories from my heart and mind, as much as I know that I need to."  
I got back up and began taking all the pictures down from the wall. Just the thought of them being in my space was an unimaginable torment.  
"I can't believe this is me." I tell myself. I honestly feel as if I am lost in a dream, not a dream, more of a nightmare. Like a coward, Edward left me and didn't even tell me he was leaving. He left it up to our dads! I can't stay this way forever. I'm tired of running away. I have to find a way through this. I have to find myself. Maybe who I am is waiting for me at QIS. I guess I will find out.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Dad loaded everything in the cruiser and we began our trek to La Push. I hadn't been here in years. It had changed a lot. I noticed a small shopping center with a few clothing stores, a music store, a pet store. The other store I saw made me almost happy. It was a Barnes and Noble. I could shop for books in La Push and not have to have Charlie take me to Port Angeles.  
"I can't believe how much it has changed here, Dad."  
"I know, Bells. Every time I make a new trip here, it seems as though another business has opened. They are building a new sporting goods store. I can't wait. I've never liked going to Newton's for my fishing gear." I inwardly cringed when I remembered what I'd done with Mike-Fucking-Newton. I would not go down that road again. Right now the last thing I want is a relationship- with anyone.  
Before I knew it, we had arrived at the school gates. They had a majestic look to them. They were surrounded by stone enormous pillars. At first glance, one would think that the campus was the original from the 1930s, but all of the buildings were immaculate. The first building we past was the brand new multipurpose athletic center, where the QIS Wolves hold all their pep assemblies and the basketball teams play. Next, we passed the three-story brick school building. It didn't look much older than the activity center. In the back of the school, were iron tables and benches. It was obvious it was designed for students to spend time socializing.  
"Wow, Dad. This campus is absolutely amazing."  
"I know, Bells. Unless you know someone from La Push, you would have no idea of how much things have changed around here. Since the Quileutes opened their casinos, they have had tons of money to not only construct new buildings, but to hire some of the best teachers and coaches from across the country."  
"I had no idea that a casino could be so profitable. This campus almost looks like an Ivy League school." I was amazed. This school was unbelievable. It was perfect and this is where I was going to graduate from. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.  
"The tribe said that gambling is the white man's ultimate entertainment." Charlie laughed.  
"I don't know that I would go that far, dad." I laughed too. "Gambling did pay off for mom, even though it wasn't at a casino."  
At last, dad pulled up outside the dorms. There are two, one for boys and one for girls. But these dorms didn't look like any dorms I had ever seen. They looked like luxury condos. Between the two dorms was a plaza-type area that was also designed as a student hangout.  
Charlie and I got out of the car. I grabbed my laptop and camera bag. I saw a man in a wheelchair coming down the ramp to see dad. I recognized him immediately. It was Billy Black, dad's best friend and fishing partner.  
Dad reached out his hand to shake Billy's.  
"It's good to see you."  
"You too, Charlie." Billy looked over at me. "Hi, Bella, how are you? What do you think of the campus so far?"  
"I'm OK, Billy. You're looking good."  
"Well, I'm still dancing," he laughed out.  
"This campus is out of this world. I can't believe this is a middle school and high school campus. It looks more like a college campus."  
"We are very, very proud of our school here. We are also pleased to have you join our 'little' school."  
"Thanks so much for helping me get in, Billy." He glanced at me with a look that I couldn't define.  
"It was no problem, no problem at all. Are you ready to see your room?"  
"Definitely."  
"Emily," Billy said in a bit of a raised voice. "Come on out and meet your new roommate."  
I saw an absolutely beautiful girl with long, silky, dark hair and olive skin walk towards me. She radiated beauty. Wonderful. My roommate would be the most beautiful and likely most conceited girl on campus. Just my luck.  
"Bella, it is so nice to meet you." She ran up to me and shocked me by giving me a huge hug. She then looked at me with a truly genuine smile. "I can't wait to show you around and show you the yearbook classroom. It has a state of the art computer lab with Macs, and we have tons and tons of Nikon cameras to take pictures. You are just going to love it. Come on, let's go see our room." She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.  
If I didn't know any better, I would say that this was Alice's doppelganger. She and Emily are so much alike it's almost scary. What I could see of the lobby of the dorm as we entered, was furnished incredibly, like a five star hotel. Leather couches, a 72-inch screen television, a bank of desktop computers. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before.  
"We are on the top floor in a corner suite." We took the elevator to our floor and she opened the door to our room. I am pretty sure that my mouth hit the floor with a very loud thud. It was designed just like the lobby. "We've got a living area here and a television and a blu-ray player. Billy said that you have your own computer. The entire campus is set up for wireless internet. So no matter where you are, in class or just hanging out, you can use the internet."  
"Come on, let me take you to our room." This was nothing like I expected. This wasn't a dorm room. This was an apartment. "We have separate bedrooms, but we share the bathroom."  
"This is mine?" I asked. The room was beautiful. There was a computer desk next to an entire wall of windows that overlooked the forest behind the campus. The bed was queen-sized and had the most beautiful bedding I had ever seen. It was in various shades of purple. There were even accents of purple throughout the decor scattered in the bookcases and shelves in my room. "This room is just gorgeous. I love it." I sat my laptop bag on the desk and walked in a circle surveying my surroundings. "Are all of the rooms like this?"  
"Well, Charlie told Billy purple was your favorite color and the school's maintenance department put it together for you."  
"Do they do this for all of their students?"  
"Well..." My question seemed to make Emily extremely uncomfortable. She wasn't looking me in the eye like she had been. "No, they don't. The board wanted to do something special for you after what you've been through." I began to wonder if it was really the board who did this or if it was Renee's doing. Either way, the room was magnificent and at this point, I was for whatever it took to make me feel more comfortable. Dad took that time to make his way into my room with my luggage. He was looking around the room with the same look I likely had a few minutes ago.  
"This room is really something, huh, Bells?"  
"It's great, Dad."  
"We all want you to feel at home here, Bella," Emily said.  
"I'm sure it will be fine." I smiled and her and Charlie.  
"Bells, I hate to drop you off and run, but Sam got sick and had to take off for the day, so I need to go into the station." I didn't want to cry in front of Charlie, but I had just gotten back to Washington. I was really going to miss him.  
"That's fine, dad. I totally understand. I need to get unpacked and settled in, and it could take me all day to get things the way I want them." He came and hugged me and kissed me on the head.  
"I love you, Bells. Call me if you need me for anything. I mean anything."  
"I will. Thanks again, Char-, dad. I love you, too." I kissed him on the cheek and he blushed.  
"Talk to you soon, Bells." Dad walked out the door. I looked around and begin making a list in my mind of what I needed to do, when I heard Emily clear her throat.  
"Before you unpack, would you like to go to the student union? I'm supposed to meet some friends there. We can pick up a snack and then maybe we can take a quick tour of the rest of the campus, and I will help you get all your stuff put away when we get back." The look in her eyes was begging me to come along and there was no way that I could tell her no. I've missed having a friend, and I could really see Emily and I being friends. Maybe not as close as Alice and I had been, but...  
"Sure."  
"That's great. Let's go. I can't wait for you to meet them." She was almost jumping up and down with excitement as she led me to the student union.  
As we entered the room, I saw a tall, extremely muscled guy, with short dark hair and dark eyes. He had more muscles than any teenager I had ever seen. He noticed us and smiled. He was gorgeous. I could see his deep dimples from across the room. There was something familiar about him, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.  
"Hey, Emily. It's good to see you."  
"Hey. I'd like you to meet my new roommate, Bel-"  
"Yes, Bella Swan. It's been a long time. I don't know if you remember me or not. I'm Jacob Black."


	11. Chapter 11

BPOV  
"Bella Swan, It's been a long time. I don't know if you remember me or not, I'm Jacob Black."  
"We used to play together when we were 5. We were in Junior High together for a little while, too," he added.  
As I look this handsome stranger in the eyes, I suddenly remember a little long haired boy, playing in the mud. He had such an infectious smile, you couldn't help but be in a happy mood. Any time we were playing together as children and I had one of my many accidents, all it took was the sweet look in his kind, dark eyes and that smile and I instantly forgot about the new injury to my overly clumsy body.  
"Jacob, yeah, I remember. How have you been?" He still had the nicest smile I'd ever seen. Jacob's cute dimples don't hurt much either.  
"I've been good. So, my dad tells me you're going to be with us for the rest of the school year. If you want, I can show you around and introduce you to people."  
"Thanks, Jacob. That would be great." It was nice to at least know someone here. Maybe things were finally starting to look up for me. I still missed him with every breath I took, but maybe Jacob would help distract me from my self-imposed torture.  
I started looking around the student area and noticed that there were people walking by us, pointing and smiling.  
"Uh, Jacob... Why are they looking at me like that?" I always hated to be the center of attention and it was like there was a spot light straight on me shouting "Look at me! Look at me!" I wanted to crawl in a cold dark hole and be by myself.  
"Really, do you have to ask, Bella. Everyone around here thinks you shooting Edward, is badass!"  
"What?" I inwardly cringed. How could people think that horrible accident that caused my heart to shatter into a million pieces was a good thing. "That's just... I have no words, Jacob. It was an accident. I didn't mean to shoot him. I loved him." I could feel the tears threatening to fall. I wished once again that I was a much stronger person who could control her emotions so everybody wouldn't be able to read me like I was an open book or something.  
"We know it was an accident, Bella. Everyone knows how Edward treats people, and they all think he got what was coming to him. Karma can be a bitch and I'm pretty sure that your ex has found that out first hand." Jacob gently rubbed his large hands down my arms trying to comfort me. "I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, Bella. I just wanted you to know the truth of what's up with everyone around here. Keep smiling, Bella. I swear to you that you can always count on me because that is what friends are for." I couldn't have stopped myself from returning the smile that he gave me.  
A student I didn't know smiled and waved as he walked by. "Hi, Bella. Welcome!" he said.  
"Jacob, I don't even know him."  
"I told you, Bella. Around here you're famous. Let me show you more of campus. I know that you are going to love it here." He reached out his hand for mine. I eyed him wearily and those damn dimples of his drew me in. His dark hand was so warm, almost comforting against my small, pale palm. He looked over at Emily who had been leaning against the wall talking with some friends while occasionally glancing over at me to make sure that I was doing OK. "Hey, Em, come on. Let's show Bella here all the ins and outs of the best high school in Washington State." She walked over, her eyes brimming with excitement and eagerness.  
"Oh, Bella, wait until you see our yearbook room. The things you are going to be able to do with our equipment is out of this world!"  
"Sure, I'm ready to see everything. I can't wait to get started."  
"Great, let's go," Jake said. Our first stop was the state of the art journalism room where I met our adviser Erica Williams. She was super cool and thrilled that I had so much experience. The rest of the campus was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. It was so hard for me to believe that this was a high school campus. I had never even seen a college campus that was this incredible, even on the many journalism field trips that I had gone on with Alice.  
Jake looked at his watch and gently squeeze and released my hand. "I hate to cut things short, Bella, but I've got basketball practice in 30 minutes and I need to get changed. Right now we are ranked first in the state in our division."  
"Bella, the team is so great. Just wait until you see all the guys in action. They are undefeated so far," Emily said. "With that kick ass camera of yours, I am beyond sure that this year's basketball pages will be so incredible that it will feel like the players are literally jumping off the pages."  
"It will be fun. I haven't used this camera for action shots yet, it will be interesting to see what pictures I can get," I told them. Jacob gave me a huge bear hug and grinned at Emily.  
"See you both later. Have fun, Bella. If you need me for anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call. Em has my phone number." He winked and began to jog back to the dorms.  
"Bella, I am so glad that you are here. The rest of this year is going to be absolutely amazing," Emily told me.  
"I'm glad that I'm here too. Let's head back to the yearbook room. I've got some really cool ideas that I would love to share with you." Emily was almost bouncing up and down with excitement as I finally began to face the fact that my life as I had known it was officially over. I guess it was time for me to find out who Isabella Marie Swan was … without Edward Cullen.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I was shocked to find that six weeks had gone by and that I was more than enjoying my time here. Emily and Jake were helping to fill the huge hole that had been left in my chest. There were even some days where I actually forgot about him. There were even days when I didn't have one single, solitary thought about him or us at all.  
Usually, when I least expected it, those green eyes would taunt me and tempt me in my dreams. Well, some were incredible dreams that I still wished I could find a way to come true. Edward and I together years from now with a beautiful brown-eyed daughter with her version of Edward's uncontrollable bronze hair. Other times they were nightmares that I wish I could find a way to erase from my memory forever. I can't even think about what happened in those nightmares without shaking or crying. They were so real, so painful. I could always lean on Emily and Jacob. For some reason, it always seemed easier for Emily to cope with me on my bad days. She was always there with a shoulder for me to lean on if I needed it. She told me that sometimes she could see the sorrow in my eyes. On those days she did anything and everything to make that sorrow disappear. She was absolutely one of the most incredible people I ever met. Jacob was always there for me, but if I mentioned Edward's name, his eyes sometimes glazed over in what appeared to be anger. He always told me that I was imagining things. Honestly, Jake and Emily saved me. They also were the only ones who really knew me. I wasn't my own person before I met them. I was part of Edward and Bella. Or the version of me that Edward wanted me to be. It's been incredible for me to find out who I really was and who I was capable of being on my own.  
Jacob was right to be cocky about how great our school's basketball team was. The first game it took me a bit to get the settings on the camera figured out so the action photos were crisp and in focus. Once I got everything set up perfectly and into the groove, my pictures were unbelievably good.  
I would have never in my wildest dreams imagined how many people would eventually see one of my photographs.  
At the final round of the state championship game, we went into overtime against the reigning state champions. There were only ten seconds remaining on the clock when Jacob made it to the basket. My finger was able to capture the moment as Jacob slam dunked the ball for the winning shot into the basket, breaking the backboard into hundreds of pieces. His face was full of determination that this shot was the shot.  
While I was flipping through the photos and saw the best picture that I knew I had ever taken a man tapped me gently on the shoulder.  
"Excuse me, Miss. I'm Everette Lexington from the Seattle Times. You attend QIS, right?"  
"Yes, I do. I'm Bella Swan." I reached out to shake his hand and he handed me his business card.  
"Would you mind letting me look at that picture you were just grinning so widely yet. From a distance it looked a lot better than mine."  
"Sure." I pulled the review menu up on my camera and I knew that my face was full of pride. Not only because my friend had done something amazing and won the game, but because I, Bella Swan, was very proud of something that I had accomplished on my own. I glanced over at his face and his eyes were alight with astonishment.  
"This is one of the most incredible pictures that I have seen. Absolutely incredible how you were able to get every detail of that moment perfectly captured." I could feel myself blushing at his kind words. "Your picture is definitely better than mine. I would love to use this in the paper and we will pay you for using it. If you're interested, that is."  
"Really? I mean, yes! I would love for you to use this in the newspaper!"  
"Fantastic, Bella. My email address is at the bottom of the card. We can't pay you much for the photo, only $25, but you will get your byline listed too." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't care about the money at all, but my photo going into a professional newspaper had me beyond excited.  
"No, that's totally fine, Mr. Lexington. I will head to the dorm and email this to you as soon as I can." We shook hands again and I saw Emily running towards me.  
"Thank you, Bella. Be on the lookout for your photo in the paper tomorrow morning."  
"We won! We won! We won," Emily screamed as she threw her arms around me.  
"I know! I am so proud of Jake! I can't wait to see him to congratulate him," I told her.  
"We should all go out to dinner and celebrate before we head back to campus," Emily said.  
"That would be... Crap, I can't. I've got some amazing news of my own. Check out this picture that I took of Jake." As Emily looked at the photo, her eyes were almost bugging out of her head.  
"Oh. My. God. Bella! That picture! I have no words. It's … It's... WOW!" She giggle and hugged me again. "That is definitely going to be the dominant on our boys basketball page layout. Damn, our boy Jake looks really fine in that photo doesn't he?" She winked at me.  
"You know Jake and I are just friends."  
"Sure. You keep telling yourself that! God, do I love a fine muscled up man covered in a sheen of sweat," Emily sighed dreamily and I smacked her in the arm. "OK. OK. So you said you have news. What's up?"  
"The reporter from the Seattle Times saw my photo and asked if they could use it in tomorrow's paper!" I was bursting with excitement.  
"Bella, I am so proud of you. Your picture is going to be in the sports section of the Times tomorrow! Oh, wait until Jake finds out!" She snort giggled which caused me to laugh until I was almost crying.  
"How right you are, Emily. He's already got a big enough head as it is. Once he finds out he's going to be in the newspaper it's going to get even bigger. I'm going to text Jake and let him know that we are headed back and will see him later tonight. Let's get me professionally published." I packed up all the equipment and Emily and I headed back to my beautiful car. Dad had let me drive it to Seattle for the game and I knew that he and Sam would come by to take my beautiful baby back to its sheltered home at Charlie's house.  
The next morning Emily and I were awakened by a very loud pounding on our dorm door. I moaned as I looked at the clock. It was only 7 in the morning. Emily and I had been up giggling and talking until 4AM, so I was praying whoever it was at the door had a damn good reason to be there. I threw on my robe while grumbling and I saw that Emily had finally wandered from her room as she was wiping the sleep from her eyes.  
"Who is it, Bella?"  
"Obviously someone with a death wish. You better have a..." I started as I opened the door to find Jacob with the most incredible look I've ever seen on his face. He'd had something in his hands and it fell to the ground as he picked me up and enveloped me in an embrace and began spinning us in circles.  
"Bella!" His smile was so big it could probably have been seen from outer space.  
"Jake! Put me down you big lug!" I hit at his chest. "You're making me dizzy! You're like a dog trying to chase its own tail for crying out loud." He and Emily both laughed at me.  
"Sorry, Bella." He released me but his smiled never wavered. "Oh, shit! Where is it? Wait until you see this. It is the most incredible thing EVER!"  
He looked into the hallway and came back with the newspaper and held up the front page of the Seattle Times. "It's me!"  
My mouth hit the floor with a resounding thud as I took in the front page of the paper. Almost the entire front page was my photo. I gently took the paper from Jake and collapsed onto the couch. I rubbed my fingers across my name under the photo and felt tears forming in my eyes.  
Jacob knelt in front of me and Emily came to sit beside me on the couch. Both of their faces were filled with concern.  
"Bella, are you OK?" Emily asked while soothingly patting my arm.  
"I'm sorry, Bella." Jake mumbled as he tried to take the paper away from me. I slapped his hand away.  
"Give me a minute," I told them. "Guys, these are not sad tears. I can't believe that..." My crying picked up. God, I am such a fucking girl. Getting emotional just because my picture was in the paper I chided myself. "My picture is on the front page of the paper. My picture..." My voice trailed off. "This is the happiest that I have been in a long time. Thanks so much for being my friends and sharing this unbelievable moment with me." I leaned my head on Emily's shoulder and Jake came to sit on the other side of me wrapping his arms around me.  
"This is your moment, Bella. You were meant to shine brightly for all to see," Jake said as he kissed me gently on the forehead.  
"I am finally seeing that. God, I've got to call Charlie and tell him." I jumped off the couch to Jake's howling laughter and called my parents to share my wonderful news with them.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Just when I thought that things couldn't get any better, I got a phone call that left me totally speechless. Sports Illustrated had seen my photo and they wanted to use it. Hot Damn! I was going to be published in the best sports magazine in the country. They even paid me for the photo, even though just having my picture and my name in their magazine would be more than I could have ever hoped for.  
I continued work with Emily on the yearbook and as we submitted the last deadline, we felt a huge relief.  
"Emily and Bella, I am so proud of the work you've done on this yearbook. It's definitely going to be the best yet," Ms. Williams, our adviser, told us. "I am definitely going to submit our book to the Columbia Scholastic Press Association for a critique and Crown judging. It wouldn't surprise me if you ladies helped us nail down a Gold Crown."  
"Do you really think so?" Emily asked with awe in her voice. Crown awards were the most sought after yearbook awards by the best high school and college publications throughout the U.S. Only a handful out of hundreds of yearbooks received a Gold Crown each year.  
"Honestly, the two of you are definitely a force to be reckoned with." Ms. Williams hugged us both.  
"Bella, I was waiting until the last deadline was finished to not put more stress on you, but I've got some messages for you."  
"Really, from whom?" I was really confused. There wasn't anyone that I could think of that would leave me a message through my adviser.  
"This almost never happens for students in the field of journalism to be recruited when they are in high school. Two schools have contacted me and have offered you a full scholarship for you to attend." I couldn't find my voice. I was going to get to do what I loved and I was going to be able to do this on my own without any help from Charlie or Reneé.  
"Which schools?" Emily asked before I could even form a more coherent thought.  
"The Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication and the Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Communication. Both schools are interested for you to work on either their newspaper or yearbook in graphic design and photography. They are very impressed by your work."  
"Isn't the only way they've seen my work was the one photo of Jake that was published?" I asked Ms. Williams.  
"Well, I kind of sent them other samples of your work when they asked for them." Ms. Williams was beaming with pride over all the accomplishments that I had been able to make over a short time. "So, Bella, what do you think? Are you going to be a Sun Devil or a Sooner?"  
My mind was spinning. I knew both of these schools and the education that they could offer me would be the absolute best. Now I just needed to decide whether or not I wanted to go to school with my family nearby or if I was ready to go out on my own.  
I couldn't believe how much my life had changed in just a few months. I couldn't believe how I had changed as a person. I was finally Bella. I was myself. Finally, I knew who I really and truly was.


	12. Chapter 12

EPOV  
I never imagined it would be this easy to score more of my beloved Mellow Yellow. Forks Hospital was beyond deserted. I had the bottles tucked neatly into the pockets of my coat. As I was walking down the hallway, I heard a door open and giggling paired with a deep voice that I knew as well as my own. I ducked out of the way as Emmett and that fuck hot nurse Rosalie were adjusting their clothes after exiting a supply closet.  
I watched as the clandestine lovers wrapped around each other for an incredibly passionate kiss. Was it wrong of me to be getting turned on by what I was seeing? Shit, my brother grabbed Rosalie's ass cheeks and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as they headed back to the closet again.  
"Fuck, Rosalie. I can't get enough of you," Emmett said between kisses.  
"Emmett, shut the hell up and fuck me again." It was like they were fucking super glued together or some shit. I saw his hand go under her skirt before they got the closet door shut. A bright red thong. I wouldn't expect anything less of Rosalie. I almost laughed aloud.  
Once they were shut away and fucking like rabbits, I headed out to my car and back to the soothing warmth of my bed. I tossed back my M.Y.'s and closed my eyes with thoughts of hot chocolate-filled eyes and beautiful brown hair.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
She is spread out on my bed like a naked goddess. Without a word her luscious body is calling to me. Her chest is heaving and pert breasts with their hardened nipples are shouting come to me, kiss me, love me. My gaze wanders downward to her toned abs. How I love to kiss that freckle that lies to the right of her stomach causing her to quiver, and her moans to spear me further in my attentions to her. Lower still, to the curly brown hairs that cover her mound, the promise land. I could see her glistening wetness, telling me how much she wanted me, needed me, my touch, my body, my cock.  
I'm so ready for her, to worship her every way imaginable. I walk to the bed and lay down beside her. Without saying a word, she runs her hand through my tousled hair, to the nape of my neck. She sighs in contentment. I begin worship her. I kiss her behind her ear and bite and tug on her earlobe, as my finger tests her center. She twists and gasps as my fingers find her heat. She's so fucking wet, wetter than she has ever been before. I can feel it beginning to drip down the inside of her thighs. My tongue dips into the curve of her shoulder downward towards her collar bone. I give her gentle love nips with my lips, teeth and soothe them with my tongue as my hands move up to cup her breasts. She sighs, as my lips continue their journey to meet my hands.  
"Yes, baby." She pulls me closer and I take full advantage by licking every square inch of her right breast, while my finger tugs forcefully at her left nipple. Her movements beneath me are becoming more frantic. A few times I have brought her to orgasm just by this, by worshiping her breasts with all that I am. "Oh, ooohhh, yes, harder. Bite me...hard!" She screams in my ear as her grip on my head releases, and her small hands find their way to my shoulders where she digs her nails into my skin, no doubt drawing blood, as they scrape and claw at me in her frenzied movements. Her legs are squirming beneath me.  
"Do you like that, baby?" I already know the answer. I know her body better than my own. I own every square inch of this delectable petite body of hers. She knows it.  
"Unf, ungh, oh baby. More, more, please." My hands, teeth, tongue and lips continue to show their utter adoration to her. She thrashes wildly beneath me, as I apply more and more pressure to her beautiful breasts. "Yes. YES. YESSSSSSSSS. Oh, Edward." She pulls my face up to hers and our mouths fight a raging battle of lust. Her hands seek purchase on my ass, as she pulls me. "I need you in me now!"  
"Not yet, baby. You aren't as ready for me as you need to be." She groans brazenly as I place my lips on the freckle. She wiggles her hips as my tongue delves into her belly button and twirls around, my teeth scrape around the outer edge. "I'm going to really kiss you now," I tell her, my voice so husky, I barely recognize it. I move to her hip bone, where I massage her with my hands and my lips. I bite down hard on her hip bone, drawing a little blood. My lips lap up the blood from the bite as my fingers roam down to the curls. I can smell her musky arousal and my mouth waters.  
I insert one finger, then two, into her slick folds. She spreads her slim legs further apart as my lips find their way to her clit. I remove my fingers and place them on her ass and she shudders as my tongue replaces them. I dive deep into her pussy, as I taste the unique flavor that is only Bella. Her juices are literally pouring out from her pussy and dripping onto my tongue into my mouth. I hummed with pleasure as her arousal gushed into me, which caused her to begin to thrust herself against my tongue with almost violent force. My thumb rubs circles and my fingers tug on her swollen clit, while my tongue continues to fuck her. I move my mouth to the engorged nub and bite down hard, as two fingers pierce deeply into her core, curving to hit her g-spot.  
"Holy mother of God. Edward, fuck, yes, yes, yes, ungh, oooohhh." Her back arches off the bed, as her walls pulse almost forcefully around my fingers. I remove my fingers and look at my love. Her body is flushed from head to toe with pleasure. A sheen of sweat covers us both and I am not finished with her yet.  
"Look at me, Bella." She looks as me, as I placed my drenched fingers into my mouth and lick her wetness from them, one by one. She groans, raises up and pulls my face to her. Her kiss consumes me, like a raging forest fire. She nips at my lower lip with her teeth. Then as her tongue invades my mouth, she rubs it across the roof of my mouth. Her tiny hands grab onto my ass as her legs wrap tightly around my waist.  
"I. Need. You. In. Me. Now." She pleads during our hectic kiss. Our tongues are mating madly. Our mouths working together with such power that our teeth are clinking together.  
We both hiss as my cock enters her, and her pussy begins to sheath me with its wetness. I can feel the walls pulsing hard, pulling me deeper and deeper into her with each masterful thrust. She is sucking me in so deep. The only sound in the room is the slapping of heated naked flesh against flesh and our lustful moans. I move my hands to knead her breasts, kneading and tugging, as I continue to penetrate her warmth with my hardness. I add a circling of my hips, as I thrust and she gasps. "Oh, Edward. I'm cumming. Push harder, baby, please, please, please!"  
I can feel the tingling in my balls and I know that I won't last much longer, and I need her to cum with me. I move my hand between our bodies and reach her clit. With one final thrust and a flick of my finger against swollen nub, her walls clasp onto me with a strength I've never felt before, as I am pulled into her womb and my cum shoots deep inside her. After a moment of catching our breath, I collapse on top of her and brush her sweat-drenched hair from her face and kiss her on the forehead.  
"Bella, baby, that was un-fucking-believable."  
"Edward, I love you so much." She kisses me gently and cuddles into my side as I rollover beside her.  
"Promise me, Bella. You belong to me. You will never, ever leave me. You are mine." I pull her so tight against me that she flinches.  
"You know who I belong to. I'm yours. I swear. I will never leave you. You are all I will ever need." She snuggles into me even more and then I hear her breathing level out.  
"You are mine, Bella. You love me. You will always love me."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I jerked awake from my erotic dream and my blankets are soaked with sweat and my cum. It felt so real. She was with me and she still loved me. In my dreams, I don't have to lose her and how she once felt about me. I reach over to the drawer, pull out three Mellow Yellows and swallow them back. I needed her. I needed her like I needed my next breath. I could close my eyes and still see Bella reflected there. She was in my head permanently. There was nothing I could do to wipe her from my memory if I even wanted to. If my dreams were the only way she could be with me, so be it. I would hold on to her with everything that I had in me. I took one more M.Y. and had the Sandman take me back to my one true love.  
The next morning I made my way downstairs for breakfast before physical therapy. I had already taken some M.Y. before I came down. Therapy was just impossible to get through without a little assistance from my beautiful yellow buddy, and no not Sponge Bob, even though when I went back to sleep I swear that I heard his theme song playing while I fucked Bella.  
Emmett stumbled down the stairs as I had finally made myself comfortable in the dining room chair.  
"Hey, Em." All I heard was a little grumble from him. "Did you have a hard night?" I snickered at him. He shrugged. Dumb ass was so fucked out from his while sexcapades with my nurse that he didn't catch my little double entendre.  
"I didn't get much sleep, Edward." He snapped at me. Mom flicked him in the ear as she set a plate of pancakes, eggs and bacon in front of each of us. "Dammit, Mom! That hurt."  
"Don't use that tone of voice with me or your brother. If you aren't getting enough sleep, maybe you should go to bed earlier." The bite of food I had just taken flew across the table and landed on Emmett's face as laughter roared from my mouth.  
"What the fuck, E!" He grabbed the napkin and wiped his face. I couldn't stop laughing.  
"Sorry, Emmett. Just Mom scolding you like you are a little kid or something." I got out between laughs. Emmett picked up a piece of his scrambled eggs and threw it at me. That got him not just an ear flick from Mom, but the dreaded ear flick with a twist. I cringed a little in my seat as I saw him wince.  
"Fu..." Emmett started to say and corrected himself. "Geeze, Mom. You and Ally are so vicious for such small people!"  
"Emmett, just because we are small doesn't mean that we don't know how to make someone who is bigger than us bend to our will," Mom said as Dad walked into the kitchen and grabbed her for a kiss.  
"Oh, Mom, Dad! Take it to your bedroom. That's not the kind of thing that I want to see cooking in the kitchen," Emmett said which earned him a scowl from Mom and a laugh from Dad.  
"Emmett McCarty Cullen! Don't make me flick you again!" He sunk back in his seat with Mom's threat. "Edward, you need to hurry and eat so I can take you to your therapy appointment."  
"Mom, I am more than capable of driving myself there."  
"I'm sure you think you can now. By the end of your therapy session you will be too sore to do much of anything. Plus, I want to have some special time with your father while you are there." She looked Emmett while she said the words and laughed at his reaction.  
"Mom, really, that's WTDMI! Not just too much information, but way too damn much information," Emmett said as he rolled his eyes at her and got up from the table. "E, where's the homework you've got finished that I need to turn in for you." Shit, I had totally forgotten that he was going to take that to school for me today.  
"Emmett, there were a few math problems I was having trouble with. I will finish them after physical therapy and you can take them to school tomorrow for me. It's not like I don't have almost every assignment here already for the rest of the year to keep me busy."  
"Sure, E. Whatever. We all know that the teachers are going to pass you no matter what the hell you do or don't do." That really pissed me off. I got up and got straight in Emmett's face.  
"What the fuck is your problem? I didn't fucking shoot myself in the damn leg."  
"No, but you sure as hell are the one who caused the gun to be somewhere where it could shoot your sorry ass to begin with." He shoved me and I shoved back.  
"Stop it now!" Dad screamed at both of us. "Emmett, you need to apologize to your brother right now."  
"No, Dad. I don't think I do." He stormed off and headed up the stairs and I heard his bedroom door slam shut. I sank back down in the chair and put my face in my hands. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.  
"It's OK, Mom. Let's go ahead and get this show on the road." I ran my hands through my uncontrollable hair and grabbed Mom's hand and kissed the back of it. "I would hate for you to not get as much special time with Dad as you need today." I laughed and my laughter stopped as soon as I'd earned my own ear flick.  
Physical therapy was the same shit, different day. It had been three weeks now since I scored my extra M.Y. I was so glad that I did, because that helped me get through the extra therapy sessions that I did by myself everyday, even the three or four times a week that I had my sessions with Felix. Had I not taken those extra bottles, I would have been out of my M.Y. a long time ago.  
I told the fucker Felix that I could actually run on the treadmill but he said I still wasn't ready yet. What-the-fuck-ever. It's my body and I knew it like the back of my hand. I had no other choice but to push myself to the limit. I wanted to play college football. If I didn't get myself up to where I was before Bella shot me, I would never get my chance. It wasn't very long until Aro Blackheart was coming to check on me in person to see if I had healed.  
As soon as Mom dropped me off after my latest session with Felix, I took 3 more Mellow Yellows and headed downstairs to our home gym. I would show that asshole that my body could make it running on the treadmill. I started the pace at a mile an hour and my leg had a twinge or two but no big deal.  
I slowly kept increasing the pace until I was up to a run. God, it felt so fucking good to finally be doing what I wanted. I closed my eyes and ran. I ran for all I was worth. I was sweating so much that my eyes were burning from all the sweat that had dripped into my eyes. I reached over to get a drink of water and the next thing I knew my elbow had accidentally increased the treadmill's speed. I felt my injured leg hyper extend itself as I flew off the machine. I heard more than one thing snap and even through my Mellow Yellow induced haze I was in horrendous fucking pain.  
"Fuck! Mom!" I laid down on the floor and I looked at my leg. It was in the most horrible position imaginable. "Mom!" I looked up at the treadmill and didn't see my cell phone sitting on the top. It must have fallen off when I was tossed like a damn rag doll to the ground. I looked around me and didn't see it. I tried repeatedly to stand but it just wasn't going to happen unless I had some kind of help. I was exactly like that little old lady that Emmett and I used to laugh at in the commercials for falling and not being able to get up. Fuck my life.  
I thought I heard the door open upstairs. "Mom! Dad! Em! Alice!" I yelled. "I'm in the gym. I need help!"  
I heard him before I saw him. There was my best friend, Jasper. "Edward, what the fuck have you done now?" He shouted at me.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Jasper somehow managed to get me into the car and to the emergency room. As usual, Dad was on duty and he immediately shit a brick when he saw me.  
"Son, what happened to your leg?" He began to examine it and I couldn't contain the scream when he tried to move it around.  
"I was on the treadmill walking. When I reached for my water, my damn elbow increased the speed and before I knew it my ass was on the ground and my leg fucking shaped like a pretzel." I didn't exactly lie to dad. The elbow had sped things up.  
"On a scale from one to ten, how would you rank your pain?" Dad was in full doctor mode now.  
"Dad, ten doesn't come close. How about infinity?" I saw Emmett's main squeeze come into the exam room.  
"Nurse Hale, please administer a dose of morphine. Edward, I'm going to call Dr. Richardson and have her come examine you. I'm going to run an MRI and have x-rays taken. I'm fairly certain she is going to have to perform surgery on your leg. I don't think we should wait to do it. You will likely be in surgery in a few hours. I'll call your mother and let her know what's going on and have her call Alice and Emmett." He left the room to order the tests and I was stuck with the one my brother has been sticking it to.  
"So, Nurse Hale, how long have you been fucking my brother?" I smirked.  
Rosalie was far from gentle when she gave me the shot.  
"What the fuck, Rosalie! You did that on purpose, and you still haven't answered my question."  
She looked at me with her almost violet eyes filled with mock innocence. "I have no idea what the hell you are talking about." She turned on her heels and left.  
The morphine knocked me on my ass pretty fast. The next thing I knew, Mom and Dad were by my side and Dr. Richardson was in the room.  
"Edward, I was just informing your parents that we would be taking you into surgery in about an hour once the OR is prepped. We should have you in and out in two hours tops. Any questions?"  
"When will I be able to get on the football field?" Dr. Richardson looked at Dad then back at me.  
"Only time will tell Edward. Let's get you fixed up first."  
Carlisle POV  
I watched as Dr. Richardson began to operate on Edward's leg. We were in this same operating room not long ago after Edward was shot. The damage from the accident today made the damage from the shooting seem as minor as a splinter. His leg was bad, very bad. His dreams were gone. Edward would never be able to play football again. That much, Zafrina told me after she saw all of the scans of his leg. His fall from the treadmill damaged every tendon and ligament that could be damaged.  
He was always going to walk with some kind of limp. That would break his spirit. Edward was always athletic and outgoing and had always been on the move. He always quick on his feet. He would never be quick on his feet again. He would not be the number one pick for USC's quarterback any longer. Edward had really never looked past playing ball. He had no back up plan in place of what to do after he was no longer able to play football. He was going to be absolutely devastated. I had no idea how to tell him that sports were over for him.  
I was brought out of my revelry by words and sounds and doctor never wants to hear during surgery. My heart was pounding in my ears and I could only make out fragments of what was being said. "Severe respiratory distress." "Blood pressure dropping." "Heartbeat's irregular." "He's coding." "Crash cart now."  
My head snapped up and my eyes filled with tears as I heard the sound of the heart monitor shrieking in its solid tone. He had no heartbeat. Edward's heart had flat lined.


	13. Chapter 13

Carlisle POV  
"Do something now!" I screamed at Dr. Richardson.  
"I am," she shouted back at me. "Nurse Webber, get Dr. Cullen out of here now!"  
I saw Angela headed my direction and could still hear the monitor telling me that right now my son was dead.  
"I'm not leaving!"  
"Dr. Cullen, you will either leave now or I will have security take you out of this hospital and keep you out until they hear differently from me. Leave," Dr. Richardson said through gritted teeth as her hands were working frantically on Edward.  
I could still feel the tears flowing freely as Angela ushered me from the OR towards the waiting room. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, as well. She gently touched me on the arm before heading back to the OR. "I will make sure someone contacts you with information soon, Dr. Cullen. I'm so sorry." She choked back a sobbed and ran towards operating room.  
I felt eyes on my back and turned to see my family. As soon as Esme saw me, she knew. She came up and wrapped me tightly in her arms as she began to cry. "Carlisle, is he..." her voice trailed off as her body began to tremble with fear.  
"They are trying to bring him back to us, Esme. His heart..." It was nearly impossible for me to try to continue. I could see Edward's body laying on the operating table, see the monitor flashing the solid straight line, hear that horrendous sound that indicated the end. I heard Alice and Emmett walking towards us. I knew that it would kill me if I saw the same look in their eyes that I had just seen in my wife's. I held on to my lifeline, Esme, as tight as I could. I fought through the onslaught of my tears. "I don't know what's going to happen. When they kicked me out, Edward was..." Oh, God. How had things come to this? How could I break my family's hearts with what I was about to tell them.  
"Daddy," Alice said in such a timid voice, so unlike the spunky daughter that we've raised. I couldn't find the strength to look her in the eyes. I buried myself further into my wife's arms and with her was able to find the strength to tell them the words none of us would have ever expected to hear.  
"Edward was ... dead when I left the room. They are doing their best to revive him." I heard Alice gasp and begin to waver on her feet as Jasper grabbed her before she collapsed. I heard Emmett punch the wall and saw him drop into a chair and he began to wail. My beloved Esme was weeping uncontrollably. I could feel it in my heart. Things were bad- very, very bad. I wasn't sure if Edward was going to come back to us.  
Something was wrong. There was no reason that he should have gone into respiratory distress. He was a young man and other than the trauma from the shooting, he was in excellent health. What could have brought us to this point? The point where my son's survival was not only in the hands of my colleagues, but in the hands of God.  
Eventually, I was able to move Esme and myself to some chairs but I never let go of her. I don't know how long we waited for news. It seemed like forever even though it had seemed like time had stopped for us.  
I heard a door open and glanced up to see Dr. Richardson walking towards us. She looked as exhausted as I felt. I couldn't find the strength to stand up so I waited until she came to us.  
"We did everything we could and we were able to bring Edward back. He's alive," Dr. Richardson told us. Her tone was not one that I would expect to hear from a doctor who saved her patient though.  
"How long was he down?" I asked her.  
"It took us nearly 10 minutes to get his heart restarted. We have him on a respirator right now and he is in the ICU. The next 48 hours are crucial. We did put him in a medically induced coma to help reduce the stress that his body is going through. Once we wake him up from the coma, we will be able to determine if he suffered any permanent brain damage or not. I was able to finish the work on his leg that could be done. If he pulls through this, like we are all praying he will, he will never be able to play any kind of competitive sport again. The damage is so severe that he will likely have only 60 percent use of his leg. What concerns me most is why a healthy person, like Edward, would suffer such respiratory distress. It could have been a sudden allergy to the morphine or the anesthetic but he has had both before. I ordered a tox screen to check and see if there is something going on that we may have missed. We should have the blood test results first thing in the morning."  
I unwrapped myself from Esme's arms and wrapped both of my hands around Dr. Richardson's. "Thank you so much for bringing him back to us."  
"I did what needed to be done. Any questions, Carlisle?"  
"When can we see him?"  
"Since he is in ICU only two people can be with him at a time. We are still getting him settled. I will have Nurse Hale let you know when you can see him."  
He was alive. Edward was still with us. Now it was just a matter of time. His leg was the least of my concerns right now. Was he still going to be the Edward we all knew and loved or would he suffer the effects of oxygen deprivation to his brain and be a shell of a person. There was also a chance that he could be somewhere in between the two. Sometimes people who come back from a near death experience suffer memory lapses and in extreme cases their personality could be altered permanently.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
It was so hard to see our Edward so still and lifeless in ICU. He looked so unlike himself. He was so pale and it broke my heart to pieces, every time I watched the machine breathe for him since he was unable to do it himself.  
Esme and I had both spent the night in the hospital and despite my position here, we were not allowed to stay with him in the room constantly. We had to follow the regular ICU scheduled hours of visitation. We both decided to sleep in my office, since the couch was a sleeper sofa.  
We were waiting patiently for Dr. Richardson to come in and give us an update. It was an eye-opening experience for me to be totally kept out of the loop about what was going on. There was a knock on the door and when Dr. Richardson entered with a somber look on her face, I had a feeling that the worst news was yet to come.  
"Good morning Carlisle and Esme. Right now Edward seems to be holding his own considering everything his body went through yesterday, which is a very good thing. Right now the results of the tox screen are a little more concerning for me."  
"What do you mean?" Esme spoke up before I could.  
"We expected to find evidence of opiates in his system since he received a shot of morphine when he was admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon. What we didn't expect to find was an extremely high amount of opiate and acetaminophen in his system. You said his prescription of Norcos ran out over three weeks ago, right?"  
"Yes," I swallowed thickly. I had a sense of dread begin to wash over me. Edward was constantly tired and he blamed that on the physical therapy. He was keeping to himself which he had never done before. He always talked about having headaches and he was constantly drinking water saying that his mouth was dried out. All symptoms that could very easily be caused by those damn pain pills.  
The phone call not long after he'd been home from the hospital saying he accidentally spilled his pills down the sink, when he had never been clumsy a day in his life. It is starting to make sense. Then my mind flashed back to the unsolved break-in in the hospital pharmacy. It was Norcos that had been stolen. Edward would have been able to get a hold of my keys and get in there easily.  
"Carlisle, the only way these results are the way they are is if he found another source for the pills." I nodded my head at Dr. Richardson as Esme gripped my hand tightly. I looked over and saw silent tears begin to fall down her face. "The high level of acetaminophen concern me in regards to his liver and kidneys so I am going to have blood drawn to make sure that he hasn't suffered any organ damage. The high amount also means that Edward was taking much higher a dose than normal, so he is likely very addicted to them at this point."  
"I have no doubt that you are right Dr. Richardson. What do you suggest we do for him to help him recover? Do you think ANR would work in this situation?"  
"What's ANR?" Esme asked.  
"Accelerated Neuro-Regulation (ANR) is a detox method that has the best success rate for this type of addiction. It is a very fast-paced treatment that allows the patient to sleep through most of the withdrawal symptoms. Since Edward will be asleep during the process, his body will not have the craving that it has had since he began taking the pills. Are you willing for us to proceed with this treatment?"  
Esme and I looked at each other and she nodded her head. "Yes, whatever you need to do to help him, do it. Will he need any other type of treatment once ANR is completed?" I asked.  
"It is usually a certain personality type to become addicted, and once and addict always an addict." I felt so ashamed that everyone in my family, even myself, had been wearing blinders and not noticed the downward spiral that had put Edward in this position to begin with. "Carlisle, you are not the first family to be faced with someone with a drug addiction and you most definitely will not be the last. The best way to help him once he comes home is for him and any members of the family who feel comfortable to attend Narcotic Anonymous meetings with him. I would suggest he attend the meetings a few times a week in the beginning. There are meetings every day if he needs them. Once he feels like he is truly recovering he can cut down the number of meetings he attends." She put her hand on my shoulder. "I know this seems extremely frightening to you, but this is something that he can get over with medical help and therapy. He will also need the love and support of all of his friends and family as well. I will let you know as soon as I get the results of his kidney and liver function by early this evening."  
Esme laid her head down on my shoulder and said, "How did we not see this happening, Carlisle?"  
"I don't know, Sweetheart. I just don't know." I kissed her forehead tenderly.  
"I feel like we have failed him as parents. We are supposed to protect them from harm. Edward has been harming himself right in front of us and we didn't even know!" My beloved wife rarely raised her voice, but I could hear her anguish with every word. I felt the exact same way. "Where did he get those pills?"  
"Unfortunately, I think I know. Remember the missing Norcos from the hospital pharmacy a few weeks ago?"  
"Oh, God. Carlisle, he could go to prison if anyone ever found out. He's gone through so much. We can't let that happen too!"  
"I agree, Esme. I think that nearly dying was more than enough 'punishment' for Edward. There was no evidence of who broke in. No one could ever prove it was him. Edward could have just as easily picked them up from a drug dealer on the street. But I have to tell you, this is the last time we can 'cover' for him. He's a grown-up now and has to begin to realize how his decision impact himself and those around him. He is going to have to start facing the circumstances or find that he will be personally paying the price. We have used our power and influence to get him out of one scrape after another and that has obviously been a huge mistake on our parts. We are supposed to be his parents, not his friends. By getting him out of trouble when he physically assaulted that vile Mike Newton, then sending him on a winter vacation, we taught him that he could do whatever he wanted, no matter who he hurt." I pulled Esme closer to me before I continued.  
"This needs to be a new beginning for all of us. Edward is going to need a lot of support. Not only is he going to be a recovering addict, he is going to have to figure out what he is going to do with the rest of his life, since he has only ever dreamed of playing football."  
"Carlisle, I know that you are right. We have babied all of our children to the point that they don't see us as parents like they should, because we haven't been the parents. We have let them do what they want, when they want, how they want. It is time for us to take a firm hand and show them that they are not the ones in charge, we are. As long as they live under our roof, they have got to start following our rules. I can't watch another one of our children go through this because we aren't doing the jobs that God gave us to do when they were born."  
"Well said, my darling. I think it is time for us to go have a chat with our children about expectations and rules from now on." We held on to each others' hands tightly as we made our way to the waiting room to tell Emmett and Alice about their brother and to make sure that they knew that there were new sheriffs in our household.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Emmett and Alice had been as surprised as Esme and I were about Edward's drug problem. In a small way it was comforting that the two people who considered themselves closest to my son didn't know that he was in way over his head. They were also nearly startled when we went over new expectations with them. Emmett almost choked when we told them no more drinking of any type of alcohol at all under are roof. We told him if he didn't like it, that he was 18 and he could feel free to move somewhere else. That shut him up instantly. The thought of not having his mother cook all of his favorite foods that he lives to pig out on overrode everything else. We also told them no one of the opposite sex in their bedrooms with the door closed which caused our dear Alice to blush furiously. We knew that her relationship with Jasper had morphed into something else recently. The last thing that we wanted was out sons' best friend doing whatever he wanted with our daughter in our house.  
Later that evening, Dr. Richardson delivered some news that helped relieve a little bit of stress for Esme and me. Edward's kidneys and liver were functioning normally. He hadn't been taking a high enough dosage of Norco to cause any damage. Dr. Richardson also told us that Edward would be in the medically induced coma for a week now to give his body time to adjust to being Norco free. She was also going to keep him on the respirator since his body could suffer breathing issues while being detoxed.  
The next week was the longest of our lives while we waited for Edward to wake up from the coma, hopefully free of the cravings of the dreaded Norcos. Esme and I were taking turns at the house. We decided that with the new laws of the house, one of us would always be home overnight. Alice and Emmett complained about it in the beginning. They soon found there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it.  
Finally it was time. Seven long days had passed and we were all at Edward's side as he was being brought out of his coma. We knew it could be days before he actually opened his eyes, but all of us, Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and myself had no where else we would be. At last, two days after he was taken of the medicine, 9 days after the surgery and the moment that we thought we had lost him forever, we were all graced with seeing the emerald green eyes we had been frantically waiting to see.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EPOV  
Despite the morphine and Mellow Yellow in my system, I still felt myself being wheeled down to the operating room. Just what I wanted to be fucking cut open again and have my leg jacked up. Fuck! There was no way I was going to be ready when Aro Blackheart was scheduled to come back. USC was going to be out of the picture. I could almost feel my heart beating erratically as the blackness of the anesthesia began to consume me.  
Suddenly, I was brought out of the total darkness into an extremely harsh white light.  
"What the fuck! Why the hell are the lights so damn bright? I swear to God I'm gonna smack down the son of a bitch who turned them on full blast while I'm fucking trying to get my rest," I shouted.  
"Edward Anthony Cullen, that is not the way you were raised to speak. I should know!"  
I rubbed my eyes repeatedly and the sight before me didn't change. It was my grandmother, Elizabeth Masen Platt.  
"Granny Platt?" I asked in a shaky voice. I shook my head and wiped at my eyes again, but there she stood in all of her bronze haired, green-eyed glory.  
"Yes, Edward Anthony. It's me and you know that I can't stand it when you call me granny. I'm your grandmother and that is exactly how you will address me," she said. Shit, that was definitely her. I would always get my ass chewed out when I called her granny. I always loved to see the Irish temper flash in her eyes; the eyes that I inherited from her, so I would always find as many ways to bring out that temper as I could. "Come here, child. Give your Grandmother a hug. I've missed you so."  
I walked towards her outstretched arms still hoping that she was a figment of my imagination but when those arms clasped tightly around my body, I was extremely confused.  
"Grandma, where am I? What the hell is going on?" She flicked my ear. So that is where my mom got it from. She obviously learned from the very best.  
"Well, my beloved, look there." She pointed below us and I stumbled away from her when I saw myself laying on the operating table. I could see and hear everything that was going on. I heard the fucking loud ass heart monitor and saw that it wasn't registering a heartbeat. I heard my dad screaming and saw tears streaming down his face. I had never, in my 18 years, seen my father cry. I felt a lump in my throat and looked at my grandmother.  
"Am I...?" I couldn't get the words to come out. I've heard the stories about what happens to someone when they die. I never thought it was something that I would be experiencing right now.  
"My sweet, sweet, Edward. That is entirely up to you. Your life took a path that it was never supposed to take and this is where it has led. You aren't the same precious Edward that I knew before I passed. You became a cruel, merciless young man, who enjoyed hurting others and putting his needs before absolutely everyone else."  
"Grandma, I don't know what you are talking about." That wasn't entirely true. I knew that I wasn't the best person in the world. What teenager is perfect?  
"You don't know, do you? Look here and listen carefully to everyone that you have harmed in one way or another." She turned me towards the white and suddenly I saw my life flash before my eyes. I gulped loudly as I saw all the snippets of my life begin to move before me. I felt like I was Scrooge being visited by one of the three ghosts.  
"I don't hear anything," I told her.  
"Listen hear, my child." She tapped me on the head.  
The first image was that of me beating that fucker Jacob in junior high school. I remembered wanting to prove to him that he was a piece of shit for looking at Bella like she was a piece of meat. I saw the punches flying but I didn't hear anything. Suddenly, I nearly choked as I began to hear Jacob. I heard him clear as a bell, but his lips weren't moving. I stumbled back a little at the confusion I was feeling.  
"Grandma, I don't understand. What's going on?"  
"You need to really see how your actions have hurt those people around you. What a better way to do that than for you to hear their thoughts about how what you did to them made them feel."  
I could hear Jacob's thoughts and feel his fear as my fists pounded him to shit. I cringed as I could feel and hear the terror that was enveloping his entire being.  
Next, was my beloved Bella. I could hear the contempt in her thoughts at how I behaved towards Jacob. She was comparing me to an animal. "How could he do this to someone just because he was looking at me. What would he do to someone who really pissed him off? His behavior is really kinda scary to me."  
That startled me that my girl could ever be scared of me.  
I was then faced with girl after girl that I had fucked or gotten blow jobs and other sexual favors from. Each and every one of them had the same thoughts. "How dare Edward treat me like I'm not a person." "I feel like trash. I thought I meant something to him." "Fuck, I am such a slut. I'm garbage for letting him touch me at all." "What the hell was I thinking? I'm just another notch in his bedpost." The thought continued each more unpleasant than the next.  
Suddenly it was the day that I Bella and I first had sex and I slapped her because I was pissed that I didn't use a condom. "Oh my God. He hit me. How could he do this to me? I love him with everything that I am. I gave up my heart and my virginity to him and he gets angry and hits me. I don't know if I can stand to be with someone who would fly off the handle so easily. But God, I look into those beautiful green eyes of his and he totally fucking owns me. I don't know how I could ever live without him. If his anger is the price I have to pay to be with him, I guess I will have to learn to live with it."  
It was the same day but now Bella's thoughts turned to seeing me kiss Tanya and get a blow job from her. "I'm dying inside. How could he hurt me this way. It's like a Edward has ripped a giant hole in my chest. I would rather him hit me over and over again. It would hurt so much less than seeing him with her. It would hurt less to die than to watch him with someone else."  
Bella dead! The world wouldn't be the bright, loving place that it was without her in it. I had no way to prepare for what happened next. I saw Alice leave Bella's room and head to the house and Bella go to Charlie's closet. She took down his lock box that held his gun and her shaky hands were unable to unlock the box. She got up and headed to the bathroom where she found a razor blade. "No!" I screamed. This couldn't be happening. Bella would never do this. She could never hurt herself. I watched as she put the blade to her wrist and begin to apply pressure. "I can't live in a world where he isn't in my life. He's everything to me. Everything. I'm nothing without him. He's gone, so it's time for me to be gone too."  
I collapsed to the ground as I saw Alice show up with my dad before she could successfully hurt herself.  
The shooting. I could feel the waves of cockiness pouring from every cell in my being as I left the house and headed to Bella's with my gun. A man knows how to handle his gun. I would show her who held the real power in our relationship. "Jesus," Bella thought. "I always thought there was a chance he would beat me and put me in the hospital with his brute force. I never thought he could kill me. I don't want to die. I don't care if I can't have him with me all the time anymore. I want to live. I will always love him, no matter what happens. Even if he does kill me, I will love him with my entire heart until I take my last breath."  
As I was lying on the ground writhing in pain from being shot. "Oh, God. Please let him be OK. Do whatever you have to do to me, but don't take Edward from this world. He is so special. A world without Edward would be such a desolate place." Her thoughts turned despondent after I opened my sorry fucking mouth blaming her for shooting me when in my heart and in my head everything was totally my fault. I could feel every facet of her pain. Bella's pain was consuming every part of me. My chest was on fire with it. I felt tears began to fall down my face.  
Suddenly my head began to swell with the thoughts of every single person that I had ever hurt in some way. I grabbed my head. The pain began to radiate from my chest throughout my entire body. "Grandma, please make it stop. I can't take it. Please, it hurts so bad!"  
"Edward, my beloved. That's just a fraction of the pain that you have caused others. It isn't very pleasant is it?" She smirked at me. Her Irish temper was getting ready to reveal itself again at any moment. "You cannot continue down the path that you have been paving for yourself. It will only lead to more pain and suffering than you could ever imagine."  
"What do I have to do to make this stop? I will do anything, Grandma, absolutely anything. Please, help me. I never meant to hurt any of them. I know that I was wrong. I can see that now. I didn't think before I acted, ever. I fucked up. I'm a royal fuck up. I can change I swear it. I can't bear to see all of those that I love hurting. It's killing me."  
"You are right. Your past actions are why you are in that position right now." She pointed below where I could see Dr. Richardson working frantically to bring me back to life.  
"What do you want from me?" I shouted. The thoughts of my victims continued to pulse throughout my brain.  
"You have to make everything right, my dear Edward. Only then will you be who you are truly meant to be. If you can't do that then you will simply no longer be."  
"I can do it, Grandma. I swear I can be the person you think I should be. Whatever it takes, just make it stop!"  
Suddenly the pain intensified and and could feel myself being pulled away back into the darkness.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I could feel the pain again all over my entire body. Even my throat felt raw. It had to be from the screaming when I experienced all the pain that Grandma Platt showed me. I had no idea I was really that bad. I had hurt everyone that I had ever touched. I had brought both of my parents to tears, broken their hearts. My little sister, Alice, who I had always sworn to protect from harm, I had often brutalized with my words. I had made Bella who I thought I had cherished beyond belief, I had made feel worthless and take away her desire to live. I still can't believe because of how I treated her that she had tried to end her life. A world without Bella, would not be worth living in.  
I had lived my life not paying attention, no that isn't right. I had lived my life just not fucking caring about any person and how my actions affected them. Grandma Platt helped paint an extremely vivid picture that I did not want to be a part of any longer. I know that it wouldn't be easy, but I would do everything I could to no longer be the bad spirited person that I had become.  
Opening my eyes was a major struggle. It felt as though giant boulders were keeping them sealed shut. I could see more and more light as my eyelids fluttered open. I heard murmuring voices around me.  
I tried to find my voice but the searing pain in my throat. I felt like I was gagging.  
"Edward..." It was Mom. I could hear the tears in her voice. I could feel her small hand clinging on tightly to mine.  
"Son, don't move and don't try to talk. You've got a tube down your throat that has been helping you breathe. Relax. Dr. Richardson is on her way to remove it." He had my left hand between both of his. "You are going to be OK, Edward. Relax." I was trying to stay calm but it felt like I was being suffocated and I began to struggle and tore my hands away from my parents to try to pull the tube out myself.  
"Stop it. You will hurt yourself, E." Emmett came up and forced both of my hands down from the tube as the door opened.  
"It is good to see you awake, Edward," Dr. Richardson said as she came over to my bedside. "I bet you are ready for this to come out. I need you to cough when I say so we can get the breathing tube out of your throat." She untaped the tube from my mouth. "On the count of three, I need the strongest cough you have in you. One. Two. Three."  
Oh shit. It felt like hundreds of tiny daggers were scraping my throat as she pulled the tube from my throat. Every breath that I took burned deep down into my lungs.  
"Edward, your throat is going to be extremely sore for a few days so you need to try your best not to talk. We can get you a pen and some paper so you can talk to everyone, if you'd like it." I nodded my head yes. Even nodding my head hurt my throat. Little Alice, brought me a pad of her scented pink paper and her favorite pink pen that was shaped like a flamingo. Damn, I love that lil pixie.  
"Do you remembered what happened?" Dr. Richardson asked. I nodded yes. I remembered the fall from the treadmill and seeing my leg contorted awkwardly.  
I wrote, "How is my leg doing?"  
"We performed surgery and repaired as much of your leg as we were able to." I saw Dr. Richardson look at my parents.  
"Edward, there were some complications during the surgery," Dad said as his voice began to crack.  
"What happened to me, Dad?" I saw his hesitation. "Please, I need to know." I scribbled. I saw him look at Mom and he went to her and squeezed her hand gently. I looked at Alice and Em. My twin had tears in his eyes as well. Suddenly, I remembered the picture that Grandma Platt had shown me. "I died, didn't I?"  
They all looked startled from the four simple words I had written. My family was speechless as Dr. Richardson told me, "You went into severe respiratory distress, Edward. You stopped breathing and your heart stopped. It took us nearly ten minutes to bring you back."  
"Why did I stop breathing?"  
"That worried us as well, because you are too young and healthy for that to happen, Edward. We ran a blood test to check for toxins in your blood that could have caused it. We found extremely high amounts of opiates and acetaminophen in your blood. You know what that was from, don't you?" Dr. Richardson didn't sound accusatory at all.  
"Yes, I think I do." I could see the tortured expressions on my family's faces. "I'm so, so sorry. I just...I couldn't stop." My hands were shaking so I knew that they would be struggling to read my words.  
"We know, Son. Dr. Richardson had you put under for a week so your body could detox from the Norcos and not feel the effects."  
"What happens now?" I had no idea what path my life would take now. I had a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that it was definitely not going to be an easy journey.  
"First, for pain management for your leg, we aren't going to be able to give you anything stronger than Tylenol or Motrin. That may or may not take the edge off your pain. How is your leg feeling?" The doctor asked.  
"It hurts."  
"I will order you some Tylenol. You are also going to have to undergo even more intensive physical therapy than before," Dr. Richardson said.  
"How bad is my leg?"  
"Your injuries were very severe. Everything that could have been torn or broken was."  
"What does that mean?" In my heart, I knew the answer that she was going to give me.  
"You will never regain full mobility of your leg. Its function will likely be around 60 percent, maybe a little more or maybe a little less. I can tell that you are still very tired from everything that you've been through, so I'm going to let you spend some time with your family and rest."  
"Thanks again, Dr. Richardson, for everything." My dad shook her hand. She nodded and left as Rosalie entered with my Tylenol. She poured water and held the cup and put the straw to my lips.  
"Take a small sip first to wet your throat. Then, you can take this." She held up the small pills. The coldness of the water soothed the ache in my throat, even though the pills did hurt as they went down.  
I grabbed the paper and wrote, "Thank you." She merely nodded with a slight smile and I caught the glance that she and my twin shared. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it before she left. They weren't just fucking around like I thought they were.  
I could feel my eyelids getting heavier by the second. "I'm sorry, for everything." I wrote.  
"So tired."  
I felt Mom kiss my forehead. "We know you are worn out, Edward. We are just so glad you came back to us. Get some sleep. We will be here when you wake up."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
In the days that followed, I was moved from the ICU to a private room. It was a good thing since none of my family wanted to leave my side.  
I had a long talk with Mom and Dad when they sent Emmett and Alice for lunch. The talk centered on Mellow Yellow and how it had almost killed me. Every tear that I watched both of my parents shed made me vow to myself more and more to make sure that I never caused them the kind of pain that I had with my careless behavior.  
To say that I was nervous about attending my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting the day that I was released from the hospital was an understatement. I knew that I was going to have to find the strength on my own two feet eventually. I was so relieved when Mom and Dad said that they wanted to attend the first meeting with me. I had already asked my Dad to pick up information for NA members so I would be prepared and know what to expect.  
It was hard for me to believe that at the age of 18 that I was a drug addict and even if I never touched another pill again that I would always be an addict. Mellow Yellow had owned me and it almost took my life. I had already memorized the Serenity Prayer and I would recite it to myself any time I felt myself wanting some cuddle time with M.Y.  
God, grant me the serenity  
to accept the things I cannot change,  
the courage to change the things I can,  
and the wisdom to know the difference.  
So short, yet so much power in the small prayer. I know that I can't change that I'm a drug addict. Addiction is a disease. That much I have found out. I can change and I knew after I read over the 12 steps that would be the keys to my successful recovery.  
Like step 1 said, my life had no longer become my own. It was all in the hands of M.Y. I understood that now more than ever. I knew as step 2 said that I couldn't get through this on my own. Grandma Platt showed me that there is someone out there watching over us with more power than we could ever imagine. I knew that that power was there to guide me in my darkest hour and help me when I desperately needed it, which lead to step 3 of the program.  
Step 4, well, it wasn't a pretty picture when I looked at who I was before and M.Y. made me even worse. I didn't ever want to be like that again. With step 5, admitting to my parents and my brother and sister that I was an addict was one of the hardest things I'd ever experienced. I knew in my heart that they would be with me every step of my journey.  
God brought Grandma Platt to me to help show me what was wrong with who I was so it would be easier to figure out how to change. I asked Him daily to help guide me down the road that my life was truly supposed to take.  
I had already begun to compile the list of people who I have wronged in some way and not just during my addiction either. I don't think that M.Y. was my only addiction. I was addicted to controlling others, making them bend to my will. That addiction was just as bad as the drug had been. At some points, I think it was even worse than the drugs. The list kept getting longer and more extensive. The hardest part for me was how I was going to make amends with everyone I had harmed. I had already begun to make amends with my family, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.  
I also had to make amends with Felix. He had come to see me in the hospital and was so angry at me for trying to take matters into my own hands. He told me a story about one of his former patients who had pushed himself so far that he ended up dying. I had almost become another story for him to tell. He threatened to make me find another physical therapist, but I trusted him with my life and I knew he would do whatever he could to help me get a little mobility back in my leg.  
I knew that I would never be playing football again. At first, I was angry. Then I realized that it was really all my fault. I did it to my self and I was the only one I could blame for it. It wasn't Bella's fault that I brought the gun to her house to try to show her that I was "the man." It wasn't Felix's fault that I decided to exercise and exercise to try to build strength when I was only causing myself more damage. Here it was almost March of my senior year and I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Graduation was looming closer every second of every day and I had absolutely no clue of what my future had in store for me.  
I was finally released from the hospital nearly three weeks after I almost died. Before we went home, we went to one of the conference rooms at the hospital for my first meeting.  
My heart was pounding in my ears as the meeting began. My Dad was on my left side and Mom on my right. After the introductions were made and they asked if anyone else would like to speak. I used my crutches with Dad's help and uttered the words that would help heal me in time. "My name is Edward and I'm a drug addict." No one looked down their noses at me. We were all in this battle for recovery together and I was assigned a sponsor Stephen Rodgers. He had become addicted to painkillers too after a severe back injury. He was so easy to talk to, it was like we were kindred spirits.  
Mom and Dad had gotten permission for me to stay home to finish out the school year, but that wasn't what was really best for me. I needed to face all of my demons and I knew that I couldn't do that at home. I was starting back to school on Monday. I was also scared that if I was at home that I was going to go stir crazy and that I would more easily hear M.Y. calling out to me. Any time I felt I was struggling, I would pray for guidance. I was never a religious person before the "Grandma Platt" incident. There was only one person that I had told about what happened after I died. That was my lil pixie, Alice.  
When I told her what I saw, what I saw Bella do, she paled. She asked me how I knew. I told her that it was shown to me and that I could hear what was going through her mind when she did it. Alice didn't believe me at first, but when I told her about thoughts that she had about me, thoughts she had never shared with anyone, she knew that I wasn't just telling a story. She hugged me tightly and laughed when I told her that I got an ear flick when I called Grandma granny.  
Monday was a typical dreary day in Forks as I rode with Emmett and Alice to school. We didn't tell everyone about my drug problem. Unless the drugs had caused them a problem Mom and Dad said that it wasn't any of their business. What was their business was how horribly I had treated many of them in the past.  
Most of the people that I apologized to me looked at me like I had sprouted a second head on my shoulders. Many of the girls just didn't believe me. I think they thought that I was trying to get in their pants again. Right now, I needed to be healthy before I could be with anyone in anyway and by no means was I mentally healthy yet. I was slowly but surely getting there.  
I was attending NA meetings at least 4 times a week. Stephen and I would talk about how I was working on apologizing to those who I had harmed in some way.  
Bella. I had harmed her physically and mentally. With the retraining order in place, there was no way that I could even talk to her to tell her how sorry I was for the way I treated her. She deserved someone better than me. She was an incredibly, amazing person who deserved someone who would treat her with the goodness and respect she not only deserved, but that I knew that she had craved.  
I had treated her like she was a possession to do with what I wanted when I wanted. Her wants and desires had really never been important to me. I still couldn't believe all of the damage that I had caused her. I didn't deserve her. I never did. She was too good for me. She deserved a life where she was happy and she wasn't ever truly happy with me.  
Stephen suggested that even if I couldn't talk to Bella in person, that I could write a letter to her. I knew that she would likely never read the letter, but at least I would be able to get all of my feelings out and on paper.  
It took me hours to find all of the words that I needed to say to her. Writing the letter was the most difficult thing I had done so far. It was stained with the tears I shed for every time I hit her, for every harsh word I said to her, for every girl that I fucked with when Bella was the only one who should have ever been in my arms.  
I was also slowly making strides in my physical recovery. When Felix would start me on a new exercise, I would ask for him to explain to me what its purpose was. When I saw other patients being treated by other therapists, I asked about their sessions as well.  
It didn't take me long to find my calling. I had hurt so many people for so long. I wanted to do what I could to help others when they were hurt and needed to be healed. Felix was the first I told of my plans. When I told him that I wanted to follow in his footsteps, I swear I saw his eyes get watery, but he denied it.  
Physical therapy was not going to be easy, but it was what I wanted to do with my life. Mom and Dad were so happy that I had found my true calling. I looked at schools all over the country. Mom and Dad wanted me to stay close to home, but I knew that I needed a break. I needed a fresh start. I also needed a place where NA meetings would be any time that I needed them.  
One school stood out above all the rest. It was in America's heartland. Ironically enough, they often battled USC for the top spot with their football program. I always looked good in crimson and cream.


	14. Chapter 14

BPOV  
Once I sat down in front of my laptop and began to research both Arizona State University and the University of Oklahoma, it was easier than I expected to make my choice. While ASU would put me close to Mom and Phil, it only offered a major in Journalism and Mass Communication. I wanted more than that, which OU offered. Not only could I double major in Visual Communications and Public Relations, but I could work for the Sooner Yearbook or The Oklahoma Daily. Both publications were top ranked nationally and would give me the opportunity to continue my photography and graphic design.  
Even though I had taught myself a lot about graphic design, I really didn't have any formal training. I was so excited about the prospect of not only learning how to do logo design and lettering but also web page and multimedia design. The public relations aspect would allow me to hone my writing skills.  
Once I made up my mind that OU was the school for me I sent all the paperwork to make things official and spoke with the dean of the school of journalism. I was so excited that I was finally doing something for myself. Not only did the dean promise me that I would receive a full scholarship, including books and fees, but both the newspaper and the yearbook wanted me on their staffs. I sat down with Jake and Emily at the student union to share my good news.  
"I've decided for sure where I'm going to college." I knew that my eyes were full of excitement for what lay ahead of me. I only hoped that my best friends would feel the same way.  
"So Bella, where are you headed?" Emily asked. "Did you decide to stay close to home?"  
"Bella, I've made up my mind too," Jake said. He was being recruited by a number of colleges for their basketball teams. He wouldn't tell anyone which coaches and schools had come to see him.  
"I've also got accepted to the school that I really wanted to go to," Emily added.  
"Well, on the count of three why don't we say where we are going." They nodded yes. "One. Two. Three."  
"The University of Oklahoma!" We all looked at each other shocked that all three of us had said the same school.  
"Oh, my God, really? We get to stay together!" Emily said as she threw her arms around both of us and hugged Jake and I tightly.  
"I can't believe it. Really, Bella?" Jake asked. "What are you going to study there?"  
"Public Relations and Visual Communication," I told him. "What about you, Jake? What are you going to major in?"  
"We always have rain, rain and more rain here. I'm interested in the weather in all parts of the country. I want to be a meteorologist!" His grin filled his entire face. "So, Emily, what will you do there?"  
"It's so funny that you want to be on tv as a meteorologist, Jake. I am going to study Broadcasting and Electronic Media."  
"I can't believe we all decided on the same school and we didn't even know the others were thinking about it," I said. I was so excited that I was going to have my very best friends with me as I began the next stage of my life. It was going to fantastic sharing everything with them. "You are going to be playing basketball too, right, Jake?"  
"Of course I am. The coach even got me a full scholarship. I also got a little help from the tribe for other expenses like room and board."  
"I got a scholarship from the tribe, too," Emily said. "I was so excited that I didn't have to worry about how I was going to pay for school. You still have the full ride you were promised, Bella?"  
"Yes, I do. Now I just have to decide whether or not I am going to work on the daily newspaper or the yearbook. Both staffs have been trying to sway me," I laughed. "There is only one thing that I'm worried about at this point. I haven't told Reneé and Charlie yet."  
"Oh, Bella, that sucks balls," Jake said.  
"How very eloquent, Jake," Emily laughed at him. "When are you planning on breaking it to them?"  
"It definitely has to be soon. I don't know how either is going to take it." I knew that both of my parents would want me to be near them. But this wasn't about what they wanted, I had to do what was best for me.  
"Good luck," Jake said. "I have a feeling you are going to need it."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I was surprised by how well both of my parents took my decision. It didn't hurt that I decided not to tell Reneé that Arizona State University had ever been in the running. They were both so proud that I was able to get a full scholarship for school.  
As soon as Reneé found out that Jake and Emily were going to be attending OU as well, she decided to look for a house near campus for all of us to share. I told her that we could handle living in the dorms, but she just wouldn't take no for an answer. A week before school was out, Mom and Phil flew down to close on the house that Jake, Emily and I would be sharing for at least the next four years. It was a cottage style house just six blocks from campus. It had 4 bedrooms and three bathrooms. That meant that neither Emily or I would have to share with Jake, who admittedly said that he was a total slob. We all decided that in the fourth bedroom that we could set up as our office with all of our computers.  
Graduation was finally here. Emily was the valedictorian. She was so nervous about giving her speech. I assured her after I read it that it was the perfect mix nostalgia and even some comedy. She got all the laughs in the right places and all the applause when it was called for. It really made me face the fact that each of us is in charge of our own destiny. It took me a long time to realize it, but I feel I have really grown as a person since I've starting putting myself first. When she finished her speech, Emily blushed as she got a standing ovation.  
When Jacob went across his stage for his diploma, he was his usual boisterous self while doing mock basketball shots as he was going down the stage. I blushed when I saw my parents together standing for me as I received my diploma. It was so nice to see my parents finally getting along, when all my life they had been at a stalemate.  
Mom, Dad, Phil and I all went out to dinner at the lodge in Forks to celebrate my graduation. Since Charlie didn't have a lot of money, I was beyond touched when he gave me an 8x10 photo of the two of us together. We both had our arms wrapped around each other and we were smiling. It was taken at my 18th birthday.  
"Dad, this picture is perfect." I could hear my voice cracking as I reached over to hug him. Charlie wasn't big on showing emotions. I knew that the last year had been difficult on all of us, especially my dad. "I love it so much. I love you." I kissed him on his cheek. He harrumphed, typically Charlie. I laughed to myself.  
"Well, now, Bells you are very welcome," Charlie told me.  
"I'm going to keep this right by my bed, Dad. It was the perfect present."  
"Here you go, honey. This is from Phil and me." I opened the card from my mom and rolled my eyes at her. Reneé was going to end up spending all her lottery winnings in no time if she kept up the way she was. She had already had our house furnished for us in Norman, OK. The card was filled with a check card and check book for an account to pay for all household expenses, utilities, internet and taxes.  
"Mom, this is just too much."  
"My little girl only goes off to college once and it's not like I can't afford it, honey. Please, I want to do this for you."  
"I know even if I tell you know that you will find a way to do it anyway." I got up and hugged her and kissed her. "Thank so much for everything."  
"Oh, Baby, you are more than welcome. I am so proud of all of the things you have accomplished. I have no doubt that you will do absolutely amazing at OU, if only it was closer to us like Arizona State." I choked on my drink at that comment. It was probably good to always keep it to myself that Arizona State was my second choice. Mom would have definitely found a way to make it be number one.  
"Are you OK, Bells?" Charlie asked me.  
"Just my typical lack of coordination, Dad. You know me. You are all lucky that it didn't come shooting out of my mouth and on all of you." That got everyone laughing.  
"Bella, I didn't put this in the card, but I'm also going to continue to pay for the car insurance on the Aston Martin. I know that there is absolutely no way that as a college student you could afford to do that." She laughed and reached into her purse to pull out a small card. It was a black American Express Card. Holy shit! "This is also for car-related expenses and any clothes or things you might need. Just don't go spending $100,000 a month and you will be good."  
"Mom, I don't think that I could spend that much money unless you were with me. I can't wait to really drive the Volante. I wonder how well it's going to handle on the highways."  
"It is really smooth, Bells." Charlie said then hid his face.  
"Dad, have you been taking my car out." I tried to sound harsh but I knew that I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Charlie never got caught doing anything he wasn't supposed to do. Since he's the sheriff, he had a squeaky clean image.  
"Um, Bella. I couldn't just let it set in the garage and not be driven. A car like that, well, it's just meant to be driven as much as possible. Now, I haven't taken it out that much, but if you don't pay attention you are going to get pulled over for speeding by the highway patrol."  
"How fast were you driving my baby, Dad."  
"Bells, I didn't mean to drive it that fast. I was just trying to get from point a to point b and before I knew it the car was up to …" He mumbled at the end so I couldn't make out the speed.  
"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that, Daddy Dearest?" I was smirking at him now.  
"120, Bella."  
"Dad, I can't believe you did that." I noticed that he was blushing. "What aren't you telling me, Charlie?" I only used Charlie if he was in trouble and he knew it.  
"I kind of got pulled over while I was driving it." Mom, Phil and I burst out laughing.  
"You got a ticket didn't you, Dad?" I could barely get the words out between my giggles.  
"No, um, once they saw me in my uniform, I just got a warning. I haven't driven it without using the cruise control since then."  
"Oh, Charlie, only you or Bella could get caught doing something like that." Reneé said still laughing. "I had that car up to over 150 on the straight aways in Arizona."  
"Mom!"  
"Bella, I had to make sure that it was as good as they said." You had to love my  
Mom. She never took anyone's word for anything she always had to find out the truth herself.  
While dinner progressed we talked about the up-coming drive from Forks to OU. With Jake needing to get to Norman so he could start his pre-season training with the basketball team and for Emily and I to become acquainted with the publication staff members, we were leaving Washington in a week. I was driving us down while most of our belongings were going to be shipped to our new house and would be waiting for us when we got there.  
We decided not to try to rush the trip to Oklahoma since it was a 35 hour drive. I was going to try to drive about nine hours a day until we got to our new home. We would stop a few times a day to stretch our legs and Reneé said to use the platinum card for hotel rooms for the nights we were on the road as well as for all of our meals. I don't think she realized how much Jake could eat at one time. That boy ate enough for the entire NBA in one sitting. I couldn't wait to start my new life. I'm sure that my life would be full of surprises.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EPOV  
My grades didn't end up as high as I would have like them to, but I was able to pull my head out of my ass and actually pass all of my classes and I was going to be able to graduate. My parents were very proud of everything that I had accomplished. It was now the beginning of June and I was three months sober. Some days were more of a struggle than others but I was making it through.  
My entire family has been through a lot the last few months, as well. Alice and Jasper are still going strong. I have never seen them as happy as they are now. There relationship makes me hope that one day I would be that happy with the one person I was destined to be with. My heart always longed for Bella, but chances were that I would never even see her again. I always felt a pain in my chest at those thought.  
The most surprising news was that Emmett was staying and going to school in Seattle. It seems that my injuries had brought him the love of his life as well as a little something extra. I had been home for the hospital for about a week, when Emmett came into my room to talk to me. I could tell by the emotions pouring off of him that something was wrong.  
"E, man, I really need my brother right now." Emmett sat down beside me on the couch downstairs.  
"Emmett, what's wrong. Fuck, it looks like someone killed your puppy, if you had a puppy that is." Obviously my attempt at humor failed.  
"I fucked up. Jesus, man, I love the hell out of her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her but, holy shit. I don't know if I am ready for everything right now."  
"Slow down, Em. What's going on? Is this about you and Rosalie?" He looked totally shocked by my words.  
"How did you know?"  
"Well, I kind of saw you two together at the hospital late on night and you looked like you were very into each other."  
"We are. We are definitely soul mates. I can't imagine my life without her at all. Mom and Dad are going to kick my ass. This was so not supposed to happen." He put his head in his hands and I could feel him begin to shake.  
"Emmett, you are really starting to scare me. What's going on? Are you OK?"  
"Yes and no. Edward, I'm gonna be a dad. Rosalie is pregnant." I was speechless. I looked at him and I could see the fear in his eyes.  
"You said that you love her, right?"  
"Of course I do. I have no doubt that she was made for me."  
"Do you plan on being with her forever?"  
"Yes. She's my everything."  
"Do you hope to marry her and be with her as long as you live?" I had no idea where the hell these words were coming from, but obviously these are things that my brother needed to think about and have the answers to.  
"I'd have fucking married her on the first day we met if she would have."  
"When you were thinking about your future with her, did you plan on it just being you two or were you planning on having kids?" This question seemed to surprise him a little bit.  
"I can picture a beautiful little girl with my wickedly awesome sense of humor and her mother's violet eyes."  
"Sounds to me like you know exactly what you want."  
"I do. I want her and I want the kid. But, what if I'm not meant to be a good dad?  
"Em, you are one of the most incredible men I know. You always care about what happens to your friends and family. Hell, you almost beat up Jasper the first time you saw him with Alice, because you were afraid he was taking advantage of her. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be an absolutely amazing father. It may have not been in your plans now, but it is coming. You are just going to have to man up and deal with it."  
"Who are you and what have you done to my brother Edward?"  
"I have been to hell and back in just a few months, Emmett. Almost dying, seeing all of your eyes after I woke up in the hospital. I won't be that Edward again. I refuse to ever put myself or you guys in the position we were in before. I have been a fucking spoiled rotten brat who didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything. Well, I've opened my damn eyes and I do give a fuck now. I give a fuck about what you guys think about me. I give a fuck about how my actions affect other people. It's taken me a long time to get to this point and I may not like what it took for me to get here, but this is how I'm supposed to be."  
"I never thought I would hear a wise Edward, only a wise ass Edward." Emmett cackled.  
"I am sure that the wise ass Edward will show up every once in a while." I laughed with him. "I can't believe I am going to be an uncle. Between Rose's kick ass body and your looks, you better watch out if it is a little girl. You will have to fight the boys off with a stick."  
"Haha. I'm going to be a dad." He finally smiled a truly genuine smile. "That doesn't stop the fact that Mom and Dad are going to kill me. Rosie will be a widow before she gets to even be a wife."  
"Nah, man. Mom and Dad might not be totally thrilled about the timing, but the baby is a part of you and they adore you. They will love the baby as much as the rest of us will."  
While Mom and Dad definitely weren't thrilled with the idea, they were very proud of Emmett for stepping up and taking responsibility. Things could have been worse. He could have died of a drug overdose. The week after graduation, Emmett and Rosalie got married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse. It was just my family and Angela Webber who attended. Rose had lost her parents in a car accident her sophomore year of college. He moved into her spacious apartment and got a part time job working at a garage. Emmett had always loved tinkering with cars. By January, I was going to be an uncle. My twin was going to be a dad. It was so weird everything that had gone down in the past few months.  
For graduation, Mom and Dad helped me out more than they ever should. They bought me a small condo on the lower floor of a complex just two blocks from campus. It had three bedrooms and two baths. Felix was coming to visit me once I got moved in to help me set up my own therapy area in one of the extra bedrooms.  
While I was able to drive finally, there was no way that I was going to be able to drive the car all the way to school. Dad took the week off from work and he, Mom and Alice drove me to my new home. Mom loved to decorate and had been through catalogue after catalogue to pick out all of the furniture for the apartment. I was being granted minimal access to my trust fund from Grandma Platt. She had left Alice, Emmett and me $5 million each that we would not be able to have until our 21st birthday or with a written OK from the attorney. We already had college funds set up to pay tuition. The attorney had approved a monthly allowance for me to help me pay for food and utilities. I was glad that I wasn't going to be forced to get a job. I could only stand up for so long right now without a great deal of pain. Finding a part time job in a college town where I would be sitting down the entire time would be next to impossible to find.  
I was attending a state university with an enrollment of almost 30,000. The city was just south of the state's capital with a population of almost 100,000. That was definitely going to be a change of pace from Forks. I was planning on getting my undergrad degree in Health and Exercise Sciences. I was going to work my ass off and make sure that I was able to get into the Doctor of Physical Therapy program. My eyes were wide open. It was a new day and I was feeling so good, finally. I knew things were not going to be easy, but I was ready for anything and everything that God had in store for me.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
BPOV  
The University of Oklahoma was not what I imagined it would be. It was so much better. I ended up working for both the newspaper and the yearbook. I was primarily a photographer for the Sooner Yearbook and I did advertising and page design for the Oklahoma Daily. It was a lot of work but I was enjoying every minute of it.  
My classes were going just as well. I loved each and every professor and I was learning everything I wanted to know and more. I was so glad that I made the decision to come here.  
On a personal level, I had never been as happy as I was. Jake, Emily and I did as much together as we could. The only problem was that Jake lived like a damn dog. We had to threaten to kick him out to get him to pick up after himself. His bedroom reeked like an animal had died in there. At first, he didn't believe the threat. Then I had Reneé call him and I hadn't even seen Jake move as fast on the basketball court as I did after he got off the phone with my mom. His room was clean in a matter of minutes.  
While Jake and Emily were going to watch the first home game football game of the season against the University of Tulsa, I had to work. I was going to be taking photos of the game. My adviser told me that it was unheard of for a freshman to be allowed to take such photos, but the quality of work they had seen me produce put me at the top of their list. I was taking pictures of the top ranked college football team in front of a crowd of over 80,000. I had never had my clumsiness take over while my camera was in my hands and I hope it didn't start tomorrow. What made me more nervous was when I noticed on Twitter that some members of my favorite band, Kings of Leon, would be at the game. The bass player, Jared Followill, was one of the hottest guys I had ever seen. He was sex on legs and rumor was he had front row seats. If I saw him, I would definitely sneak a few shots of him for my own personal collection.  
I had a break between classes and work in the publications office so I decided to head to the Oklahoma Memorial Union to snag a chocolate Frosty and some fries from Wendy's. Some people looked at me like I was a freak when I dipped the crisp fries in the fluffy chocolate ice cream, but I didn't care. It was the perfect combination of sweet and salty.  
The line was huge like always, so I snapped a few candid shots of the students as they wandered through the food court. I always had my camera with me. As a photographer you always have to be prepared since you never know when the perfect photo could present itself. I couldn't wait to dig into my mouthwatering treat. I was cramming a chocolate covered french fry in my mouth as I headed out the door that lead to the North Oval, a grass covered area where I loved to relax and people watch and snap photos. I wasn't paying attention as I headed out the door and I ran straight into someone and would have fallen if their strong hands hadn't held me in place. I was surprised that I hadn't dropped my Frosty in the collision.  
"I'm so sorry," I said as I looked up into the deep green eyes that I hadn't seen in seven months. Eyes that in a million years I would ever expect to see again. Eyes that belonged to Edward.


	15. Chapter 15

EPOV  
Jesus fucking Christ! It was Bella! My heart stuttered in my chest. Not only was I face to face with the only person that I could ever love, the only person who held my ultimate redemption in the palm of her hands. I had dreamt about this moment so many times and never did I think it would become a reality. I was touching her. She looked so fucking good. Her scent, fuck, so much better than I remembered. My palms began to sweat. This was a moment that never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to happen. She was here, in Norman, at the University of Oklahoma. What were the chances of this happening? I couldn't find my voice. For the first time in my life, I was rendered speechless.  
"Edward..." Her voice sounded like the best damn music I had ever heard. My dreams had not been doing her justice at all. Bella was so much more than I remembered. She was so much more than I would ever deserve.  
"Bella." What the hell was my damn problem? I prayed every day for a chance to make things right with her. I was blowing it and blowing it big. I needed to get my shit together because I might not ever get an opportunity like this again.  
"What...what are you doing here?" She asked me.  
"Um, I go here." Great, Edward, very eloquent. Pull your head out of your ass you stupid prick, I told myself. "How about you? What are you doing here?"  
"I go to school here too." You couldn't cut the fucking tension between the two of us with a chainsaw.  
"Do you...can we...I'd really like to talk to you for a minute, Bella, if that's okay with you. There is a great coffee house just across that street." It looked like her eyes were beginning to fill with unshed tears. My heart accelerated even more while I waited for her to respond.  
"I...I can't, Edward. I'm so sorry. I have to go to work." I suddenly noticed the camera bag slung over her back as she pointed to it. I looked at her and she seemed to hear my silent thoughts. "I work for the school yearbook and newspaper." She glanced quickly, almost too quickly, at her watch. "It was, well, it was nice to see you again."  
She began to walk out the door. I couldn't face the thought of having this chance slip through my fingers. She had to know, she deserved to know everything. I remembered the letter, her letter. I always kept it with me, because in some sort of sick, twisted way, it made me think that she wasn't totally gone from me, that I still had at least some kind of connection to her.  
"Bella, wait, please." I heard my voice crack with the last word and she slowly turned around to face me. Tears were falling down her cheeks and it made me feel fucking worse than ever before. Could I ever do right by her? Would I ever be able to do anything other than hurt her? "I know you didn't expect, I didn't expect, fuck..."  
I reached for my wallet and pulled out the letter. It was worn from the months it had spent in my wallet and from the many times that I pulled it out to read it. I grabbed a pen from my backpack and wrote my cell number on it. I put the pen away and walked slowly, cautiously, to the beautiful sight before me.  
"Bella, a lot has happened. There is so much that I want to say to you. There is so much that you need to hear. I can see that you don't feel that you can talk to me. I understand completely." I held out the note to her. "This is for you. I've had it with me for a while now. It tells you, well, if you could please read it." I pleaded with her with my voice and with my eyes that were now beginning to mist over. I tried to swallow, but the lump in my throat kept growing bigger by the second. "Please read this. If you feel that you are willing, it would mean the world to me, if you could call me or even text me. My number is on the letter."  
She moved so slowly and I could feel the jolt of current that flowed between us when her hand barely touched mine as she reached for the crumpled letter. I extended my other hand towards her cheek to try to wipe away her tears and she flinched away from me. Fuck! I've done it again. All I wanted to do was to make things better for her and I continue to just be a bastard without even trying.  
"I'm sorry. I was only..." It was now or never. "Will you please read the letter?" She nodded her head and walked away from me. My heart was screaming for her to return, but my head knew that this was not going to be easy for either of us.  
BPOV  
I wanted to run away, but I knew with my clumsiness I would not make the exit that I could see myself making in my head. Edward was here. He was going to school here!  
I looked down at the nearly wadded up paper in my hands and I glanced over my shoulder where I had left him standing. Edward was heading towards the parking lot and I noticed that had his head down and he was limping. It had to be from when I shot him. The tears were flowing more freely now. Though I often did my best to not talk about him, Edward was almost constantly in my thoughts. Even though he had said that he didn't love me anymore, I couldn't make my heart feel the same. My heart had only been and would only be his forever. I knew that I wouldn't be able to work today, so I pulled out my cell and called my editor telling her that I had a headache and needed to rest.  
She was worried that I wouldn't make it to tomorrow's football game, but I assured her that I wouldn't miss it for the world. I needed to get to the shelter of my house, so I could digest what had just happened.  
It was like time was standing still on the drive home. Jake and Emily wouldn't be back for a few hours yet. I got back to the house and went to my room and locked myself inside. I grabbed his letter and stared at it. The longer I looked at, the more pissed off I got. How fucking dare he come into my life now! I wadded the letter up and threw it across the room. This is my damn time to shine. I had just found out how to live my life without him in it and he shows up and turns my world upside down and inside out!  
I was happy. As happy as I could be, without him loving me the way that I knew I would always love him. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to break things. I wanted to hurt him the way that the fucker hurt me. He destroyed me, left me in tatters, left my heart bleeding and bruised. I never thought I would be able to live in a world where he didn't exist, but I did. It had been a long and bumpy road, but I loved this life. It may not have been the life that I imagined having a year ago, but it was a world that I created for myself. It felt so good to live for myself and not someone else.  
I was pacing my room like a caged animal longing to make its escape to freedom. Edward's damn letter was calling to me from across the room like a siren. Why in the hell after all this time did he have something to say to me. He said that he hated me, that he wanted nothing to do with me. His restraining order against me had said that loud and fucking clear. I walked towards the letter cautiously and picked it up from the ground. It was worn, the edges and the folds tattered. It had obviously been in his wallet a long time. I opened it and not reading a word, saw Edward's elegant script before me. I rubbed my hands over the words not seeing them. I noticed some of the ink was smudged, like it had gotten wet. It almost looked like someone had cried while reading it. The Edward that I knew would never shed a tear for me or anyone else for that matter even though I had like shed millions upon millions of tears for him.  
I sat down on the edge of my bed. There was no going back. What was so important for him to tell me that he carried this letter everywhere he went? I took a deep breath and prepared myself to read the words that I hoped wouldn't haunt me for the rest of my life.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Bella -  
What I really wanted to write to you was "Dearest Bella," but I know that I don't deserve to be able to tell you that. I really don't know where to begin. Chances are that I will never be able see you to give this to you, with the restraining order, and how I reacted after the shooting... and I know that with everything that went on, well...  
To say that I'm sorry... "sorry" isn't even enough for all of the pain that I caused you. It took me almost dying, actually it was because I was trying to force myself to get better when I wasn't ready, and I tried to find my peace in a bottle of pills; to bring myself the peace that I really didn't deserve, and I literally died and had to be brought back. I was finally able to see myself as everyone else has seen me. It wasn't a pretty picture, but it was about damn time for me to face the fact that I've been a horrible, self-centered, miserable motherfucker to everybody that I've ever come in contact with. I've hurt so many people, but I hurt you most of all.  
It makes me sick to my stomach, literally causing me much deserved physical pain, when I think of all the times that I hurt you, physically and emotionally. Damn, I close my eyes and I see the bruises that my hands put on you. The times that I yelled at you and made you feel like you were worthless. All of the girls that I thought it was OK to be with, as long as you never found out. Fuck, I'm a monster. I was never worthy of someone like you.  
"Sorry" is the most difficult word I've ever had to say. I was a sick bastard. Hell, that doesn't even come close. It is so hard for me to put into words... Now that our relationship is over, now that you no longer love me because I just wanted to be "the fucking man," I wish I could take all the pain away from you that I caused. The shooting, - I was the one to blame. It was not your fault. I brought everything on myself. It was really my finger on the trigger of the gun. Saying you were a bitch, telling you to leave me the fuck alone, I was the one who you should have said to leave you alone.  
I have learned the hard way that when you make a mistake, when you do someone wrong, when you cause someone any type of pain, you have to do what whatever it takes to fix it. I know you may find this hard to believe, but I've been working on just that, finding everyone and I mean everyone , that I have fucked up in one way or another. You, Bella, you are the person who deserves to hear that it was never you. It was me. It was who I was. I am not the same person anymore. I know that may be hard for you to believe. My parents have said that it was like I was reborn after the doctors revived me. I think they might be right.  
I will never get to see you again, talk to you, touch you, make love to you, tell you that I love you and that you are the most special person in the world, who I would cherish and protect with everything I am and everything that I will be. I will never be at the end of the aisle watching you walk towards me on our wedding day. I will never get to watch your stomach swell with our children. I will never get to grow old and spend the rest of my days with you. If this is the price I have to pay for you how I treated you, it is no less than the price I deserve to pay.  
I would give anything and everything to make you love me again. I will love you until the day I die, and everyday I hope and pray that you are happy. That is what you deserve, to be happy and loved. I'm so sorry that I destroyed the most amazing opportunity that God has ever given me to be happy and loved by you. I pray everyday for you to be happy and healthy. May you find someone that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.  
I will always love you, more than my own life.  
\- Edward  
I curled up on my bed with his letter and cried.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
After I was finally able to stop the tears that Edward's words caused, my anger was back again. How dare he! How fucking dare he tell me these things! He almost died! What the hell happened after I left? My Mom and Dad both told me that he wanted nothing to do with me, yet this letter? Dammit! This letter said that he would always want me. That he still loved me! If he loved me, why did he do what he did? How could he hurt me if he really loved me?  
The asshole wanted to talk. I turned the letter over and saw his number. I didn't think I was ready to hear his voice yet, so I sent him a text.  
It's Bella. R U busy?  
It took me a good five minutes before I could hit the send button. I didn't have to wait long to wait for his response. It's like he could read my mind and knew that he would be hearing from me any minute.  
No. Never 2 busy 4 U.  
Never too busy for me! My anger was getting ready to boil over. That fucker never put me first before. He was always the most important person to himself. Why in the hell would he act like I was it for him?  
If U still want 2 talk meet me at Starbucks on Boyd Street in 30 minutes.  
He responded immediately.  
I'll b there. :)  
A smiley face? I was beginning to wonder if I had even texted the right number or not. I went to my bathroom to try to fix my face. As I turned on the light I cringed as I saw my bloodshot eyes. Wonderful, just what I needed. I found some allergy drops in Emily's bathroom and they burned a little as I put them in my irritated eyes. I was not going to give Edward an inch. If he knew that he was able to still get to me, he would take and take until there was nothing of me left. I was the one with the power now. I finished my make-up and changed into my faded skinny jeans and my favorite OU t-shirt. I dug my new crimson Chucks from the closet and prepared to face my deepest fears.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Luck was at least on my side as I arrived at Starbucks. There was a parking spot in front, so I pulled in, took a deep breath, turned off my baby and went in. I didn't look for him when I got in. I ordered a Mocha Frappuccino and a maple nut pecan scone. I could feel his presence. After all this time, it was like the connection between us had never been severed with the blade of the sharp knife of the multitude of problems that had plagued every facet of our relationship. I still didn't look to see where he was. I found my favorite table in the back corner and made myself comfortable.  
I tore off a small bite of scone and popped it into my mouth. It melted on my tongue and the flavor combined with the frappuccino was divine. I knew that on the outside, for now at least, that I appeared cool and collected. Inside, I was pretty sure that I wasn't as relaxed as I thought, I was having a horrendous panic attack.  
"Bella." His smooth, silky sexy voice still sent chills throughout my body. It wasn't fear that I was feeling. How in the hell could I be aroused by this man who had treated me like I was worthless for years. "May I?" He asked as his head nodded to the chair across from me.  
"Sure." I took another sip of my frap and finally looked up into those jade green eyes. He smiled that crooked smile of his that used to make me drop my panties before I even knew what had come over me. When I didn't smile back, his smile faded away quickly. Did he think he could just waltz in here like nothing had ever happened? I glanced up again and he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  
"Bella, I don't have to stay here. I can sense that I'm making you uncomfortable. You should never be around someone who makes you uncomfortable." He began to get up.  
"Edward, sit down." I couldn't believe how forceful my voice sounded. From the look on Edward's face he couldn't either. He sat back down. I could tell that he was as nervous as I was. His hands kept fidgeting with his coffee cup. "I read your letter."  
With those four words his body became even more tense. "I'm glad that I finally had the opportunity to try to make amends to you for my behavior. For me to continue making strides in my recovery, making amends is very important."  
"Recovery? What are you talking about, Edward? Recovery from what? Being the world's biggest asshole ever?"  
"I deserve that, Bella, and more, so much more." His voice sounded so distant. It almost sounded pained. The Edward I knew would never show weakness to anyone.  
"Yes, you do." I would never be a person's doormat again. If we were in the same town, Edward needed to know that I wasn't going to put up with his old shit ever again.  
"A lot has happened since the last time I saw you, like I mentioned in the letter." He suddenly began to get nervous. "I'm a drug addict, Bella." I couldn't believe my ears. Edward had always liked to party but it was always alcohol. He never touched drugs before. When I still hadn't responded to his comment he continued, "Well, I'm a recovering addict. I haven't had a pill since March. I haven't touched them since the day that I died." I knew that my face registered shock at his words.  
"You really died?" I felt my throat beginning to close up. I fought my emotions, because I never wanted to show him any type of weakness again.  
"Yes, I did. I was dead for ten minutes. Like I said, a lot has happened. I'd like to tell you about it." I nodded my head and Edward began to tell me what had happened to him. He was using his pain medication to help him escape from his life. He even told me about how he broke into the hospital to steal more pills when his prescription had run out. He pushed his body to get better from the gunshot wound to only injure his leg to the point that he would never have full use of it again.  
When he told me that he still attended Narcotics Anonymous meetings, I was surprised. The Edward I had grown up with would never have sought help from others, because he would never have admitted that he needed it. He even told me that Emmett was married and going to be a father. That definitely shocked the hell out of me. Things at the Cullen house had definitely taken a turn. When he mentioned Alice and Jasper being a couple, I wasn't sure how much longer that I could sit and listen to his tale. I missed Alice almost as much as I'd missed Edward. She had been my best friend, my confidant for so long. Not having Alice in my life had been almost as heartbreaking as losing him.  
"You've been quiet." He reached his hand towards me and then pulled it back. "Sorry, I shouldn't be taking such liberties with you, Bella. Forgive my forwardness. I know that being with me is uncomfortable enough for you. I shouldn't even think about touching you, since I know that would be even more uncomfortable for you."  
"You're right, Edward. This has been very hard for me. All of it." Forceful voiced Bella was still in the coffee house.  
"Thank you for listening to me. Like I said in the letter, I am truly sorry for every hurt that I ever caused you. I will leave you alone now." He got up and turned to leave.  
"Wait just a minute, Edward." He turned around and looked at me. "I need to ask you something."  
"Anything, Bella."  
"You said in your letter that you never stopped loving me. You said that you would love me forever. You said that if you could, you would want a life with me. How can that be true when you put a restraining order to keep me away from you?" He face registered shock at my words.  
"Bella, I never put a restraining order on you. You were the one who put one on me."


	16. Chapter 16

BPOV  
"Really, Edward? After all of this talk about making amends and telling the truth, you are telling me that you did not put a restraining order out on me, because I shot you? You haven't changed one fucking bit. You are blaming me for something that is all on you!" I had raised my voice and noticed that people were beginning to look at us. Shit. I needed to reign myself in quickly before I had a total meltdown at one of my absolutely favorite hangouts near OU.  
"Bella, I swear to you. I did not put a restraining order on you. Your dad is a cop. It would have been more than easy for you to do it. It's okay. I understand why you did it. I totally deserved it for everything."  
"Edward, I didn't..." He held up his hand in front of my face to stop me.  
"It is honestly fine. You did what you had to do to protect yourself from me. I wasn't good for you the way that I used to be. I don't know that I could ever really be good enough for you. Like I told you in the letter, you deserve to be happy and the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with should put your happiness above anything else in his life. I promise that I will leave you alone, if that is what you wish. Just please, let me stay here for school. I'm finally happy doing what I can to eventually help others, the way that my physical therapist helped me. Will you do me this one favor and not turn me in for violating your restraining order?"  
Obviously, I was getting no where with Edward right now. I didn't understand why he wouldn't admit it after sharing everything else that he had.  
"Sure. I won't tell anyone you are here, Edward. It would just stir up things for all of us that are better left forgotten." I could just imagine Charlie's and Reneé's reactions if they knew that Edward was here.  
"I promise not to bother you again, Bella. If you ever, I know it isn't very likely, but you have my number. You can call me if you decide you want to... The ball is in your court." He walked towards me, gently kissed me on my forehead. Then Edward turned and left without another word.  
I was left dumbfounded and confused. I was also more than a little turned on, which I internally scolded myself for. I had dreamt for months of having his lips touch me again. His lips would roam all over my entire body bringing unimaginable pleasure. I shook my head trying to get rid of that image. That wasn't something that I needed in my new life, or was it?  
I picked up what was left of my favorite treats and threw them in the trash. I couldn't finish them if I wanted to. Right now, it wasn't a matter of wanting, I needed to find out the truth about the restraining order. Edward seemed so adamant that he hadn't put a restraining order on me and that it had been me who had put one on him. As I got in my car, I got an idea of how I could get the truth. I just had to bide my time for a little bit.  
EPOV  
I was sitting in my car waiting for Bella to leave Starbucks. I wanted to make sure that she made it to her car OK. I was shocked to see that she got into a fucking Aston Martin when she left. What the hell? How could she afford a car that cost over $200K?  
I started my Volvo and decided to do some research to see what I had missed in the months since I had last seen and talked to Bella.  
As soon as I got home, I turned on my laptop to start finding some of the answers that I was looking for. In the back of my mind, I knew that this wasn't the smartest idea. I could almost hear my NA sponsor chastising me for even wanting to do this. Bella obviously didn't want me anymore and I would just have to deal with the fact that I was the one responsible for that. While the laptop was connecting to the internet, I picked up the copy of The Oklahoma Daily that I had snagged from the school library. Bella's name was under almost every photo and the photographs were incredible.  
I typed Bella's name into Google and I was astounded by what showed up. A few months ago, she had a photo that made Sports Illustrated. I might not know a lot about photography, but I knew that was something that would be a tremendous accomplishment. I was beyond fucking impressed and proud of her.  
I scrolled further down the page and my eyes bugged out as I saw that Reneé Dwyer, Bella's mom, had won the biggest lottery ever. Wow! That definitely explained the car. As much as it pained me to admit it, Bella didn't need me in her life. She really was better off, but shit, the feel of her skin against my lips as I kissed her forehead. My entire body was still tingling just from that slight touch. It was like I was finally back home where I always belonged. I had no doubt that there would never be anyone else for me. I took a deep breath and prayed that I wouldn't have to witness it, when she did find the one.  
BPOV  
I was sitting on the window seat in my room, curled up with my soothing hot coffee, reading the Sunday newspaper. It was kind of a ritual I had. I got the paper and looked through all of the sales ads for my favorite stores. It was something I used to do with my mom every Sunday, religiously.  
I heard a knock and I slowly rose, as I made my way to the door. I had on my grey sweatpants, my OU hoodie, and my pink fuzzy slippers. I had my hair in a ponytail and I was wearing my glasses too.  
As I reached for the doorknob, I peeked my head out the door, and saw Jacob standing in front of me, dripping in sweat. Ewe.  
"Hey, Jake. What's up?" I asked, curious as to why he's at my bedroom door, sweating like he just ran a marathon.  
"I was doing my 10 mile run and I had a thought. Are you by any chance doing anything later? I thought maybe you'd want to go out to dinner with me?"  
Jacob was a little red, but I wasn't sure if it was due to the running, or him gaining enough courage to actually ask me out.  
"Like a date?" I asked him.  
"Yes, exactly like a date." He smiled his bright smile and his dimples almost winked at me.  
I sat there quietly and thought about it. I tried thinking about all the pros and cons of going out on a date with Jacob. I understood that Edward was here at this school, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't go out on a date with someone else, like Jake. I don't even know if Edward and I can even be friends right now or ever again. Besides, Jacob and I have grown quite close. I think of him as a very dear friend. Could we be more? What if things didn't work out? Would it ruin our friendship?  
Just as Jacob saw the hesitation in my eyes, he started to tell me to just forget it.  
"Listen, Bella. If yo-..." I immediately cut him off, and he let out a long winded breath.  
"Yes. I'll go out to dinner with you tonight, Jake. What time should I be ready?" I figured what did I have to lose? It was one date. We would see how it went.  
"Really? Uh... How about seven o'clock? There's a great place called Benvenuti's Ristorante that I would love to take you to," Jake said with the biggest grin that I can only explain as huge. It was like he just got the best Christmas present in the world. It was kind of cute.  
"That sounds great. Although, I hope I have something appropriate to wear," I said. I tried to think about what I had in my closet since it was a formal restaurant.  
"Come on, Bella. We both know Renee bought you tons of clothes and you should be able to find something," Jacob said with a smirk. He was right. He and Emily were the ones who helped me unpack when we moved here. Mom had gone overboard with her lottery winnings.  
"Alright then, I'll see you at seven," I said, as Jacob made his way to his room. He stood and looked over his shoulder at me at the threshold of his door still smiling.  
"Bye, Bella. See you soon."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Emily tapped lightly on my door, as she slowly entered my bedroom.  
"Did you need any help getting ready," she asked, as she made her way towards me, sitting down next to me on my bench in front of my vanity mirror.  
"I'm just putting the finishing touches on my make up, before I put my dress on."  
"Your smokey eyes look hot, B!" Emily gushed, as she dug around in my makeup bag. I really loved the brown and black eye shadows blended together. It made my eyes pop. I put just a hint of blush that is called "Deep Throat" and a really cool shade of pink lip gloss, called "Sexual Healing". Coincidence? I thought not!  
"Thanks! My mom got me this Reem Arca dress. I didn't think I would ever really use it. Can you look in my closet for my black Jimmy Choo peep toe slingbacks, while I put my dress on please?"  
Emily made her way to my closet, and as she was digging around for my Choo's, I slipped my dress on.  
"Damn, girl... You look hot!" She beamed at me, while handing me my pumps.  
"Can you zip me up, please? I have this belt, too. What do you think?" I said, as I did a little twirl for Emily. I was nervous and wanted to look nice. It's not everyday I get asked out on a date.  
"Oh, Bella... If he didn't already live here, I know Jake would definitely be coming home with you tonight!" Emily laughed, until she was in tears.  
"What kind of girl do you take me for? I don't put out on the first date," I giggled.  
"Hell, when you open that door and see what Jacob is wearing, you might change your mind." Emily all but practically licked her lips at that last statement.  
I grabbed my clutch, and put in my black AMEX card, my car keys, my iphone and my lip gloss, and headed to my bedroom door.  
I took in one large breath, gave myself a little pep talk telling myself that I could do this, and placed my sweaty hand on the doorknob and turned.  
JPOV  
I've been sitting here by myself for the last 20 minutes, and I keep running my dinner plans over in my head, making sure I didn't forget anything.  
I was in the flower shop earlier today, to pick up flowers for Bella. What kind of flowers do you buy for a first date? We weren't going to prom, so a corsage was out. Roses say I love you, carnations are a douche-type of flower, one rose would mean I'm a cheap skate, so I decided on a Rose and Calla Lily bouquet that the sales lady had recommended to me.  
As I heard the door quietly open, it felt as if everything was going in slow motion. Bella appeared in front of me, and had the most beautiful smile on her face. I rose and stood up, not knowing what to say or do. I barely remembered to breathe in and out.  
"Hi, Bella. You look gorgeous," I said, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the cheek.  
"Thanks, Jake. You look great too," Bella stated nervously, as she turned a hot color of pink.  
"I got you some flowers and a couple of gifts." I hope it wasn't overkill. My dad always taught me never show up to a date empty handed.  
"Oh wow, Jacob. You didn't have to do all that, but thank you very much. The flowers are beautiful," said Bella. She smelled the flowers, as she walked into the kitchen to grab a vase.  
"It wasn't any trouble at all. Billy would kill me if I hadn't of brought you anything. He raised me better than that," I winked. "Come and open your gifts."  
Bella walked over to me and we sat on the couch, as I placed gold box on her lap. She smiled and started to open it.  
"Almond Roca? Jake, how did you know that this is my favorite kind of candy!" Bella said, throwing her arm around my shoulder.  
"I called Charlie. He told me, when I asked his for his permission to take you out on this date."  
"Wha.. what? Why would you do that? It's just a first date, Jacob." "I don't want Charlie to think I'm in a serious relationship, until I figure things out," Bella said.  
"I know, but like I said, Billy brought me up better than that. I explained to Charlie that it was just to test the waters. He was cool with it." I was just hoping Bella wasn't having second thoughts.  
"Open your other gift. I know it may be lame, but the last time I was at my grandfather's and he showed me some new pointers. Anyway, so I made you something." Bella began opening the salmon colored box. I couldn't wait to see her reaction.  
"Oh my god, Jake! You made this? It's great," she exclaimed, as she pulled out the wolf charm bracelet, that I had carved for her. My family had passed down the art of wood carving for generations. It was something that I loved to do in my spare time and it came very easily to me.  
"It's nothing big, but I was hoping that you'd like it," I said, as she stuck her wrist out for me to clasp the bracelet on her.  
"There. Come on, let's get going."  
BPOV  
As Jake and I said our good-byes to Emily, we decided to take my car, since Jacob was still fixing up the Rabbit that he bought when we first got to Norman. Jake was the perfect gentleman. He opened the door for me and held my hand, as I stepped into the car. Jake shut the door and walked around to the driver's side of the car and got in.  
Jacob sat down and complained about having to scoot the seat back, because I was so much shorter than him. Once he got as comfortable as he could, he adjusted my mirrors. It was not my fault he was buff with very nicely defined muscles from head to toe, and he took up my whole front seat! And great, now I had to fix all of that when we get home!  
Jacob drove and talked to me about class, and held my hand the entire time. He has this magnetic smile, that you couldn't help but be in a great mood too. Jacob made me feel better. I mean, he made me feel alive. The hole in my chest... well, when I was with Jake it was like it was almost healed for a while.  
We pulled up to a beautiful red brick restaurant, with a green deck and lots of greenery that surrounded it. It was absolutely lovely.  
"Wait here," Jacob said as he parked the car. He walked around to the passenger side of the car, and opened the door for me. He reached in and gently grabbed my hand and helped me out of the car. We walked into the restaurant where a fairly large, older man was waiting for us.  
"Signore Jacob, how are you?" the older man asked him. He shook Jake's hand and introduced himself to me, as Chef Compagni. He looked rather intimidating. He didn't even crack a smile whatsoever.  
"I have the Blue Room reserved for you, just as you requested, Signore Jacob. If you will please follow your cameriere, I will get back into the kitchen," said Chef Compagni, as he nodded to Jake and kissed my hand.  
Jacob still holding my hand, lead me to my seat. Being with Jake made me feel safe and secure. When I met with Edward the other day, I was on pins and needles the entire time just waiting for him to show his true colors like he always had in the past. I knew Jake would protect me with his own life, but something felt a little "off." I just didn't know precisely what it was.  
Jake pulled out my chair for me and moved directly across from me to his. The table was a little big for just for the two of us, so our server removed the extra chairs.  
"Jacob, this place is beautiful. Thank you so much for bringing me here," I said as I looked over my menu. It wasn't a surprise that he would rent us a private room. After the accident that left his dad in a wheelchair, the family received an unfathomable amount of a settlement. Billy had invested the money very wisely and the interest from the settlement was more than enough to keep them in the lap of luxury for avery long time.  
"It's my pleasure, Bella. You deserve the best, and so much more. You deserve the world," Jake said, while looking into my eyes. This felt odd. I can't put my finger on it, but something didn't feel right.  
"So, do you know what you're ordering? I think I'm going to order the Mushroom Rigatoni," I kept my face planted in front of the center of the menu.  
"I'm ordering the Bistecca di Santo. It looks really good," Jacob said. I should have known Jake was going to order the biggest steak on the menu. All that protein was probably why he was so huge. Hello biceps!  
The conversation Jake and I had was very easy going. We talked about how he and Billy were planning a fishing trip together during Thanksgiving break. I started to zone out on him after a while, because my mind kept going back to Edward.  
"Hey Bella, you still with me?"Jake had scooted his chair next to mine and was waving his hand up and down in front of my face. I had to snap out of it!  
"I'm sorry, Jacob. I guess I had my mind somewhere else." I didn't mean to be rude to him.  
"Somewhere else or on someone else? Look, I know what he did to you. But, Bella, I would never, ever do that. I won't ever hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me." Jacob then leaned in, looked into my eyes, and kissed me. I mean really kissed me. And I kissed him back.  
I know that Jacob would never, could never, treat me the way Edward did. But a big part of me really wanted to believe there was this new and improved Edward. I'm just unsure about everything and how I feel right now.  
Jacob really was a great guy, and it made sense for me to like him. But I just couldn't get into the kiss. Don't get me wrong, Jake was a great kisser, but there was no emotional feeling behind the kiss. I felt strangely detached.  
Just then, our server brought us the dessert menu and we decided on the Molten Chocolate Truffle Soufflé, and let me tell you, it was a little piece of heaven! It was so moist and chocolaty and oh so yummy! It was almost orgasmic.  
"Are you ready to go Bella," Jake said as he signed the bill and stood up reaching out his hand for me to take.  
"Yes, thank you. I had a wonderful evening, Jacob." I didn't know really what else to say and I didn't want it to be awkward between us.  
"Jake, about what you said before our kiss. About how you would never hurt me? I honestly believe that. You know you mean the world to me." He walked me to the passenger side of the car and leaned me up against the door.  
Jacob put his hand under my chin, tilted my face, and kissed me. I really wanted to like Jake, I did. We wrapped out arms around each other and I gave it all I had. Still, nothing. It was a hollow feeling of nothingness. As he broke the kiss, and stepped back, he put me in the car and then got in.  
The drive home was quiet. I could tell Jacob was thinking hard. I could almost hear the wheels turning in his. He had this vein in his forehead that kept popping out, every time he squinted. I needed to talk to Jacob before things got out of hand.  
Jacob parked the car when we got home and helped me out.  
"Listen, Jake." I said at the same time he had said, "Bella, there's something I need to say."  
"You go first," Jacob had said, opening the front door to our house. I made my way to the couch, sat down and pulled off my heels and sighed in relief. My feet would have much preferred to have been in my chucks all night. Jacob sat down next to me, pulling my feet onto his lap and massaged them for me.  
"I just wanted to say, I miss you when you're not there. When you're happy, it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You're family. I love you, but I'm not in love with you."  
"Oh, thank God, Bella. I was trying to find a way to tell you that I think I'd rather be friends, than to try and pursue any type of a romantic relationship with you. When we kissed, it felt as if I were kissing my sister... Not that I know what kissing my sister like that would feel like," Jacob laughed.  
"So no hard feelings? I just want us to be best friends. I mean, we tried the dating thing, and it didn't work out for us, but I really just want you to be happy, Jake." I really meant that with all that I was, too.  
"No hard feelings, Bells. I just want you to be happy too. I hope whoever he is, he treats you right, or else he'll have to deal with me. Your Mr. Right will show up when you least expect it. Just wait and see."  
"I hope so, Jake. I hope so." In the back of my mind, I was wondering if Mr. Right could have showed up at the student union with his brilliant green eyes. I definitely wasn't ready for that if he was.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EPOV  
I was driving down Main Street on my way to chill at Griffin Park. I liked to watch the little league games that were constantly going on there. It was nice to watch them and remember how Em and I were at that age. We were definitely hell on wheels. I also watched people who were definitely old enough to know better, people my parents' age, playing kick ball. That was definitely an entertaining sight watching guys with their beer bellies hanging out of their worn t-shirts while chasing after a fucking bounce ball.  
While waiting at a stoplight, a car, a very familiar car, caught my eye. It was Bella's but she wasn't alone. Fuck me. My worst nightmare had become a reality. I saw a tall, dark complected guy walk Bella to the passenger's side door. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up and kissed her. It wasn't just a God damn peck either. They wrapped their arms around each other. It was like a motherfucking car wreck that I couldn't tear my eyes away from. I was nauseous and wanted to crawl in a hole and never get out. This was the worst pain I had ever felt, worse than being shot, worse than having my leg torn to pieces. I told myself that this was what needed to happen. I really did want nothing but the best for her after all the years that I was such a fucked up asshole to her.  
My hands started to shake uncontrollably. It was getting hard for me to catch my breath. There was only one thing that I could think of that could help me get myself under right now. I needed to find the next NA meeting. I needed it now.  
BPOV  
I did give it the old college try. I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I remembered what it was like to kiss Jacob. Shit. It was like I kissed my brother. That was beyond nasty. The kiss Edward gave me a few days ago on the forehead was the hottest kiss ever compared to... I couldn't let myself dwell on that bust of a date anymore. Emily seemed to enjoy the story of our failed date. She laughed her ass off when I told her that I poured myself into a kiss and got absolutely nothing out of it. I got this weird vibe from Emily that she was almost relieved that the date was a total failure.  
After my experience with Jake, I spent a near sleepless night. I was wondering if there was something wrong with me. Jake was such a sweet guy. Why couldn't we like each other that way? It would definitely make things so much easier for me.  
My thoughts strayed to Edward. I hadn't told a soul that I had seen him and that he was here. I closed my eyes and I could see his face when he was talking to me about the restraining orders. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that he was telling me what he really thought was the truth. The truth. That was definitely something that I had no experience with when it came to Edward. I had this feeling and I couldn't figure out what it was exactly, but I knew that I had to find out what was going on.  
It was Monday and we had a few hours before we had to get to class. Jake had left for an early run and Emily and I were having Fruity Pebbles for breakfast. I knew if anyone could find the answers that I was seeking it would be her. She never failed to get her man. It was amazing to see reporter Emily in action. Everyone answered every question she ever asked. She had such a way with people they just couldn't tell her no or even no comment. If Emily was interviewing the most tight-lipped celebrity, she could make them feel comfortable enough to admit who they were dating, even if that celebrity always blatantly refused to talk about their personal life.  
"Bella, you seem really lost in thought. Is everything OK?"  
"Everything is fine, Em. Just got a lot on my mind." That was definitely an understatement.  
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? You are my best friend. Friends are always there for each other no matter what." I smiled her.  
"I definitely know that. I couldn't imagine anyone else that I would want in my corner with me other than you." She grinned back at me and laughed. "You may be little, but you are definitely mighty." We both laughed until we were on the verge of tears.  
"Oh, Bella. I am so glad that you came into my life. I have no idea what I would do without you." Emily was always so sincere and never said anything that she didn't mean. As much as I loved hearing these words from her, a part of my heart ached for the best friend that abandoned me in one of my greatest hours of need.  
"I am so blessed to have you as a friend, too. You are amazingly tenacious and I really need that." I winked at her. "Um, Em. I was wondering if you might be able to help me with something. You can't tell anyone about this, okay?"  
"Anything, Bella. You know that. What do you need?"  
"Well, don't get mad, please. I have to know..." I knew that she wasn't going to be pleased with my request. I took a deep breath. "You know about everything about what happened with me and..." She's going to wonder why I would be bringing up his name now. I haven't mentioned him in months. I didn't have to mention him. Her expression changed quickly to one that could only be classified as anger.  
"You don't have to say his name. Jake and I know how painful that was for you. You haven't even come close to mentioning him in a long time. You said that you have to know something. What is it?"  
"When I was in Arizona with my mom, she told me that Edward had put a restraining order on me and well... I just wanted to know what that meant. What was the official reason that he got one? I think I know, but lately I've just been doing a lot of thinking. Is there anyway that you can check? I also know that he pissed a lot of people off. Maybe he got the idea because someone put one on him?" I was literally thinking out loud now. I so didn't think this through as well as I should have. Emily was going to see right through me. My mom had always told me that I was an open book.  
"After all these months, Bella, why now?"  
"The other day when I was walking across campus, I saw a bronzed hair guy about his height and I thought it was him." Emily started at my words.  
"Oh my God! He's here! What the..."  
"No, Em," I said almost too quickly. "It wasn't him, but it made me think that he could be anywhere. He could be doing anything. It could have been him. What if I accidentally violated the order unknowingly?" I didn't know where this was coming from but I could see that she could see my point clearly.  
"I guess I can see why you'd be curious. What do you need me to do?"  
"Please check into the specifications on the order he put out on me. Is it also possible to see if someone put one on him?"  
"I can do that. Anything to put your mind at ease. I bet he has had so many put out on him, because he's been such an ass to the world, that it will take an entire ream of paper to print them all." She laughed and I did my absolute best to laugh with her. "I will call the courthouse in Forks later today." She glanced at the clock. "It's just 7am there, so the courthouse won't be open yet. I will let you know tonight what I find out."  
"Thanks so much. You are the best, Em." I reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. She squeezed mine back giving me the much needed reassurance that I was desperate for right now.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I spent the day in classes and when I went for my chocolate fix at Wendy's, I was looking over my shoulder constantly for Edward. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him or not. Every moment of the day I kept getting more and more filled with dread and there was no reason at all that I should be feeling this way.  
I didn't have much to do at work today. I had snapped a few great candids while walking around campus earlier and uploaded those to the server. Then I cobbed a few pictures for some of the yearbook layouts. It took a steady hand to get the images cut from the background perfectly. It was very easy for me to lose myself in the task, since it took such much patience to cut around strands of hair and not to cut people's limbs from their bodies.  
As I pulled into the driveway, the sense of foreboding returned. My palms were sweating and it almost felt like my heart would beat out of my chest.  
When I opened the door, Emily was waiting for me in the living room. "Hey, Em. How was your day?"  
"It was definitely very, very interesting, Bells. Have a seat. We need to talk." I put my camera on the table by the front door, dropped my backpack on the floor and almost collapsed onto the couch next to her.  
"You're kind of freaking me out a little here. Did you find out anything?"  
"It was undoubtedly an enlightening experience. I don't know where your parents got the idea that Edward had put a restraining order on you. The courthouse had no record of that at all."  
"What?" Edward had told me the truth. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. "What about..." Typical Emily didn't even get me a chance to get my next question out.  
"In regards to Edward, there was only one record of a restraining order against him." Certainly my dad didn't do what I was thinking he did. "It was by a Mike Newton. A week after the order was issued, Newton had it vacated."  
I remembered why that order had been created and cringed at the childishness of my behavior from that night with Mike. I had been a fucking fool to think that being with Mike would erase Edward from my memory. It was looking like nothing could ever force me to forget him.  
"If there was never a restraining order against me, why would both of my parents have told me that there was?" I asked her. "My dad is a cop for Christ's sake. He would have known if there was an order or not." I was starting to get a little angry now.  
"Maybe it was just a threat his family made and your father told you there was one so his family wouldn't be forced to put one on you. You said that they were more than angry about everything that happened." That was one of the things that I loved most about Emily. She was always able to look at all the possibilities. She was definitely going to be the next Woodward or Bernstein.  
"You're probably right. I don't know why I'm getting so riled up over this. Just the possibility that they could have lied to me about something so important, I don't think I could ever forgive them if they did that to me." Honesty was something that I now put above everything else. That was one of the reasons that I loved my friendships with Jake and Emily so much. They never hesitated to tell me like it was, even it if was the last thing that I wanted to hear. I needed that brutal honesty to keep my head out of my ass.  
"At least you know now. You don't have to worry about anything if you ever were to run into him. God willing you will never have to lay eyes on that lying sack of shit again."  
"It is a load off of my mind. You know how I like to worry." I tried my best to laugh it off.  
"You always seem to stew over even the slightest thing my dear friend."  
"Ha ha. Good one," I told her. "Thanks so much for looking into this for me, Em. You didn't have to do that and it means the world to me that you did."  
"You're welcome. That's what friends are for." I reached down and grabbed my bag.  
"I've got tons of homework to do. Talk to you later."  
"Sounds good. You going to be around for dinner tonight?" Emily asked me.  
"Not sure. I may need to go to the library later tonight to do some research for a project."  
"OK. Just let me know. Jake mentioned that he might want to eat out tonight. Mind if we go without you?" She blushed as she spoke. Looks like Jake had asked out the wrong roommate first. I wondered if he felt the same way that apparently Em might feel about him.  
"I don't mind at all, Em. Living with Charlie, I definitely learned how to fend for myself. Have a great time with Jake," I said I headed to the office to work. Her blush intensified.  
"Thanks, Bells. Good luck with your project."  
I couldn't wait until tomorrow to find out how dinner went.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I couldn't focus on anything at all. My thoughts kept swirling back to Edward. I wondered if it was possible for us to at least be friends. We were going to be going to school at the same place for years. We could at least learn to be civil with one another. My cell phone was calling out to me to do it already.  
I did know one thing for sure. I needed to tell Edward what Emily had found out for me today. He needed to know the whole truth since the truth was his evidently new thing. I snorted to myself. Who would have ever thought that Edward -I'm the fucking king of the world- Cullen would ever believe in something like the truth.  
With trembling hands, I typed him a message.  
It's me. I've got some news. Can you meet me? -B  
Always. Name the time and the place. -E  
Library Bar and Grill in an hour? -B  
I look forward to it. -E  
He was already waiting for me in the patio area when I arrived at the restaurant.  
"Bella, it's so good to see you," he said as he pulled out my chair for me. This was something new. He had never been a gentleman before."It's such a nice night, I didn't think you would mind being outside."  
"This is perfect, Edward. Thank you." I picked up the menu and read over everything, even though my appetite was waning by the minute.  
The waitress came and dropped off a basket of chips with salsa. I ordered a Coke and a Library Salad while Edward ordered a Cherry Coke and a Chicago Dog.  
"I've heard this was really good," he said as he popped a salsa covered chip in his mouth.  
"It's delicious." I grabbed a chip and tore off a small piece and popped it in my mouth.  
"I have to admit, I was more than surprised to hear from you today." Edward smiled that crooked smile of his that had always drawn me in.  
"I surprised myself, too." I bit my lip trying to find a way to control my growing nervousness. He looked as nervous as I felt.  
"So, you said you had some news. Is everything OK, Bella?"  
"Everything is fine. It's more than fine, actually. After our conversation the other night, I knew that I needed some answers, so I had my friend Emily do some digging for me since I was too chicken to find out myself."  
"What did you need to know?" His voice was so full of concern. This new Edward was someone that was so very different than the one I had known. He had so many facets that every moment it seemed I was finding out something new about him. How was that possible when we had spent years of our lives together? I thought that I knew everything that there was to know about Edward Anthony Cullen.  
"About the restraining order issue."  
"So, what did you find out? I already know that I never put one out on you."  
"You were right about that. You didn't put one on me." He didn't look smug like I expected. He just looked resigned. "All I knew was what my parents told me. They told me that you had."  
"I can understand why you would have believed them so easily, Bella. I said things that were awful and I behaved inhumanly towards you."  
"There is something else. You said that I had placed an order against you. My friend Emily did find one order that had been filed against you, but it wasn't by me. It was the one that Mike Newton had filed against you." This news did seem to startle him somewhat.  
"My parents are the ones who told me that you had placed one on me, as well. You really didn't do that?"  
"No, Edward, I didn't. I have no reason to lie to you. Back then, after everything that had happened, I still loved you with everything I had. I would have never wanted to hurt you and a restraining order would have done that." He paused and I could almost hear him thinking.  
"I can imagine the heated words that would have been exchanged between our parents. Maybe they just misunderstood each other," he said thoughtfully.  
"That is what Emily thought. She also said that they could have threatened the order and didn't follow through." He nodded in agreement.  
"That is a possibility as well. I have to admit. I feel much better now that I know for sure that I can't get in any trouble for being near you." He smiled that crooked smile again and made my heartbeat accelerate rapidly. The waitress brought us our food and looked at Edward. Her eyes were filled with lust.  
"Is there anything else I can get you?" She asked him. "Anything at all?" She batted her eyelashes at him. I had to stifle a laugh at her ridiculously outrageous behavior.  
"A refill on our drinks please." He didn't even make eye contact as he answered her. How had he suddenly become oblivious to the opposite sex. He used to look at them then attack them as they threw themselves at him. I was never enough for him before. He had always taken anything that he wanted from whomever he wanted.  
"It looks like you are still dazzling people like you always have."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"The waitress, Edward. She did everything but sit on your lap and dry hump you." I laughed at him.  
"I honestly didn't notice, Bella. I am still in awe that after everything you are willing to be here with me. Right now, you are the one who has my undivided attention."  
He paused and his nervousness seemed to suddenly increase. "Bella, I know that you have moved on. I hope he makes you very happy. You have a light in your eyes I haven't seen in a very long time. I hope that he is the one who will make that light shine brighter than ever before."  
"What are you talking about Edward?"  
"I saw you with that tall guy in the parking lot at some fancy restaurant while I was out driving the other night." Edward was looking so uncomfortable which was something I was not used to seeing from Mr. Confident. "You were kissing him and you both seemed so wrapped up in one another." His voice cracked a little at the end.  
I was almost stunned into silence with those words. I was shocked that he had seen Jake and I on our date. Hell, I couldn't even call it a date. It was more like dinner with my brother. Jake was definitely not the one for me. That much my head and my heart were in agreement on. One of the major things that surprised me was his reaction to seeing us together. The old Edward would have pummeled Jake into pieces immediately after seeing him all over his possession. This new Edward, I could almost picture him being some part of my life. What part of my life? My heart and my head were contradicting each other in regards to that answer.  
"He is just a friend Edward, and that's all that he will ever be." Edward released a huge breath with that revelation. I knew that I needed to be very cautious with the next words that left my mouth. I had just now made an important decision and he needed to know where I stood. I wanted him to understand exactly what I wanted from him. "I've done a lot of thinking about you and me. I've decided..."


	17. Chapter 17

EPOV  
"He is just a friend Edward, and that's all that he will ever be," Bella told me. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Bella was single. He was just a friend. I knew that I had no right to have any kind of hope of having any type of relationship with her. The look on her face started to make me a little nervous. I knew that look and it was one of a very determined Bella. After what felt like forever she continued, "I've done a lot of thinking about you and me. I've decided..."  
She stopped and took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. "Edward, we are both very different people than we were when we were together."  
I nodded in agreement. I was getting nothing more than I expected. I'd fucking almost destroyed the most amazing person ever with my callousness and destructive behavior. I. Was. A. Fuck-up. I didn't deserve to breathe the same air as Bella. I had changed a lot from who I was when we were together before. My family told me it was like I had been reborn another person after my near death experience. I opened my mouth to respond and tell her it was OK for us to go our separate ways with no hard feelings, but Bella put up her hands for me to stop before I could even start.  
"I would like to try to be friends with you. We both caused each other so much pain and suffering in the past and that has left some deep wounds for me, so I have some conditions."  
"Anything you want Bella. It's yours." My voice was shaky. She was going to give me a chance that I knew I didn't deserve. If she was willing to grant me this, there would be nothing I wouldn't do for her.  
"First, no lies at all. I don't care if we think it will hurt each other's feelings. We have to be honest with each other about everything. Second, until I am more comfortable with who you are now, I only want to meet you in public. Lastly, all I can promise you is friendship right now, Edward. If you can deal with those conditions, I am willing to get to know the new you."  
"I can definitely agree to all of that. I am very honored that you are going to give me a chance to show you how much I have changed. I'm so delighted that I am also going to get to know who you are now as well." I reached out my hand to her. "Hello, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen."  
Bella smiled genuinely back at me as she reached out her hand. I clasped her palm gently but firmly in mine. "I'm Bella Swan."  
"It's nice to meet you, Bella."  
BPOV  
That damn crooked grin of his as he shook my hand, well... dammit, it got to me like it always had. I wanted to kick my own ass that it was all that it took from him to soak my fucking panties. If things kept up like this, I would have to take matters into my own hands.  
Edward and I enjoyed the rest of our dinner at the Library and then walked down the street to Braum's, where we shared a brownie fudge sundae with extra whipped cream. I might not be getting any like my traitorous body was craving, but at least I was getting my chocolate fix.  
I was excited and nervous about this opportunity to try to be friends with the man who had shattered my heart, body, mind and soul. It was blatantly obvious that he was not the same and I had to admit to myself that I really had to know this new Edward. My head had huge doubts, but my heart had never stopped loving him and my heart longed for me to spend the rest of my life with him.  
It didn't even occur to me that the house was darker than usual when I got back from dinner with Edward. Jake's Rabbit was in the driveway so he had to be home and he never crashed this early.  
As I walked into the darkened house, I definitely heard something that didn't sound right. I grabbed the umbrella by the front door, not the best weapon of choice, but it was something, and turned on the light. I was greeted with seeing much more of my roommates that I had anticipated. Emily and Jake were going at it, hot and heavy on our couch. Jake's shirt was off and his pants unbuttoned with Emily's hands groping his crotch. Emily's shirt, well, it might has well been off because I was currently getting flashed. Obviously they were very into each other, since they hadn't even noticed that I had come in and turned on the lights.  
I turned around and cleared my throat. "Guys, while I am glad that someone around here is getting some, I would prefer not to watch it happen before my eyes."  
"Shit, Bella, sorry." Jacob murmured.  
"Can you please let me know when you are decent so I can turn around?" Only a few seconds passed before I was given the all clear.  
"Um, you can turn around now. We are at least covered now," Emily said. When I turned around her face was so red, a stoplight would pale in comparison. "Bells, I am so damn embarrassed. You're not mad about this are you?" This was the first time that Emily had ever seemed uncomfortable around me. While I understood why, I couldn't stand it.  
"Not at all. If you are happy together, I am very happy for you both." I honestly meant this. My best friends only deserved the best. If it was each other, I knew that I would definitely get along with their significant other. "I guess I don't have to ask how your dessert was tonight." I joked with them causing Emily's face to blush crimson again. Her faced matched the school colors. Priceless.  
"Ha Ha, Bells. Good one," Jake said as he protectively wrapped his arm around Emily's waist and pulled her close to him. She tilted her face up and they smiled longingly at each other. His hand gently squeezed her hip in a reassuring gesture causing Emily's face to erupt into the biggest smile I had ever seen. Jake's face soon mirrored Emily's. How I missed that and wanted it again.  
"You two are just so damn adorable together."  
"Thanks, Bella." Jake said as he looked at the clock. "You were out kind of late tonight and you look, well I can't put my finger on it, but there is something definitely different about you tonight."  
These were my two best friends and there was no way that I could tell them the truth about what I had done tonight. That was ironic considering that was one of the loopholes I had given Edward. As much as I wanted to, I could not tell Jake and Emily that the prospect of spending time with Edward, who they only knew as evil incarnate, was the reason why. "I did have a good evening." I couldn't stop the smile that was swiftly forming on my lips.  
"You met someone. Didn't you?" Emily almost screamed at me with her excitement.  
I took a calming breath before I answered her question. I needed those few extra seconds to formulate my answer to her. Right now Edward was, well, basically my dirty little secret. "There is someone, but we are just friends."  
"Sure you are, Bells," Jake told me. "You're friends with benefits." He came up and punched me in the arm.  
"Nope, Jake, we're just friends." I told him as I rubbed the spot that he had hit. He was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for.  
"Tell us about him." Emily was almost jumping up and down.  
"I really would just like to keep things to myself for a while. I'd hate for things to blow up in my face. I mean, my track record isn't very good after all." My last comment temporarily knocked the smiles off my best friends' faces. "Guys, don't, please. I'm OK. Great actually. He's just so not what I expected. I've been pleasantly surprised by the turn of events. After we know more about each other, maybe I will share him with you." I winked at them.  
"Gross, Bells. Men are so not my thing." Jake pulled Emily into his embrace and kissed her gently on the temple. I heard Em's sigh from across the room.  
"I can see that. Well, I will leave you two to...whatever." I laughed. "Goodnight. I love you both. See you in the morning."  
"Night." They told me at the same time. They were already speaking the same things at the same time. Jake and Em were definitely going to make a totally adorable couple. Before I shut my bedroom door, I stuck my head back towards the living room. "I really do need some sleep tonight, so try to keep it down." I slammed the door in time to hear something slam against it followed by giggles and another door shutting.  
As I was laying in bed, my thoughts weren't on the two love birds down the hall. All I could think about was Edward and the fact that I was really going to do this. I was willing to give him another chance, something that I just never in my wildest dreams imagined. I just hoped this was something that I wasn't going to regret.  
AlicePOV  
Mom sent me with some zucchini muffins to take Dad at the hospital. To me they were nasty as hell, but Dad was addicted to Mom's muffins. These were hot and moist from the oven and that's the way he liked his muffins best. Mom carefully packed them in a basket wrapping them snugly in cloth napkins and made Jasper and I take a solemn oath to make sure that the muffins got to him as quickly as possible, but didn't care when I got back home after I played delivery girl.  
I was so ready for some time with Jasper. There was this perfect spot where we could just do whatever we wanted with zero interruptions. Those hands and those lips, he could make music with my body like it was a well played harmonica. I couldn't get enough of him and I would never get enough of Jasper.  
We were almost to Dad's office when I just couldn't take our closeness a moment longer. I had to be closer. I pushed Jasper against the wall and attacked him with a searing kiss. Had it not been for his incredible hands, mom's muffins would have hit the floor with a resounding thud.  
He slowed our kiss. "Alice, Baby, we are in the middle of the hospital surrounded by tons of people. Let's save this until I have you all to myself." He kissed me gently as I tried to take the kiss further and he stepped away from me with a huge grin on his face.  
Jasper grabbed my hand and kissed me on the forehead as we walked to my Dad's office. His door was cracked and I could hear his voice. I looked at Jasper and we decided to wait until Dad was finished to deliver his goodies. I cuddled closer to Jasper just enjoying the closeness.  
Dad very rarely picked up a phone to talk. He was a multi-tasker so he'd use the speaker phone so he could make notes on charts or whatever it was that he did. I could hear him on the phone now. I had no intention to eavesdrop and I had no idea about the bombshell that was getting ready to come my way.  
"Someone contacted the courthouse about the restraining orders on Bella and Edward. Do you have any idea who it could have been?" I knew that voice. That was Charlie Swan. Jasper and I looked at each other with shock on our faces and I moved my finger to my lips to tell him to stay quiet as we scooted closer to the door to find out what in the hell was happening.  
"Charlie, I have no clue. It wasn't anyone here. It couldn't have been. No one in the family has questioned the restraining orders at all. Did you get a name of the person who was asking about them?"  
"No, my contact at the court house couldn't get the name who called. All I know is that they know that the caller was told that the restraining orders didn't exist." What. The. Fuck.  
"Shit, that's not the news that I wanted to hear." I heard my Dad say. I could hear frustration and worry in his tone.  
"We have to make sure that Bella and Edward never find out that those orders aren't really in existence, Carlisle. My girl is finally finding out who she is. She is happy. I don't want that ruined by her running back to Edward."  
"I feel the same way. Edward and Bella must stay apart. They weren't good for each other. Charlie, we did what we had to do to protect our kids. Telling them that restraining orders were placed, when they never were, was the best thing that we could have ever done for our children. Edward has finally started to pull his head out of his ass and is really starting to make something out of himself."  
The world as I knew it had abruptly tilted on its axis. Nothing was what it had seemed. I could feel the tears begin to fall freely down my face. I looked up to Jasper and could see horror in his expression. We had all been lied to. I had thought that my best friend had forced my brother to stay away from her when he needed her the most. I had pushed her out of my life because of a lie. A lie that our Dad's, the people who were supposed to protect us from harm, had actually harmed all of us in some way. I shut my eyes and could picture the times that Edward broke down in front of the entire family when he had wanted Bella with him. Dad said that she didn't want him. Edward was shattered and completed destroyed by Dad's words. Words that were never true.  
Bella hadn't abandoned him. She was basically forced away and I did the same thing to her that our Dad's had done. I was close to completely losing it and Jasper could sense the agony that I was feeling. Jasper clasped my hand tightly and he put me behind him as he talked to the nurse at the information desk.  
"These are for Dr. Cullen. Alice isn't feeling well, so I want to take her home. Could you please make sure that he gets them?"  
"Sure thing sweetie," the nurse said. "Hope you feel better soon, Alice." I mumbled my thanks as Jasper and I rushed to his car. As soon as we were in the car I broke down. Jasper pulled me tight against him.  
"I know, Al. I'm so fucking pissed off right now." He was gently rubbing my back trying to console me.  
"She didn't...It wasn't..." I couldn't even talk because of the uncontrollable sobs that had taken hold of my body. "I pushed her away...My best friend..."  
"Sweetheart, it wasn't your fault. I don't know what the hell they were thinking to do this. It didn't just affect Edward and Bella. It affects us all." I finally started to get my crying under control.  
"Jaz, they have to know what they did to them. I have no idea how to make things right with Bella. We don't even know where she is." My best friend might be lost to me forever, but we could at least tell Edward.  
"I don't think I can tell him, Jasper. He deserves to know. Edward needs to know the absolute truth." I swallowed thickly. "Can you..." Before I could even ask Jasper the question, he pulled out his phone. He put the phone on speaker and Edward answered after 2 rings.  
"Hi, Jaz. What's up buddy?" He sounded so cheerful, happy.  
"Edward, Alice and I found out something today."  
"You better not be calling to tell me that you knocked up my sister. I may be a changed man, but if you've done that I'm gonna have to kick your ass."  
"No, E. This does involve a lot of us, but mostly you." Jasper looked and me and I nodded my head. "It's about you and Bella. Carlisle and Charlie lied to you, to all of us. The restraining orders..." I shut off all my emotions as I heard him tell my brother something that was bound to re-shatter his heart that had just began to heal.


	18. Chapter 18

BPOV  
It had been six weeks since Edward and I embarked on this journey to be friends with one another and it had been so much more than I had ever expected. No matter where we went and what we did, he was always a total gentleman. He pulled out my seat for me when we went out to eat. He always opened doors for me. This Edward was the Edward that I had wished I'd known from the start.  
We hung out all over campus between classes. He went with me to all of the football games even though we only got to spend a few minutes together since I was always taking photos. Edward told me that there was no place he'd rather be than where I was. I think my heart overflowed with those words.  
He had stuck to our bargain and followed every rule that I had given him. Even though I had these feelings. Feelings that I wasn't sure I was ready to face again. I wondered if he still did too. His letter told me that he still loved me and he'd always loved me. He never made any type of move on me at all. Maybe friendship was really all that would be possible between us now.  
I thought he was going to make a move at dinner last night, when he moved the hair at the back of my neck as he helped me be seated at the table. My heart and my breathing stopped as I waited for his lips to touch the nape of my neck. Instead of lips, I felt his fingers. Then he sat down in front of me.  
"Sorry about that," Edward told me. "Your tag was sticking out of your shirt." He smiled his crooked smile and I had to fight the urge to throw myself across the table and jump him. Jesus, I needed to get laid, but not here on the patio of a restaurant for Christ's sake.  
"That's fine, Edward. Thanks." My body was humming with anticipation of his next touch, but it didn't happen. He was as always the perfect gentlemen.  
He wasn't always serious. Every time that we went to Griffin Park to watch the adult dodgeball games, we became "announcers." It was like we were Gary Cole and Jason Bateman from the movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. I swear that our comments made Cole's and Bateman's seem tame in comparison. Of course, we didn't sit around others who could hear what we were saying about the "players" or we would have likely gotten our asses kicked.  
Usually our comments had us in tears from laughing so hard at the grown-ups acting like elementary school children, and their beer bellies bouncing around like all the boobs in a typical episode of Baywatch. Just like the movie, Dodgeball, we found a man that reminded us so much of David Hasselholff that we wondered if he had a twin who lived in Oklahoma. I always had my camera with me and I had some very interesting action shots from the games. Too bad that I didn't have permission to publish them.  
One of my favorite moments with Edward was when he took me to his secret spot in the park. We trekked a little off the beaten path. After walking what felt like forever, we broke through the trees and entered what looked like Eden.  
"Edward, this is absolutely beautiful." I looked around struck with total awe of the beauty before me. It was a beautiful meadow filled with every wild flower that Oklahoma had to offer, like the clusters of Blue Sage intermingled with Indian Blankets. Giant Sunflowers stood like guardians at the edge of the meadow overlooking the majesty before us. "How did you find this place?"  
He blushed. Edward, Mr. Tough as Nails, was embarrassed. I touched him gently on the arm.  
"I'd really like to know."  
"The day that I saw you for the first time, I took a break and headed out here to clear my head. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. The next thing I knew, I was here. I was alone in this beautiful, peaceful place. Now whenever I just want to relax I come here and just...be."  
"It's amazing here. Thank you so much for sharing your secret garden with me." We grinned at each other and laid down in the one patch of earth that wasn't covered with gorgeous flowers and we just...were.  
Every time that we were together, things were so simple between us. Slowly, I could feel the lingering anger that I felt for Edward began to dissipate and it moved to the back of my mind. When I saw him and when I thought of him now, the first thought wasn't about the things he did to me in the past. I was truly grateful to have someone who was there to listen to me if I needed to vent about deadlines or even to distract me in the middle of the night when my roommates were getting busy down the hall.  
Emily and Jacob were no longer my only best friends. I considered Edward one of my best friends. Every time that I saw Emily and Jake together, I hoped that maybe, just maybe, that Edward and I could get to where they were too. I knew it would happen tomorrow, but some day.  
I was sitting in the living room working on some photo illustrations on my laptop, when Jacob strolled in the front door.  
"Hey, Bells. What's up?"  
"Same stuff, different day, Jake. What about you? Are you ready for your big date tonight?" Jake rolled his eyes at me. Tonight was the night that Emily had been waiting for for weeks. Jacob, well, he was just doing something special for his girl. For their first week anniversary, Jake bought Emily tickets to see Katy Perry at the BOK Center in Tulsa. She was so excited, I was pretty sure that Katy Perry, wherever she was, heard.  
He plopped down on the couch beside me. "I have no words for tonight, Bella." We both laughed. Then he got a look that I knew very well on his face.  
"Spit it out, Jake. What do you want?"  
"I hate to ask, but could I please, pretty please with sugar on top, borrow your car for tonight?"  
"You, Mr. Mechanic, who has enough money to buy any car that he wants yet owns a Rabbit that is always in need of repairs, because you are the man, wants to borrow my quarter of a million dollar car?"  
"You're a bitch. Forget that I even asked."  
He got up and stormed towards his room. "Jacob, get your ass back here! I wasn't finished talking to you yet!"  
He put his head down and walked back like a little kid who had just gotten scolded by his mom.  
"Why do you want to borrow my car?"  
"The damn Rabbit started cutting out on my way back from school today, and I don't have time to look at it and fix it before we have to leave for the concert. You know how much this damn show means to Emily. I don't want to break her heart and tell her that we can't go because we don't have a way to get there."  
I soothingly placed my hand on his arm. "Jake, you put a scratch on my car while it is in your possession tonight and I am going to have Reneé kick your ass." He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.  
"Oh, Bella, thanks so much. This is fucking awesome. I swear to God that your car will be returned to you in one piece or I will kick my own ass for you. Your Mom is really scary. What do you have planned for the night? Are you hanging out with your mystery man again?"  
"I do have a hot date planned." I smirked at him.  
"What the hell, Bells. We haven't haven't even met this guy yet."  
"Well, I haven't met him either. But I know he is so hot that our television could catch fire while he is on screen tonight."  
"Please don't tell me that you are going to be drooling over some teeny bopper actor playing a damn vampire or something."  
"No, Jake. I don't think he's a vampire? Even though that one guy, damn his jawline is something fierce. I wouldn't mind touching me some jaw porn."  
"Fuck, Bella. Really, he's a cold blooded dick. You should go for the guy who plays the wolf. You know that wolves are a better bet than vampires. The wolves are so much hotter."  
"I can see that Emily has had you watching some of her favorite movies again, huh? Or have you been watching the CW on Thursday nights? That Ian guy is some nice eye candy too." Jake grabbed the throw pillow on the couch and smacked me in the head with it.  
"Oh, so Bella is now a comedian. I didn't know that you had changed your major to stand up comedy."  
"Nope. I just changed my major to fuck with Jake about girly things he does whenever possible. I will be watching the very attractive Followill brothers otherwise known as the Kings of Leon and their documentary on Showtime tonight. They've promised some nudity. I am so ready."  
"What? Do you have your beloved Rabbit all fired up and ready to go?"  
"Well, at least my Rabbit is always reliable and never leaves me hanging."  
"TMI! TMI!" Jake shouted at me, as he covered his ears.  
"You may have started it, Jake, but you know that I'm the one who always finishes it!"  
"True, Bella, you are the great master."  
"And don't you ever forget it." Jake's cell chirped. I could tell by the look on his face that it was Em.  
"I need to start getting ready for tonight. She is almost home. Thanks again for loaning me the car. You are helping me make one of Em's dreams come true tonight." I was confused by his words and it must have shown on my face. "I'll show you. Hold on a minute." Jake went to his room and came back with an envelope. "I am waiting to tell her about this when we get to Tulsa, but I was able to get meet and greet tickets for tonight. She is going to get to meet Katy before the concert and have her picture taken with her."  
"Oh young Skywalker, I have taught you well." Jake snickered at my horrible Star Wars impersonation.  
"Better stick to comedy, Bella, because that sucked balls." It was my turn to smack him with the throw pillow as he ran to his room to get ready.  
After Jake and Emily left the house an hour later, I sat staring at the cell phone in my hand. "Just do it already, Bella." I ordered myself. "Stop being a chicken."  
I hit the send button and in two rings his smooth voice answered my call.  
"Hi, Bella. It's good to hear from you. How are you tonight?" Edward asked me. He was always so polite now. That had really taken some getting used to at first. Now every time that he did something gentlemanly, I felt as though I wet my pants because that behavior turned me on more than his crooked smile did.  
"I'm doing great. My roommates just left to go to that concert tonight."  
"Oh, that's right. So they have left you to fend for yourself, huh?"  
"Well, I actually have plans."  
"Sorry, I didn't know. I hope you have a good time tonight." His tone sounded a little disappointed. Did he want to spend time with me as much as I did with him?  
"That depends, Edward. How would you feel about coming over to my house tonight to watch a documentary on the Kings of Leon with me." There was a longer than normal pause on the phone. "Edward, are you there?" I pulled the phone from my ear and looked to make sure that the call hadn't been disconnected and I could see the seconds counting upward still. "Edward, please answer me. You're making me really nervous over here."  
"You want me to come over to your house, with you, and no one else is going to be there but us. Is that right?" His voice sounded very rough and full of emotion, which shocked me.  
"Yes, Edward. Just you and me. I thought we could watch the show and maybe order some pizza and just...be."  
"Bella, I would like nothing more than to spend tonight with you. What time would you like me to come over? Can I bring anything? Where do you live?"  
"Breathe, E." I paused for a minute after using that nickname of his. I hadn't used it since before. It was such an intimate thing for me to do and told me a great deal about myself and where my true feelings were headed. "Edward, it's only dinner and a movie. You don't need to bring anything unless you want something special for dessert. I will text you my address. It's not too hard to find. You can feel free to come over at any time. I don't have anything else planned."  
"Great. I may stop and get some of your favorite ice cream, chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough over." My stomach decided to take that moment to growl so loudly that Edward heard it over the phone. "I'll take that as a yes." He laughed.  
"Sounds wonderful."  
"Give me an hour or so and I will be there."  
"Cool, Edward. See you soon." I hung up and with shaky fingers sent the text to Edward. I could feel a change coming. I just hoped that I was ready for what awaited me.  
EPOV  
When I hung up the phone after talking to Bella, my face hurt from smiling so much. Almost immediately my text alert went off and I saw her address appear on my screen. I was nervous, excited, anxious. You name it and the feeling was coursing through my veins. She was changing the rules tonight. We weren't going to be in public. This was going to be the first time that I was going to be alone with her. I was wondering if this was some kind of test on her part to see if I was going to revert to the old me when no one else was around. I didn't think that Bella was that devious. She sounded genuinely happy to be spending time with me tonight.  
I didn't need to do much before I headed over to her place other than take a shower and then stop to buy ice cream. I had just headed towards the bathroom when my cell phone rang again. I figured it was Bella either retracting her invitation or calling to clarify something. "Hey, I didn't expect to hear from you so soon," I said. "Did you need something else before I come over there tonight?" I heard masculine throat clearing then held out the phone and saw that it was Jasper on the line.  
"Hi, Jaz. What's up buddy?" Suddenly I had a feeling that this wasn't just a social call. Something was up and it was something big.  
"Edward, Alice and I found out something today."  
"You better not be calling to tell me that you knocked up my sister. I may be a changed man, but if you've done that I'm gonna have to kick your ass." I found myself starting to grind my teeth at that thought. It was hard enough that I knew they were together. I didn't need to watch evidence of it develop before my eyes.  
"No, E. This does involve a lot of us, but mostly you." His pause sent chills down my spine. "It's about you and Bella. Carlisle and Charlie lied to you, to all of us. The restraining orders..." before he even finished, I knew.  
I started to feel physically ill as I listened to Jasper recall the conversation he had heard between my Dad and Bella's dad. For the first time in a long time, I felt true anger. The old Edward was struggling to get through, but I would find a way to keep him at bay. I would not destroy what I had built for myself. I would not lose Bella when I had just gotten her back. I chanted the Serenity Prayer over and over to calm myself.  
Then, I remembered that I had promised her that I would never keep anything from her again. How was I supposed to tell her something that I knew would destroy her? How could I destroy the one thing that was most precious to me in this world. I just had to pray that together Bella and I would make our way through this unscathed.  
BPOV  
I was nervous and excited about tonight. I was going to be alone with Edward. While I wasn't sure how I felt about him and our relationship, I knew what I needed. I needed some sex and I wanted it from him. No matter what had happened to us in the past, he was a musician and my body was his instrument.  
Every orgasm that I had experienced in the last few weeks with the help of my not so little bunny friend had me shouting out Edward's name. The Rabbit wasn't just enough any more. I needed him inside of me, deep inside. Edward always knew how to make my toes curl and had the power to give me orgasms that had me seeing stars. Fuck. I was getting turned on just thinking about him.  
I stared in my closet for what felt like forever. I didn't want to wear some clubbing-type outfit that showed off my body since that is so not what you would wear to watch a movie at home with your friend. I wanted to be sexy, but I also wanted to be a little subtle about it. I finally decided on my comfy OU halter top that ties around the neck and my matching crimson capris that ride low on my waist.  
I looked at the clock and it was about at least an hour until he would come over. I hoped soon after, that it would be me who would be cumming and cumming harder than I ever had before. I could feel the moisture begin to soak my panties. "Horny much, Bella?" I asked myself as I rolled my eyes. I had already showered once today, but I figured that I might as well again. I was as nervous as I had been when I knew I was about to lose my virginity. My damn palms were sweating. While I washed my hair with the shampoo that's scent always drove Edward wild, I decided that I might as well shave my legs again. I wanted the ache between my legs quenched. I began to move my finger to my clit, then I stopped myself. I knew that while this might get me some temporary satisfaction, Edward... his hands, his body, his rock hard cock, would be the only things that could truly satisfy my needs. I knew that if I could wait for him, that I would be so much more fulfilled.  
I brushed my teeth and gargled with mouthwash. I lathered my Victoria's Secret Love Spell lotion from head to toe. I wrapped myself in my favorite huge, fluffy towel and went to get dressed. I put on the top without a bra and looked at the thong underwear that I had put out to wear. You only live once, I thought as I put them in back in my dresser and decided to go commando for this evening's events.  
I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a glow to my cheeks that hadn't been there in a long time. I had been happy before Edward had come back into my life. I loved my Mom and Dad and adored my friends but something had been missing. I smiled at the image that looked back at me from the mirror. I put on some eyeliner and a little bit of powder and decided to let my hair air dry since that would give it just a little bit of a wave that was reminiscent of my sex hair.  
I had just gotten comfy on the couch and had the big screen tv turned on when there was a knock at the door. I grinned widely as I answered the door to Edward. The light shining behind him from the setting sun almost made him look other worldly, like an angel.  
"Hi, come in, please." Edward followed me inside and my gaze finally took in the paper bag from Braum's in his hands. I started jumping up and down like a little kid. "You got it, didn't you!"  
"Hello, Bella." He smiled my favorite smile and took the bag and held it out of my reach.  
"Dammit, Edward. That's just mean!" I moved my body close to him and I knew that I was invading his personal space. Hopefully he would take the hint of what I hoped would happen tonight.  
"Patience is a virtue." He smirked. Fucking smirked at me. "Where is the kitchen? I'd like to put dessert up so it won't melt." He folded the bag closed so I couldn't see inside and made his way to the kitchen.  
I tried to grab the freezer door after he put in the ice cream. God, I hoped it was that super chocolaty goodness. I could just see me using Edward as the serving dish for it too. Edward's huge hands flew beside my head to freezer door. I was now pinned between him and the freezer. He was so fucking close to where I wanted and needed him. His warm breath washed over me making my aching core throb with anticipation. Was it a little hot in here or was it just me? I turned around in the small space and could feel the heat radiating off of his body to mine. I moved even closer to him and ran my fingers down his chest.  
"Please, Edward?" He swallowed thickly and knocked my hand away.  
"Good try, but not right now, B." My heart began to race. He hadn't used this special name for me in, well, I couldn't remember the last time he said it. Maybe going commando wasn't such a good idea. It almost felt like I had pissed my pants I was so wet already. He cleared his throat. "So, where is this pizza that you promised me?"  
"I wasn't sure what you would be in the mood for tonight, but have you tried Sandro's Pizza? It is the best pizza that I have ever eaten."  
"No, I haven't. Any suggestions?"  
"I usually get their vegetarian pizza and have them add pineapple to it. It's so sinfully delicious that it should be illegal." Another thing that should be illegal is that panty dropping smile that he just used on me.  
"Sounds fantastic," he told me.  
The evening was incredible. It was turning out to be so much more than I ever expected. It was so easy just to be with him. He truly had become one of the sweetest people that I had ever had the pleasure to meet.  
As soon as Talihina Sky started on Showtime, Edward decided to mess with me. "So, what's so special about this music group?"  
"Edward, do you not see them with your own eyes? They are so hot, their sexiness is oozing from the television set."  
"Um, Bella, I hate to burst your bubble, but they are so not doing a damn thing for me." A clip of the KOL's family and where they have their reunion came up on the screen. "These guys are millionaires? Why the fuck does it look like they are living like they are in an episode of Little House on the Prairie? Wait, I am pretty sure that the housing on Little House is better than this." He pointed to the wooden shacks on the screen and I laughed.  
"Well, the accommodations are definitely not five star." We both settled back and their music just spurred my mood on. I wanted Edward and I wanted him now. Maybe he just wasn't getting the signals that I had been sending his way all night. It had been a long time since we were together that way. Maybe he just wanted to make sure that I knew what I wanted. I was going to spontaneously combust if he didn't take me soon.  
I tucked my legs under me and this allowed me to angle my upper body so it was closer to Edward. His arm was thrown over the back of the couch and was oh so close to my overheated skin where I craved his touch. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. The old Edward would have picked up on my signals and would have had my thighs wrapped around his waist and his dick thrusting inside of me by now.  
It was time for me to be in control. I scooted closer to him and put my hand on his upper thigh. The Kings of Leon music playing in the background spurred me on. I began rubbing small circles on his leg with my eyes still on the tv. I noticed that Edward was getting flushed. His breathing was becoming more ragged. I smiled inwardly. I began to move my hand higher on his thigh towards the promised land.  
EPOV  
She was killing me. Just sitting this close to her my senses were going all haywire. I could feel the sexual tension rising in the room. It was like our bodies were connected and a current was charging through each of us and into the other. This was not part of the deal. Every time that her leg accidentally brushed against mine, I had to hold back a moan. I could swear that she was giving me the look... like she was wanting to jump me.  
Then suddenly her hand was on my thigh and my world stopped. What the fuck was she doing? This wasn't something that friends did. I couldn't breathe and I could feel my cock beginning to stir. I always wanted Bella. I craved to be with her in every way possible.  
On top of this desire, there was the news that I had to share with her. As much as I didn't want to tell her that our fathers had conspired to keep us apart with the fake restraining orders, she had a right to know. I was not going to ever tell her a lie again.  
I needed to stop her before things went further than I really wanted them to go right now. I wanted to do things right with her. If she wants a relationship, a real relationship with me, it was not going to be a wham, bam, thank you ma'am one. It was going to be how it should have been; full of respect, adoration, and love.  
I finally decided that it was time for me to tell her what I had found out from Jasper. "Bella, I need to tell you something," I told her at the exact same time that she said, "Edward, I need to tell you something."  
We both chuckled, but the laughter didn't make it to our eyes. Before either of us could tell the other what we wanted to say, there was a knock at the door. It startled both of us because it was later than either of us thought it was after midnight.  
Bella looked at me and I got up and held my hand out to her. She grasped it tightly and we walked to the door together. I looked out the window and saw a police cruiser in the driveway.  
"It's the police, Bella."  
"What could they be doing here?" I could see the fear in her eyes. The police didn't just show up at someone's door for no reason. She opened the doorknob with unsteady hands.  
"Can I help you?" Bella asked, with a wavering voice.  
"We are looking for Isabella Swan."  
"That's me." Bella moved closer to me and clutched my hand even tighter in hers.  
The officer looked at me then back at her. Then he told us news that no one wants to hear, "There's been an accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our blog for song play list twidictedbyrd.blogspot.com


	19. OUTTAKE - OUTTAKE-OUTTAKE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you love Jasper or Jackson, you will love this outtake we did for Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma. This takes place at the end of Chapter 7. Enjoy!  
> Outtake Alice and Jasper's first date. ***Italics are from Chapter 7 of You Belong to Me***

APOV  
I felt like I was watching myself in a dream. I was going out with Jasper tonight! Oh my God! I could die now and die happy. (Well, maybe after my date.) It was all I could do to not jump up and down while I was sitting in the car seat on the way to the hospital. This was a moment that I have waited for, well.. forever it seemed.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
He grabbed his tie and began to put it around his neck. "Here, let me." I lifted up the collars on his shirt, my fingers purposefully grazing the sides of his neck as I moved the tie in place. I felt Jasper shiver and I did a mental fist pump, that I was able to get that reaction out of him by just a tiny touch of my fingertips. I ran my hands down from the collar straightening the tie and fingernails ghosting across his chest, as my hands straightened out the length of his tie.  
I grabbed his jacket and helped him into it. He pulled me close for a tight hug. He kissed my forehead, each cheek, both sides of my lips and then finally his mouth was home, on my lips where they were made to be. I didn't even try to take it further like I really wanted, because when Jasper gets his mind on something, come hell or high water, you can't change it.  
Neither of us heard the door open, as we ended the kiss. Our bliss was interrupted with Emmett's thunderous voice.  
"Jasper, what the fuck! What in the hell are you doing with my sister?"  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
Emmett stormed over and had his hands out to grab Jasper and pull him away from me and I stepped between them, putting my hands on Em's chest.  
"Stop it!" I shouted.  
"Alice, step the fuck away. I'm going to beat the shit out of him. How dare he touch you like that!" Emmett's face was bright red, flaming with his anger.  
"Ally, sweetheart, let me have a minute to talk to Emmett, OK?" I looked over my shoulder into Jasper's concerned face.  
"What the hell did you just call her?" Emmett was trying his damnedest to get passed me and I wasn't going to let him beat the shit out of the love of my life.  
"Emmett, stop it already! You need to let me explain what's going on." I decided that I had only one option left. I grabbed a hold of Emmett's ear and pulled. This was a special technique that I developed years ago to put me on even ground with my brothers. They were giants compared to me and I needed a way to defend myself. I pulled once more and brought Emmett to his knees.  
"Holy Mother of God, Alice. Stop it, please. You know that hurts like hell!"  
"Say it, Em! Say it now!" I yelled at him. There was only one phrase that would save both Emmett and Edward from my ear-tugging torture.  
"OK, you win! Alice is the all great and powerful and never does anything wrong. She is my master. I will do as she bids." I grinned at Em wickedly then let go of his ear. He collapsed onto his ass and began rubbing his ear.  
"You know never to mess with me Emmett McCarty Cullen! I may be little but you know that I'm mighty powerful." I stifled a laugh as he shot me a dirty look.  
"You don't have to rub it in. I think you partially detached my ear from my head." I smacked him on the side of his head, the same side where I had pulled his ear and he scooted as far away from Jasper and me as he could. I noticed that he had bright red lipstick on the collar of his shirt.  
"Hey, Emmett." I walked close to him and he stood up and I touched his collar. "What's this red stuff on your collar, big brother." He turned his head to try to look at it. "This is lipstick, Em. Lipstick on your collar! Whose lipstick is it, huh?" He expelled the breath and his mouth began to gape open.  
"It's, hey, Ally. I really don't want to talk about it, OK." Was Emmett blushing? I do believe he is.  
"So is this serious, Em. When do we get to meet her? You know who I'm going out with tonight. It's only fair that we know who you are seeing. Come on give." I heard Jasper chuckle behind me. He came up and wrapped his arm around my waist.  
"Em, you know that Ally is unstoppable when it comes to this stuff. You might as well spill. She won't shut up about it unless you do."  
"I don't care what you want right now, Ally. You promised me you would explain what I just saw when I walked in and saw my best friend in a lip-lock with you and had his hands all over your body." He was getting that annoying possessive tone that I just don't stand for.  
"Em, I'm an adult and I make my own decisions. You are my brother, not my dad. Jasper and I are dating. D-A-T-I-N-G. Is that clear enough for you. I've been in love with him for years and you all have been too wrapped up in your own lives to notice it." Emmett shrunk away from me as if I had hit him again. "You know what, Em? I'm lucky enough that he feels the exact same way about me! We are going out tonight and we are together. That is how it is so you just need to deal with it. Got it?" I looked at Jasper, who still had his arm wrapped around me, and he gently kissed the top of my head. His smile made my heart rate increase and I swear that I could feel my eyes smoldering back at him.  
"Guys, I'm still in the room," Emmett muttered. I muffled a giggle. Jasper's smile widened even more, which I didn't even think was possible. "So you love my baby sister, huh?"  
"Emmett, I would die for her man. She's spunky, which you know all too well. She always says what she thinks and she looks fuck-awesome in pink." Jasper laughed. "I've wanted to date her for a while now, but I didn't think she felt the same way. When I found out that she did, my heart soared. She is it for me, Em. She's it."  
"My lil pixie, baby sis, and my best friend," Emmett shook his head. "OK, then. You kids have fun tonight, but not too much fun! I'm heading out later tonight myself. I probably won't see you til the morning, Ally." He came up and kissed me gently on the forehead and poked Jasper in the chest. "You take good care of her."  
"You know I will, Em," Jaz said. "Nothing but the best for my girl." Emmett stalked away to his room as Jasper walked in front of me and took my hands in his.  
"Are you ready to go, my love?"  
"More than ready," I said in my sauciest voice. "Where are we going?"  
"I'm taking you out for a very romantic dinner. We're going to Port Angeles to C'Est Si Bon." I'm surprised I didn't need a bib at that moment, because that place is top notch French food. We only go with mom and dad on special occasions, since it's so expensive.  
"Jasper, any place as long as I'm with you would be romantic," I said as he helped me into his car. He took hand hand and kissed my palm tenderly.  
"Alice, nothing but the best for you." I melted again. His lips would be the death of me.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
It never fails every time I enter into C'ESt Si Bon that I feel as though I have instantly been transported to Europe. It was shear opulence. Fine linen covered tables are decorated with flower-filled crystal vases. Romantic music is filtered gently throughout the dining room. We were taken to a secluded corner to our table where we would be our our own little world.  
Jasper pulled out my seat for me. I felt his fingers gently stroke the back of my neck and he bent and whispered in my ear. "Thank you for coming with me tonight." I felt myself shiver as he kissed the nape of my neck and I swear I felt his tongue dart out to taste my skin. I tried my best to calm my thudding heart as I picked up my menu and began to peruse the selections.  
We ordered sparkling water with cranberry juice and Jasper ordered us an appetizer of Fruits de Mer au Gratin, which was scallops, crab and shrimp. We took turns feeding each other the mouth-watering seafood. Then, we enjoyed our delicious butter lettuce salads, while we waited on our entrees.  
Conversation with Jasper was easy. We talked about our favorite foods, movies, music, what we wanted for our future. I still wanted to go to the FIDM, Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in California. The thought startled me momentarily. Bella and I were supposed to go there together. What was going to happen now? I still wanted to study Merchandising Product Development. Bella was going to study visual arts. I was going to create my own super stylish line of clothes and she was going to market it. I haven't talked to her in days and had no plans to anytime soon. She shot and broke my brother's heart by saying that she didn't love him anymore. She didn't even have the nerve to tell him that to his face. WTF! Jasper knocked me out of my revelry when he gently rubbed his thumb over the pulse point in my wrist which sent thoughts of my friend to the furthest recesses of my mind and sent my pulse into overdrive...again.  
"Ally, hun, you looked upset. Did I say something..."  
"No, Jasper, no. It wasn't you. I was thinking about...Bella." A look of understanding washed across his face.  
"I'm so sorry about everything, Ally. If you need to talk, I'm here, any time, day or night." I grabbed his hand and linked my fingers with his.  
"I know. Thank you. That's enough unsettling thoughts for the evening." I flashed a brilliant smile at him. His face easily echoed the happiness of mine.  
Our waiter brought our dinners. I enjoyed the succulant Carnard Roi, the roast duck, and Jasper being the true guy he is had Steak Aux Cinq Poivres, a huge juicy New York steak with peppercorns. When we finished, Jasper ordered us a chocolate mousse to share for dessert. When he lifted the first bite to my lips, it was heaven and I'm not talking about the dessert. His eyes glazed over with lust as I darted my tongue out to lick the mousse from my lips. When he did the same after I fed him a bite, I nearly swooned. Jasper didn't have to make moves on me. All he had to do was be himself. That is definitely at the top of my list of why I love him so much.  
After dessert, he stood and reached for my hand. "Dance with me, Ally?" I placed my hand in his and he lead me out to the dance floor and the music suddenly changed. Etta Jame's at last began to fill my ears and Jasper wrapped me tightly in his arms. There was no space left between us at all. I didn't know where I ended and where he began. We were one, swaying to and fro to the lyrics. What I heard next made me weak in the knees as Jasper began to quietly sing to me.  
"I found a thrill to rest my cheek to." He rubs his gloriously handsome face against mine. "A thrill that I have never known." His hands pull me even closer even though I thought it was impossible for us to be closer together.  
"Oh yeah and when you smile, you smile." I couldn't help but smile at him. He couldn't carry a tune if you gave him a bucket to carry it in but I could feel these words coming straight from the deepest regions of his heart.  
"Oh, and then the spell was cast. And here we are in Heaven. For you are mine..." I'm transfixed by the way his eyes look at me with such awe. "For you are mine, at last." He bent down and his luscious lips touched mine and ignited a frenzy throughout my entire being. He rested his forehead against mine. "Alice, I love you so very much." He lips grazed my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, my neck below my ear. I'm sure I was looking at him googly-eyed at this point.  
"I love you too, Jaz." I skimmed my lips along his jaw and felt him shudder.  
"Are you ready to go home?" I knew what I wanted to do with him and that so couldn't be done in public.  
"I'm ready to leave, but I'm not ready for the evening to end yet. How about watching a movie at my place?"  
"Sounds perfect."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
The house was empty again when we arrived back to Forks. We headed to the entertainment room, usually known as the game room. The boys conned dad into buying a 73 inch 3D television and a blu-ray 3D DVD player. I was at least able to have my way and get a huge collection of Romantic Comedies and just plain old Romance movies. There was one movie that I asked for that shocked them all. I had to have "The Last Airbender." I had watched the cartoons forever on TV and thought I'd give the movie a whirl and I was sooooo glad I did. I found guy who played Sokka an absolute hottie, but he doesn't hold a candle to my Jasper.  
Jaz began to pore over the dvd selection as I sank into the leather sectional.  
"Anything particular you want to watch?"  
"How about something with Hugh Grant? He's so funny." He pulled one out and showed it to me.  
"Yes! I LOVE LOVE LOVE 'Love Actually.'"  
Jasper put the DVD in the player and came to sit next to me. We only turned on the corner lamp so the room was almost darkness. It was the perfect "make-out" setting. I leaned into his side and began to tuck my feet under me when I felt my heels poke me in my ass. I pulled my legs back out and groaned as I slipped out of my shoes. I rubbed at my feet a little.  
"Do your feet hurt, Ally?"  
"Sometimes you have to suffer to be fashionable." I giggled. Jasper surprised me when he got up and said, "Hold on. I'll be right back."  
A few minutes later he came back with my jasmine vanilla lotion and a grin on his face. He sat back down and shocked me when he pulled my feet on his lap.  
"Lay back and get comfortable, baby. I want to make you feel better."  
I took the couch pillow and propped it up under my head and stared at him transfixed as he poured some lotion into his hand and rubbed his palms together to warm it up.  
He started at my toes and his nimble fingers took their time and paid attention to each toe. It was the most relaxing thing I had ever felt. It made my bubble baths look like a walk over hot coals. He repeated it on the other foot.  
"How's this, Ally," he said as he began to work his fingers down to sole of my foot and I moaned. "Did that hurt, baby?"  
"No, Jaz. That feels fan-fucking-tastic." He let out a booming laugh.  
"Ally, babe, don't take this the wrong way, but you really sounded like your brothers just then!"  
"Jaz, their colorful vocabulary was bound to rub off on me sooner or later." I grinned and he continued his masterful work on my feet. Watching him and the intensity that he worked my feet was one of the sexiest I had ever seen. I suddenly started to feel more than relaxed. This massage was really starting to turn me on. I began to writhe more than a little.  
"No, honey. Please, please don't stop." He finally reached between the ball of my foot and my heel. Holy shit! I could feel the throbbing begin to pulse in my center. The more pressure he used on my foot, the more feverish I felt throughout my entire body. I groaned and clutched the pillow behind my head. I was tingling all over my body and I've felt like this before. I knew what was building and I couldn't believe that this would happen just by a not-so-simple foot massage.  
I never knew that they could be this...erotic. I was so turned on that I was shocked that I hadn't spontaneously combusted. If this is what he could do to me when he massaged my feet, I the ecstasy I would experience with him when we have sex for the first time could cause the entire planet to explode from our explosive passion. I was leaking like a broken faucet. I could smell my arousal permeating around me and I could tell by the gleam in Jasper's eyes that he knew what was about to happen to me. The massage continued and the throbbing, not just in my pussy, but in my entire body caused all of my senses to be heightened. The heat kept building deep inside me and I felt a tightening in my stomach. I was clenching my legs together trying to reach that pinnacle that my entire being was craving. The walls of my pussy were constricting uncontrollably. I was squirming all over the couch, my entire body flushed when with one final press of his thumbs, Jasper sent me over the edge and I screamed as the most incredible sensation I had ever known bombarded me. My chest was heaving and I couldn't catch my breath.  
"Alice, did you just..."  
"Oh. My. God. That was the most incredible...I don't have words." I got up and snuggled next to him on the couch and kissed him resoundingly on the lips. "Thank you, Jasper. This was the best, most incredible, unforgettable, marvelous first date EVER!"  
He encircled me in his arms and kissed me again. We nestled into the couch and watched Hugh Grant find love as the Prime Minister. I had found my love right here and I was never letting him go.


	20. Chapter 19

BPOV  
"An accident?" My voice was shaking. My Dad was a cop. If something had happened to him in the line of duty, it wouldn't be a phone call that I would be receiving. "Is my dad..." I felt my knees start to give out from under me. Edward wrapped his arms around me to keep me from collapsing.  
"Miss Swan, we aren't here about your father. Are you the owner of a Aston Martin DBS Volante convertible?" The officer asked me.  
"Yes," I whispered. "Jake, Emily are they..." I couldn't finish. While I wanted to know I couldn't find the words to ask if my best friends were dead or alive. Thankfully, Edward had the strength that I didn't.  
"Her friends, how are they? What happened?" Edward's voice was filled with the worry that I felt.  
"Your friends were headed towards Norman on Sooner Road when a drunk driver collided with the vehicle. The fire department used the jaws of life to extricate them. The male, his injuries didn't appear to be life threatening. The girl looked to be extremely critical. She was taken via helicopter to Oklahoma University Medical Center in Oklahoma City. The male was taken there by ambulance," The officer said, looking over his paperwork.  
I swallowed past the lump that had taken root in my throat and I could feel the tears that were now pouring down my face. The officer sounded so emotionally detached. I wished that I could detach myself from this reality that I was now faced with. "Miss, we need to contact their next of kin. Could you please provide us that information?"  
"Um, Edward," I could barely see him through the stream of tears. "My cell phone, please?" He let me go and I suddenly everything started to go black when I felt his strong arms pick me up and gather me close to his chest.  
"Bella, B, Baby, I'm here. I'm not leaving your side no matter what." I felt his lips graze my forehead as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck with my faced tucked into his neck. He took me to the sofa and grabbed my cell phone off the coffee table. "Baby, whose numbers do I need to look for?"  
"For Jacob, Billy Black. For Emily, Paul Young," I said, as Edward quickly wrote the numbers down and handed them to the officer. "Officer, my friends, their parents live in Washington State. Someone needs to be there for them. They shouldn't be alone right now." I started sobbing uncontrollably. I never wanted to let Edward go, as I cried onto his shirt.  
"Miss, if you would like, my partner and I can give you a ride to the hospital so you can be with your friends," said the officer.  
Before I could even respond, my gentleman, my other best friend, Edward, answered for me. "Thank you for the offer, sir. I would like to drive her there myself if it is OK with you."  
"That's fine, son. I will make sure to leave word at the front desk, that they are to give you updates on their conditions since their families are so far away," the police officer said, as he turned to leave.  
"Thank you so much, Sir." Edward reached out and shook his hand. He followed the officer to the door then came to sit with me on the couch. "Bella, we need to get going. Your friends need you right now."  
He pulled me tightly to his chest hugging me fiercely. His hands were moving in circles on my back trying to comfort me as I returned his hug. I needed some strength right now and Edward was doing his best to help me find it. He unwrapped my arms from around his neck, grabbed my cell and put it in my purse.  
"Bella, which is your room? We need to get you some shoes so we can leave?" Edward was saying, as he stood in the hallway.  
"First, door on the left." I wiped at the tears in my eyes. Edward returned quickly with a pair of tennis shoes and an OU hoodie. He put the shoes on my feet and then clasped my hands in his as he helped me up. Then he slipped my arms through the hoodie and zipped it up.  
I looked up at him with a questioning gaze. "It gets cold in hospitals. I don't want you to catch a chill." He picked up my purse and reached his hand to take mine. It wasn't enough just to hold his hand, so I linked my fingers through his. Even with all the wrong that had happened tonight, that one gesture felt oh-so-right.  
EPOV  
Bella's quiet sobs on the drive to the hospital tore fiercely at my heart. I drove with my left hand while the fingers of her left hand were almost melded between the fingers of my right hand. I used this small physical connection that I had with her to give her all of my strength and support that she needed.  
When we entered the emergency room, I noticed the officer who had been at Bella's, standing at the receptionist's area. "Miss Swan, I was able to contact both of your friend's parents. They unfortunately won't be able to make it until some time tomorrow afternoon. I also spoke with the nurses in charge of both of your friends and they know to update you on their conditions."  
"Thank you so much for your help, officer." I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was barely hanging on by a thread. I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled a weak smile but the squeeze she gave my hand back told me how much she appreciated me being with her.  
"If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to contact me. My name is officer Giovanni Raines." He handed his business card towards Bella, and when she made no move to grab it, I took it.  
"We will. Thanks again. Who do we need to talk to for information on her friends?" I said.  
"They are waiting for you at the nurses' station," the officer pointed us in the right direction. I felt Bella begin to tremble with fear, as we went to get an update on Jake and Emily, so I wrapped my arm around her and guided her.  
It was like the nurses were waiting for us. The looks in their eyes made me extremely nervous. I wasn't sure how Bella would handle it if one or both of her best friends had died.  
"Um, my name is Bella Swan. I was wondering if you could give me an update on my friends, Jacob Black and Emily Young?" Bella was hanging on by a thread and I was afraid that she was going to snap at any moment.  
"Yes, Miss Swan. I'm Nurse Hayes. I just paged the doctors in charge of your friends' cases and they said for me to take you to the surgical waiting room. This way please."  
We followed the nurse to the elevators and went to the third floor. When we were guided to a private room, my fears for Bella's friends escalated. With my dad being a doctor, I knew that these private waiting rooms should really be called rooms of dread.  
"The doctors should be here any moment," Nurse Hayes said, as she shut the door and left Bella and I alone.  
"Edward, I don't know what I'll do if..." I hugged her as tightly as I could and rubbed her back.  
"Bella, we don't know anything yet. You've got to think positive thoughts. Your friends are young and in excellent health. They are fighters from everything that you've told me about them."  
I could vaguely remember a time when Jacob Black wasn't much of a fighter. He had changed a lot from the time in middle school, when he basically just stood there and took the beating that I gave him. I cringed at the thought of the stupid worthless fuck that I was. I was nothing but a piece of shit bully, who did whatever he wanted to do to get his way. Even if that meant beating up a scrawny little kid for looking at the new girl at school, with a big smile. I had seen the pictures of Jake and Bella together. He definitely wasn't a weakling anymore.  
Before Bella could respond two doctors who didn't look much older than Doogie Howser walked in.  
"You're here for Jacob Black and Emily Young?" The doctor asked us.  
"Yes, I am," Bella answered. She pulled me tighter to her side.  
"I'm Dr. Goldberg. I treated Mr. Black. He was extremely lucky. He has some cuts and bruises on his arms and face as well as a broken arm. He has a slight concussion as well, so we are going to keep him overnight for observation."  
"He's going to be OK?" Bella asked timidly.  
"Yes, he should be perfectly fine. We did have to sedate him, because he became uncontrollable when we wouldn't let him be with his girlfriend. Do you have any other questions about Mr. Black?" the doctor asked.  
"No, Dr. Goldberg. Thank you so much for taking care of him," Bella said.  
"You're more than welcome. I will leave you with Dr. Sandler now to tell you about your other friend," Dr. Goldberg said as he turned and left.  
As soon as the door shut behind Dr. Goldberg, Dr. Sandler came and sat across from Bella. Fuck! It is never, ever good when a doctor takes the time to sit down and talk to a patient's family.  
"I worked on your friend Miss Young in the ER. Upon arrival the EMT's said that they had to revive her in the helicopter twice on the way to the hospital because her heart had stopped," Dr. Sandler told us.  
Bella gasped for air and the tears began pouring out. My heart was breaking for her and there was nothing I could do but be here for her. I wanted to cocoon her and shield her from any and every bit of pain that life threw at her. "Is she...dead?" Bella asked.  
"Her injuries are quite extensive. It appears that after the car that struck Mr. Black and Miss Young's vehicle at such an angle, their car was sent into a spin. Most of the impact was on the front passenger side of the car where we were told that Miss Young was seated. There are a team of the best surgeons in the country working on her as we speak. Her right leg was crushed and one of our orthopedic specialists is working on it. Miss Young lost a great deal of blood from internal injuries, as well. She suffered trauma to her chest and had fluid around her heart that we believe came from a small tear that the impact likely caused. She also has some bleeding and swelling in her brain. I have to be brutally honest with you. Your friend is in the worst possible shape imaginable. If she makes it through surgery, the next 24 hours are critical," the doctor said, looking over Emily's chart.  
"How long will she be in surgery?" I asked the doctor. I knew that at this point Bella's thought processes had checked out. She was crumbling before my eyes.  
"It could last from four hours up to twelve. It depends on the amount of damage that they find and repair. They may also have to wait until she is more stable to do all the needed repairs," he said.  
"What are her chances?" I asked. Unfortunately, I knew the answer when he looked me directly in the eyes.  
"If she survives surgery, it will be a miracle. I am so sorry. I wish I had better news to give you." He got up and squeezed Bella on the shoulder. "I do believe greatly in the power of prayer. Your friend needs as much support as she can get right now. One of her doctors will be out to give you an update as soon as possible," the doctor said with a somber look on his face.  
"When can I see my friend, Jake?" Bella asked with a despondent look on her face.  
"He will likely be out for another hour or two. I will talk to Dr. Goldberg and have Mr. Black's nurse contact you when he wakes up." Dr. Sandler nodded to me and walked down the hall.  
Bella nodded and threw herself around me. I gathered her up and put her in my lap. Her whole body shuddered from her heart-wrenching cries. I felt my heart constrict in my chest from Bella's suffering, and soon the tears began to fall from my eyes.  
"I can't..." She gulped out between her sobs, "lose...her...I...need...her!"  
"I know, Baby. I know." I kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth. "The doctor was right. Let's say a prayer for Emily." She glanced up at me with her swollen eyes and red face. She seemed surprised at my suggestion.  
"Bella, when I am stressed or overwhelmed and afraid that my old craving could take over my body, I pray. I pray even when I am not worried about anything. It is soothing and really does provide a true sense of peace and serenity."  
"Do you believe in God, Edward?" Bella asked looking up at me with anguish in her eyes.  
"How could I not? The world is such an incredible place, like our meadow at Griffin Park. Look at all the incredible people who we have in our lives." I looked at the most breath-takenly beautiful woman God ever created who was wrapped in my arms. Only God would have given me the chance to prove myself to her, to give me the opportunity to earn a second chance with her. "God works in mysterious and wonderful ways. I believe that he hears us and when it is in his power that he answers our prayers."  
"Edward, she's in such bad shape," Bella said with tears falling freely. I could feel every bit of despair that was engulfing every fiber of her being.  
"All the more reason to ask God to give her the strength that she needs to fight, to fight to live for Jake, for you." I placed my forefinger gently under her chin and she gave a small nod. "Would you like me to say the prayer, B?"  
"Yes, please," she sniffled.  
"Beloved heavenly father..."  
BPOV  
"Amen." Edward and I said in unison.  
"Thank you so much, Edward. That prayer was absolutely beautiful. Do you really think that God heard us?"  
"I honestly do, Bella."  
I curled myself even further into his lap. I had no idea how I could have made it through tonight without Edward. He had been my rock. I knew that there was no way that I could have faced all of this alone.  
I wasn't sure how much time had passed when there was a knock at the door.  
"Miss Swan, I just received a call from your friend's nurse. Mr. Black is awake," the receptionist from the surgical waiting room said. I could feel the relief pulsing through my body. I needed to be with Jake as much as he needed to be with me. "He's in room 605."  
"Will you tell Emily Young's doctors where we are, if they come while we are gone?"  
"Yes, sweetie. I will let them know. Someone will find you to give you an update if you aren't here," the receptionist smiled.  
Edward and I got up. "Are you ready?" He asked me.  
"I've never been more ready." We wound our fingers together as we made our way to Jake's floor. I stopped us before we entered Jake's room. I turned to look at Edward. "What should I tell Jake about Emily?" I didn't want to be the one to give him the news about how bad she was. I knew that any pain that Emily was experiencing would kill Jake. "The whole truth...It just doesn't seems like he needs to know everything right now."  
"You're probably right. Just don't lie to him, Bella. If things don't go...just tell him that she's in surgery and you should be hearing how she is doing soon," Edward said.  
I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. I wiped at my face. "Do I look OK? Will he be able to tell how upset I've been?"  
"Bella, you're beautiful." Edward's words warmed my heart. "Anyone would be upset that their friends were hurt." He was right. I could do this. "Do you want me to go with you?"  
"Can you give me a few minutes alone with him?"  
"Anything, Bella." He kissed me on the forehead and I opened the door.  
Jake hadn't noticed me yet and it broke my heart to see him in such bad shape. It wasn't his physical shape that was tearing me in two. I could feel the hurt and anguish that was radiating from his every pore. His other half was hurt. He didn't know how badly, but I could tell that he still knew.  
"Hey, Jake." I walked over and sat down on the side of the bed by his unbroken arm. I grabbed a hold of his hand with both of mine. "How are you feeling?" I moved one hand and pushed his hair out of his eyes.  
"I feel like I've been in a wreck, Bells." He tried to rub at his head with his injured arm. "Fuck this hurts!"  
"What can I do for you?"  
"I'm so sorry," He started to cry. My big, strong, teddy bear. My Jake was crumbling before me. "Emily, they wouldn't let me stay with her. There were so many doctors working on her. I tried...The other car was there before I knew what was happening..." His cries intensified and I felt my tears begin to flow again. "Please tell me she is going to be OK?"  
Everyone knows I am the world's worst liar. Jake picked the one question that I had hoped he wouldn't ask me.  
"Jake," I squeezed his hand tightly. "She's in surgery. They are working on her. So many of the best doctors in the country are doing everything in their power to help her..."  
"It's my fault. She's fighting for her life because of me!" Jake shouted. I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could and tried to help take his pain away like Edward had done with me.  
"It is not your fault. Don't ever think that you are to blame for what happened. If you want to blame it on anyone, blame it on the fucking moron who got behind the wheel of the car they were driving when they were drunk. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault." I knew that I had to be firm in my words. Jacob loved Emily with everything that he was. I knew what was going through his mind. He was wishing that he was the one on the operating table. He would do anything to make things better for Emily. He would give his life for her.  
"Bella, is everything OK?" I heard Edward's musical voice, at the same time that I felt Jake tense up.  
"What is he doing here, Bella?" He looked at me with ferocious eyes. "What the fuck do you think you are doing here with her, Cullen? Get the hell out of here!"  
"Jake, he's with me. He was with me when I found out what happened and hasn't left my side. I want him here with me."  
Jake grabbed my arm as tightly as he could with his good hand. His grip was so tight it felt like the circulation was being cut off. "Did he not hurt you enough last time you were together? Do you want him to end you? He's violent, Bella. He won't stop until you're dead!" Jake growled at me. He kept squeezing tighter and tighter, and I yelped and Edward stormed closer to us.  
"Take your hands off her. You're hurting her!" Edward's voice was laced with fury. Jacob looked at the fear in my eyes that he had caused, not Edward.  
"Bella, what the hell are you thinking? Is he..." I actually heard the click as Jake put two and two together. "He's the guy you've been seeing here, isn't he?"  
"Yes," I whispered as I rubbed my arm trying to get the stinging pain to disappear. Edward had taken a protective stance behind me. I could tell he was ready to spring on Jake at any opportunity. I had wanted to find a way to distract Jake about Emily's plight, but not this way.  
"Did you follow her here?" Jacob asked.  
"The first time that Bella and I had seen or talked to each other since January, was when I ran into her at the student union here. Neither of us knew where the other was or what they were doing," Edward assured Jake.  
"Sure, Cullen." Jake rolled his eyes and looked away from us.  
"Jake, he has changed. I know you would have a difficult time believing it. I did too, but he isn't the same person he was."  
"He's just fucking waiting until you have your guard totally down and then he will start where he left off!" Jacob spat.  
"That's not true. He cares about me. I care about him. He is in my life now."  
"You are so fucking stupid, Bells. I'm not going to sit around and watch him tear you down again. Get the hell out of here and don't come back. I don't want to see you again, ever!" Jake said as he turned his head.  
I would have collapsed to the floor if Edward hadn't grabbed me and put me behind him.  
"Black, I know you are upset and hurting, but this is not the time to treat Bella this way. She loves you. She loves Emily. It would literally kill her if anything happened to either of you. I am not the one who has caused any type of pain to Bella tonight. Can you say the same thing? All she is trying to do is comfort you and you treat her like, shit." Edward grumbled and ran his hands through his hair. "What you just did to her... That is exactly something that I would have done to her before." That remark caused Jacob to cringe and he turned pale. "It's been a long and painful road for me to get to where I'm at; to change the way that I was. You don't have a fucking clue and right now is not the time for us to even be talking about me! Your girlfriend, the love of your life, is laying on an operating table and is fighting for her life. Instead of fighting with Bella, you both need to support each other."  
Edward's words seem to have struck a chord with Jacob. "Jacob, I know you may not be happy with my choices right now, but I need you as much as you need me." Jake nodded in agreement.  
"Jacob, it's late and I know that no one wants to say anything else they will regret. We will let you rest," Edward said.  
I went up to Jacob and touched the back of his hand. He turned his hand over and clasped mine and squeezed. "He's right. Rest, Jacob." I kissed him on the cheek.  
"Emily?" Jacob choked out.  
"Once we hear something, you will be the next to know." Edward told him.  
As soon as we left Jacob's room, I sagged against the wall and Edward captured my hand in his. "He didn't mean any of it, B. He's scared and needed to lash out at someone."  
"I know. I couldn't imagine if..." I didn't finish the thought out loud because it truly startled me. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if I was in Jacob's place and it was Edward who was fighting for his life. Edward belonged in my life. He wasn't just my friend. He was the missing piece that I needed, to be who I was meant to be. Yes, I was Bella without him and my life was good. Hell, my life was incredible without him. But with this new Edward, my life was even better. "Let's head back to the waiting room. I need to find out how Em is."  
It didn't take long before a doctor came in to tell us that we had gotten a miracle. Emily had survived the surgery despite the odds. Her next hurdle was to survive the night which the doctors said would also likely require a miracle. I wondered how many miracles God would give my best friend.  
We had promised to tell Jake how Emily was, but when we got to the floor, I couldn't face him. Edward walked in the room. I head Jacob raise his voice then I heard his roar of pain. I sunk to the floor and wrapped my arms around my calves and cried for him, for Emily, for the bad luck that two such incredible people didn't deserve to have. Edward walked out what felt like an eternity later. He looked like he had shed a few tears himself.  
EPOV  
I thought that Jacob Black was going to rip me limb from limb, when I entered his room. As soon as I told him I had news he demeanor totally changed. He demanded that I tell him everything that I knew. I simply nodded and told him what he never thought he would hear. If it were Bella, I wasn't sure that I could survive it. She was everything to me and always would be.  
Bella and I didn't say a word as we headed to the Intensive Care Unit waiting area. A nurse came out and let Bella just peak her head in Emily's room. When Bella returned, I wished that she hadn't gone. She was in visible shock. I got a blanket from the nurse's station and had Bella lay down to attempt to at least rest her eyes, even if she didn't fall asleep.  
She stretched out in the chair and placed her head in my lap. An hour or so had passed, but Bella wasn't asleep yet, even though she hadn't moved an inch other than to take a breath. I was rubbing my fingers through her hair. It was a technique that my mom used on me when I was little and couldn't sleep. It never failed to relax me. I could feel the tension of the last eight hours slowly begin to leave her body. I heard Bella's soft sigh. Another minute or so and she would be out like a light.  
Suddenly an announcement had Bella shooting straight up. "Code Blue ICU 4. Code Blue ICU 4."  
"Emily!" Bella gasped.


	21. Chapter 20

BPOV  
I tightened my grip on Edward's hand after I heard the announcement and waited for someone to come and tell me the Emily was gone. Suddenly the doors of ICU rushed open. What I saw had me grab Edward's hand even tighter. Emily was on her gurney with someone sitting on top of her giving her chest compressions, as doctors and nurses pushed her towards the OR. It was like watching an episode ofGrey's Anatomy, but unfortunately this wasn't TV, this was Emily's life in the balance.  
I choked out a sob and Edward forced me to let go of his hand and pulled me into his lap where he rocked me, trying to calm me as best he could. I heard a throat clear and looked over my shoulder.  
"Ms. Swan, I'm Nurse Shepherd." I giggled at the name, who wouldn't? My McDreamy had me in his arms. While Nurse Shepherd wasn't a doctor, he could give Patrick Dempsey a definite run for his money. Maybe this was just all a dream and I was inside and episode of Grey's after all.  
"Sorry, Nurse. She hasn't slept yet, and is a little out of it," Edward said as he attempted to stifle a grin himself.  
"I understand completely. The doctors wanted me to let you know that it appears as though there was a second place in Miss Young's heart that suffered a slight tear, and that is what they believe caused her recent cardiac arrest," Nurse Shepherd said to us. "We understand her parents will be here later today?"  
"Yes," I told him, as I looked at the clock on the wall. The police contacted Em's parents after midnight and said they would be on a 6 am flight from Seattle. "They should definitely be on the plane headed here now. The flight is supposed to land a little before 4 pm."  
"Her surgery shouldn't take that long, but the doctor wanted me to assure you as soon as it is finished you will receive an update."  
EPOV  
As the nurse walked away, I knew there were a few things that I had to do before Emily's parents arrived. First, I had to go tell Jacob about Emily. Then, even though I knew that this wasn't likely the right time, I had to tell Bella about what our father's did.  
"Bella," I said gently as I stroked her back. "I promised Jake. I'm not going to break my promise to him."  
"I understand," she told me.  
"Do you want to go with me?" I already knew her answer before I asked. She shook her head solemnly. We both stood up and I hugged her and kissed her forehead. "I won't be long."  
I didn't knock as I got to his room. The breakfast cart was a few doors down, so I knew he had either been served breakfast or would be soon. Jake was propped up in his bed, playing with his food. He looked up at me when he heard the door shut.  
"Cullen." His tone was severe, but he and I had come to an understanding last night. He would be keeping his eyes on me at all times and if I fucked up once, he was going to beat the shit out of me and then he would call Charlie, so he could do the same. I had no intentions of doing anything that could hurt Bella in any possible way. I couldn't tell Jacob that. What he was going through, was more eye-opening than Granny Platt flicking my ears and showing me how I had fucked up my entire life, and most importantly, how Bella shattered into pieces because of my treatment of her.  
"Jake," I cleared my throat, took a deep breath, and looked him straight in his eyes. He nodded his head at me and I could feel the tension radiating from him. "Emily is still alive, but her heart stopped earlier and they found another tear. The doctors have her in surgery now."  
"Cullen...Edward, how long..." Jake gulped. "I have to get out of this fucking bed. The waiting is killing me. I have to see her." His uninjured hand gripped the breakfast tray and threw it aside. The tray clattered to the floor as he began to cry. "She can't die, Edward. Emily and I are meant to be together. Forever..."  
A nurse stuck her head in at the commotion. "Is everything okay in here?" She asked us.  
"Yes, my friend here is used to having two good arms and grabbed his tray with his injured arm, and well, you can see the result," I told her, as I began to pick up as much of his demolished breakfast as best as I could.  
"Okay. I will get maintenance in here to clean up the mess for you."  
"Um, could you also check with the doctor about when Jake should be released? We were told that he only had to stay for observation and would be released sometime today. His girlfriend is upstairs and he really needs to be with her right now." I had emphasized the word "needs" and the nurse seemed to understand the point that I was trying to make.  
"I can page his doctor and check. I know he started rounds about 30 minutes ago. Hopefully he will be here soon."  
"Thank you very much, nurse," I told her and I heard Jacob sigh with some relief. He would be able to be with Emily soon. I prayed that she was still going to be alive when he did.  
"Thanks, man," Jacob told me.  
"Sure. I need to get back to Bella. I will tell the nurse where Bella and I are going to be waiting, so you can join us as soon as they let you out of here."  
"Edward, you didn't have to keep me updated like this. I really appreciate you not bullshitting me."  
"It is very clear how you feel about Emily. You have every right to know what's happening with her. If I hear anything else before you are released, I will be back."  
"You do seem different, Cullen. I'll give you that, but don't forget what I told you."  
"Black, you don't have to worry about me hurting Bella. I know what I did to her before, and I don't ever want her to be hurt by my hands literally or metaphorically ever again. See you upstairs soon."  
"Sure, sure," Jacob told me.  
Even though Bella was worried sick about Emily, I couldn't keep the truth from her any longer. She had a right to know about the role our fathers had played in officially ending our relationship.  
She was curled up in two chairs in the corner of the waiting room, sound asleep. Even with exhaustion filling her features in her sleep, I had never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. I got comfortable next to her and stroked her hair while I closed my eyes and tried to figure out how I could tell her without damaging her already broken heart.  
I must have dosed off, because the next thing I knew I was awakened by the most incredible sensation of Bella curled up in my lap. Her head was nestled in the crook of my neck. One of her hands was playing with the hairs at the base of my neck, while the other caressed my chest.  
She felt me stir and looked up at me. I could look into those incredible chocolate eyes forever.  
"Hey, sleepy head," Bella told me, while she continued to use those magical hands on my body. Now was not the time for me to be getting turned on by what she was doing.  
"Hi, yourself," I told her, as I stroked a lock of hair from her face and then continued to rub the side of her neck. "Any news on Emily yet?"  
"No news is good news, I guess." She didn't look too sure of those words as she spoke them. "I've been thinking..."  
Uh, oh. Those words hovered over my head like an ominous cloud.  
"You haven't told me a lot about what was going on in your world before you got here. You got to hear all the insane stories about how Emily and I met and how she is always a whirlwind of energy that brings happiness and excitement to everyone around her. Tell me about your friends and family. What has everyone been doing since the last time I saw them?"  
Bella wanted a distraction from the Emily situation. I would give it to her and then give her the answers she had been looking for.  
"Well, two interesting things came out of me being in my addiction phase. First, do you remember Rosalie Hale? She was as senior when we were freshmen in school." I could see her searching her memory.  
"Oh, yes. I remember her. She had a body like a fucking super model and a mind like Einstein. Every guy on campus wanted in her pants."  
"Well, she is a nurse at the hospital. Her and Emmett got together while I was in there."  
"Really? They would make an interesting couple," Bella told me.  
"That they do, but they are more than a couple. They are married and I am going to be an uncle in a few months. January to be exact." I grinned. I still found it incredible that my twin was getting ready to be a father. He had matured so much during his time with Rosalie.  
"What?" She shouted, and then looked around when she realized how loud she had actually been. "You are just now telling me that Emmett, the biggest goofball on the planet, is going to be a dad! Holy shit!"  
"Those were the exact thoughts I had when he told me." We both giggled.  
"Edward, all joking aside, Emmett will be an amazing father. He is a giant kid himself, so he will definitely be able to relate well to his child."  
I stroked the bottom of her chin and my thumb grazed her bottom lip on accident. "Um, that's true." I had to get my head back into this conversation. The feel of her lips, fuck me. I want my lips on hers so bad. We are just friends, I told myself. Friends shouldn't have thoughts like this about another friend. "Oh, and Jasper has finally shagged...I mean snagged himself a winning girl. They've been together since January." Dammit, he better not be shagging my little sister!  
"Really, he always seemed so fickle. He was never with any girl for very long, except that foreign exchange student that exchanged bodily fluids with almost every boy on campus. Who is it that has finally snagged his heart?"  
"Alice." I saw her face fall. I knew that Bella and Alice hadn't talked since January. They had been inseparable since Bella first moved here. While Alice had Jasper, I had noticed that there was something missing- her best friend.  
"Your sister and your best friend?" Besides the longing in her voice for her missing relationship with Alice, I heard something else that I couldn't put my finger on. "She did always have a crush on Jasper. I'm happy that they have both found someone who makes them happy."  
"They are definitely happy. The little pixie is even more chipper than ever, when Jasper is around."  
"I didn't know it was possible for her to be even more excited. What about your parents? How are Carlisle and Esme?"  
Shit. She just gave me the opening I needed.  
"They are still the same, but I did find out some interesting news about my dad and your's last night from Jasper." She looked perplexed.  
"I didn't think our dads had anything at all to do with each other anymore?"  
"That's what we all thought. Bella. You remember the restraining orders?" She nodded her head, but I felt her tense from head to toe. "Alice and Jasper went to the hospital to visit Dad and they heard him on the phone with your dad. The phone call was on speaker phone and Al and Jaz heard every word they said."  
"What is it, Edward? You can tell me anything. The truth, remember?" She ran her fingers down my cheek.  
"It was them, Bella. They lied- to all of us. There were never any restraining orders placed. Our dads just told us that because they didn't want us together anymore."  
She jumped off my lap and ran to the other side of the waiting room. Fury poured off her in waves. I got up and started to walk towards her.  
BPOV  
"My Dad, he would never hurt me that way. He wouldn't have lied to me." I was pissed off. After all this time of Edward playing the perfect gentleman, now he was showing that he hadn't changed at all. "Once a liar, always a fucking liar... huh, Edward?"  
"Bella, do you think that I wanted to tell you this and to tell it to you now?" He sounded almost exasperated with me. "I promised you that I wouldn't lie to you about anything and I meant it. I will always keep my promises. I promised Jacob that I would tell him about Emily and I have. Do you think that this is something that I actually enjoyed doing? No, I didn't, but he asked me to keep him updated, even if it was news he didn't want to hear." He ran his hands through his tousled hair and began pacing. "I tried to tell you last night right before the police arrived. Don't you remember that?"  
I did remember he was going to say something. I thought he was going to say, "Let's get it on." Then the night from Hell happened.  
"I know that we both tried to say something before we were interrupted." He walked close to me and I could see pain in his eyes.  
"Bella, I know you don't want to believe that your Dad would have lied to you about the restraining orders. I was so pissed off after Jasper told me what they'd heard. Once I had a chance to cool off, I put myself in our fathers' places. I was such a major fuck up. Shit, Bella, that's the understatement of the century. I just wanted you on my terms and no one else's. You wouldn't have gone through the trauma of having shot someone. You wouldn't have gone through all the mental and physical pain that I put you through. By taking me out of the picture, your dad was trying to make sure that I could never hurt you again. While I might not agree with how they both went about it, we wouldn't be the people that we've become today if we hadn't had the opportunity to grow-up on our own terms. You became who you wanted to be and I was able to become someone that wasn't ashamed of everything that he did."  
Every word that Edward told me made total sense. He has proven himself to me on more than one occasion. I sank down into the chair and looked up at him. Charlie was a cop, a job where he served andprotected.  
I remembered the day of the shooting and arriving to the hospital with my Dad.  
"What the hell is wrong with you Bella?" He looked me in the eyes and he could  
see that it wasn't just mental pain that I was feeling right now. "Are you hurt,  
Bells?"  
I shook my head. "No, Dad. I'm perfectly fine. It's nothing." As I tried to pull  
my arm away from Charlie, he pulled my shirt sleeve up and gasped. I looked down and  
saw a bruise on my arm. It was very clear to Charlie what caused it, since the  
bruise was the shape of a handprint... Edward's handprint.  
"I can't believe that son of a bitch did this to you, Bella!" he said through  
gritted teeth.  
"Dad."  
"Don't you 'Dad' me right now! Are you hurt anywhere else?"  
"I'm fine. I need to see how Edward is. It's my fault that he's here."  
"From the looks of things, he got exactly what he deserved," Charlie grumbled.  
"Char—Dad, how could you say that?" I said softly. "Please, I have to make sure  
he's going to be OK. I love him."  
I remembered the look of horror in Charlie's eyes when he saw the bruises. If he could have ended Edward right then and there, he would have done it. Dad would have done anything to protect his little girl and it looked like that protection extended to lying and possibly even falsifying legal documents.  
"Fuck." I mumbled to myself. I tucked my legs under my chin and placed my arms around my calves. I was trying to hold myself together yet again. All the times I cried because I thought that Edward didn't love me anymore. All the times I needed to just be near him and was told that he didn't want me near him. Lies. They were all lies! Edward had never pushed me away. It was Carlisle and Charlie who forced us out of each others' lives. I saw Edward sit down next to me. He reached out to touch me, then pulled his hand away.  
"Bella," Edward whispered. His voice was laced with pain. "It's okay to be mad at me. Maybe I shouldn't have told you." He sighed. "I'm sorry, so sorry. Maybe I should just go..."  
"No!" I shouted as my hand grabbed on to his thigh. "Don't leave me!" I fought out, as I started to cry. I couldn't picture any of my life without Edward in it. He was it for me. He was my forever and I wasn't going to let him go.  
"I don't think I can ever forgive him for this," I whispered. "I loved you. I loved you with every cell in my body, with every beat of my heart, with every breath I took. When he told me...I thought I was going to die. I didn't know how I was going to survive without you."  
"But, Bella, you did survive," Edward told me. His hand reached hesitantly to stroke my cheek. "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I thank God each and every day that you gave me a second chance, when I had done nothing to deserve it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend."  
"I don't want to be your friend, Edward." My comment startled him.  
"Okay, Bella." He stood up to leave. "I told you this was on your terms and that I wouldn't force myself on you." He started to walk away from me.  
"Edward, no! You didn't give me a chance to finish." I walked to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned and his beautiful eyes met mine. I grabbed both of his hands and held on for dear life, as my eyes remained locked with his. "I don't want to live without you anymore. I want us to try to really be together again. I've never stopped loving you, E. I don't just want to be your friend. I want us to be a couple again. What do you say?"  
His eyes watered and before he could answer me, I heard another voice from my past.  
"Isabella Marie Swan, what in the hell do you think you are doing?"


	22. ~~~~~~~~~OUTTAKE~~~~~~~~~OUTTAKE~~~~~~~~OUTTAKE~~~~~~~~~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here he is the return of the Edward that everyone loved to hate(and that some of you have really missed)! We hope you like this outtake that was written for Texas Wildfire relief. The return of the Doucheward...

EPOV  
I was sitting in the cafeteria with a smug smile on my face remembering how I snuck into Bella's house and fucked her while she was in the shower yesterday. Damn. No one can come close to making me feel the way I feel when I am pounding my cock into that sweet pussy of hers or when those full kissable lips of hers engulf my dick. I swear her mouth and those lips and tongue are fucking magical. Sometimes I enjoy those even more than that tight, warm, wet... Fuck me. Just thinking about her and I'm more than ready to take her right this fucking minute. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.  
Bella has tried to tell me that we are over. This thing that the two of us have will NEVER be over. She is fucking mine and always will be. I showed her that yesterday more than once. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I needed some action now. I bet my damn sister has Bella giving up her lunch hour yet again to work on the fucking yearbook. The state of my arousal is what Bella should really be working on.  
I had finally made up my mind to go find my Bella and get this shit taken care of when I see Mike Newton, the biggest fucking asshole on the planet, stride into the cafeteria like he owned the place. How dare he! I'm the God damn king of this fucking school and everyone knows it. He's obviously dying to get the beat down of a lifetime. I decided to see what the dumb ass Newton was up to before I went to have a quickie, or maybe not so quickie, with Bella. Newton sat down at the table across the aisle from me to chat with his little minions.  
"Hey, Newton. What took you so long?" Ben asked.  
"I had an errand to take care of," Newton told Cheney with a huge shit eating grin.  
"You are awfully happy about something, Mike. What gives?" Crowley asked.  
"I've got a date tonight." The cock sucker looked me straight in the eyes and I could feel the fury begin to build within me. He was getting ready to fucking play me of that I had no doubt at all.  
"I'm going out with Bella tonight." What the hell! I grabbed the edges of the table so hard that my knuckles were throbbing with pain. The most powerful anger I have ever felt pulsed through my entire body. A red haze filled my vision and I wanted to hurt someone and I wanted to hurt them this fucking minute. I was gonna kill that mother fucker Newton one day. No doubt about it. I got up from the table. Despite the fact that I knew he was goading me, now was not the time. He would get his and he would get it soon.  
Newton. My Bella was going out with Mike Fucking Newton! She knew I hated him with every fiber of my being.  
She wanted to play that game? I can play it better, longer and harder than anyone.  
I saw Jessica walking down the hall toward me and she gave me an almost too warm of a smile.  
"Hi there, Jessica."  
I knew how to use that "fuck me now" voice.  
I've got it down to an art form. She stopped next to me and glanced at me from under her lashes.  
"Hey, Edward. What's up?"  
I stepped close to her and wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her to me.  
"Well, Jess, I seem to be getting up right now."  
I lowered my voice and grabbed her hand leading it to my zipper. She sighed as she felt my cock getting harder.  
"Edward, I would hate to see you suffer. Is there something I could do to help you with your, not so little problem?"  
She rubbed her hand firmly over my cock and she leaned into me, whispering in my ear, her other hand rubbed across the button of my jeans.  
Damn, this was almost too easy.  
"Jess, that's quite the offer. Let's fucking go." I grabbed her hand and she giggled.  
I found the nearest empty classroom and locked the door.  
I didn't need much time.  
I slammed Jessica against the wall, kissing her neck. I shoved up her shirt and began to kiss her nipples through her bra.  
"Oh yes, Edward. I'm yours." It's not Jessica's voice that my brain hears. She is not the one who is mine.  
She unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling my dick free of its confinement. I pulled a condom out of my back pocket. Jessica ripped the packet open and sheathed me. Her hand stroked my entire length.  
I lifted her skirt and wrapped her legs and around my waist and shoved her underwear aside. I slammed my dick into her.  
"Oh, uhhh, Edward. Harder, harder."  
She wanted it hard…that's exactly what she got. I grabbed her hair hard and I hammered myself into her, even though it was not her body that I was fucking. It didn't take me long and with one last thrust, I finished.  
I knew she wasn't, but I didn't give a shit.  
I stepped back from her, grabbed a Kleenex of the teacher's desk and got rid of the condom.  
"Edward, what the fuck? What about me? I didn't cum." She whined. Fucking whined like a damn baby.  
"Jessica, you said you'd take care of my problem. I didn't say a damn think about taking care of yours."  
The bell rang as I unlocked and sauntered out the classroom door, Jessica was not far behind me, telling me to go to hell.  
Jessica had taken care of my fucking hard-on but Bella was the one that I had really been fucking. When the bell rang for class, I was hoping that Bella would be able to get a taste of her own medicine. She knew that I was going to find out about tonight's little excursion with Mike.  
I made sure that it was obvious to anyone walking by what had happened in that room with Jessica. There was that brown-eyed bitch who thought she could do what or who she wanted. I stared her straight in the eyes as I made sure to adjust my cock and my zipper. Even as pissed off as I was at Bella right now, I was getting fucking turned on again.  
She stopped in her tracks and looked me in the eye. I shrugged my eyebrows at her and turned and walked away. I was still full of rage, and as much as I would love to take that bitch by the arm and drag her out of here and show her who she belongs to, I had a plan. She wasn't the only one who needed to be taught a lesson. I chuckled to myself. Oh, Newton, when will you ever learn not to play with other people's belongings. I don't share, especially my fucking girl. He was going to have no fucking clue what was coming for him. Hell has no fury like, well, like me, Edward-fucking-Cullen.  
I kept my distance while they were out on their date. Newton was such an oblivious ass that he had no idea that I've been on his tail almost constantly since he left school today. The only time I wasn't watching was when I stopped at the local liquor store and picked up a 24-pack of beer. I needed something to do to bide my time until... Oh, Newton, you really should have kept your fucking mouth shut and stayed away from what's mine.  
I watched as he went to the local supermarket to get Bella flowers. He's such a fucking tightwad that he didn't even go to a flower shop for them. I snickered when I saw the roses. Stupid ass. Bella hates roses. She has always said that they smell like little old lady perfume.  
When he walked out of her house with his arm wrapped around her waist and her so close to him it was hard to see where Bella's body ended and where fuck head Newton began. I felt the anger flare within me again as the unopened can of beer in my hand exploded from the force I didn't even know that I was squeezing it with.  
"Fuck!" I reached in the backseat for my sports bag for one of my workout shirts and cleaned up the mess and then followed them to Bella's favorite restaurant. Mike was so unoriginal it wasn't even funny. He could try all that he wanted to be me, but that was never going to happen. Once a fucking loser, always a fucking loser.  
As they turned out of the parking lot from the restaurant, there was only one place that they could be headed; the drive-in.  
I got stuck in the traffic, yes fucking traffic. There weren't many places in this little ass town for people to go and the fucking drive-in is cheaper than a hotel room.  
It took me longer than I wanted to find them. The anger in me was about to boil over and I hoped that Newton was ready because when I was done with the fucker he would never be the same again.  
When I finally found his damn car, I knew that I was too late. He was touching my Bella. Bella and her body belonged to me and no one else. I pulled my car next to them and the windows were steamed up. I clinched and unclenched my fists. I was beyond pissed.  
I threw open my car door and jerked Newton's door open. His hands were all over her. I grabbed both of his arms and forced them behind his back as I began to pull the cocksucker out of the car.  
"Let go of me you asshole!" Newton yelled at me. The fucking nerve of him thinking he even had the right to tell me what to do.  
"Keep your damn hands off her!" I growled with fury. The first punch caused him to double over immediately. He was always all talk and no action. This was going to be so easy. I was going to end him right now and there was absolutely no one to stop me. You don't mess with Cullen without paying the ultimate price. The price of his hands having been on my Bella was death. I wanted him six feet under. The rage within me kept building and building. Each time I dealt a blow to the bastard, I was purposefully unleashing more fury and pain, well deserved pain.  
"Edward, stop! You have to stop this right now!" Bella screamed at me.  
I was surprised that I was able to hear her through the roaring in my ears.  
"She. Belongs. To. Me!" I slammed my fist into his face and I grinned when I heard the crunching of the bones as I broke his nose. There wasn't a part of his body that I left untouched. There were more crunching sounds. It didn't matter how many bones I broke because he didn't need them intact when he was fucking dead.  
I felt someone hitting me in the back and I knew who it was. I could always sense when she was near me. The fact that this cunt decided to defend the person who had just defiled her pissed me off even more.  
"Edward, you have to stop. STOP! You are going to kill him! Let him go! Please, for me, Edward... Let him go."  
I would do anything for Bella, anything, except letting him go. I would let him go after the last breath had left his body and only then. She continued to hit me and try to protect him.  
"Edward, now!" I threw Newton to the ground and spun and grabbed Bella tightly by the arms and pulled her against me.  
"My hands are the only ones that should EVER touch this body. My lips, my everything! You belong to me, Bella," I snarled. I could feel her being turned on by being this close to me. She shook her head as she told me, "No, Edward, not anymore."  
"I know you love me," I murmured in her ear as I began to gently kiss her neck. My cock needed to be in her body right now as much as I needed to take my last fucking breath. I needed my pussy.  
"Me. As I love you. You are it for me, Bella," I told her. I could feel her heart fluttering wildly in her chest. I knew that it wasn't from the anger that she had originally felt when she saw me hitting Newton. It was because she was as turned on as I was. Her body knew where it really belonged, wrapped around me.  
"What happened here?" I heard a voice break through my haze of lust. It was the damn cops.  
"Him," I heard Newton's weak voice and smiled when I heard him gasping for breath. Hopefully I broke a rib that punctured his lung and it would end that fucker soon.  
"He beat the shit out of me. I want to press charges." Mother fucker say what. I turned and looked at the asshole. He would never fucking learn. He was almost smiling. He thought that having me arrested would be a good idea. He truly is a dumb ass with no clue at all. My anger flared up again and I lunged at Newton.  
I felt arms I didn't recognize grab a hold of me. "Son, you need to stop now."  
I reached back and hit the man who was holding me in the face. No body puts their fucking hands on me!  
Suddenly there were even more hands on me as I was slammed against the hood of Newton's car. I felt the cold metal of handcuffs being put on my wrists.  
"God damn you! Let me go. Do you not know who I am?" I screamed at the cops. "You will pay for this you stupid fucks. Newton, don't you dare think that this is the end! I will take care of you. You are a stupid mother fucker!" I fought against the pigs who were trying to restrain me. I wanted to wipe that fucking grin off of Newton's face right this fucking second.  
"Edward, calm down, please," Bella told me. "You are making things worse. Please." Her voice was like fuel on the fire for me right now as I could picture what Newton had been doing to her when I arrived. He had been between her legs, legs that should only ever be wrapped around my body. His mouth had been on her and my lips claimed Bella's body years ago. His fingers had been in her body, in my fucking body!  
"Shut the fuck up, you slut!" I glared at her.  
"You know who owns you and you were with that worthless bastard!" I shouted angrily and I saw her cringe away from me.  
"Edward, no, I'm so sorry. It's only you. It's only ever been you." Suddenly the cheating bitch began to sniffle and cry. Then she reached out to me. "He means nothing to me Edward, nothing."  
"Bella, you let him do things to you that are mine to do!" I yelled at her. I didn't even recognize my own voice with the viciousness that was spilling from my lips.  
As I was led to the police car, I heard Bella's cries intensify. Fuck her. She will learn that she is mine. This wasn't over, not by a long shot. She belongs to me.


	23. Chapter 21

BPOV  
I looked over Edward's shoulder to where that authoritative voice came from.  
"Billy," I said to him as Edward moved beside me and I kept his hand in mine. "Edward, I don't know if you remember, but this is Billy Black, Jacob's dad and my Dad's best friend. Billy, this is..."  
"I know exactly who he is Bella." His sharp tone radiated anger. "What I don't know is what the hell he is doing here."  
"Bella, I'm going to give you and Mr. Black a moment to talk. I'll be right back," Edward told me as his hand caressed my cheek and his thumb brushed lightly across my lower lip, making me tremble slightly as my body became excited by these simple touches.  
"Okay," I said to him. "Please don't be long." He nodded and soothingly squeezed my hand and walked towards the nurses' station.  
"You didn't answer my question, Bella. What is Cullen doing here with you?"  
"Billy, I don't see that this matters to you. He's here with me."  
"Does your father know about you and Cullen?" Well, this was craptastic. My father was definitely not on the top of my list right now at all, after him forcing Edward out of my life by lying to us.  
"No, Billy, he doesn't know."  
"Don't you think that he deserves to know who you are spending your time with, Bella?" This was really starting to piss me off. How dare Billy try to tell me what to do and who to do it with. Evidently all of the parents in Washington felt it was their job in life to tell other people what they needed to be doing and with whom.  
"Billy, I think that it is my decision when I tell my father about Edward and me. It is my life we are talking about after all." I tried to keep my calm. I knew that Billy was worried about Jake and Emily, but he had absolutely no right to attempt to interfere in my life.  
"Bella, we all know what he did to you. You deserve better than Edward Cullen."  
"I know that you are concerned about me, but I can take care of myself. Edward is not the same person he was. He has changed just like I have. We are both very different people now. We're both better. He makes me happy. I would never be with someone who would hurt me again, Billy. Edward has learned from his mistakes. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"  
Billy didn't look too sure about anything that I had said. This was my life and I was never going to let anyone dictate how I should live it and with whom. "It is my place to tell my father and I will in my own time. OK?" I was very stern and I knew that he finally realized that he wasn't making any ground in our conversation.  
Before he could answer me, I saw Jake and Edward coming off of the elevator. Billy seemed stunned to see them together and not ripping each other to shreds. I also saw Emily's parents talking to the nurse and saw the nurse point to the direction of the waiting room. Jake saw them about the same time I did. Emily's mom hugged him cautiously, and her dad shook his good hand as they walked to the waiting room.  
"Have you heard anything else, Bella?" Emily's mom asked me as we hugged each other.  
"No, we haven't heard anything since they took her back to surgery." I walked over to Jake and hugged him. "Glad to see you up and about, Jake."  
"I'm glad to be out of that horribly uncomfortable bed," Jake told me. "Edward talked the nurse into getting me some kick ass clothes. What do you think?" He motioned to the hospital scrubs he had on.  
"You are definitely ready for the runways of Fashion Week in that ensemble," I joked with him. The tension was palpable and growing by the second, as we all got as comfortable as we could waiting for news on Em.  
Edward held my hand, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. The minutes continued to tick away and suddenly the doctor appeared before us.  
The look in his eyes said it all, before he even said a word.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Young, I'm Dr. Sandler." He sat down next to them and sighed deeply. "As you are aware, your daughter's injuries were extensive and she was revived more than once." He took a breath and said the words that broke my heart. "We did absolutely everything we could. Despite all of our efforts, Emily didn't make it. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss."  
Emily's mom began to scream, "No! No! Not my baby!" I knew that there were sobs coming from me and that Edward was doing everything he could to help comfort me. It was Jacob's reaction that would forever be ingrained in my mind. No one was able to console him. He begged and pleaded with the doctor telling him that he had to be mistaken. That Emily was going to be OK. I heard Billy choke and knew that he was reliving the moment when he lost the love of his life in a horrific accident too.  
Jacob collapsed on the floor and I sank down on the floor beside him. I took his head and cradled him against my chest. I rocked him back and forth and rubbed his back, but his cries continued to intensify. "She can't be gone. She has to be OK. She has to be OK. She's my everything. I don't know who I am without Emily. I can't live without her. I love her with all that I am."  
I didn't know what to say to Jacob. I couldn't tell him that everything was going to be OK because it wasn't. Our lives had be irrevocably changed. "I know, Jake. I know how much you love her. We all love her."  
I looked up and saw Edward watching us with tears in his eyes. I also noticed that Emily's parents were missing. I looked to where they had been sitting then to Edward. He mouthed the words "to see Emily."  
"I have to see Emily, Bella," he begged me. My hoodie was drenched with his tears. I nodded to Edward and he got up and went to the nurses' station. He motioned for us.  
"Jake," I tilted his head up and looked in his eyes and the light that had been in his eyes since he fell in love with Emily had disappeared. "Edward is going to take us so you can see Emily, okay?" He nodded weakly and I helped him up. He was shaky on his feet and Edward came to help me steady Jake.  
I looked over my shoulder and saw Billy staring intently at the three of us. "Billy, would you like to come with us?" I asked him.  
"No, Bella. I can't..." He swallowed thickly and I knew why he wasn't going. It wouldn't be Emily that he saw lying lifeless, it would be Jake's mom. He wheeled in front of us and grabbed Jake's hand. "I love you, Son. I'm so, so sorry that... I will be waiting here for you."  
Jacob didn't say a word as Edward led us to the door that lead to the OR. I heard heart-wrenching cries and saw Emily's mom and dad wrapped tightly in each others' arms. As we got to the door, my palms got clammy. My best friend was in that room and she was never coming home again. I would never hear her laugh at one of Jacob's silly jokes. I would never have our gossip time when we shared our most sacred hopes and dreams. She would never be there for me to tell her that I had indeed met the love of my life too, the person I couldn't live without like she had. I wanted to remember her alive, her bright smiling face, her contagious laughter. I wanted to remember her the way she was this time yesterday, bouncing off the walls because she was actually going to meet her favorite singer in person. She hugged me so tightly when she thanked me for letting them use my car, so she wouldn't miss the show. But I would never see her smile again. I would never hear Emily's laughter. She would never hug me again.  
"Bella, can you please come in with me?" Jacob asked in a weak voice. I didn't want to do this. I knew that our Emily wasn't behind those doors, but I had to do this for Jake. He needed me right now and I wasn't going to abandon him when he needed me most.  
"Yes." I glanced at Edward and he smiled weakly at me.  
"I will be right here waiting for you, Bella," Edward told me, as he hugged me tightly. Then I grabbed Jake's hand in mine and entered the doorway.  
Jake pulled me with him to the side of the table. Emily looked so peaceful, like an angel. I choked back a sob as I realized that, in fact, she was an angel looking over us now.  
Jake released my hand and grabbed Emily's while he brushed back her hair from her face and kissed her lips.  
"Please, Em. I can't live without you. You're not dead. You're not dead," Jacob said as he continued to stroke her face and kiss her lips tenderly. "Emily, Baby. I love you. Please, please, come back to me, Em," he pleaded.  
I placed my hand over Jake's where he had Emily's hand clasped in his. I was startled by how cold she felt.  
"Jake, honey," I said through my tears. "I want her here too, but she's gone. She's gone." I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could, as he mourned the future that was suddenly robbed because of one careless person's actions.  
"But, Bella, I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to her." I heard the door open and saw orderlies that were here to take her away from us.  
"Tell her goodbye now, Jake. It's time."  
"Emily, I will always love you. You made me such a better person that I had ever hoped to be. You brought me more joy than any one person deserved to have in a lifetime. I will be forever thankful that you were in my life and that you loved me." He kissed her one last time and walked out the door.  
"Thank you for being my friend when I needed one, Em. I love you." I kissed her cheek and walked to the door where my future awaited me.


	24. Chapter 22

EPOV  
When Bella came out of the operating room doors, I could feel the pain radiating from her body. I pulled her close to me, as she held on to me for dear life. I was stroking her back and I felt her hands grip the back of my shirt tightly.  
Suddenly, I heard doors opening and the orderlies began to move Emily's body away. Bella buried her head deeper into my chest to block the image from her sight.  
Jacob crumbled on the ground next to his father's wheelchair as Billy did his best to try to comfort Jacob. Emily's parents were clinging to each other and trying their best to cope with such an unimaginable loss. No one should EVER have to bury their child. I had never lost someone I was close to other than my dearly, beloved, ear-flicking Granny Platt. She died at a ripe old age. Emily was only eighteen. Eighteen. The age that I almost died at. If I had died, I wouldn't be here with Bella in my arms. I wouldn't have the possibility of a second chance with her. Who lived? Who died? God definitely worked in mysterious ways.  
I'm not sure how long we all stayed there trying to find and give the needed comfort that was undoubtedly out of their reach right now.  
"Bella," Jacob said with his shaky voice. "We are headed home. Are you coming?" He was fucking broken. His pain was more palpable than anyone else's in this hallway, even Emily's parents. He had lost his love, his future. In essence, he had just lost his entire life as he had envisioned it. I couldn't fucking imagine how I would feel if I was in his place. Just the thought brought tears to my eyes and hurt my heart.  
She lifted her head off my chest and looked at Jake without letting go of me. "Yes, Jake," she whispered to him.  
"Do any of you need a ride back?" I asked them. I knew that they had flown in from halfway across the country and wasn't sure if they had rented a car or not. Jacob looked like he was getting ready to accept and he looked at his father who was shooting daggers my way. Before Billy could open his mouth and tell me where he likely wanted me to put my offer, Jake answered.  
"Thanks for the offer, Cullen." He looked down at his dad again. Billy simply nodded his head. "They rented a car at the airport. We will meet you there, okay?"  
"Sure, sure," I told him. Jake pushed his dad's chair and they followed Emily's parents towards the elevator.  
Bella looked up at me again. She was so pale and I was beginning to get a little worried about her. She hadn't slept it what seemed like forever, and food, eating for her had been nonexistent.  
"Are you ready to go?" She stepped away from me and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the loss of her warm body against mine. She nodded.  
"You will stay with me, right?"  
"Bella, I am here for you as long as you need me." I won't ever be without you again. You have me forever. That's what I wanted to tell her, but this wasn't the time or the place for that. I reached out my hand to her, and when she took it, I was home.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
We hadn't been in the car long when I heard the thunderous rumbling of Bella's stomach. She giggled and smiled, even though the smile didn't reach her eyes.  
"Sorry," she said.  
"Nothing to be sorry about," I told her. "It sounds like it's time to feed the alien that has taken up residence in your stomach."  
"Edward, I don't think I could eat anything at all."  
"Bella, you need to eat. Obviously your body is telling you that it wants something in it." Oh, fuck me. That so didn't come out right. She looked at me and cocked her eyebrows. "Food. You need food in you."  
She smiled a genuine smile at me then. "I knew what you were talking about, Edward." She laughed a little. "I really need to get back home. I need to be with Jake and Em's parents." Her stomach growled a second time. It sounded like a grizzly bear.  
I pulled out my cell phone and gave it to Bella. "Call Jake and tell him we are going to stop for some food. Maybe see if they would like us to bring them anything back."  
I didn't know Oklahoma City very well. I had spent most of my time in Norman. So while Bella was on the phone with Jake, I looked at all the restaurants we were passing to see if there was anything that she might like.  
I heard her sigh and she handed me the phone back.  
"Jake said that they were good, but I really think we should get something for them just in case."  
"I see a pizza place up ahead. Mazzio's, does that work for you?"  
"Oh, that sounds wonderful." Bella's face almost lit up. "They have this Honey French dressing." She almost moaned and that sound had me choking back a moan of my own. This was not the fucking time for me to be sporting a hard-on. "The last time Emily and I went for the all-you-can eat lunch buffet, we never thought we were going to leave because Jake kept eating pizza after pizza. Emily had just eaten one slice of pizza and a small salad. We kept taking bets of how many pieces of pizza he would have with him when he got back. She guessed right every time."  
Once she finished talking, I could see the wheels turning in her head. "Oh, God," she whispered. I watched her throat bobbing as she choked back the tears. I had just parked the car in the lot of the restaurant and I turned and took her hands in mine.  
"Bella, we can go somewhere else if this is too difficult for you, but you do need to eat something. Please," I almost begged her.  
"No, Edward. This is fine. You're right. I need to try to eat something. Em wouldn't want me to..." Bella's voice trailed off and she bent her head down. I gently lifted her face with my right hand.  
"It's okay. I can't imagine what you are going through- losing your best friend. When you are ready, I would love for you to tell me all about her." She nodded and her stomach made itself known again. "Time to feed you, Baby."  
We both got out of the car and when she reached my side, we clutched each other's hands and went inside.  
While she didn't eat a lot, she did eat almost half of her salad with her favorite Honey French. I tried a bite and had to admit it was pretty damn good.  
I went ahead and ordered 2 large pizzas to take back to Bella's. I had a feeling after what I had heard of Bella's conversation with Billy Black that he wouldn't want anything at all to do with the food if it came from me. I had to try to do something to help them. Right now, feeding them was about the only thing that I could help them with.  
When I pulled into Bella's driveway, there weren't any other cars except the same Volkswagen that had been there when I came over for our movie night.  
"Didn't they say they were coming back here?" I asked her.  
"Yes, they did. Maybe they stopped to grab a bite to eat after all."  
I grabbed the pizzas from the backseat and walked towards the house. As we got to her door, I heard Bella take a deep, shaky breath as her keys turned the lock.  
We were both surprised to see the house wasn't empty after all. Billy was sitting at the dining room table, his elbows propped on the tabletop and his head in his hands.  
"Hey, Billy," Bella said to him. He looked up immediately after hearing her voice. "Where are Jake and Emily's parents?"  
"Jake is in his room. Said he has to be alone right now," Billy said in a gruff voice. "Emily's parents said they had to take care of a few things. They will be back soon."  
"Um, I brought some pizza in case you all want something to eat," she told him. I went to set the pizzas on the counter in the kitchen, while she went down the hall and knocked on a door.  
"Jake," she told him. "Edward and I brought some pizza from Mazzio's if you want some." I walked behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. She laid her head back on my chest and she put her hands on my arms. "I'm here if you want to talk or just need someone to be with you," Bella said. She got no answer and her shoulders slumped.  
"Bella, don't let it get to you that he isn't talking. He lost the love of his life and is doing the best he can to cope right now," I told her. She threw her arms around my neck and held me tightly.  
"Thanks so much, Edward, for being there for me, for Jake. It means the world to me."  
"You know I would do anything for you, Baby." I kissed her forehead.  
"I don't know what to do right now," she told me. "There is just so much that I need to do." I noticed her reach for her shoulder and try to massage it.  
"Are your muscles cramping, Bella?" I asked her.  
"Yes, not too badly really. I just feel a little tight."  
"Well, you haven't had the opportunity to relax or even get some decent sleep. Why don't you take a hot shower. It will help your muscles loosen up and will make you feel a little more comfortable."  
"Now that you mention it, a hot shower does sound wonderful." Was it me or did her voice almost sound seductive. Shit. This is not the time for these thoughts, Edward. I told myself. "What are you going to do? You're not going to leave are you?"  
"I'm here until you order me away, Bella. I will just chill around here and wait until you are finished."  
I followed her to her room and watched her head towards her bathroom. "I won't be too long."  
"Take all the time you need. I'll be here." She grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. It took a lot of self-restraint not to go watch her undress since she hadn't shut the bathroom door all the way.  
I sat down on her bed for a few minutes and took in my surroundings. Her room was so peaceful. She had some of the photos she had taken in frames around the room on her walls and on her bedside tables. Next to her bed was a photo of her, Emily and Jake together. I picked it up to get a closer look. They were all so happy. I saw another picture of Emily and Jake. The love they had for each other radiated from the looks they gave each other. You never knew what would happen tomorrow. Only right now was a certainty- a certainty I would never take for granted again.  
I heard the shower start running and closed my eyes. I could see Bella in all her naked glory. She had always been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her hair would be cascading down her back towards the top of her ass. Her nipples would be hardened on her amazing breasts. Any time her breasts got wet for any reason, her nipples would perk up calling attention to themselves. I felt myself harden as I watched her movements in my mind. I adjusted my cock that was now straining against my jeans and left her room.  
I walked down the hall and knocked on the door. "Jake, it's Edward. I know that you said you want to be alone right now, but if there is something you need please let me know. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now but you have so many people who love you and want to help. Just let us know what you need."  
I didn't get an answer and started towards the living room when I heard the door open. Jake didn't say a word as he motioned for me to enter his room.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
BPOV  
I groaned when I began to feel the hot water turn cooler on my body. I wasn't sure how long I'd been in here, but it was long enough to run the hot water heater totally dry of hot water.  
I sighed, turned the water off and reached for a towel. After I dried my body, I wrapped the towel around my hair while I got dressed. I put on a comfortable pair of knit capris and a Kings of Leon t-shirt. I used the towel to try to get as much water out as I could and decided to let my hair air dry. I didn't have the energy or desire to do anything else with it.  
When I opened my bedroom door, my heart sank. Edward was gone. As I turned to look out the window, I saw a car I didn't recognized, which was likely the Young's rental car. My heart calmed quickly when I saw Edward's car was still in the drive-way.  
I walked out of the room and still no Edward. Billy hadn't moved from his spot at the dining room table. I did notice that one of the pizza boxes was gone. Maybe Billy was able to get Jake to eat something after all.  
I heard a noise coming from Emily's bedroom. When I reached the room, there were boxes laying around everywhere. Emily's parents were haphazardly throwing each and everyone of her belongings in box after box.  
I cleared my throat so they would know I was here.  
"Bella," Emily's dad said.  
"What are you doing with all of Emily's things?"  
"We can't leave them here. Since Emily is gone, all of her things belong with us. We will have everything packed by the end of the night and have arranged for a shipping company to come and pick up everything in the morning," her mother said in an almost harsh tone.  
"There is no rush." I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Emily yet. There were so many memories Emily and I had shared in this room- her first time with Jake, the first time they said they loved each other. Those and many other things happened while we fiddled with Emily's collection of decorative pillows that adorned her bed- the pillows that were now being forced into boxes.  
"She's gone. She's not coming back. We refuse to come back to this place ever again. If she had done what we had wanted and stayed in Washington for school, she would still be alive," her mother told me in a tone that almost made me jump at its coldness. Those words felt like a slap to my face. Emily had always said that her parents were extremely unhappy about her independent behavior.  
"Okay, I'm just going to check on Jake." Her parents merely made grunting noises and as I made it to the hallway I leaned against the wall and took some deep breaths and tried to compose myself.  
I made my way to Jake's room and was startled when the door opened. To my surprise it wasn't Jake who stepped out into the hallway, but Edward with red-rimmed eyes.  
"How is he doing?" I asked Edward as I gently stroked his cheeks that had been tear-streaked at some point during his conversation with Jake.  
"Jake's strong. He's coping the best he can right now. How are you?"  
I stood up and whispered in his ear. "Emily's parents are packing everything of hers. They are taking all of it home with them." I felt tears escape my eyes and Edward brushed them away.  
"I know, Baby. I'm sorry. They told Jake what they were planning on the drive from the hospital. He said they were claiming it was something related to the Native American culture and had to be taken now. Jake seemed to think it was because they were more than a little on the controlling side."  
"They didn't even... All I wanted was one of her pillows, something of hers to keep with me, something that meant something to her and to me."  
"Ask them, Bella. All they could say is no."  
"Edward, they are such cold people. They are just throwing all of her things around like they are nothing, like they are worthless. They were something. They were important to Emily or she wouldn't have had them to begin with. I can't stay here while they are here. Can we, can we please just go? Somewhere? Anywhere else?"  
"Of course, Baby. Let me tell Jake and then we can head out."  
I was almost jealous of Edward in that moment. He just walked into Jake's room and I even heard Jake talk to him, but he wouldn't talk to anyone else.  
"How about we head to my place, Bella?" Edward told me after leaving Jake's room again. "I need to get cleaned up. We also need to let our professors know that we will be going out of town for Emily's funeral." I hadn't even thought of that.  
"You're right. Let me grab my laptop and my cell charger and we can head out."  
"Okay. I will wait in the living room for you," Edward told me.  
As I grabbed my laptop and shoved it and my phone charger into the bag, I decided that I should maybe take a change of clothes with me. If Emily's parents were staying in my house tonight, I knew that it would be impossible for me to be under the same roof with them.  
I grabbed a set of clean undies, my most comfy pair of extra worn jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed a fresh hoodie out of the closet and walked to the living room where Edward was waiting for me.  
"I'm ready to go." He grabbed my bag from my shoulder. "Edward, I can carry that myself. It's not like it's heavy." I laughed at him.  
"Let me help you out, Bella." I sighed. Once this new Edward got his mind set on doing something nice for you there was absolutely no talking him out of it.  
He also grabbed my purse off of the table by the front door and handed it to me.  
"Thanks, E," I told him. "Billy, I am going to Edward's. Call me if you or Jake need anything at all." Billy looked up at me and merely nodded.  
O_O_O_O_O_O  
I wasn't surprised when Edward pulled into the gated community of luxury condos near campus. We only lived about 5 minutes away from each other.  
These condos were actually some of the most expensive property in the Norman area. They had just opened at the beginning of the semester. Some of these condos even cost more than my Aston Martin.  
"Nice digs here, Edward." I grinned at him as he pulled into his reserved covered parking spot.  
"Well, if it weren't for Granny Platt, I'd likely be slumming it," he laughed.  
"Oh, that's right. Granny Platt left all you grandkids a nice little nest egg."  
Edward's face turned into the crooked smile that I loved so much and I could see in his eyes that he was thinking about something.  
"What?" I asked him and he looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. "What put that big smile on your face? You looked so far away."  
"Oh, remind me some time to tell you a story about my most recent memory of Granny Platt." He reached up and rubbed his ear and shook his head.  
"I feel like I'm missing out on a pretty funny tale here, E."  
"You have no idea, Bella. No idea at all," he said as his voice trailed off. We got out of the car and walked to the elevators and it was no surprise that we got off on the top floor.  
He opened the door and we walked into near opulence. The wooden floors were beautiful. I swear I could still smell the newness of the condo.  
"Um, so welcome to my place." Edward sounded almost shy as we entered the doorway. "My original condo was on the lower level, but once we realized I needed more room for rehab equipment, I upgraded to this larger unit even though it isn't ground level. This floor has both of the bedrooms and the full baths. My bedroom is the one on the left and the guest bedroom is on the right," he spoke quickly and slightly awkwardly. My heart may have fluttered just a little. He was just too damn cute for words right now. I'd never, ever seen Edward totally out of his element. He had always run the show and had been overly confident about each and every thing that he did. I was probably enjoying this moment of him being out of his element a whole hell of a lot more than he was. "Upstairs is the kitchen, living area and the dining area that we converted into a mini rehab center for me."  
I touched his arm tenderly. "Edward, it's magnificent."  
"Let me show you the upstairs."  
He led me up the stairs to the living area. I turned a full circle taking in the sight before me. "It's simple yet totally elegant. It is perfect for you, Edward." If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn that he fucking blushed just a little bit. As I walked through the kitchen I was certain that I had drool coming out of my mouth. Brand new, top of the line, stainless steel appliances. Granite tops on the counters. The most incredible center piece I'd ever seen, the granite-covered island with a copper pot and pan holder that hung from the ceiling and was filled with my dream set of pans.  
"I think I'm in heaven," I mumbled. I looked over and Edward smiled the most perfect smile.  
"I should have known that it would be the kitchen that would call to you," he smirked at me.  
"Don't get any ideas, Mister," I said to him as I playfully poked at his chest. He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine.  
"There's something else I want to show you," he told me as he led me to a sliding glass door that he opened. He walked me out onto an incredible roof-top terrace that was filled with padded wrought iron chairs and a lounger. They surrounded a magnificent clay chiminea. There was also a stainless steel grill in the corner. We walked to the side of the terrace and I had never imagined that Norman, Oklahoma would be this beautiful at night.  
"The view is gorgeous," I told him.  
"Yes, it definitely is," Edward said as he looked directly in my eyes. In that moment, I knew that he wasn't talking about the scenery of Norman. I shivered slightly. "Let's get you back inside. I wouldn't want you to catch a cold," he whispered as his thumb gently rubbed patterns on the back of my hand, causing me to shiver again.  
As we entered the living room, Edward told me, "I think it's time for me to take my shower now. I've got wireless internet, so you can start contacting your professors to let them know what's going on. Feel free to help yourself to anything. Mi casa es tu casa."  
"Thanks, Edward." I opened my Mac and plopped down in the plush over-sized suede rocker, recliner. It was so warm and cozy I was pretty sure that I never wanted to leave it.  
As I tried to connect to the internet, I noticed that it was password protected. I ran to the open area near the stairwell that looked down on the first floor. "Hey, Edward. I need your wireless password," I yelled to him.  
He came into my sight and my heart slammed into my chest rapidly. He had taken off his shirt. Fuck. Me. Hard. I wanted to lick every crevice of those chiseled abs. He paused just a moment before he answered me. I wondered if it was just so I could have a little longer enjoying the fan-fucking-tastic eye candy that he was giving me.  
"It's newbeginnings2011, all lower case letters." He waved a small wave and was out of my sight again. That password said so much on so many levels. It was definitely one that he created himself. This was definitely a new beginning- for both of us. I would have never expected that October 2011 could be so different from October 2010.  
While my email account loaded, I pulled my cell out of my purse. I hadn't used it since we had gotten to the hospital. The battery had totally died. I plugged my iPhone in and turned it on. I had over 100 missed calls and almost as many voicemails, most from my da-, Charlie. As far as I was concerned he was not my father. A real father wouldn't play with the lives of their children, maneuvering them like marionettes and manipulating their children's lives and emotions.  
As I entered the 10-digits to call my real parent, my mom, I prayed that she hadn't played a role in the restraining orders. It was not something I wanted to talk to her about on the phone. My mom was like me. She couldn't tell a lie if her life depended on it. If I was face to face with her, I would be able to tell if she was being truthful or not. She picked up before the first ring finished.  
"Oh, my baby girl. I'm so, so sorry. How are you holding up?"  
"I miss her already, Mom," I sobbed. "It is so hard for me to believe that Emily is really gone."  
"I know, Sweetie. I wish I was there to hug you and to try to make everything better. I can be on the next flight to Oklahoma. All you have to do is ask," Mom told me.  
"Her services are going to be in La Push on Wednesday. I'm going to try to book a flight for Tuesday morning. Can you please come to the funeral?" My voice quivered a little.  
"Of course, I will be there." She paused for a moment. "Your father told me he has been trying to get a hold of you since he found out about the accident. Have you talked to him yet?"  
I had to force myself to be calm. Just hearing the word father pissed me off royally. "Not yet, my battery had died while I was at the hospital. I just now have had time to try to start charging it. I'll get in touch with him soon." Oh, I'd like to touch, Charlie. I'd like to slap the shit out of him and find out what in the hell he was thinking by lying to me and hurting me the way he did.  
"Okay, Bella. You sound so tired. Get some rest, Sweetie. I'm here if you need me. Don't hesitate to call me. I don't care what time it is."  
"Thanks, Mom. I love you. See you Wednesday."  
"Oh, I love you too, Baby. I'll be there." I had barely hung up the phone and it started to ring again. It was his number. I hit ignore and turned the ringer off. I had to fight the urge to throw my phone into the wall.  
I had nothing to say to him but I knew that he would keep it up all day and all night. The cop in him was just so damn persistent. I grabbed my phone and sent a text.  
I'm too sad and too tired to talk right now. I need some rest and to be left alone. I will be in La Push for the funeral. A friend from school is coming with me.  
I hit the send button and took some deep breaths.  
It didn't take long until he responded.  
Call me as soon as you wake up. I would really like to talk to you in person so I know how you are doing. I love you.  
Sure you do, Dad. I said to myself. He wouldn't know love if it came up and bit him on his ass.  
I had just sent the email to my last professor when I heard Edward's footsteps on the stairs. I sat the laptop down and I think my chin hit the floor when I saw him as he turned the corner. He had on worn Levi's that hung low on his hips and a skin tight white t-shirt. He was towel drying his hair and when he raised his hands above his head his shirt road up above his belly button.  
I swallowed thickly as my eyes followed that well defined V that pointed straight to a part of him that I would love to reacquaint myself with. I squirmed in my seat. I could feel my core beginning to overheat and I knew that I was wet.  
He sat down on the couch on the end closest to the chair I was in. He thew the towel on the floor and pointed to my laptop. "Did you get everything taken care of?" He asked me.  
"Yes, I called my mom. She's going to come from Phoenix. I found some possible flights for us but I didn't make reservations yet because I wasn't sure what time you could fly out on Tuesday."  
"Whatever works for you. Whenever you want to go to La Push, I will be there by your side, Bella. I'm here for you for anything. Anything you need at all."  
"Anything?" I asked him.  
"Of course." His voice was full of such certainty. I rose from the chair and stood in front of him. I began to lower myself so my knees were straddling his thighs and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Um, Be..." I attacked his mouth before I could give him a chance to protest. We moaned in each other's mouths while our tongues were plundering deeply into each other's mouths. While our lips continued to battle forcefully, I moved my hands from around his neck and put them at his waist. Edward's hands moved to the small of my back gently circling above my ass.  
My fingers made their way under his shirt as I began to stroke the defined muscles of his stomach. I reach up higher and my finger nails scraped gently across his nipples and he kissed me even harder. His hand began to reach slightly under my capris while his erection was anything but slight.  
I started grinding against him, trying to find some release for this ache that I was feeling. His hands moved to my shoulders and down my arms. I removed my hands from under his shirt and reached for the hem of my KOL shirt and began to try to raise it over my head. Edward grabbed my hands and stopped my movements and his lips slowly stopped mating with mine.  
"Bella, stop. We can't do this."  
"You don't want me?" I felt his rejection to the depths of my soul. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment.  
His palms gently caressed my reddened cheeks. "Of course, I want you. I've always wanted you and I always will, Bella, but not like this. You just lost your best friend. I want you to be sure about us, that youreally want this just as much as I do."  
I put my hands on his neck with my thumbs grazing his swollen lips. "Edward, life has no guarantees. We don't know anything for certain but right now. I have no doubt at all that I want you. I want this."  
Before he could protest, I pulled my shirt over my head leaving my chest covered with my sheer pink bra. I reached back behind me to undo my bra when Edward's lips met mine.  
Our actions were just as frantic as before. Edward helped me remove my bra and his rough palms cupped my breasts and I couldn't keep my hips still. His thumbs flicked my nipples and I shivered in pleasure. I reached to remove his shirt and we broke our kiss long enough for me to pull it over his head.  
I flicked his nipples again as his lips met mine and we both moaned into each other's mouths. My thighs tightened their hold around his hips as I tried to get his erection to hit me in just the right place. I finally found it and I began to rock back and forth against him, but I wanted, I needed so much more. My hands followed the V to the top of his jeans. I popped the buttons loose and I thanked my lucky stars that Edward had forgone wearing underwear tonight.  
Edward and his cock both jerked in excitement as I wrapped my hands firmly around him. I looked at his hardened length, while my tongue darted out and then I licked my lips.  
EPOV  
I thought I was going to fucking die when I felt her small hands tighten their hold on my dick. I had to start citing a variety of different types of physical therapy exercises in my head to keep from cumming as her finger swept over the tip and began to massage my pre-cum around my cock.  
We may both be different people from the last time we were together, but our bodies remembered each other perfectly. Our bodies were willing, ready and able to give and take as they needed.  
I grabbed her by the waist and laid her down on the couch while my body covered her. When her nipples hit my chest we both moaned and pulled each other closer. Her hands moved from my cock and began to push my jeans down my hips. I kicked them away when they hit my ankles. Her fingernails dug tightly into my back as my hands found their way under her capris and towards her drenched pussy. I inserted my middle finger deep and curved it towards her g-spot as my thumb rubbed circles over her clit.  
"Oh, fuck, Edward, right there!" I didn't want her to cum without my cock buried deep inside her. This would be our last first time together. Bella was going to be mine forever. There was never going to be anyone else and I wanted to remember this moment for the rest of my life.  
As I tried to remove my hand, Bella's hand clutched my wrist. "Don't. Stop," she panted.  
"I'm not planning on it, Baby. I want us to be together when you cum." She grinned at me wickedly and helped me remove her capris and her sheer pink thong. We began to kiss again. As our tongues began to mimic the motions that our bodies were preparing to make, there was a loud, near deafening rumble. Suddenly, everything began to move.  
"Holy shit!" I screamed. "I think we're having an earthquake, B," I said as I tried to pull away from her.  
"You always did know how to rock my world, Edward. Fuck me, please." She pulled me back and the trembling and sounds got worse. Bella's laptop fell on the floor as the shaking intensified. She pushed me off her and screamed, "You're right. We are having an earthquake!"  
We both ran to the stairwell and held on until the shaking stopped. It seemed like it lasted for hours. Even when the earthquake stopped, it still felt as though we were moving.  
"I can't fucking believe it. An earthquake in Oklahoma!" Bella said.  
"I know." I turned on the TV and the news said that preliminary report from the USGS put the quake at the biggest in Oklahoma history, a 5.6 that was centered not far from Norman.  
Bella came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist and her lips kissed me between my shoulder blades. I shivered as I felt her tongue caress my skin. Her hands began to lower and I grabbed them in mine and turned around to face her.  
"As much as I would love to continue this and believe me with everything that I am, that I want to be buried so deep in you that I can't even remember my name. Will you come somewhere with me please? It is really important to me, Bella. If you are in this with me for the long haul, I want you to see something that will always be a part of my life, of our lives." I wasn't sure how she was going to react to this and I should have shared this with her long before now.  
"Of course I will," Bella said. We got dressed our eyes never straying from each other's. "Where are we going?" Bella asked as we got into the car.  
"We're not going far. You need to really know what you are getting yourself into if we are going to be together again."  
The community center was only about a mile from my place. I pulled into the parking lot and looked at her.  
"Do you trust me?" I asked her.  
"Yes, yes I do," she told me. My heart was warmed by the certainty of her words. I grabbed her hand and we entered the room. There weren't many people here but a few told me hello and Bella looked at me with questions in her eyes.  
We took seats in the second row and I didn't let go of her hand as the meeting began.  
"Do we have anyone who would like to speak tonight?" The meeting leader asked as he looked around the room.  
I let go of Bella's hand and stood up, "My name is Edward and I am a drug addict."


	25. Chapter 23

****

****

BPOV  
I sat with rapt attention as I heard Edward recount his story about how is drug addiction started. My eyes never left his beautiful face as he spoke of its escalation and how it almost took his life. I had heard this story before, but after what happened with Emily, this story hit me with  so  much more force now.  
When he finished and sat back down, I took his hand in mine and brought the back of it to my lips and kissed it gently. In that moment I closed my eyes and let myself imagine what could easily have been if he hadn't stopped when he did. I could be facing the rest of my life with uncertainty- without this beautiful man beside me ever again, without his love that made me feel more complete than I ever imagined. I said a quick prayer thanking God for sparing Edward's life and allowing him to come back to me- to come back to me as a person that I now saw as a part of my future.  
I opened my eyes and saw Edward looking at me with questions in his eyes. I kept my hand locked with his as my other hand reached up and caressed his cheek, then his lips. His smile from those small gestures sent my heart beating into overdrive.  
It was heart-wrenching to hear all of the other stories from the others at the meeting. Some of them had killed people they loved because of their addictions. Others had lost everyone and everything they ever cared for. Edward was one of the lucky ones, if you could call an addict lucky. He still had his friends and his family. He also had me.  
We didn't linger after the meeting. Edward didn't say a word as he lead me to his car, opening the door for me before getting in on his side. He sighed deeply as he sat in the car and turned to look at me.  
"Bella, if we are really going to be together, you need to know that I  am  a drug addict. Just because I don't take the pills anymore doesn't take that stigma away from me. Once an addict, always an addict. It is a disease. As you heard tonight, some people stay clean once they face their addiction. Others do backslide and allow drugs to rule their life again. Sometimes it is like a roller coaster ride where people are on a constant cycle of using and being clean. That tendency  is  in me and it is going to be there forever. I don't  ever  plan to touch another drug again. I can't tell you that there aren't days when I crave them more than my next breath of air. Sometimes, after days like today, there is a place in my mind that says that a pill would have taken the edge off of everything. I don't get the cravings often but when I do, I think about where I was when I took the pills. I think about everyone I hurt by my actions. I think about those that I could hurt if I started again. If that doesn't work, I talk to my sponsor or even make a trip to an NA meeting. Sometimes I just come to a meeting because I want to be there for others and I  need  to hear what others like me have to say."  
Edward finally stopped and took a deep breath. "This is something that isn't ever going away. Fuck, I wish I could take so many things that I did wrong in my life back and get a do-over, but I know I wouldn't be who I am today if I did that. I want, no, I  need  to be with you. I can't imagine my life, my future, without you in it. You are absolutely everything to me. Can you- are you willing to take me as I am, every flaw and all? I need to know if you are willing to share that future with me, Edward Cullen, drug addict."  
His eyes and face were so pained with every word he spoke to me. I knew from what I'd read in the past that addiction is a disease. Was this something that I could handle? Could I spend the rest of my life with the thought in the back of my mind that he could always slip into that world of addiction again? As I looked deeply into those jade eyes that were boring into my soul, my heart and mind answered and agreed with each other immediately.  
"Edward, I can't imagine my life without you in it either. You are it for me. You are everything to me as well. I think that this weekend has proved that as long as we have each other, that we can get through anything and everything that life throws at us. I am yours for as long as you'll have me."  
I leaned across the console and kissed him with my heart, soul, and every ounce of love I felt for this man. I felt the tension leave his body as my body showed him that every word I had just spoken to him was heartfelt and honest.  
As the kiss ended he reached for my palm and kissed it tenderly. "Bella, I can't tell you what this means to me." He kissed my palm again sending butterflies to my stomach and searing heat to my nether regions. Fuck, what he did to me with just the slightest gesture should be illegal.  
"Edward, we are in this together."  
"Forever," he whispered as his lips began to ghost over mine.  
"Forever," I agreed.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
As we arrived back at Edward's I couldn't stifle the yawn as we entered his condo.  
"It's really late and there is a lot to be done before we head back to Washington. We should go to bed," Edward told me.  
"You're right. Let me grab my bag and change." As I began to dig through the bag, I quickly realized that I hadn't packed anything to sleep in. I went back downstairs and poked my head in his bedroom. He had changed into pajama pants that hung low on those incredible hips of his. I gulped. It should be against the law to look as good as he does. "Um, Edward..." He turned and look at me and I almost pouted as I watched him pull a worn t-shirt over his head. "I didn't pack anything to sleep in. Can I borrow a shirt?"  
"Sure," he told me as he reached into his dresser and pulled out a worn shirt and handed it to me. As our fingers accidentally brushed each other, I felt the familiar tingle like we created electricity when we were together. That current went straight to my girly parts that had almost had their dream come true earlier before the freak earthquake rocked our world. My world just so didn't get rocked the way that I imagined it would.  
"Thanks," I smiled at him and pointed to his bathroom. "Do you mind if I change in there?"  
"Of course," he assured me. "I want you to feel at home here." As I walked into the bathroom, I breathed in the scent that was all Edward, a combination of his unique musky scent and whatever incredible type of body wash he was using. I took off my shirt, unhooked my bra and slid my pants off. I hesitated a moment before I also pulled my underwear down my legs. I pulled Edward's shirt over my head and it hit me on my upper thighs, barely covering my  assets . With the light hitting me just right, it all of those assets were subtly showing off. My nipples were hard and very obviously wanting to be attended to. The hair at the apex of my thighs was slightly visible through the fabric with the light behind me. I closed my eyes and remembered how Edward had touched me earlier and how I wanted and needed so much more from him.  
I folded up my clothes and set them on the side of his bathroom counter top. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Edward had turned the main lights in his bedroom off with only his bedside table illuminating his well-sculpted face. I leaned in the door jamb of the bathroom with the lights shining behind me and struck a sexy pose, my breasts sticking out begging for his fingers and his lips as one of my arms was propped on my hip and the other was behind the back of my head. The t-shirt rode up my thighs a little giving Edward a slight view of my pussy. I saw him visibly gulp and his fists grabbed the bedsheets tightly. He was fighting for his self control and I was more than willing to help him lose it.  
I turned behind me and shut off the bathroom lights. He swallowed thickly and looked me over from top to bottom and back again. I was pretty sure that his eyes lingered on my upper thighs before his eyes met mine. Edward smiled cautiously at me.  
"You're welcome to the guest bedroom if you want." I knew that disappointment clouded my features as he said those words. He looked at me nervously and pulled the sheet beside him up. "Or you can sleep here, with me."  
I wanted to do more than sleep with him. I wanted to be bad with Edward right now, very, VERY bad.  
"Here, I want to be with you," I told him as I walked in and got under the sheet and leaned over, wrapping my arms around his torso and kissing him. He kissed me back, but he was definitely NOT as into as we were before that earthquake.  Fuck you mother nature! I need to get laid NOW!  I told myself.  
"Bella, as much as I would like to throw you down on this bed and shove my cock so deep inside you that you didn't know what hit you, we both are exhausted and I want this, us..." He motioned between the two of us with his hand. "There will be no one else for me ever, but you. I want our last first time to be so amazing, so intense, so perfect. It will be so magical that nothing else in the universe could ever compare to it now or ever. I want it to be you and me and nothing else between us. As much as we both want to just feel alive right now, I want to wait. We need to wait. We will know when the right time is for us and when it does, we will be the ones rocking mother nature's world."  
We both giggled and I sighed deeply when he wrapped his arms around me, my head nestled upon his chest. "My body is so going to hate me, but you're probably right. I've got to say goodbye to my best friend in a few days." I closed my eyes, squeezed Edward more tightly in my embrace and he pulled me even closer to him. Another thought came front and center in my brain. I didn't just have to deal with the funeral. Charlie, the sperm donor who helped create me, would undoubtedly be there, as well. What the hell was I going to say to the man who thought he could decide who I give my heart to and who I could love?  
"Night, Bella. I hate it that you are here with me because of what happened, but I am so grateful to have you in my arms right now." He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back gently.  
I reached up and kissed him near his chin. "Good night, Edward. I can't imagine anywhere else that I'd rather be right now." I burrowed deeper into Edward's warmth and silently thanked God once more for sparing Edward's life and bringing the man he should have been all along into my life where I wanted him to stay until the end of days.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
When I woke up the next morning, I woke up to an empty bed and was instantly disappointed until my hand reached Edward's pillow where I felt a sheet of paper.  
B-  
I didn't want to leave your arms at all, let alone, wake you, but I needed to get started on my physical therapy exercises this morning.  
Your bag is in the bathroom if you'd like to take a shower and get ready for the day.  
I'll be upstairs whenever you're ready.  
Yours always,  
E  
I was almost startled when I looked at the clock and saw that it was after 10 am. I dragged myself out of bed and decided that I better check my cell to see if I had any messages from Jake. I inwardly cringed when I saw more messages from him. I wasn't ready to talk to  him  because I had no idea what I wanted to say to him.  
I shot Jake a text.  
I love you and I'm thinking about you. Let me know if you need anything today. Edward and I are heading to Washington on Tuesday morning. -B  
Surprisingly, it didn't take long for him to text me back.  
Dad and I are heading back later tonight. Emily's parents left on the first flight after the storage people came today. -J  
Halle-fucking-luja the parents of the year were out of my house. I wanted to make sure that I saw Jake before we left so I decided to get ready so I could face what was sure to be a much different home than I had left yesterday.  
I will be there to see you soon. Please don't leave until I get there. -B  
I had barely set the phone down on the counter when it started to vibrate- Charlie, again. I wish  he'd  leave me the hell alone already. I threw the phone into my bag and got into the shower.  
It wasn't long before I was dressed in my skinny jeans and t-shirt with my damp hair cascading down my back and heading upstairs to see Edward. The site of him took my breath away. He was working out on an elliptical machine. Each movement had his muscles flexing and he was covered from head to toe in a slight sheen of sweat. It was almost like he was one of those oiled up male models for a fitness magazine ad. The sight had me wanting to do so many things to him. I'd start by licking and kissing him from head to toe.  
I cleared my throat and his smile made the day that was destined to be difficult to deal with just a little bit brighter. "Morning," I told him.  
He stepped down from the machine and grabbed a towel and began to dry himself off. Damn, how I wanted my lips to be in place of that towel.  
"Good morning." That Greek God made his way over to me and kissed me ever so gently on my lips. I was pretty sure that I was now a puddle of goo on the floor.  
"I just texted Jake and he and his dad aren't flying out until this afternoon. I need to see him before they head up North," I told him.  
"Okay, I can be showered and ready to go in about 15 minutes. I made coffee this morning. I set out a cup for you and some mocha flavored creamer for you. I also have some chocolate Pop Tarts on the counter if you're hungry."  
Could he really be more perfect?  I asked myself. I was overwhelmed by how well he was taking care of me. Every time that I had even the slightest doubt that the  old  Edward was somewhere inside of him, Edward proved me wrong without even knowing that I was having doubts.  
"Wow, thanks, Edward. Coffee and Pop Tarts sound perfect."  
"You're very welcome my Bella. I'll be back in a bit so we can go," he told me.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
I was surprised to see a cab waiting in front of my house when I got there. Billy was already in the cab but Jake was sitting on the front steps, obviously waiting for me.  
Jake got up as soon as Edward pulled into the drive-way.  
"Hey, Bells," Jake said as he enveloped me in a huge hug.  
"Hi, Jake." I hugged him back harder than I had ever hugged anyone before. As I released him, I saw the sadness of his features and I just wanted to do anything to help erase the pain but I knew that even time wouldn't make it all go away. "I thought you weren't leaving for a while."  
"Yeah, well, Dad wanted to try to get there early. He hates flying anyway and being in the chair adds a lot of time for us getting in and out easily. I wasn't going to go without saying goodbye, even though I know I will see you tomorrow." His voice cracked at the end and the fissure in my heart that Emily's death caused, opened up a little more as I felt a tear fall down my cheek.  
"Thanks for waiting for me. You know that I'm here for you, day, night," I told him.  
"I know. Unfortunately, no one can help me with how badly I am missing her and needing her with me right now. That's the only thing I want and I can't have it," Jake shrugged. "I've seen how Dad is even years after losing Mom. I know what everyone always says. 'It's not fair.' 'She'll never  really  leave you.' 'She's always with you in your heart.' None of that fucking means a thing without her here by my side, with me for the rest of my days like I had planned. I guess God just loved to fuck my family over. Destroying the lives of the Black men must be at the top of his damned to do list."  
Every word he spoke was filled with anger and resentment of having taken Emily away. I couldn't really blame him. Their family had suffered such a horrible loss when his mother was killed. He shouldn't be facing this type of pain again. It  wasn't  fair. It wasn't fair at all. People weren't given more then they can handle. I had heard that expression many times, but how much more could he take before he broke. If I didn't have someone, the person who was definitely my  one  with me, I wasn't sure that I could make it through this.  
I reached up and palmed his cheek. "I miss her too, Jake."  
"Sure, sure," he told me as he backed away from me. I knew that he was coping the best he could but I missed her too. I just wished he would open up to me.  
"Jake," Edward reached up and embraced him. I was pretty sure my mouth hit the concrete of the sidewalk with a resounding thud when I saw Jake hug him back. Edward hadn't told me what they talked about yesterday, but obviously they had buried the hatchet. To someone looking from the outside, it looked like they were close friends.  
Before Edward let go, I saw him whisper something into Jake's ear. I couldn't hear what was said but Jake nodded. Edward gently tapped him on the shoulder.  
"You're coming with Bella to the... to La Push, right?" Jake asked.  
"Yes, we will both be there," Edward told him.  
"Okay, thanks again, man. For everything," Jake told him as he came up to me and hugged me.  
Jake whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm being a dick or something, Bells. I just don't fucking know what to do right now. I know you miss her too. She loved you, so much." He choked on his words and he stepped away and wiped the tears that were beginning to fall from his eyes. "I love you too, Bells." I nodded since I felt the tears rising up. I didn't trust myself to talk.  
I almost ran to Jake as I threw my arms around his neck. The tears were flowing freely for both of us now. We both held on like we never wanted to let go. I knew we weren't just holding on to one another. We were trying to find a way to hold on to Emily too. I heard a horn honk and stepped back as Jake released me. He raised his hand and wiped the tears from my face. He looked over his shoulder at Edward then back to me.  
"Don't let him go, Bella." Jake kissed me on the cheek as he walked to the cab. Edward came and pulled my back against his chest as I watched Jake leave.  
"Fuck," I almost shouted. "This shouldn't have ever fucking happened." I was almost as angry as Jacob. "Did you notice that Jake couldn't even say Emily's name? I agree with Jake. This isn't fair and it shouldn't be this way. This was not supposed to happen."  
"Bella, God works in mysterious ways."  
"It's times like this that I wonder if there even is a God. No one should have to go through this twice. Jacob and Emily were  happy - so happy. They deserved to be happy together."  
Edward grabbed my hand trying his best to calm me by rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Baby, I know that you are hurting. I know that Jacob is hurting. I know you are both so pissed that you would like to be left in a room with that drunk driver and beat him until he takes his last breath. No matter what you do, Emily is gone. If I could change that for you and Jacob, I would do it no matter the cost, but I can't. Just know that you and Jake will have each other to get through this. You have me too, Bella. I'm  here ."  
I laid my hands and my forehead on his chest and Edward put his hands gently on my shoulders.  
"Let's get inside, B." Edward dug my keys out of my bag and opened the door. I walked down the hall with one destination in mind. "Are you sure you want to do this right now, Baby?"  
I paused with my hand on the doorknob. "I  have  to, Edward," I could barely hear those words as I spoke them. I closed my eyes tight and turned the knob and pushed the door open. I felt Edward behind me, so I knew that I wasn't doing this on my own. I counted to ten before I opened my eyes.  
I walked in and turned 360 degrees. It was gone.  Everything  was gone.  
I sank to my knees in the middle of the room and couldn't stop my heartbreak from overflowing.  
"It's like she was never even here, E." He sank down on the floor next to me. I laid my head on his lap as I mourned for my best friend who was more like the sister I had always wanted and never had. I would never  have that friend again.  
"Bella, close your eyes. Remember the first day that you met her." I did close them and I could remember her exuberance and that instant feeling of connection with her. "Remember the first time you shared a secret with her." I remembered telling her about the man who destroyed me. The man that I would never forgive. The man that I loved. The man that I'd hated. She'd never meet the new man that I loved. "Remember all the times that you shared a special moment with her that only belonged to you and her, no one else." I did. I could see her face when she admitted that she loved Jacob and that she had never imagined that he would feel the same way about her. I had never seen her as happy as I did when she said his name- or even when she heard it. "You will NEVER forget her, Baby. She's here." He touched my head. "Most importantly, she's here." Edward touched the upper left part of my chest, my heart. "You and Jacob will make sure that she is  never  forgotten. She will always live in the memories that I know you will never lose of her."  
He was right. My head knew that but my heart was having a hard time facing the pain. Another pain hit my chest. This one wasn't about Emily. It was about Charlie.  
"Edward, he's going to be there tomorrow."  
"Who, Baby?"  
"Him, Charlie, the liar, the fucking life altering manipulator." He nodded solemnly. "He's been calling me constantly, wanting to talk. Obviously, he doesn't know that I know about the restraining orders, but I don't know what to say to him. What do you say to the person who decided to play God? That's basically what he did with your father when they decided to take our lives into their hands."  
Edward ran his hands through his hair. "I understand, Bella. I have no fucking clue what to say to my dad either. I wonder if our moms knew about it too?"  
"I don't think my mom did. She is more of an open book than me. I don't think she could tell a lie if her life depended on it," I said to him.  
"My mom could have known. She always stands behind Dad. How do you think your dad will handle seeing the two of us- together?"  
"He will fucking go ballistic. I don't care if he does either. I want  you , Edward. I want us. If Charlie can't accept that, can't accept me the way that I am, I'm better off without him in my life. I have chosen my life and I want to live it. Emily wasn't given the chance to live the life that she wanted. I'll be damned if I let someone dictate to me how to live mine."  
"Well, I guess if I'm going to Hell I might as well do it thoroughly," Edward said. He got up off the floor and reached his hand to me.  
"I can't stay here tonight by myself. Can I stay with you again tonight?"  
"Yes, of course you can stay with me as long as you need to."  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
The next day came much sooner than I wanted it. I didn't let go of Edward's hand for even one second while we were on the plane to Washington.  
I had texted Charlie before we left telling him I would not be staying with him. That I was coming with a friend from school that Jacob had invited and that we were staying in La Push since Jacob wanted us as close as possible. Charlie tried to call right after I sent it but I didn't pick up. He would get the hint sooner or later. Edward said that he had taken care of getting us a ride to the hotel. Jacob was going to pick us up for the funeral since he didn't want to go with just his dad.  
Edward said that Jacob was actually worried that Billy could back out at the last second and not go. Jake wasn't sure if Billy would be able to face it. Emily's damn parents didn't even invite Jake to ride with them even though Em had been closer to Jake than she had ever been to them. They had their pastor call me and ask if I would say a little about her and read a poem. At least they didn't tell me what to say or do. It didn't take me long to find the perfect poem to share. Jake declined. He didn't want to share his Emily with everyone. He was going to keep her just his. I couldn't blame him for that at all.  
Once the plane landed, we grabbed our carry-on bags and walked with our hands linked together to the arrivals terminal. I couldn't believe my eyes when Jasper walked through the door. It was immediately clear he was surprised too. Jasper looked from Edward to me to our handholding to me to Edward again.  
"You didn't tell him?" I whispered to Edward as we neared Jasper.  
"No, I told him I was coming with a friend. I didn't want to get into everything on the phone. I think this," he looked down at our entwined fingers and squeezed my hand gently, "speaks for itself, don't you?"  
"Probably. He didn't bring Alice did he?" I didn't know how Alice felt about me. All I knew is that she had totally written me out of her life after what happened to Edward. Facing her was something I wasn't sure I was ready to do either.  
"No, I specifically asked him not to. She doesn't mean to tell everything, but once Alice gets started, there is absolutely no stopping her. It's a good thing she isn't in charge of our government's secrets or there would be absolutely no secrets."  
"Yes, I remember." I noticed Jasper's shock never left his face as we finally were at his side.  
"Hey, Jaz, it's good to see you," Edward said.  
"Uh, yeah, you too, both of you," Jasper said.  
"Hi, Jasper." I really didn't know how to respond to him. It was a little awkward after all the shit that went down at the beginning of the year. Edward looked at both of us and just shook his head.  
"Jaz, Bella and I are both going to the University of Oklahoma. We ran into each other a few months ago. It's her best friend, Emily, who passed away in the car accident," Edward told him.  
"Bella, I am so sorry about your friend," Jasper told me.  
"Thanks, she was a very special person that I will miss very, very much. I'm just glad that I have Edward in my life to help me through this." I stood on my tip toes and kissed Edward on his lips softly. That should answer Jasper's question before he ever asked it.  
"Wow, just wow," Jasper whispered.  
"Jasper, I know what you are thinking. Bella and I are two totally different people now."  
"Do your parents know about this yet?"  
"No," Bella told him. "I'm guessing the shit is going to hit the fan tomorrow. I've got a few things that I have to say to Charlie myself."  
"Damn," Jasper muttered. "You told her about the restraining orders, huh?"  
"Bella and I keep absolutely nothing from each other, no matter how much it may hurt to hear. Without honesty and communication, there is no way that any relationship will be healthy. We are trying to do it right this time by building a solid foundation," Edward said.  
"Jasper, this is obviously something that Edward and I have talked in great depth about. We are in this for the long haul and we know where  we  stand and how  we  feel. Honestly, as far as I'm concerned, it's no one else's business. We have matured from the fucked up people we once were. It may be hard for some people to believe. We have both forgiven each other for our past behavior, even though neither of us will ever forget it. In the end, it is no one's decision but  mine  and  Edward's  whether or not we will be together. It is our lives and we will live them for ourselves not how others want us to live them."  
"Wow, the fireworks are going to be visible from outer space when both of your parents find out," Jasper said. "Are you both ready to deal with the fallout?"  
"More than ready," I told him and we followed Jasper to his car.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
After Edward and I checked into our rooms, I called my mom to check in. She mentioned Charlie and I just told her that I was too busy dealing with things and barely had the time to do anything right now. I didn't know what else to say to her. They wanted to stay in Seattle for the night and her and Phil would drive to La Push to make it to the service.  
The only other person that I talked to was Jake. He sounded so distant. A part of him died when Emily did. I just prayed that some day that he would find a way to be happy again.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
EPOV  
We arrived at the cemetery literally minutes before the service was supposed to start. Jacob and I helped Billy out of the car. While Jacob and Bella began to walk to our seats, I maneuvered Billy's chair through the rough terrain.  
There were only three seats remaining on the front row. Thankfully someone had saved them on an aisle. Jacob sat down on the end and I wheeled Billy next to him. Billy patted me on the hand.  
"Thanks for helping with everything," Billy whispered to me.  
I nodded and took my place next to Bella. Jake held one of her hands. I looked over to her and brushed a lock of hair from her face. She smiled slightly and took my hand in her free one. I suddenly could feel the eyes on me. I looked over to see Charlie Swan shooting daggers my direction. The woman next to him also glared at me. I was pretty sure that was Bella's mom. If looks could kill, I would have been a dead man right now. Charlie began to move our way as the minister stepped up and prepared to begin the services. The woman put her hand on his arm and Charlie stopped. He reached into his pocket and it looked like he was doing something on his phone as the minister began the services.  
"Good afternoon, I am Reverend Webber. It is with heavy hearts that we come today to remember Emily Young, beloved daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Young. I had the pleasure of having known Emily her entire life. I christened her in my church. She was always energetic and full of life. How do we begin to say goodbye to someone so young, someone who was taken away by such a tragedy?" Bella clinched her fingers tighter with mine. I reached over with my other hand and rubbed her arm soothingly.  
Reverend Webber continued, "I sat down and spoke with Emily's parents yesterday. We remembered the day that she was brought into this world. Her parents had never been more thrilled than to welcome their precious daughter into their hearts. I, like many of you, also welcomed her into my heart. She came into our lives and changed all of us for the better. Emily taught everyone how important it was to love your fellow man. Emily believed in honesty, never hiding how she really felt. She loved expressing those opinions with the written word in her journalistic pursuits. Emily taught us about life and how to live that life to its fullest."  
It was ironic that he was speaking almost the exact words that Bella had said to me in Emily's room- about living life to its fullest. Bella and I looked at each other. This definitely wasn't a coincidence. Bella had wanted Emily to meet me and to accept me into her heart. I could tell by the look on Bella's face that she felt the same as me.  This  was a sign. Emily was sending us her understanding, her blessing, her acceptance, her love.  
"If someone was having a bad day, Emily always found a way to lift them up," Reverend Webber said. "She had such a thirst for life that it was contagious for all of us who were around Emily. Emily had a constant craving for knowledge and for sharing what she learned with those around her, especially her friends and family. Friends and family were always held near and dear to Emily. Her dear friend Bella Swan would like to say a few things about her."  
Bella got up and didn't let go of my hand until it was no longer within her reach. She was never one who liked to be the center of attention. I knew that this was even more difficult for her because her father and mother were here and the atmosphere was feeling more tense by the minute. She bit her lip nervously and began to speak.  
"Emily was my best friend. One look from her could always brighten up my day. She always accepted me so quickly and lovingly. I loved that she never judged someone without forming her own opinion first. It never failed that she found the good in  everyone  that crossed her path. She believed that all of us have good in us that we just have to search within ourselves to find it. I know that Emily helped me find myself and the person that I was meant to be. She was the best friend I've ever had, that anyone could ever have. I will miss her every moment of every day. One thing that I know about Emily is that she would want us to find a way out of our sadness. She would want us to remember all of those special moments that we shared with her and smile." Bella looked over and nodded at me remember the words that I shared with her yesterday.  
"She wouldn't want us to dwell on the unjustness of her life being cut so short. Emily would want us to help her live on- in our minds, hearts and souls. This poem paints a clear picture of what I think Emily would want from all of us.  
Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on the snow.  
I am sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn's rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
I am not there I did not die.  
She is here." Bella pointed to her heart. "She will always be a part of all of us who loved her and were so blessed to have her in our lives." Bella wiped at her tears and sat back down between Jacob and I. He reached over and hugged her tightly and she reached back to grab my hand.  
"Please bow your heads and pray with me," Reverend Webber said. "Heavenly father, we come to you today to remember our daughter and friend, Emily Young. The Lord is my Shepherd; I Shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen." In the back of my mind I could hear the crunching of gravel and I thought to myself, someone is really late for the services.  
"Amen," I said with the others in attendance.  
"The Emily's friends and family would like to thank you for coming. You are all invited to our church for a luncheon where we will continue to celebrate the bright life of Emily Young."  
Bella and I got up and went with Jake to Emily's parents. They accepted our condolences and we headed back to Billy. We stopped in our tracks when we saw not only Bella's parents next to Billy, but my mom and dad were there as well. That was what Charlie was doing on his phone while the funeral was starting. I looked at our parents and while our mom's both had mirrored looks of fear, the looks of anger on our fathers' faces it what stood out most. Charlie's face went from red to purple to blue. His hands were clinched at his sides. I think the only thing keeping him from coming after me was Reneé's hand on his arm. Thankfully most of the mourners had left or were nearing their cars when Charlie spoke up.  
"Bella, what in the Hell are you doing here...with him!" Charlie shouted.  
Before she had a chance to respond, my father decided it was his fucking turn to chime in. "Edward, really, Bella Swan. She almost killed you and you are with her again." A few of the stragglers who were still walking to their cars turned at looked after hearing the commotion turned and looked to see what was going on.  
"Dad, this is not the time or place to have this discussion. If' you'd like, we'll have Jake drop us off at your house so we can discuss this matter privately," I told him calmly and motioned towards the spectators.  
"I don't think so," Charlie growled. "I demand to know what is going on here. I want to know right now, damn it!"  
"You demand, huh?" Bella spoke up. "Not surprising that you are trying to take control of all the people around you. It's something that you like to do  isn't it ? You like to be the decision-maker, right?"  
"Bella, you watch how you speak to your father," her mother said. "Show some respect."  
"Not surprising that she is being disrespectful. She did shoot  my  son," my mom said.  
"With a gun that your damn son brought over to her house," Reneé almost shouted.  
"Enough!" Bella screamed. "This day was not about you. I can't believe you are making a scene like this in front of Jake and Billy. Do you not even care why we all are here to begin with today? Someone died. Someone that I loved dearly. Someone Jake loved dearly." She pointed to Jake who was standing beside his dad watching our families begin what very easily could become World War III at any moment. "Look over there, my best friend, the love of Jake's life, is gone forever, because of a careless mistake someone made."  
"Sounds kind of familiar. You did almost put our son in the same place a few months back," Dad told her in a harsh tone.  
"Dad, there is absolutely no need to talk to her like that," I said.  
"Edward, how can you stand there and defend that...that..."  
"Mom, don't say a word to her," I ordered.  
"As much as I would love to stand here and be disparaged by you," Bella pointed to my parents, "and for you to disparage him," Bella pointed to me, "I would just love to know who's absolutely brilliant idea it was to lie to me and Edward that we had put restraining orders on each other."  
Both of our fathers blanched at her words and our moms were honestly shocked by what she said.  
"They were real," Charlie said.  
"Oh, Daddy Dearest," Bella said sarcastically. "Do you really want to continue this charade? I know that they weren't real. Emily and I did some research and there were never any restraining orders issued. Edward never filed one against me nor I him."  
Charlie cleared his throat. "Bella, something had to be done. You were both so toxic together. We had to do something, anything, to get you away from each other so you had a chance at a normal life. You deserve that, a chance to be happy without someone hurting you with words or with their fists." Charlie shot me the evil eye with his last comment.  
"If things between Edward and I were messed up before, why didn't  any  of you try to talk to us about it," Bella said.  
"Bella, we did try..." Reneé started before she was interrupted by Bella.  
"Did you, Mom? Because I don't remember ever having a conversation with you all the years that we had been dating that you thought Edward and I had  any  kind of problems. All I ever heard about was all the things that you and Phil were doing."  
"Bella, that is just not true," Reneé said.  
"As much as I know all of you hate to hear it, you didn't say one fucking word," Bella's voice was eerily quiet.  
"You," she pointed to each of our parents, "just ignored everything that we both did when you could have maybe, just maybe, opened our eyes to how fucked up we were back then, but no. Parents are supposed to protect their children. I understand that, but to totally ignore how we were for years and years and not say one word,  one single solitary word . Where the hell were you, our parents when we really needed you? You decided to wait to do something when things escalated to the point of Edward and I physically hurting each other. Where the fuck was the communication? There is this saying 'lying is done with words and also with silence.' If you had said something,  anything , we may not have ended up on the path that ended up nearly destroying us both. So you, our parents, and honestly after the lack of parental guidance you gave us when we needed it most, I am honestly not sure if you deserve the title, decided to take matters into your own hands and lie to us, lie to everyone. 'Bella, Edward put a restraining order on you. He doesn't want to see you ever again.' 'Edward, Bella doesn't want you, ever. You can't contact her because a restraining order has been issued against you.' He almost died!" Bella said as she pointed to me. My mom and dad both flinched at her tone.  
"We all could have lost him forever because of a God damn lie! I'm sorry, Charlie. I don't think I can ever, ever forgive you for this."  
"I did what I had to do to get you away from him," Charlie yelled. "I will do it now too." Charlie grabbed Bella's arm and she tried to get away from him. My well-controlled anger was on the verge of spilling over.  
"Dad, Charlie, you're hurting me. Let go," Bella demanded through her gritted teeth.  
"Charlie," Reneé pleaded, but Charlie refused to release his grip on her arm. I wasn't going to stand by and watch Bella be hurt by  anyone .  
"Charlie, take your hands off her now," I told him.  
"You, you don't tell me what to do with my daughter."  
I walked closer to them and Charlie finally released her. I knew he would because  I  was always the one that he really wanted to hurt.  
"Cullen, you are no good and worthless. You put your  hands  on my daughter and hurt her. You stay away from my daughter," Charlie commanded me.  
"Dad, you no longer have a say in what I do. Edward and I have changed. We aren't the same people that we were. We are going to be together and there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop us," Bella told him as calmly as she could.  
With my focus on Bella, I had lost my view of Charlie and he surprised me by grabbing me by the shirt. He threw his arm back and clinched his fist. His hand narrowed in on my face and before it could connect Bella stepped between us and Charlie's fist collided with Bella's face and she fell to the ground.  
You could have heard a pin drop when I bent to the ground and helped her up. I gently cradled her head with my hands and inspected the injury that her own father's hands had caused her.  
"Baby, are you OK?" I asked her. She nodded and I put myself between her and Charlie.  
"You say that I'm a worthless for ever putting my hands on Bella. You just punched your own daughter that you said you were trying to protect. What does that make you?" I asked Charlie.


	26. Chapter 24

EPOV  
Charlie's face had paled after he hit Bella. But with my words, his face reddened and I prepared myself for what was to come.  
"This is all your fault, Cullen," Charlie shouted at me.  
"This," Bella pointed to her now swollen cheek and eye as she moved to stand beside me. "This was all you, Charlie."  
"Bella, you will show me some respect. I am your father," Charlie told her.  
"Right, well, today definitely earns you a nomination as father of the year, Daddy." Bella squeezed my hand and looked up at me. "I'm ready to leave now, Edward."  
"You are not going anywhere with him young lady," Charlie screamed and moved towards Bella again.  
"Enough!" Billy's raised voice surprised us all as he turned his chair to face his best friend. "Charlie, look at where we are at. My son just watched the love of his life be buried and look at how you are acting."  
"Billy, he has absolutely no right to be here- at all!" Charlie said.  
"Actually, Charlie, Edward has more right to be here than you do. My son invited Edward to be here. He is Jacob's friend and Jacob wants him here. Bella wants him here. I want him here." With each word out of Billy's mouth Charlie looked as though he had been hit.  
Charlie looked at Jacob and Billy who had both moved closer to Bella and I.  
"Bella, you said you are ready to go." Bella nodded to Billy at his words and he looked at me."Edward, can you please help me to the car?"  
Jacob wrapped his arm around Bella's waist as I moved behind Billy and began pushing his chair.  
"This isn't over, Cullen," Charlie said.  
"Oh, it is most definitely over, Charlie." Bella's words were ice cold to her father. I saw Jacob rub his hand over her back to comfort her.  
After a lot of maneuvering, I was able to get the chair to the car and Jacob and I helped Billy inside. As I moved to put the chair in the trunk, I felt his presence before he uttered a word to me.  
"This has to end, Edward. You and Bella cause nothing but pain for each other. You will stop seeing her now," Carlisle told me.  
"The only people that I see around here causing people undo pain are you and Charlie Swan. Bella and I are together. Nothing you or anyone says or does will keep us apart again," I told him.  
"Listen, Edward," my dad said as he reached for me.  
"No, Dad, you listen. This is not the time or place for this. You all may not be happy with the decision that Bella and I have made to be together again but you are not us. We are living our lives the way we see fit. We are living our lives in a way that truly makes us happy. I think that Bella and I have had enough interference from our families to last a lifetime," I said.  
"Edward, you do not want to do this, Son," Dad said harshly.  
"It's done, Dad. Nothing you can do or say can ever tear us apart." I moved passed him and slid next to Bella in the backseat of Jacob's car. I pulled her close to me and she rested the uninjured side of her face against my shoulder.  
I turned my head and looked back at our parents as we drove away. It looked like time did not heal all wounds. Our dads already had their heads buried together. At least our mothers looked somewhat ashamed of what had just transpired.  
"Well, that so was not how I pictured today turning out," Bella murmured against me.  
I kissed the top of her head and moved her hair out of her face to look at it more closely.  
"Damn, Baby, that has got to hurt," I told her.  
"It definitely doesn't feel great, E."  
"Bella, are you and Edward up to going to the wake with us?" Jacob asked.  
"Jacob, as much as I would love to be there with you, I think I have had as much excitement as I can take today," she told him. "I think that this would bring too many questions and too much unwanted attention," Bella said as she motioned to her face.  
"I understand. I really don't think that I am up for all of those people either," Jacob told us.  
"How about if you drop us off at our hotel for now, Jake? We need to get some ice on Bella's face before it gets any worse. You can feel free to come by and join us for some dinner later if you are up to it," I said.  
"That sounds great, Edward. Thanks."  
CHARLIE POV  
"How in the hell did this happen," Carlisle yelled at me.  
"I have no idea. As far as I knew, Edward and Bella hadn't seen each other since January," I told him.  
"So it's true then," Esme spoke up. "You two made up the story about the restraining orders?"  
"We had to do something, anything. She almost killed our boy, Esme. I couldn't stand by and do nothing. The next time we could have been standing over our son in the morgue because of her stupidity," Carlisle said.  
"Edward was not the one who was being hurt time after time by Bella physically," I said through gritted teeth. "Renée, you've been awfully quiet over there. Don't you have anything to say about this damn mess of a relationship that our daughter seems to have found herself in again?" I waited what seemed like forever for her response. Renée was never one who would stand up and say what she was thinking unless she was prodded for it.  
"I'm as surprised as the rest of you that she is seeing Edward. She told me that she met someone at OU that she had started seeing and that they hit it off well. She seemed so happy when she was talking to me on the phone. I can't believe she would make up a story about where they met," she told me.  
"Where did you say Bella is going to school?" Esme asked.  
"OU, the University of Oklahoma. They offered her a variety of options in journalism-related fields and she had to move halfway across the country to do it," Renée said.  
"She isn't lying about where they met up again then. Edward is going to OU and working towards a degree in physical therapy," Esme shared.  
"They must have been plotting and planning this whole time to find a way to be together. I can't believe that we didn't know about this sooner. Together they are toxic. We can't allow them to continue to be together," I said.  
"While I don't agree how you went around it, Charlie, I don't want to see Bella hurt again anymore than you do. When you told me about what she did when she caught Edward cheating on her," Renée shook her head. "I don't want to lose her and I will do anything to keep her safe."  
I looked at Carlisle and Esme looking for their support in this.  
"I agree with you and Renée. We have to keep them apart. Edward does not need Bella in his life. He was just turning his life around. I don't want to see him be sucked into that black hole of lifelessness again," Carlisle said. He looked at his wife. Esme looked extremely emotional.  
"I just can't," Esme said. "I can't support this conspiring and plotting against our own flesh and blood. Did anyone actually listen when Bella was talking?"  
"She isn't thinking clearly. Edward has always caused her not see things as she should," I told her.  
"Listen to yourselves," Esme said. "How many times did we hear them fight and say nothing to them? How many times did we notice the odd bruises on Bella and say nothing? How many times did we let them get so into each other that they didn't know how to exist without the other? Carlisle, we watched our son spiral down into such a deep pit of depression that he started taking drugs so he could forget Bella. Edward told us that he needed her and you lied to him that she didn't want a thing to do with him. Carlisle, you might as well have poured a bottle of those pain pills down his throat by the pain that you caused Edward by telling him that Bella did not love him and wanted nothing to do with him. We, as parents, messed up along the way. Bella and Edward seem to see it and I am obviously the only one who saw this but those were not the same kids that we saw in January. While Edward and Bella being together may not be what we want for them, it is what they want. They are legally adults. It is their right to be together if that is what they want, if it makes them happy, if it isn't causing them harm. The only one that I saw that caused anyone harm here today was you, Charlie."  
"It was an accident!" I shouted. "I would never hurt Bella on purpose. Are you with us or not, Esme?" I asked her. Protecting my child from Cullen and the violent rages I knew he could have were more important to me than anything else.  
"I am with our kids and their happiness. What you three are planning will only hurt them and they do deserve to live their own lives without interference from us," Esme said as she walked towards their car.  
"I'll talk to her, Swan. Edward and Bella together is no good for anyone. I will make her see that," Carlisle told me. I reached out to shake his hand.  
"Thanks, Cullen," I said.  
"Thank you for letting me know about this situation. We will end this. I have no doubt," Carlisle told me.  
He walked to meet his wife at their car and I turned to look at Renée and we began to leave.  
"So, any ideas on how to make this thing happen, Renée?" I asked and she nodded at me while she picked up her cell phone.  
"Yes, Charlie, if she won't cut her ties off from Cullen, I know exactly what needs to be done," she said.  
BPOV  
My eye and face was still throbbing from where Charlie hit me. Even with the ice that Edward had insisted that I use to reduce the swelling didn't do much. My eye was almost swollen shut.  
We were curled together on the bed trying to relax after the confrontation that we had at the cemetery with our parents. I still can't believe that they had the nerve to do that when I was saying goodbye to my best friend forever.  
Edward must have felt my tension increase. He shifted and wrapped his arms tighter around me and gently touched my face.  
"Are you in a lot of pain, Baby?"  
"Not a lot, no. I was just thinking," I told him.  
"Thinking about what?"  
"Today, everything. I just can't believe them." Edward kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly.  
"We just surprised them. We knew this was going to be difficult."  
"I know, Edward. Is it really that difficult for them to see that they don't have anything to do with our relationship?"  
"B, I don't think parents could ever stop trying to protect their children. Ours just have a shitty way of showing it," Edward said as his finger ghosted over the swelling on my face. He kissed my forehead as my cell began to ring.  
"Hi, Mom," I said hesitantly.  
"Bella, I'd really like to see you," she told me.  
"Mom, it has been a very long and an extremely emotional day. Can't this wait until tomorrow?" I almost begged. I didn't want to deal with anymore family drama and with Renée's few words I heard the drama that was destined to fall from her lips soon.  
"Phil and I are heading back to Arizona in the morning. I wouldn't do this now if it wasn't important. It won't take long, Baby. Can I stop by your hotel to see you?" I rolled my eyes.  
"Are you coming alone?" I asked with bitterness in my tone. "I am not in the mood to see Charlie right now."  
"Yes, Bella, it's just me coming. I can be there in five minutes," my mom said.  
"Okay, see you soon," I said as I got up out of the bed. Edward propped himself up against the headboard.  
"So I guess we are getting ready to have a visitor, huh?" Edward said as he ruffled his hands through his bronze hair. My girlie bits squealed just a little bit seeing that sex hair take form atop his head. Those girlie bits wanted to be included in the sex with Edward factor very badly at that moment.  
"Yes," I said as I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my hair. I saw Edward come behind me in the mirror and he wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back into his body.  
"Are you ready to talk to her, Bella?" He said as he made contact with my eyes in our reflected images in the mirror. I covered his hands with mine and nodded.  
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I smirked at him. I turned to him and smiled. "How do I look?" I pointed to my damaged face.  
"Bella, you look beautiful, always beautiful." He leaned down and his lips met mine and I sighed into his mouth as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. I gently bit his lower lip and our kiss slowly intensified as our tongues began to stroke in and out of each other's mouths languidly. With each stroke of his tongue against mine, the stress of the day began to slowly melt away and honestly all I could think of was that I wanted more parts of Edward stroking more parts of mine. Edward started slowing the kiss down more until he was barely touching his lips to mine. His forehead leaned against mine and his hands squeezed lightly at my hips.  
"Thanks, Baby. I needed that," I told him as he took his turn to smirk at me.  
"You're definitely not the only one," he said as there was a knock at the door.  
"It's show time," I said as I went to open the door for my mother.  
"Oh, Bella," my mom said as she reached for my face and I moved out of her reach. "How badly does it hurt?"  
"Well, I can barely see out of my eye at all mom, so I am just peachy," I told her. Edward came up behind me and whispered to me.  
"Baby, try to play nice. She is your mother." He looked up to my mom and said in his normal voice, "Hello Mrs. Dwyer. How are you?" My mom didn't say a word to him as he went to grab his wallet off of the dresser.  
"I'm going to run to the diner across the street and pick up some dinner, B. Anything in particular you want?" He asked.  
"Surprise me," I told him with a smile as I reached up to kiss him on the cheek as he headed to the door.  
"Sure thing, Baby. Mrs. Dwyer, will you be joining us for dinner," Edward asked.  
"No, no I won't," Mom told him emphatically.  
He closed the door behind him and I took a deep breath.  
"So, what did you want to talk about, Mom." I sat down on the foot of the bed.  
"Bella, how long has this thing with Edward been going on?" She asked as she sat down in the chair across from me.  
"Mom, we ran into each other one day at school a few months ago. We were totally surprised to see each other."  
"Oh, I bet he was surprised to see you," she murmured.  
"Mom, Edward and I have not just started where we left off. I will be the first to admit that he treated me like shit when we were together before. He was an asshole and when I first saw him I knew that I didn't want a person like that in my life ever again."  
"Then explain to me exactly how it is that he is in your life, Bella. I need to understand this."  
"I didn't want anything to do with him at first. He has more than proved to me that he isn't the same person that he was."  
"Bella, people like Edward, they don't just change overnight."  
"Mom, I had the same thoughts, but trust me. I know what I'm doing. He is different. It is possible for a person to change."  
"He's just pretending to be what you want him to be so he can suck you into his life again, Baby. I don't want to see you hurt ever again and this thing with Edward is destined to end badly."  
"Mom, think about what happened today. The Edward that hurt me, who almost thrived on hurting all of those around him, wouldn't have been able to hold back if he saw a punch coming his way. He just stood there, Mom. He just stood there with Charlie's fist flying at his face and he did nothing. He did absolutely nothing," I said adamantly.  
"Bella, you will just never see him clearly at all. Please stop this before you get hurt or worse," she pleaded with me.  
I reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Mom, he isn't going to hurt me. I know that for an absolute fact."  
"I just can't sit back and watch you be destroyed by this boy. You almost killed yourself over him." Those words were like cold water being poured over my body.  
"I am fine now, Mom. Like I told you earlier today, Edward and I were both messed up. I am not denying that at all. We have changed. I am happy. He makes me happier than I could ever imagine."  
"I can't support you if you are going to be with him. I just can't," she told me. "If you won't stop seeing him, you leave me no choice."  
"What do you mean, Mom?"  
"All of those bills that you have been using my credit cards for every month for your household expenses, school, everything else, your father and I both will not help you financially while you are with that boy." I couldn't say that I was surprised that my parents would stoop to an all-time low.  
"So, basically, you are telling me to choose- between being able to stay in school and staying with Edward?"  
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Bella."  
"Well, the answer is simple then. It's Edward. It's always been Edward. It always will be him." I got up and went to my purse and removed the credit cards that she had given me at graduation. "Here, Mom. Take them." She put the cards in her purse and headed towards the door.  
"It doesn't have to be this way, Mom. Edward is a good person. I wish you could see that like I do."  
"Bella, I love you too much to stand by and watch you destroy yourself." Mom said as she shut the door and walked out of the room and by the way her words sounded to my ears- out of my life.


	27. Chapter 25

BPOV  
As the door closed to the hotel, I sat back down on the bed in shock. I couldn't believe that my mom, who always supported me through thick and thin, had just cut me off.  
I wasn't sure how long I sat staring at the door when Edward returned with our dinner. He noticed the expression on my face, put the food on the table across from me and took me in his arms.  
"Baby, are you okay? What happened?" He asked me with concern flowing through his tone.  
"Well, Mom said that if I wouldn't stop seeing you that she was going to cut me off financially. I gave her the credit cards that she gave me to pay for my bills and she walked out the door."  
"I can't believe that she would do that to you, Bella."  
"I really can't either. With the finality of her words it was almost like she was totally through with me too."  
"You're her daughter, B. She would never cut you out of her life completely," he said trying to reassure me.  
"You didn't see her face as she walked out the door," I burrowed into his chest and he rubbed calming circles on my back.  
"I'm so sorry, Baby," Edward said as he kissed my head. "I can help you out if you need it."  
"Edward, I can't take your money. It's not right."  
"If it makes you feel better, you can call it a loan and pay me back when you get the money," he said.  
"I really appreciate the offer. Honestly, I do, but this is something that I need to do on my own."  
"The offer stands if you change your mind," Edward told me. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  
"Thank you. I'm starving. Let's eat."  
Esme POV  
"Esme, you have to see that Edward and Bella do not need to be together," Carlisle told me as we walked into our house. I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over. It was like he was a broken record that kept playing the same thing over and over and I was fed up.  
"Carlisle, enough," I told him. "If Bella and Edward want to date each other, who are we to stand in their way. They are adults. They are going to school together. Both of them actually looked happy together."  
"Happy," my husband snorted. "No way the two of them can find happiness together. They will end up destroying each other. You mark my words, Esme."  
He went into his office and shut the door as I rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. I saw Alice and Jasper sitting at the island. Alice looked shocked and I had a feeling from Jasper's expression that he knew what was going on.  
"Mom," Alice asked me. "Is it true? Edward and Bella are together again?" I nodded.  
"Yes, we saw them together today at Emily Young's funeral."  
"How did this happen, Mom? Are they okay?"  
"I'm not quite sure on all the details, but I guess they both ended up attending the University of Oklahoma and they ran into each other."  
"Wow," Alice said in a soft and stunned voice. She looked over at Jasper. "You knew, didn't you?"  
"Yes," Jasper said. "I found out yesterday afternoon. Edward had asked me to pick him and a a friend up in Seattle because his friend's roommate died. I was shocked that Bella was that friend when I saw them."  
"Why didn't you tell me, Jaz?"  
"Ally, I'm sorry. It wasn't mine to tell you," Jasper told her. He reached his hand out to touch her cheek and she flinched away from him and she held her hand out. "Alice, I..."  
"Jasper, I don't want to hear it right now." She headed to the stairs.  
"Alice," Jasper said in a raised tone. I walked over to him and put my hand on his arm.  
"Jasper, just give her some time. Everything will be okay," I told him.  
"I hope so Mrs. Cullen," he told me. "I'm going to head out now. Is everything really okay with Edward and Bella?"  
"Jasper, I think they are fine, but everyone else... Well, let's just say there are a lot of people unhappy that they are together again."  
"Are you one of them?" Jasper asked.  
"They are both adults, Jasper. If my son is happy, I'm happy for him," I told him.  
"Just the political answer, Mrs. C.," he said as he left the house.  
I was surprised that Carlisle hadn't been out and trying to push the "keep Edward and Bella apart agenda" on me. I had never heard him leave his office and I heard his voice before I opened the door.  
"I will get her to sign off on the changes to the trust no problem. How long will it take you to get them drawn up?" Carlisle asked the person on the phone. "As soon as Esme signs these papers we can stop the trust payments that are being sent to him as his allowance. Thanks. You've been very helpful Mr. Jenks."  
I threw open the door and stormed into the room. "Carlisle Cullen, what in the hell do you think you are doing?"  
"Esme, I got off the phone with Charlie. Renée cut Bella off totally. We need to do the same thing to Edward if they won't stop seeing each other. This is the only solution to help make them see sense. There is no way that they could be responsible enough to take care of themselves. The fact that they are together again has more than shown that they are incapable of making good life choices. This is the perfect solution. The papers will be here for you to sign tomorrow for us to have Edward's allowance revoked."  
"How dare you make that decision without me!" I shouted at him. "That trust is from my mother. I'm the trustee that talks to the lawyer not you. Talking about not making good choices you are not making one right now. I will not sign those papers. This thing with Edward and Bella is between Edward and Bella, not us. Open your damn eyes and look at the big picture here, Carlisle. They are two adults in a relationship together."  
"They are not adults and they do not need to be together. We messed up the first time they were together. Let's put a stop to this now before anyone gets hurt," Carlisle said.  
"I am not going to stop anything other than you meddling where you don't belong. I will be calling Mr. Jenks back and telling him that we do not need those papers drawn up." I reached on the desk for the phone and Carlisle slammed his hand on top of mine as I tried to pick it up. He grabbed my wrist and forced me around so I was facing him.  
"You will not be calling the lawyers. We have got to put an end to this now," Carlisle said fiercely.  
I jerked my hand out of his hold and I slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever put your hands on me like that, Carlisle Cullen! How dare you talk to me this way and treat me like this? I am your wife, your partner. Right now you are not listening to a word that I have to say and I am fed up to here." I motioned my hand at my eyebrows.  
"Esme.." He said as he walked towards me and I started to step back away from him. I held up my hand to him to stop him.  
"Carlisle, I want you out of the house tonight. I will not put up with someone who won't respect me in my own house," I told him.  
"You have got to be joking me, Esme?" Carlisle asked.  
"No, I am not kidding you. I want you out tonight."  
"I'm not going anywhere. This is my home, Esme."  
"I am your home and right now the level of disrespect that you are showing me is so far out of line I can't look at you without being sick. I'm going out for a while and you had best not be here when I get back. . Do you understand me? If you are, I will be calling Mr. Jenks to put some things in action against you."  
I grabbed my purse and my keys and headed out the door with absolutely no clue to where I was headed.  
As soon as I reached the town limits of Forks, I pulled over and grabbed my cell phone out of my purse and dialed.  
"Hello," Edward answered.  
"Hi, Edward. I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm sorry about what happened earlier today. It was totally uncalled for. Even though your dad and Bella's parents don't agree with what you are doing, they most certainly didn't pick the right time and place. Can you please tell Bella that I'm so sorry about that and sorry about her friend?"  
"Sure, Mom. I can do that. Thank you."  
"I also wanted to say how proud I am of you for how you behaved today. The old Edward would have punched Charlie for even thinking about hitting him. It showed how much you have matured and that you have learned to cope with your feelings and emotions in a much healthier way," I told him.  
"Wow, I appreciate that, Mom."  
"Alice overheard your father and I when we got home earlier. She knows you're in town and I really think she would like to see you. She may also want to see Bella." I heard Edward him clear his throat and heard him whisper something. "What was that, Edward?"  
"I was talking to Bella. I'd be glad to come by and see you and Alice tomorrow, but I am not in the mood for another confrontation with Dad."  
"That's not going to be a problem. Son. I caught him trying to pull a stunt today and that's the last straw. I asked him to get out."  
"You did what, Mom?" I could hear the shock in Edward's voice.  
"I'm hoping when I get back home that he's left like I asked him too. I'm not going to stand by and watch him hurt you on purpose just because he is unhappy with who you choose to spend your life with," I told him.  
"Wow, I can't say that I'm surprised that he tried to do something. When Jasper found out and called to tell me about how Dad and Charlie planned out the fake story about the restraining orders, I was hurt by his actions but could see him doing it without blinking an eye."  
"Are you and Bella happy together, Edward?"  
"I have never been happier in my entire life, Mom. She is the most amazing person in the world and I am truly honored and blessed that she has chosen me to be her partner. Every second that I spend with her, I thank God for giving me a second chance at a life that I had so taken for granted." I was so moved by Edward's words that I began to cry. "Mom, are you okay?"  
I sniffled into the receiver. "Yes, Edward, I'm fine. I am just so incredibly proud to be your mother. So how about you meet us at the house for breakfast in the morning?"  
"I would love to but I don't have a car here, Mom."  
"I can pick you and Bella up about 8:30?"  
"Um, Bella really isn't up for that yet, Mom, but that works perfectly for me."  
"If she changes her mind, she is more than welcome to come too," I assured him.  
"Thanks again, Mom, for everything."  
"You're welcome, Edward. I love you."  
"Love you too, Mom."  
BPOV  
When Edward recounted his conversation with Esme, I was happy to hear that she wasn't mad at Edward or at me. She almost seemed happy that we were together. I appreciated her offer that included me for breakfast this morning but it just wasn't the right time for me to have the much needed conversation with Alice.  
After his phone call last night, Edward and I saw and cuddled on the bed watching old movies on AMC. We both laughed so hard at the Cary Grant movie Operation Petticoat that we were in tears with the pink submarine giving us some of the biggest laughs we had shared in a while. We went to bed early cuddled in each other's arms. The alarm startled us both awake at 8:15 leaving him little time to get ready for Esme picking him up.  
Edward had left with Esme to go visit Alice, leaving me to work on my own to work on a budget. All of this semester's school expenses were taken care of and with my full scholarship for tuition and fees I would only have to find money for next semester to cover books, which would not be cheap. I knew that I could ask Jake to help me with expenses on the house utilities and groceries since he and Billy did have money. I just hadn't needed Jake's help with money before since my mom had volunteered to pay for all of that stuff.  
I made enough working for the university newspaper and yearbook to pay for my phone bill as well as a small chunk of the household expenses. I was close enough that I could walk to school, because there was no way that I would have the money to pay for a new car let alone the insurance and gas that I would need with it.  
The knock on the door surprised me because I wasn't expecting anyone. My heartbeat accelerated because I was scared it might be Alice. Once she had her mind set on something, there was no stopping her, just like Emily.  
My heart began to slow as I looked through the peephole and saw it was Jake standing there.  
"Hey, Jake. It's so good to see you," I told him as he engulfed me in a one armed hug.  
"It's good to see you too, Bells," he said as we went and sat down at the table.  
"I was just thinking about you. How are you?" I asked.  
"I'm doing as well as can be expected, I guess. Taking it a moment at a time. I keep asking myself when the pain will lessen because it feels like I have been ripped into a million pieces. I feel like I'm barely holding myself together." I reached over and gripped his big hand in both of mine.  
"I'm sorry, Jake. I wish there was something that I could do to help you, to help make this better for all of us."  
"Everyone says it takes time. I can't tell you how many times I have picked up my phone to call or text Emily to see what she is doing and to tell her that I love her. This is all just so unfair."  
"Life has definitely not been fair to you, Jacob. I hope that God reveals his purpose to you soon."  
"Sure, sure," he told me. I noticed that he had a bag with him that he was trying to obscure from my sight.  
"What is it that you've got there, Jake?" I asked as I pointed to the bag.  
"Oh, well, I went to Emily's parents after I dropped you and Edward off yesterday. While they were off talking to different people I had to get away for a while. When I was in the garage, I noticed that all of Emily's things from Norman were there."  
"The house definitely wasn't the same without her things there," I admitted to him.  
"I thought the same thing as I watched the last box being loaded onto the truck. It just didn't feel right to me anymore." He wiped at his eyes and pulled the bag to his lap. "Anyway, I know that they just threw everything haphazardly when they were packing, but something caught my eyes from one of the boxes and it seemed to call out to me." He reached his hand into the bag and pulled out. My favorite throw pillow from Emily's bed. It was the one that I always cuddled with when she and I had our girl talks. It was an over-sized pillow with forest green, mauve and blue plaid and matching fringe that hung from the edges. I reached out tentatively and ran my hands through the dangling fringe.  
I felt the moisture start to gather in my eyes as he handed the pillow to me. "It's for you, Bella. I know that Emily would want you to have that. She always said that was your pillow any time I tried to use it for anything." He tried to laugh, but his eyes were misting up too.  
I grabbed the pillow and cuddled it to my chest. It still smelled like Emily. God, how I missed her, I told myself.  
"Thank you, Jake. Thank you so much for this." I motioned to the pillows and my hands knocked the papers off that I had been working out the budget on. Jake reached down and picked them up from the floor.  
"What's this, Bella?" Jake asked as he handed the papers back to me. I put the pillow aside as I grabbed the papers and sighed.  
"Renée came by to visit me yesterday. She said if I didn't stop seeing Edward that she would stop paying my expenses. I will not be told how to live my life. I love Edward. I want to be with him and I can't imagine," I stopped myself before I finished the rest of the sentence because Jake actually was having to face the rest of his life without the other part of his heart and soul.  
"I can't believe she would do this to you, B. It is clear to anyone with eyes that you and Edward both love each other very much. They should keep their noses out of your business. What you and Edward do isn't anyone's concern but your own."  
"That's what I tried to tell her, but her and Charlie are just being beyond stubborn about this. They think that he is going to hurt me again, but he isn't. He would never hurt me," I said.  
"I know he wouldn't, Bella. Even my dad realized that yesterday."  
"I'm so sorry about that yesterday, Jake. That shouldn't have happened there."  
"What your parents and Edward's parents did wasn't your fault. How is that eye slugger?"  
"Oh, I'm just peachy keen jelly bean," I told Jake as he smiled back at me.  
He pointed to the papers on the desk. "So, what is your plan now that Renée isn't going to help you pay the bills?"  
"Well, I can pay for almost everything with the salary from the newspaper and yearbook, but it's not enough. I hate to ask, Jake, but can you help pay part of the household expenses and for half of the groceries. With your help, I can make it by, barely, I think, but I can do it."  
I found it odd when he looked away from me.  
"I can always get a loan or something, Jake, if you think that Billy can't help us out."  
"That's not it, Bella." Jake rubbed his hand across his face. "God, I am an animal for doing this to you today after all the other shit you have had to deal with in the last 24 hours."  
"What is it? You can tell me anything, Jake."  
"Bella, I have been doing a lot of thinking since I have been back here. After I watched all of Emily's belongings pull away from the house, I realized that everything has changed. I can't go back there. I just can't. There are too many memories there that I can't face."  
"I understand. We could always get a small apartment somewhere instead that would be just ours," I told Jake.  
"No, that's not what I meant, Bella. I'm going back in a few days to pack all my things. I'm not going to be staying in Norman and going to school at OU anymore. I'm moving back here to Washington for good."


	28. Chapter 26

BPOV  
"You're moving back here, for good?" I asked him as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. He nodded his head, grabbed my hands in his and looked me straight in the eye. I could see his internal struggle in his deep brown eyes.  
"Everywhere I look around there will be nothing but memories of Emily, Bells. It was literally torture for me to stay in our house knowing that she was never going to walk through the door again. I'm in enough pain trying to find a way to cope and I just can't see me making it if I am in Norman."  
"I understand," I told him through my tears. "I just can't imagine being in Norman without both of you."  
"I hate leaving you, Bella. I will miss you so much, but this is something that I have to do. I have no choice. You won't be alone. I've watched how Edward has taken care of you throughout all of this. He's a great guy. He loves you so much. You will never be alone as long as he is in your life. Edward would do anything and everything that you need to make you happy." Jake smiled slightly as he reached over to wipe a tear from my cheek.  
"Edward is incredible. I am so glad that he came into my life again." That was an understatement. There were different forks in life that guided you in your future. I was destined to meet this Edward. I was destined to feel something so powerful for him that it was truly something I'd never felt before. "So, what are you going to do now that you will be in Washington again?"  
"I've contacted the Department of Atmospheric Sciences at the University of Washington. They will give me credit for the parts of the classes I've already completed this semester and allow me to finish the semester at UW," Jake told me.  
"That's great, Jake. I'm glad they were able to work with you."  
"Me too. The dean was really supportive and helpful. I think I can make a go of it here, Bella."  
"I know you can. You are so smart. You can make it anywhere, Jake."  
"Thanks, Bells. Your support really means a lot to me. I'm so sorry to bail on you now that your mother-induced money issues have begun. I'm sure I can help you out for a few months if you really need it."  
"Jake, I will tell you what I told Edward. As much as I appreciate the offer, I am not going to take money from you. It would be different if you were actually living there and helping, but you are going to be half a country away from me."  
"I'm really sorry to add to your problems," Jake said.  
"Jake, you know me. It won't be a problem for long. I will figure everything out. I know that I can do this."  
"I know you can, Bells. You are so much stronger than your parents give you credit for," Jake reassured me.  
"I just wish they would realize that. I am truly capable of taking care of myself. I'm not their little girl anymore. I'm grown-up now."  
"That you are. Where's your man at this morning?"  
"He went to have breakfast with his mom and sister at their house."  
"Wow, Edward is going to be having an interesting morning, huh?"  
"Only time will tell, Jake." He stood up and then he pulled me out of the chair.  
"Since it's just you and me, let me take you out to breakfast," he said. "I'm in the mood for some blueberry pancakes." He knew my weakness for any type of flavored pancake. "The diner down the street has all you can eat pancakes this morning," Jake told me as I almost felt the drool begin to fall down my chin.  
"You had me at blueberry, Jake." I smiled as we left the hotel. I was going to enjoy every minute with Jake before he was half a country away from me permanently.  
EPOV  
The drive to my family home was fairly quiet. Mom didn't have a whole lot to say and I figured it was because it was going to be said in front of Alice anyway, so why talk it to death now. As we pulled into the drive my mom looked over at me.  
"Edward," Mom said.  
"Yes, Mom."  
"I just want you to know that I am not mad with you or Bella about any of this, okay. If you're happy, I'm happy. I am just mad at all the assholes who can't see past their own personal agendas."  
"Mom, language," I said to her jokingly to try to lighten her mood.  
"Well, really Edward, I can't think of a word that is a more apt description than assholes for Charlie, Renée and your own father's behavior."  
As we got out of the car, I saw a blur of motion then had my beloved little pixie's hands wrapped around my neck tightly.  
"Edward," Alice almost screamed in my ear. "I'm so glad you're home even though it is under these sad circumstances. How are you doing? How's Bella? Where is Bella? I thought she was coming too."  
I tucked my finger under her chin and gave her a big sloppy kiss on the forehead.  
"Pixie, slow down and actually take a breath, okay. I think that your face was almost as purple as an eggplant due to the lack of oxygen."  
Before I knew it, she flicked me in the ear and looked up at me with serious eyes.  
"You know that I hate to be called 'Pixie.'"  
"I know that, Alice, but it gets such a rise out of you that I can't resist it."  
"I know, Edward. I love you too," Alice said as we all walked into the house. The smell of bacon, eggs, sausage and waffles filled the air.  
"Mom, you made all of my favorites!" I picked her up and spun her around when I saw the buffet laying on the counter.  
"I wanted to make something substantial since you've probably been eating at that dive of diner next to the hotel due to your lack of transportation since you've been here," Mom told me as Alice and I sat at the kitchen island and Mom fixed our plates.  
As soon as I took the first bite of the buttery waffle covered with my mom's secret maple syrup I moaned. "Oh, Mom, this is absolutely incredible. I have really missed your cooking. It's a shame that Bella couldn't come. Do you think we can fix up a plate for me to take back to her when we are finished?"  
"Of course, Edward," Mom said.  
"Where is Bella, Edward?" Alice asked for the second time. I didn't want to make her sad but I after everything I have been through, the truth was the only option even though I knew she wasn't going to be happy about it.  
"Alice, Bella has been through a lot the last few days. Her very good friend died from a drunk driving accident. She had to cope with her other dear friend dealing with the loss of the love of his life. Yesterday while they were trying to say goodbye to her friend, she was accosted by her parents and our father at the funeral because she and I are dating again and they aren't happy about it. Then last night, her mom comes by and cuts her off financially since she won't stop seeing me. She's not saying never, Alice, just not right now." Disappointment colored her features.  
"I messed up so badly with her, Edward. I need a chance to make things right again. I have to," Alice almost begged me.  
"Sis, you will get the opportunity. I promise you. Just give her some time, okay?"  
"Oh, okay. If I have to wait, I will wait," Alice told me.  
"I didn't have a chance to ask, but how did you and Bella end up together again, Son?" Mom asked me.  
"It definitely hasn't been an easy road to get us where we are now, but it all started one day after class when I entered the student union and came face to face with those chocolate eyes that had haunted me for months." I continued to tell the story about how we ran into each other and how we literally had taken it a step at a time getting to know each other again.  
"Wow, Edward. That's the kind of stuff that a great romance novel is made of," Alice said dreamily.  
"I wouldn't know, Alice, but if you say so," I said as I tenderly hit her arm. I looked over at my mom and her eyes were misting up.  
"Are you okay, Mom?" I asked.  
"I'm great, truly." She said sniffling.  
"If you're so great, why are you crying?" Alice asked.  
"Look at him. Really look at him," Mom told her. Alice looked at me.  
"I don't see anything out of the ordinary. He just looks like Edward to me," Alice said.  
"It's in his eyes and his face when he talks about her. Edward, I have never seen you like this before. You are happier than I have ever seen you. I am seeing something that I wasn't sure I would ever get the opportunity to see. You have matured and you know what real love means. You have had to earn that right this time and I can tell you will never take a moment with Bella for granted. She is everything to you, as she should be, because you love her with everything you are. I am just so happy for you," Mom said as she threw her arms around me and held on like she was trying to find her lifeline.  
I hugged her back just as tightly and kissed the top of her head. "I do love her, Mom. She's just such an incredible woman and I can't believe that she picked me." Mom let go and looked at me.  
"Why wouldn't she pick you, Edward? You are a great catch." We all giggled and sat down to finish our meal.  
After I was more stuffed than an Thanksgiving turkey, Mom sat me down and told me what she had heard Dad trying to do. I wasn't surprised at all by his attempted meddling in my life. I was really proud of how my mom actually stood up to him. It did hurt me that she was hurting but until my dad realized that what he was doing was wrong, Mom said that he had no place under her roof.  
The talk with Mom lasted longer than I thought it would and we reheated some of the breakfast so I could take Bella some of Mom's home-cooking. Bella, an avid cook herself, always loved to try Mom's culinary delights in the past so I knew that she would definitely enjoy some real food instead of the food from the diner.  
When I entered the hotel room, I was surprised to find the lights off and Bella asleep and covered snugly in the bed. She was so beautiful and peaceful that she actually took my breath away. I moved over to the bed and stroked a lock of her hair that had fallen near her mouth. Unconsciously, she moved into my touch and sighed my name.  
I could stay and watch her sleep for hours not just for her peaceful serenity that exuded from her during her sleeping hours, but also for the words that I would hear her speak while she dreamed. If her words were any indication, she dreamed of me as often as I dreamed of her.  
After admiring the love of my life for a few minutes, I decided I had better hit the shower before she woke up since I hadn't had time to take one before Mom arrived to pick me up.  
As I entered the bathroom, I heard Bella fucking moan in her sleep. "Edward, I want you now," she said. I turned to make sure she was actually still asleep and her eyes were firmly shut. I watched as her hand moved from under her pillow below her waist and I hardened instantly as I saw her hand began moving against her core. Her moan that soon followed her movements had me biting my tongue to hold my own moan in. It looked like this might be a cold shower for me instead of the extra hot one that my muscles were screaming for.  
I wanted Bella so badly, but I didn't want our relationship to be as dependent on sex as it was the last time we were together. We used sex as a coping device and that wasn't what I wanted from her now. I wanted to make love with her. Knowing my girl the way I did, I knew that I was going to be fighting against Bella every step of the way. I had seen the way she was looking at me the past few days since our intimacy was interrupted by the earthquake. Bella moaned my name again and I heard her hand moving faster under the blankets. It was time for me to take care of some personal business.  
BPOV  
I woke up from my nap and could hear the shower running in the bathroom. I couldn't believe I had been so out of it that I didn't even hear Edward when he got back. My dream, how I wished it hadn't been a dream, but real. Edward and I on a deserted beach playing chess together. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The sound of the birds chirping nearby. The sun beating down on our swimsuit clad bodies. We were in the perfect paradise and we were alone. He was so fucking beautiful smiling that brilliant smile of his. As I called checkmate, I threw the chess pieces and the board aside and attacked Edward's mouth with mine, tackling him to the blanket that protected us from the coarse sand. Edward's hands had just begun to make my day as my eyes opened.  
I got up from the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom door. It wasn't shut all the way, so I opened it and walked in. I slipped off my clothes and folded them neatly on the counter as I opened the shower curtain climbed in behind Edward's naked glory.  
He hadn't heard me yet so I took a moment to take in his incredible body. As he washed his hair, the muscles flexed in his back and the water dripped down to his fine ass then to his toned thighs. I thought that I might even be dripping now just from the site in front of me. He couldn't be real. He was more angel than man.  
I reached out my hand to grope Edward's absurdly beautiful ass. He jumped and shouted, "What the fuck!" As I giggled and he turned around and his expression went from fear, to shock, to hunger. Oh, every cell in my body knew exactly what he was craving. It was ironic that I would want our first time together again to be in the shower when that was where we had sex for the last time before we were broken up or whatever you call it when your parents take the love of your life away.  
"What are you doing in here, Love?" He asked as I walked close to him and put my arms around his neck and my fingers began to caress the hair at the nape of his neck.  
"I would think that would be obvious, Edward." I stood up on my toes and pressed my lips to his and Edward and I groaned in excitement. As our lips melded together I felt his erection throbbing against my stomach and I moaned. I moved one of my hands from around his neck and gripped Edward's cock in my palm.  
He tore his mouth from mine and threw his head back. "Jesus fucking Christ, Bella. Your hand feels so good." I gripped him firmly and rubbed my finger across the top. Looked like someone was just as excited for this as I was since his pre-cum was now covering my hand. I brought my other hand down and gently massaged his balls as my other hand encircled his penis and I twisted my hand firmly up and down that magnificent cock. As my hands worked their magic, I leaned into his chest and first gently licked both of his nipples then I bit down on them causing him to grow even harder and his breathing quickened as his orgasm came nearer. He grabbed my head and attacked my mouth as my hands continued in a slow, steady and firm motion. He shouted, "Bella," then he exploded with his cum shooting out in five long bursts.  
"Holy fuck, that was incredible, Love." He told me as he kissed my forehead and my hands continued to massage his penis that still hadn't lost much of its hardness yet. He and I had both had too long a dry spell for without and as his cock became even harder than earlier, I began to move it to my center. Just as the head entered my opening it was quickly gone.  
"I don't have a condom, Bella."  
"That's fine, Edward. I've been on the pill forever. You know that." I kissed his neck and he shook his head. I could see the wheels churning behind those eyes and I knew I wasn't going to be happy about what he said next.  
"Bella, we haven't been together again that long yet. I want to court you to really prove to you that you are every woman in the world to me. You are all that I need."  
"Edward, I need you now. I am so turned on right this second I think that I might explode. I will concede that maybe it isn't the right time for us to have full out sex but I am so turned on right now that just thinking about you cumming on me a few minutes ago has me on the cusp of my own orgasm. Please," I reach up and kissed him gently and my hands massaged his ass and his erection continued to bob in front of me. In the past I had been able to cum before just from watching his reaction to a blow job. My hand reached for him again and I began to lower myself to my knees and Edward scooped me up causing me to squeal.  
My sounds were quieted immediately with his insatiable lips as he picked me up and we moved against the back wall of the shower. His hands began to rub my breasts and his fingers fondled my nipples as I felt myself getting more wet for him.  
Edward kissed my nose, cheeks and chin before his lips wondered down the side of my neck and he gently bit down on my shoulder causing me to clinch my thighs together. His lips made their way to my breast as his hand began to move from my waist to my hip. Finally, his hand moved to my core. His thumb began to rub firm circles on my clit as his tongue laved my nipple. Suddenly he bit down on my nipple and my pleasure was multiplied as he thrust two fingers into me at the same time. He moved to the other nipple licking and biting as his fingers moved rhythmically in and out of me.  
"Edward, more, harder." He inserted a third finger into me as he bit hard on my nipple and used his thumbnail to scrape across my clit. In and out his fingers worked me into a frenzy. His fingers got faster and faster. It was all too much when those fingers curved up and reached my g-spot as he bit down on my nipple using his teeth to twist my nipple slightly. Then I was in absolute ecstasy. I screamed out my desire as my orgasm pulsated through my body, ending with my pussy clenching his fingers so that they stayed on that spot. He pulled them out slightly, moved to the other nipple and bit with a twist again as his fingers hit my g-spot again and I would have collapsed onto the floor as the wave of the second orgasm hit had Edward not wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him with a fierce kiss. I felt Edward's own orgasm as his semen hit my stomach. "Dear God, Bella. Your body drives me wild."  
He grabbed the body wash and cleaned us both off quickly. My body was humming with excitement from its release. I have never had an orgasm like that. I had heard that you could cum that fast and that hard, but it was something that I had never thought I would experience.  
"Holy shit, Edward. That was fantastic." I held on to him tightly as he pulled us from the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I could barely stand because my knees had turned to jelly.  
"You were so fucking hot. I'm sorry if I got too carried away," he told me as Edward wrapped a towel around his waist. He grabbed a third towel and began to dry my hair. He put the lid down on the toilet and sat down on it bringing me on his lap. He reached for my brush and began to brush out my hair. I almost purred in contentment from this sweet, simple act.  
"Edward, there is absolutely nothing to be sorry for. That was fan-fucking-tastic. I wouldn't mind a little more of it," I told him as I swiveled my hips against his. I could feel him beginning to stir already. It looked like Edward's body had missed mine as much as I missed him.  
He stopped brushing my hair to stop my hips from moving.  
"Baby, stop, please."  
"Edward, I always want you. I know you say you want to wait, but it's not like it is something we haven't done before. Our bodies are calling to each other constantly. The craving inside of me just won't go away," I said.  
"Bella, like I told you before. I want us to take our time. I don't want to risk anything ruining what we are building right now. I want to go for long walks with you while holding your hand and sharing stories about our day. I want to sit with you out on my deck drinking iced tea and saying nothing, just being."  
I turned myself around so I was facing him. When I tried to straddle my legs around him, Edward placed my legs so they were both draped over the side of his. I gave him my best pout but it didn't work. He put the brush on the counter and stroked my face.  
"I'm just going to say this outright, Baby. I love you. I have always loved you and I always will. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. I want to cherish and protect you for the rest of our days. I want you to feel that love and devotion without sex, because for me it wouldn't just be sex. I would be mating my body and soul with yours forever in a bond that would never be severed or broken. I want us both to be absolutely sure because it will be our last first time ever again."  
"I love you too, Edward, so much." We leaned into each other and my heart skipped a beat as our mouths barely touched but I could feel the powerful bond between us charging throughout my body from that slight touch of our lips. I sighed and leaned my head against his. "So no sex for now?" I asked him.  
"Nope," he said as he grinned almost timidly at me.  
"Well, I would like to negotiate a compromise," I told Edward as I smiled back at him.  
"And what compromise would that be, Love?" Edward questioned as he raised his eyebrows at me.  
"One of our past presidents, William Jefferson Clinton, was very specific in his definition of sex. For him sex meant full intercourse. I think that there isn't a thing wrong in sharing his philosophy on sex and us still having some fun even if we don't go all the way." I stroked my fingers down his chest and headed to the knot of his towel.  
"Bella, you will be the death of me. I swear it." I leaned down and began kissing his chest as I moved around and my legs straddled him with my towel moving up so high it revealed myself to him. I was already wet for him again and I took his hand and moved it to where I wanted it most. I moved up and kissed each side of his lips before slowly slipping my tongue in his mouth and his fingers began to move inside me again. "Fuck it, compromise works for me," Edward moaned into my mouth.  
I came not too much later from the rapture of our shared desires. "I fucking love the way Bill Clinton defines sex," I told Edward. He laughed at me and I helped take care of him one more time before we took a much needed nap.  
That evening I told Edward about Jake coming back to live in Washington permanently. He said that his mom offered to help me out too if I needed it, but I was determined to do this on my own. I hadn't figured out what to do about the house yet, but I was guessing that I was going to have to have a conversation with my alleged parent about it soon.  
When we flew back to Oklahoma the next afternoon, we stopped by the house so I could pick up some clothes. Edward said that I was welcome to stay with him as long as I needed to. In the back of my mind, I wanted to stay with him forever. I just wasn't sure if he was ready for that or not. If I did stay with him, I didn't want to rely on him for everything. I wanted to contribute financially to the household too.  
We had made plans for Edward to come to the house and pick me up after his classes were over since his day was much longer than mine. After my classes finished, I walked back to the house since I hadn't been there in a few days. It had been such a stressful day with the looks from all of my classmates who had been told what happened. I walked into the newspaper and yearbook offices and went to Emily's desk. I grabbed the picture she had on her desk of Jake, Emily and I and put it in my bag. I told our adviser that I would be back to work the next week. She was very understanding and told me to take as much time as I needed. I was going to keep the picture with me while I was with Edward's so I wouldn't totally be without them.  
The mailbox was overflowing, when I finally remembered that I probably should check and see what bills that I was going to have to pay. I was glad that I was able to get Renée's name off of the checking account before she thought about trying to get what money was left in there. As I walked into the door, the silence was deafening. I couldn't stand being in a house that once was so filled with happiness and friends and was now desolate.  
I sat down on the couch and began sorting the mail into three piles, Jake's, Emily's and mine. Once that was done, I started opening the bills. Shit. A $400 electric bill, how in the hell did that happen. I was going to have to find somewhere else to stay permanently. I would not be able to afford this on my own and I definitely didn't want to be looking for new roommates. No one could ever replace Em and Jake.  
I noticed an official looking envelope from my car insurance company and opened it.  
Dear Isabella Swan-  
Your car, a 2011 Aston Martin DBS Volante Convertible, has been deemed as totaled due to the extent of the damage sustained in the accident.  
Since you had full coverage on your vehicle, please find enclosed a check for the value of the Aston Martin at the time of its loss.  
If you have any questions or concerns about this claim, please contact us at the number below.  
We are sorry about the loss of the vehicle. Please contact us once you purchase your new vehicle so it may be added to your policy.  
Thank you for you for being a loyal customer.  
Who cared about the loss of the vehicle, I told myself as I finished the letter. I had lost Emily who was a hell of a lot more important than my car was. I shook my head. Typical insurance companies only cared about the money not the people involved. I shook my head and pulled the check out of the envelop.  
My eyes popped out of my head when I saw the all of the new numbers on the check. I took back every bad thing I just said about the insurance company in my mind as I rubbed my fingers over the amount. $284,479.52.


	29. Chapter 27

EPOV  
Before she left for class this morning, Bella gave me a key just in case she stayed at the newspaper and yearbook offices longer than she planned.  
I offered to drive her to class, but she insisted that she wanted to walk while the weather was still nice enough. I could tell that the weather was going to change soon. I had no idea that my knee was going to predict the weather. I took extra care when I did my exercises because the last thing I needed was to hurt it again.  
As I looked at the clock, I still had two hours before my first class started. I looked at the key for Bella's placed and decided to go and see if there was anything I could do for her there.  
When I opened the door to her place, I remembered the first time I came over here to watch her drool over the Kings of Leon documentary. I shook my head and snickered at the memory of her jaw almost dropping to the floor when she saw one of the band member's bare ass. It seemed liked it was months ago, even though it had merely been days.  
An odor assaulted me as soon as I closed the door behind me. I walked to the kitchen and noticed the almost overflowing trash. The trash was so full the bag wouldn't even close. I found the extra bags under the counter and put the overflow trash in it. I opened the fridge and emptied out all of the food that needed to be trashed. I checked all the bathrooms and then took the trash to the curb. It wasn't much but I at least I felt like I had accomplished something this morning.  
I looked around the house. It was so much bigger than I'd thought it was. I knew there was absolutely no way Bella could live here on her own without the support of her parents. I knew that she had a scholarship to pay for books, tuition and fees, but the utilities on this house had to be insanely high. I wished she would swallow her pride and let me or even my mom help her out so she could stay here.  
I felt a tightness welling up in my chest. At first I couldn't put my finger on the cause. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't want Bella to go anywhere. I loved going to sleep with her and waking up with Bella wrapped in my arms each morning. I loved the smile on her face as she watched me inhale the meals she made me from scratch. I loved that my condo even smelled like her. I loved how when she smiled at me from across the room when she was doing her homework and I was exercising. Bella's smile always made my heart swell in my chest. How did I ever get so lucky to have her? I would never know what I did to deserve her, but I knew one thing with certainty. I wanted Bella with me each and every day for the rest of my life. I had to find a way to make her see that with her staying with me gave me so much more than her helping out financially ever would.  
As my last class drew to a close, I glanced at my watch. Only a few more minutes until I would head over to Bella's to pick her up. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw the lights on in the house. Instead of using the key, I knocked on the door. I got nervous when after a minute she didn't answer the door.  
I twisted the knob and found it unlocked. "Bella?" I asked with worry in my voice. I saw her sitting on the couch staring into space with a look of shock on her space. My heart skipped a beat, and I rushed to her side.  
I stroked my thumb across the apple of her cheek to get her attention. "Bella, are you hurt? What's wrong, Love?"  
She shook her head as if to clear it and handed me a piece of paper. I looked down and blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things.  
"What is this?" I asked. "Is this real? $284,479.52?" She nodded and looked at me.  
"It's from the insurance company for my car. I didn't even think about it. Emily and Jake had been my number one concern, not the damn car."  
I looked at the check again. It had her name on it, not her mom's. This meant that she could stay in this house comfortably and without any help from anyone.  
"So, what are you going to do now, Bella?" I started to silently pray. I wasn't sure if I was prepared to hear her answer.  
BPOV  
Edward was as surprised as I was by my unexpected windfall. What was I going to do? I asked myself.  
"Edward, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I'm still in shock about this. I knew that the car was expensive, but I had absolutely no idea it was that expensive."  
"Oh, Love," Edward laughed. "You obviously do not speak Car and Driver." I swatted playfully at his arm. He looked at the check again and handed it to me. I sat it down on the table, tucked my legs under me and lifted Edward's arm so I could snuggle into his side. I placed my hand on his thigh as his fingers ghosted gently up and down my arm. I loved that we could just sit like this and just be. I loved the moments that we had like this every day since I had been staying with him. I couldn't imagine not having these moments with him. I could afford to stay in this house now on my own, but did I want to stay here?  
Edward said that I could stay with him as long as I wanted. I wanted to stay with him forever. Was he as ready as I was to start forever today?  
"What's going on in that head of yours, Bella? I can hear the wheels turning a thousand miles an hour." I looked up at him and he smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.  
"I'm trying to decide what to do about everything. At least I know that I won't have to look for another job. This check has taken care of that for me." He kissed my temple and I buried myself closer into him. It was now or never. I told myself.  
"I don't think I could ever live in this house again, Edward," I said quickly. "It was always Jake, Emily and me here together. We were happy here, but she's never walking through that door again. Jake isn't going bring Emily and I to tears from laughter while he is being a goofball acting out the weather forecast while it's being broadcast on the news. The laughter and happiness was shattered when that drunk bastard decided to get behind the wheel of a car that killed my best friend and broke the heart of the other."  
"I understand completely, Love. I know how much they both mean to you. Any thoughts about where you do want to live?" Edward's question was almost a whisper.  
"I could get a little one bedroom apartment that wouldn't feel so empty with just me in it." I thought I heard Edward's gasp. "Are you okay, E?" I turned so I was facing him, and he looked a little pale. He even looked nervous. Edward reached up, took my hand in his and kissed my palm. He then placed my palm over his beating heart.  
"This check doesn't change anything," Edward said. "If you want to, and I don't want you to feel any pressure at all, you can live with me." I looked in his eyes, and they were filled with sincerity. I moved my hand from his chest to the side of his face. His face leaned into my palm and my palm moved his face close to mine as I kissed him tenderly on the lips. I felt his entire body relax into mine.  
"Are you sure we are ready for this, Edward? Once I say I'm going to live with you, you are never going to be able to get rid of me."  
We were now both sitting sideways on the couch. Our knees were touching as Edward reached to take both of my hands in his.  
"Bella, I told you that you are my future. It's you and me against the world," Edward said as he kissed me. I brushed my hands over the fine hairs behind his ears. He loved this simple gesture so much that I expected him to purr at any moment.  
"Forever," I told him. "But now that I have the money, I am helping out with the expenses at the condo."  
"Bella, you don't have..." I stopped him by putting my finger over his mouth.  
"I don't have to do anything, Baby. I need to do this. Please, it's important to me," I said.  
"Whatever you want, Love." We got comfortable and cuddled into each other again. "So, now that you hit the lottery, what are you going to do with the rest of the money?"  
I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was too late to go to the bank now.  
"First thing tomorrow morning I am putting that baby in the bank," I said as I pointed to the check on the table. "I also can't ask you to keep playing my chauffeur. Although, you would look fucking hot in a uniform and a hat."  
"You think so, B?"  
"Oh, I know you would," I said seductively as I kissed him again. "Do you have any plans for the rest of the evening?"  
"Nothing that can't wait," Edward told me. "What did you have in mind?"  
"A new car," I smiled and he smiled back.  
I knew it was my car as soon as I sat my eyes on it. While I had loved the Aston, it wasn't me. That was my mother being ostentatious. It was a program car that had 20,000 miles on it with a black leather interior and quite a nice sound system, which Edward decided to blare as we took it on multiple test drives. It was a car that was sex personified, a 2010 Ford Mustang in grabber blue. Since the money wasn't in my account yet, I really couldn't argue with Edward when he wrote a check for the car. I knew that he would have the money back the next day.  
I felt like a rock star as I drove into Edward's parking garage behind him. As I pulled my car into his second assigned spot next to him, I knew that this was right. I was finally home.  
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O  
The next few days I packed up everything that I wanted and needed from the house. Edward packed up all of Jake's belongings and had them shipped to him. Jake just didn't feel comfortable in that house either. I was amazed to see the bond Edward and Jake now had with each other. I was beginning to think they had a true bromance brewing. It made me happy that they considered each other friends.  
I did replace most of Edward's kitchen supplies with mine. Once I had everything that I wanted out of the house and Jake's stuff gone, there was an almost entirely still furnished house that remained. Since Renée paid for everything, I didn't want it, but I was still pissed off at her enough that I didn't want her to have it either.  
Edward and I decided to have a moving sale the next weekend. Despite the fact that he had a TV the same size as mine, which I didn't want any more, he refused to let me sell it. He mounted it on the guest bedroom wall. I guess it was true about what they said about men and their toys, they could never have enough of them.  
I marked the stuff priced to sell quickly because I was ready to be done with anything related to my mother until she realized that I had a right to make my own decisions and live my own life. When everything was totaled up I'd made almost $3,000 from my little sale.  
Sunday night as I looked at the empty house, I closed my eyes. I remembered all of the good times that happened under this roof. I knew that those memories would stay with me the rest of my life.  
All of the utilities were scheduled to be turned off on Monday. The house was no longer my problem. It was Renée's problem.  
I hadn't talked to her since she walked out on me in the hotel room, but I was going to be the grown-up here and let her know what was happening.  
I dialed the number with shaking fingers. I honestly wasn't even sure if she was going to pick up the phone when she saw who was calling her.  
After four rings, she answered.  
"Yes, Isabella." I couldn't say it surprised me that she didn't even say hello to me when she picked up the phone.  
"Hello, Mother."  
"Did you finally realize the error of your ways and decide that you wanted my help with things? You will be so much better now that you've cut that damn Edward Cullen out of your life for good."  
I had to bite my tongue to not start screaming at the audacity of her remarks.  
"No, that's not why I am calling at all. Things are better than ever with Edward."  
I heard her growl.  
"I will not take care of you if you are with that boy. I will not sit back and watch him destroy you like he did before."  
"I don't need you to take care of me. I am an adult who is more than capable of taking care of herself."  
"If you don't need anything from me, why are you calling me?"  
"Your house is now empty. I've moved out and all the utilities have been turned off. Oklahoma winters can come early and I would hate to see your house damaged because you didn't look after it."  
"If you aren't living in my house, where are you living?"  
"Don't ask questions that you don't really want the answers to, Renée. I have a roof over my head and I am happier than I have ever been in a long time. As a parent, I would think you would be happy for me too, but I know that you don't and I can accept that."  
"That boy will break you like you've never been broken before. I can't wait until that time I can look you in the eyes and say I told you so," Mom told me in a fierce voice.  
"Don't hold your breath because that is never going to happen." I was going to lose it and I was going to lose it fast. "When you think you can accept the fact that I am an adult capable of making decisions that are right for me, call me. Until then, I don't want to hear from you again."  
I hung up the phone. Instead of sadness that I should have felt. I felt relief. In the past my life had so much negativity, I didn't have room for that in my life again. I was happy, and I wasn't going to let anyoneruin that for me.  
My phone rang again and I answered without looking at the number. Renée did always like to have the last word.  
"Calling to ask for my forgiveness already, huh?" I asked sarcastically.  
"Uh, yes, I actually am, Bella." That wasn't my mom's voice. It was Alice's.


	30. Chapter 28

BPOV  
Alice. This was the last person I expected to hear from and one that I wasn't sure what to say to.  
"Alice," I said. There were so many emotions swirling through my mind right now. I had just listened to my alleged mother berate me and tell me that the love of my life would destroy me. How I wanted, no, Ineeded someone to talk to. I had Edward, but I missed my best friend, the girl talk, sharing about our amazing significant others. I wanted to call Emily and tell her all about it, but I would never hear her voice again.  
Emily came into my life at a time when I needed a friend more than I needed my next breath. I needed a friend after the one I always had counted on had turned her back on me during my greatest time of need. Emily and Jacob, without them, I wasn't sure where I would be today. I knew that I owed them more than words could ever say.  
"Bella, are you still there?" Alice asked me with uncertainty. The Alice I remembered was never uncertain about anything. She never hesitated to tell you exactly how it was. Alice was Edward's sister. She was always going to be a part of our lives, and I knew that I had to talk to her. "Yes, Alice. I'm here." Suddenly I wondered how exactly she got my telephone number, since I'd told Edward that I wanted to face Alice in my own way.  
"First, I don't want to cause any problems for you and Edward. I know everything that you've been through to get where you two are today, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. He didn't give me your phone number. He actually refused when I asked for it. That was a first for me, since my brothers have always given me everything I've ever wanted."  
It was good to know that Alice still knew how my mind worked and answered my question before I even asked it. Maybe there was a way we could get through this and try to become friends again at some point in the future.  
"Second, I'm not even supposed to be calling you. I'm supposed to be calling Edward to invite the two of you for Thanksgiving. Before you say no, Dad isn't going to be here. Mom has decided on a formal separation from him, since he is dead set on finding a way to keep you and my brother apart.  
"Third, I stole your phone number out of my mom's cell phone. I had to talk to you, Bella. I know everyone told me to wait, but I was so certain that I was going to be waiting forever to hear from you, so I decided to take matters into my own hands."  
"Alice, breathe," I told her. This was most definitely the Alice that I knew and loved. She would always get away from herself and anyone was lucky to get a word in edgewise when she was on a roll, which is what I had just witnessed first-hand for the first time in almost a year. "If I was going to hang up on you, I would have already done it by now." I hear her expel her breath on the other end of the line. "I'll talk to Edward about Thanksgiving. I don't think it will be a problem. We were just planning on staying here and spending the time off together. Thanks for extending the invitation." I knew that I didn't sound like my old self to Alice. I wasn't that person anymore. The sooner she figured that out the better off everyone would be.  
"Great. That's fantastic," Alice was trying to sound genuinely happy, but I knew that edge to her voice all too well.  
"Bella, I know that you have been through hell and back these last few months. I'm so terribly sorry that you lost your friend. No one should lose anyone they care about that way."  
"Thanks, Alice. It's been hard, but it's not like it is the first time that I've had to find my way without my best friend at my side." I knew that was a low blow, but she had to know that I was capable of surviving anything..  
"I know I deserve that, Bella. To say that I was a horrible friend to you is an understatement. We all knew what was going on between you and Edward for years, and none of us did a damn think about it. After the shooting, well, I thought at first that maybe you had done it on purpose. I didn't know that it was a gun from our house until your dad told us ."  
"Edward and I have both realized the error of our ways from the past. Both of us were beyond self-destructive, but we are not those people anymore. We will never be those people again."  
"I know that, Bella. The man that I saw at breakfast with my mother the other day is not the same Edward. He has changed so much for the better. Thank you for helping him change and become the man he was destined to be."  
"Alice, I am not the one who changed Edward. That was all him. He found his destiny on his own. I would never expect him to change for me or anyone else. Edward had to change because he wanted to change, not because everyone else wanted him to."  
"Bella, I didn't mean..."  
"Alice, I know what you probably meant. Edward and I both found who we were supposed to be without being together to do it. The fact that we are able to be together now, after everything we have gone through shows you just how different we really are now."  
"I can see that you are both really are different people now. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am that I wasn't there for you after the shooting. I should have been. But when I heard my father tell Edward that you never wanted to see him again, I watched Edward cry every night for you, wanting you to be with him. I watched him spiral into a depression that almost killed him. I just couldn't find it in me to talk to the person that I felt caused him all that pain. Then to only find out it was our fathers who manufactured a story to separate you… Sorry isn't enough, Bella. I know that, but I just wanted to tell you that I am so, so very sorry for the way I treated you. Not just the way I treated you, but the way everyone treated you. I miss you, and it would be an honor for me to get to know the person you have become."  
"Thank you for that. Our fathers definitely didn't make the situation better for any of us. I can't promise you that we will ever be the way we were before, Alice," I said. I knew that sometimes the truth hurts, but communicating truthfully was something that I truly believed in now. I wasn't going to tell someone what they wanted to hear just to make them feel better. In the end, that didn't help anyone.  
"It's probably more than I deserve. I really hope you and Edward can make if for Thanksgiving. It would mean the world to me and to my mom."  
"I promise that I will talk to Edward today and have him let Esme know."  
"Thanks for listening. Feel free to call me anytime," Alice said.  
"Okay, Alice. Goodbye," I said.  
"Bye, Bella," Alice said as I hit the end button.  
I looked at the time on the cell phone and groaned. Edward was due home soon from his late class, and I had promised to make chicken tortilla soup. There wasn't enough time for me to do that so cheese enchiladas would have to do.  
I put my hair in a sloppy ponytail on the top of my head and went to work on dinner. I docked my iPhone and cranked up the Kings of Leon while I cooked. I had just put on an oven mitt and was getting ready to open the oven door when I felt his breath on the back of my neck, which startled me. I turned around and found myself looking into Edward's emerald eyes  
I threw my arms around his neck for a kiss. There was nothing better than his lips against mine. I ruffled his hair with the oven mitt.  
"Something smells very good, Love," Edward said, kissing my neck as I reached for the oven handle again. I knew he wasn't just talking about the food and I swatted him away.  
"Baby, you know I have my klutzy moments. Let me get the enchiladas out of the oven, and then we can eat dinner while it's still hot."  
I put them on the counter, and I noticed him looking around.  
"I thought we were having your signature dish tonight, B."  
"Well, I spent more time on the phone today than I intended to. I figured I would at least give you a little bit of spice with the enchiladas."  
Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled my back to the warmth of his chest. He brought his lips to my neck again, and I shivered. "Bella, you don't need to make food to make things spicy for me." He bit my pulse point gently then used his tongue to sooth it. I reached my hands behind him and squeezed his ass just as he was giving me another love bite. His surprise at my action caused him to bite a little harder than he intended, and I yelped.  
"Jesus, Bella. I'm so sorry," Edward said as he turned me around so he could inspect my neck. "Oh, fuck, Love. I feel like such an ass. That's going to leave a mark. Let me get you some ice for that."  
"Edward, I'm okay," I said as I tried to sooth him. "I guess that saying about not playing in the kitchen while cooking isn't only aimed toward children and their toys."  
Edward's hand was barely touching the place where he bit me, when he bent his head to place a feather-like kiss there.  
I reached up and caressed his cheeks, but Edward wouldn't look me in the eye.  
"Baby, look at me please," I raised his chin and looked him in the eyes. "I'm fine, Edward. I wouldn't lie to you about that. I know that there is absolutely no way that you would ever hurt me on purpose."  
I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck as I kissed him again. "Now, enough with this gloom, let's sit down and have some dinner. I'm starved," I declared with a grin, trying to lighten his mood.  
I moved our plates to the table. Edward sat down next to me, and I could tell that he was still moping. I had big plans for tonight, and he needed to get over this and soon. I used some of the garage sale earnings to buy a few things from an adult store not far from campus. I couldn't wait for Edward to eat those strawberry flavored edible panties I'd bought. Then for him to eat me. I squirmed a little in my seat when I pictured Edward's tongue and teeth devouring me like his favorite dessert.  
I had other special things hidden that I planned to use later in the week, including the new lingerie I had purchased at Victoria's Secret. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face tonight when I covered him with chocolate syrup and whipped cream only for me to clean off every square inch of him with my mouth. I honestly couldn't imagine that there was any dessert out there that was better than an Edward Cullen sundae.  
"Seriously, E,if you don't pull your head out of your ass and eat right now, we will not be having the fun times I had planned for later."  
He cracked a little grin then. "Bella, I'm …"  
"Don't you dare say you are sorry again, Edward Cullen, because I'm not sorry at all. Now, let's eat." We finally dug into dinner. Edward's groan at his first bite didn't help the raging hormones streaming through me.  
"These are good, Love," Edward told me. "Just not as good as that chicken tortilla soup we were going to have." He ( is that a term of endearment?) winked at me, and I winked right back. I knew that I had better get the bad news of the day out of the way before we could enjoy our desserts later.  
"So, I called Renée today about the house."  
Edward sat up straighter, and he became more serious. "It didn't go well, did it, Love?" He asked as he reached over and squeezed my hand, which I squeezed back.  
"It wasn't anything more than I expected from her, Edward. I just wish that our parents could open their eyes and see what was right in front of them."  
"It's their loss," Edward assured me.  
"I know it is. Honestly, E, we are much better off without their negativity in our lives anyway," I said. "Also, we've been invited to your mom's for Thanksgiving dinner. What do you think?"  
"Oh, have she and gotten back together again?" I shook my head at him.  
"No, as a matter of fact, I was told that your mom has filed for a formal separation from him," I said.  
"Wow, I can't say I'm surprised after what Dad tried to pull and the way he treated her. How did she sound when you talked to her?"  
"Um, I actually didn't talk to your mother," I said. "Alice called me."  
"What?" I could see the concern on his face. "I swear, Bella, I didn't give her your number. I told her not to call you."  
I reached over and held his hand in mine. "I know, babe." I got up and sat on his lap and held his face in my hands.  
"Alice told me that she snuck the number from your mom's phone, and that you told her not to call me. You know how stubborn she can be. That is a familial trait." I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder, as he began to rub my back.  
"How did it go?" He asked as he kissed the top of my head.  
"I didn't hang up on her, if that's what you're asking me. I let her talk. I talked. I didn't make her any promises. We'll see what happens."  
"Thank you, Love," Edward said as his hands tilted my face towards his lips. I sighed into his mouth.  
His hands began to roam across my body as our lips danced against each other.  
"Are you finished?" I asked as I stood up and walked to the refrigerator.  
"Yes, I'm definitely ready for dessert," he said in a lustful voice. I pulled out the whipped cream and chocolate sauce. "Are we having sundaes?" He asked while quirking his eyebrows up.  
"You're not, but I most certainly am," I said as I took a dollop of whipped cream and stroked it across his neck and licked it off, eliciting a very loud groan. A very hard cock came to my attention instantly.  
I licked my lips and led us to heaven. Quite a while later as we were lying in our bed, our sated bodies entwined together, I realized chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough on ice cream had nothing on an Edward Cullen sundae.


	31. Chapter 29

EPOV  
Until last night, I wouldn't have had chocolate at the top of my favorite food items, but Bella's sundae à la Edward was the hottest experience I've ever had. It took all the restraint in me not to finally have sex with her. My days were obviously numbered. Bella knew how to play me very, very well, and I more than enjoyed every single second of our sexual games. We had been stepping out of the box and being more creative lately, which was Bella's idea.  
Before our initial break-up, I never actually did something to make her feel good during sex. Bella's needs were never a concern. All of those years we had spent together had always been about me, my pride and my needs. Now that we've been given this second chance, I had become more intimate with Bella's body than I had thought was possible without sex. I pictured her when she stepped out of the bathroom and dropped her robe, wearing nothing but those edible panties. Needless to say, we had worn each other out.  
Since Bella cooked those delicious enchiladas for dinner last night, and had planned such a hot dessert, I decided to do something special for her - I was going to make her breakfast in bed. I wasn't much of a cook. To be honest, I was pretty much a disaster in the kitchen, unless it involved opening a can or using the microwave. Over the years, Mom loved to joke that I couldn't even boil water without burning it.  
I knew I could pour milk over cereal successfully, but I needed to do more for Bella than that. I picked up my phone and decided to man up and ask my mom to walk me through making scrambled eggs.  
"Good morning, Edward," Mom answered groggily. "You're up bright and very early this morning, Son. Is everything okay?"  
"Morning, Mom. I'm sorry; I'm an idiot and forgot that you are two hours earlier than me. Never mind, it wasn't that big a deal. I'll call you back at a more reasonable hour."  
"Nonsense, Edward. There was obviously something on your mind. You've never called me this early before. Is everything okay?" her voice was filled with concern.  
"No worries, Mom. Everything is fine. It's kind of silly," I said quickly. "I wanted to make Bella breakfast in bed, and you know I don't know my way around a kitchen to save my life. I thought maybe you could walk me through making something simple like scrambled eggs." Mom chuckled.  
"I would be delighted to help! What's the special occasion?"  
"Well, she's always cooking these insanely delicious meals for me, and I just thought she deserved a decent meal at home that she didn't have to cook herself or that wasn't from a restaurant." I heard Mom sniffle. Oh shit, she's crying. "Mom, why are you crying?"  
"I'm just so happy for you and Bella, Edward," Mom said. "Before we get started, have you and Bella decided if you will be joining us for Thanksgiving? We all miss you, especially your brother. I swear that Emmett would come there and bring you here himself if you don't promise to come," she laughed. "He says he's got big news for the family, but he doesn't want to share it unless you're here."  
"Leave it to Emmett to threaten to leave his very pregnant wife so he can get me there." I responded wryly, imaging Emmett following through on his threat. "Dad is definitely not going to be there, right?" There was no way that I was going to force Bella to be in another awkward situation with my father or even her parents.  
"No, Edward. He will not be here. He is not allowed in this house without my permission, and he must request it within 48 hours. I do not have to grant him permission, either. Enough about him, it would mean the world to all of us if you and Bella would come. Please," she begged.  
"Of course we'll be there, Mom. Bella and I both thank you very much for the invite."  
"Do you think that Bella would like to help me prepare dinner? I know that she is a culinary Goddess in the kitchen and would love it if she helped." If there was one thing that I knew about the love of my life, it was not to make decisions for her. Bella did what she wanted to do, not what others thought she should be doing.  
"Why don't I have Bella call you later and you can ask her yourself?"  
"That's a wonderful idea, Son." I heard Mom's smile radiate through the phone line. "Let's get you to work making breakfast for our girl." I smiled. I was more thankful than words could ever say that my mom considered Bella her girl, since her parents had basically disowned her. Charlie and Renée didn't have a clue what a marvelous woman they were missing by cutting her out of their lives.  
It didn't take long to make the scrambled eggs. I was shocked at the simplicity. I actually could make at least one thing now from scratch. I even successfully made toast. Okay, not totally successfully, but Mom told me that all I had to do was scrape the burnt part off of the toast with a butter knife.  
I poured a glass of her favorite orange juice and situated all of the food on a tray. I decided there was one thing missing. I went out to my deck and picked one of the last roses that was waiting to bloom and added it. Looking down on the tray, I was pretty pleased with myself and how everything had turned out.  
When I walked into the bedroom, the sight of slumbering Bella took my breath away. I knew I would never get enough of this amazing woman even if I was given a thousand years to be with her. She was now lying on my side of the bed with her hands tucked under her cheek. Her hair was in disarray. As I got closer, it looked like there were feathers in it. I moved in for a closer look, and it was definitely feathers. The feathers were coming out of my down pillow. I must have torn it while I was holding on to it for dear life as Bella devoured every single inch of my chocolate and whipped cream covered body.  
I sat the tray on the table and moved a strand of hair from her face. She began to stir as the back of my hand stroked her cheek. I leaned in and kissed her on the forehead as my hand tried to remove some feathers from her hair. I only made matters worse as my elbow hit my pillow at just the right angle sending a shower of feathers raining down on us.  
I started laughing as we both became covered. Bella opened her eyes as her hands began wiping at the feathers on her face. She sat up bringing her knees to her chest and looked at me and then and the down feathers surrounding us. Bella gathered a handful of them and brought them to my face.  
"What's up with this?" Bella taunted playfully.  
"I seem to have murdered my pillow at some point during the night. I can't imagine what could have happened to me that would have made me kill my dearly beloved pillow," I said with a crooked grin.  
"Really," Bella breathed seductively. "I seem to recall plenty of reasons that you might have taken some of your, let's call it dessert time frustration, out on that pillow." She leaned in and kissed me.  
"Good morning," we both said to each other with a smile after our kiss.  
"Do I smell food?" She asked, sniffing the air appreciatively. "Did you go get take out dressed in your pj's?"  
"No, I haven't gone anywhere this morning. Sit back and get comfortable, Love," I instructed as I turned around to bring the tray into view. I placed it over her legs and sat down beside her. Bella looked at the food and back at me.  
"You made this?" I nodded at her. "For me?" Bella mumbled. I saw her eyes begin to water.  
"Bella, what's wrong? I swear it's edible. I called Mom, and she walked me through how to make them. I did burn the toast, but I'm pretty sure that I got all the yucky stuff off of it before I put butter and strawberry jam on it."  
"I'm not sad, Edward," Bella told me as I pulled the napkin from the tray and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. "This is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much." Her hand pulled my face to hers for another short kiss. She grabbed her fork and took her first bite of eggs. I had to admit I was a little nervous. To me they tasted okay, but I was used to eating nearly inedible things while I had lived here on my own. Maybe my taste buds had been off when I sampled them.  
"Relax," Bella told me while she finished her first bite of breakfast. "These are delicious. You did a great job, baby." She stroked my cheek and took another bite.  
"You deserve to be pampered. I'm just glad that they taste good. I would have hated for you to be disgusted by them." We laughed.  
"Here," Bella said while holding a forkful to my lips. I took the offered bite. "I told you they were good," she said grinning at me.  
"Yes, you did." I took the fork from her and fed her a bite. "While I was talking to Mom, I told her that we'd come up for Thanksgiving." A look crossed her face, and I wasn't sure if I had done something wrong. "We had agreed to go, right?"  
"Yes, we did, E. I have to admit that I'm a little bit nervous. After talking to Alice yesterday, I know that we'll have to sit down and hash things out. I wish I had a crystal ball to see exactly how everything will play out."  
I grabbed her hand and stroked the back of it with my thumb. "I'll be there if you need me. All you have to do is ask. Oh, and Mom was also wondering if you would like to help make dinner. She knows all too well about your talent in the kitchen."  
"I'm sure she does," Bella smiled at me. "She really asked me to help?"  
I nodded. "Bella, she really is excited about the possibility of have you work on dinner with her. I told her that you would call her and let her know."  
"I will, Edward." She smiled at me. "Are you going to share some of my breakfast with me?"  
"I, uh, wasn't sure how it was going to turn out so I made a couple of batches and ate them. I wanted to make sure your breakfast was as edible as possible."  
"For your first time, you did a great job, baby." Bella told me over a mouthful of food.  
I curled beside her in bed and enjoyed just being with her. We spent the rest of the day just being together. Since Oklahoma weather was slowly getting colder as the days passed, I wanted us to enjoy some time outside. I packed us a picnic lunch, and we went to our meadow in Griffin Park. Even with the last of the beautiful wild flowers fading, it was still one of the most relaxing, beautiful places we enjoyed together.  
When we got back home, Bella called Mom and accepted her invitation to help make Thanksgiving dinner. They spent almost an hour on the phone. Every time Bella laughed and smiled, I loved my mother a little more. Many people don't appreciate what they've got until it is too late. I was so glad that Mom was supportive of me and Bella. It was nice to have an adult actually acting like an adult and not a petulant child.  
It still broke my heart that Charlie and Renée refused to even speak with Bella just because she was with me. And my Dad! I didn't even want to think about all the things that he had done and tried to do to me to keep Bella and me apart. It was obvious that Mom was never going to forgive him. He was the only father I would ever have, and I hoped in time that maybe we could at least come to friendly terms.  
Even though Emmett and Rosalie weren't coming to the house until the day before Thanksgiving, Bella and I decided to fly to Washington on the Sunday before. Bella and Mom were going to sit down together and plan everything they could want for dinner. It was likely that I would be spending a very long day shopping for groceries in Port Angeles because there was no way that the little grocery store in Forks would have everything that they wanted for dinner.  
Mom, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice each offered to pick us up at the airport in Seattle and drive us to Forks. Bella had other ideas. Even though she and Jake texted and talked on the phone almost daily, it wasn't the same for her.  
As we walked through baggage claim, I knew immediately when Bella spotted Jake. She yelled for him and ran straight to his waiting arms.  
BPOV  
I was so glad to be with my best friend, even if I was only going to see him for a few days.  
Jake released me from the huge hug. "You're looking good, Bella, so happy. Happier than I've ever seen you."  
"I am happy, Jake. I am happy to see you," I told him with a wink.  
"Sure, sure," he said. "I am pretty sure this guy has something to do with that enormous smile on your face. How are you doing, Edward?" Jake asked as they did the one-armed man hug.  
"I'm great, Jake," Edward said as he wrapped an arm around my waist.  
"I'd say you're more than great," Jake responded with a goofy grin.  
"How are you?" Edward asked Jake as we walked to Jake's truck.  
"Well, I get up every day and pray it will be different. I still miss her so much. Everyone says it will get easier as time passes, but I miss her more lately."  
"I don't think there will ever come a day that we don't miss her, Jake. I think we just have to find a way to move on without her, even though it is the last thing either of us wants to do," I told him.  
"My head knows you're right, B, but my heart doesn't want to do that," Jake said as he got in the truck.  
"So, Jake, did you talk to your dad about joining us for dinner on Thursday?" Edward asked trying to distract him from his memories of Emily.  
"I asked him this morning. He's still thinking about it. I know that as soon as Bella tells us everything on the menu that there is no way that he will say no," Jake said. "Are you going to make your famous pecan rolls?" he asked, although it sounded more like begging to me.  
"Oh, damn, baby. I haven't had those in forever. You can make them, right?" Edward asked with a mopey face.  
"Really, you're going to double team me, huh?" I asked. "This is what I get for being stuck sitting in the middle of the truck, trapped between both of your pitiful faces." Their expressions became even more pleading. I was pretty sure that Edward stuck out his lower lip in a world class pout.  
"Okay, okay," I caved. "You win. I will make the pecan rolls." They both started cheering ridiculously. I turned and looked at Edward. "I hope you enjoy them just as much when I hijack you to help me start making them at 4 in the morning." Edward's joy turned to dread. The one thing he hated more than anything else was being up before sunrise.  
I patted his thigh. "It's okay, baby," I assured him. "It will be 6 Oklahoma time, so it shouldn't be too bad." He nodded meekly, and I had to fight to hold back my laughter.  
Jake did laugh. Edward wasn't the only one that I was going to torture. "Laugh away, buddy," I told Jake as I poked him in the chest. "Don't think you are going to get by with doing nothing. Depending on how many I have to make, you may also be starting your day bright and early at 4. You will at least be there when they are fresh out of the oven, which is likely 6 a.m. Got it?" I said sternly. Jake sobered immediately and nodded.  
I put an arm around both of their shoulders and squeezed. "I'm so glad that's settled, and I'm glad that we are together again. It's gonna be a great week."  
I was ready for everything that came my way this week. I was happy, and I had a feeling that this week would be full of unexpected surprises for all of us.


	32. Chapter 30

BPOV  
As soon as we pulled into the Forks city limits, a part of me wanted to crouch down and hide in the cab of the truck. I didn't want to see him- my father. I reached up and rubbed my eye. While it had healed, the memory of him hitting me had not. I hadn't cared that he had meant to hit Edward instead. What Charlie did was unforgivable. Charlie going postal at Emily's funeral because Edward and I were together again was unforgivable.  
Sensing my worry, Edward rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.  
"Don't think about it, Bella," Edward told me.  
"I'm trying not to. It's just still hard to wrap my head around everyone's reactions the last time we were here," I said softly.  
"Bella, my dad has talked to him a few times, but he refuses to even go fishing with him unless he grows the fuck up," Jacob added.  
"Your dad did not tell Charlie that?" I questioned.  
"I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't been there to hear it myself," Jacob laughed, and I couldn't help but join in.  
"Jacob, I am really thankful for you and Billy standing up for Edward and me. It means a lot," I said.  
"To both of us," Edward added with a grin, and he squeezed my hand.  
"Bella, it's as clear as day that you're both happy and in a very healthy relationship. I remember how you were when we first met. You aren't that person, and I don't think there is a way you ever could be again. You are happier than I have ever seen you, and I know that Emily would be as glad to see you and Edward making your relationship work the right way this time around."  
I reached over and hugged him. "I am happy, Jacob, and I have faith that one day soon someone will surprise you and make you just as happy. I know that it's too soon, but Emily would definitely not want you to spend the rest of your life alone. When the time is right, Emily will send you someone who will knock you off your feet."  
"Hope springs eternal, Bells," Jake said as he turned into Esme's driveway. We were barely out of the truck when Esme rushed down the steps to meet us.  
"Welcome home," she said as she hugged Edward and then me. I had to admit to myself that I missed having a parent around. Esme might not be my official parent, but she was definitely there if Edward or I needed anything at all.  
"Thanks so much for inviting us, Esme. I'm really excited about helping you make dinner," I said, while Edward and Jake grabbed our luggage from the truck bed. I took my bags from Jake. "We'll see you and Billy on Thursday, right?"  
"Nothing could keep us away, Bells," Jake said as he hugged me goodbye. "Give me a call if you get bored hanging out with all these women, Edward. We can always take my dad out fishing or watch some football games on the tube."  
"Thanks for the offer, man," Edward replied. "I may have to take you up on it."  
"Edward Cullen, that's not a nice thing to say about your mother or your girlfriend," Esme scolded.  
"I wasn't talking about that, Mom. I love you and Bella both and love spending time with you. I just thought taking Billy fishing might be a nice thing to do, since he hasn't gone as often as he would like to lately. How about tomorrow or Tuesday, Jake? After that I have a feeling my twin will be hogging most of my time," Edward asked.  
"The sooner the better, Edward. Dad has been driving me crazy the last couple of days, but I'll check with him when I get home and text you later," Jake said.  
"Great, thanks for the invite, Jake," Edward told him.  
"Thank you, to you and your family, for inviting us for dinner on Thursday. See you both later," Jake said with a wave as he left.  
"It will be so nice to have so many of you back in the house, even if it is just for a few days," Esme admitted as we followed her into the house.  
Edward bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "It will be nice for us to see everyone, too, Mom."  
"Emmett has been about to blow a gasket, because whatever secret he has, we all have to hear it at the same time. He thinks it just won't be the same if we all find out at different times," Esme told us with a grin.  
"Mom, Emmett is always full of surprises. I think it's because he loves to be the center of attention," Edward chuckled.  
"No doubt about that, Son," Esme said with a laugh. "I made sure that everything in your room was cleaned up for you and Bella, since it hasn't been lived in for a while," she told us as she led us to his room.  
It had been what seemed a lifetime ago that I had been in this house and in Edward's bedroom. It still amazed me how much Edward and I both had changed and truly become well-centered adults.  
As Esme opened the door, I was overcome with shock. This was not the room that I remembered. The once modern room that was nearly dark and harsh in its appearance was now open and earthy.  
Where there had once been bleakness, now there was color and light. Where the colors were once oppressive, brilliant shades of emerald welcomed us. It was my favorite color, the color of Edward's eyes when he looked at me like I was the most important thing in his world.  
"I'll leave you two to get settled. I'm making meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. Alice and Jasper will be joining us in a few hours. Come down whenever you're ready," Esme said.  
I dropped my bags by the door and went to run my hand over the green comforter. I turned to look at Edward. "I absolutely love this. When did this happen?" I asked as I motioned to the room.  
"Recently," Edward smirked as he sat his bags down. "I'm glad you like it." I jumped up on the raised bed, landing with a plop on the lush mattress and my legs dangling but not quite touching the floor.  
He walked to me and pulled me to him with his arms around my waist, putting himself between my legs.  
"It's fantastic. It is so welcoming. What made you decide to change it?"  
Edward sighed. "Love, this is the perfect room for who I am, who we are, now. I wanted us both to be comfortable here," he said as his fingers massaged my hips, and his lips kissed my forehead.  
"It's perfect, baby," I whispered as I curled my arms around his neck. My hands stroked the fine hairs at his nape, and then I attacked his lips.  
It didn't take long before we found ourselves lying on the bed with our lips passionately locked together, and our hands roamed aimlessly over each other's bodies.  
"Edward, Bella, you're here!" Alice shouted cheerfully as she burst through the door in the whirlwind. "Oops!" she shrieked as she saw the precarious position Edward and I were in.  
"Alice, what are you doing?" Jasper asked as he walked in. "Did you even bother to knock?" He demanded in an exasperated tone. He shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her. Alice looked giddy. I couldn't tell if it was from being in Jasper's arms or if she was truly happy about seeing Edward and me.  
"Um, Mom told me to come up and tell them that dinner was ready, Jaz," Alice said in an attempt at being meek, although everyone could see through her. Being the only girl in the family, Alice knew how to play to win.  
"Sorry, Edward, sorry, Bella. She took off before I had a chance to figure out what she was going to do," Jasper said with a grin.  
I felt Edward's very big problem throbbing against my leg, and my mouth watered. I was a little pissed that we hadn't had a chance to take care of it yet. With his baby sister and his best friend in the room, our fun times were halted. I was hoping after they left that I could persuade Edward to give me a few minutes to give him some needed relief before we went to dinner.  
"It's good to see you again, Jasper. You too, Alice," I added even though I wasn't too happy about seeing either of them right this minute.  
"Hey, guys," Edward murmured over his shoulder.  
"Can you please go tell Esme that we'll be down in just a few more minutes?" I asked them. I made eye contact with Jasper to help him get the picture so the room could be cleared out. I just might have enough time to help Edward with his dilemma.  
"Sure thing, Bella. See you in a few. Come on, Ally. Let's help your mom get everything out on the table," Jasper said as he grabbed her hand and tried to pull her out the door.  
"But, Jaz..." Alice whined, batting her eyelashes at him.  
"Not gonna work this time, babe," Jasper said with a kiss on her nose. "It's not like they're going to go anywhere. We'll all have plenty of time to visit." The door closed behind them, and Edward finally rolled over on his back. He covered his eyes with his forearm and groaned.  
"I told Mom that she should have stopped at twins. Emmett and I are enough of a handful. Alice is like an all-consuming black hole. She devours everyone and everything in her path by sucking them into her wants and desires. I wasn't anywhere near finished with you when she walked in, baby. I'm so sorry."  
"It's not your fault, E," I assured him as I kissed his jaw line. "I had much more planned for you, too. As a matter of fact, let me take care of this little issue for you." I ran my fingers down his chest to the button of his jeans. I licked my lips, and thought of letting him fuck my mouth. I was surprised when I was met with the resistance of Edward's hand halting my trip along his happy trail.  
"Bella, I would love to finish this now, but everyone is downstairs waiting for us." I felt my brow furrow, and Edward stroked his fingers along the frown lines in my forehead. "Don't worry," he told me huskily. "We'll have plenty of time to take care of business later." He kissed one of the frown lines on my face and hopped out of bed.  
"Sure we will," I mumbled. "As long as someone doesn't decide to barge in again without knocking." I begrudgingly let Edward help me off the raised bed.  
He bent down and nipped my earlobe causing me to shiver. "We will not be interrupted again. As soon as we get back from dinner, I'm going to lock the door. If I even get an inkling that that isn't enough, I'll tell Jasper to kidnap Alice and keep her at his place for the night," Edward whispered in my ear.  
"This is no way to distract me, Edward. You're just turning me on even more," I confessed to him as we walked downstairs.  
"Sorry, I just couldn't resist. You know I know how to get you to turn that frown upside down," Edward said jokingly. "Truthfully, building the anticipation, thinking about all the ways I am going to make you cum tonight will make each and every orgasm I give you so much better. I will make you forget your own name," he promised me as his tongue darted along my pulse point at my neck making me whimper. "Oh my God," Edward moaned, the sound making me squeeze my legs together. "That meatloaf smells so damn good." He winked at me, and I pinched his ass in retaliation.  
When we got to the dining room, I inwardly groaned. There were only two seats open with place settings. They were both beside Alice. Pushy much? I thought. Edward glanced at me sympathetically as we took our seats. As soon as the time presented itself, I was definitely going to sit Alice down and explain to her that we just couldn't go back to how things used to be. I knew it was going to be difficult for her to make the adjustment, but she was going to have to do it.  
Conversation during dinner was awkward to say the least. Esme tried her best to keep the mood light. But between the sexual tension between Edward and me and the near animosity that Edward and I had towards Alice at the moment, nothing really helped.  
Talking about being saved by the bell, Edward, the lucky bastard, took off from dinner early when Jake called to set up a time to take Billy fishing the next morning.  
I didn't plan to stay at the table much longer. "Thanks for dinner, Esme. It was really delicious," I said. I was ready to head upstairs and help Edward give me those promised orgasms and to give him some of his own.  
"I'm glad you liked it, dear. When would you like to sit down and plan all of the goodies we are going to prepare for dinner on Thursday?"  
"Oh, Mom said that you are helping cook Thanksgiving dinner," Alice butted in. "It will be like old times, the two of you working in the kitchen together." Same old Alice. She had always wanted to be the center of attention. Edward and I banished the old times. We were living new lives and creating new memories.  
"Yes, your mom asked, and there was no way I would pass up the opportunity to cook some of my favorite dishes," I told Alice. "How about tomorrow morning while Edward is fishing, Esme?" I suggested.  
"I have a meeting in the morning. How about in the afternoon?" Esme asked.  
"That works. I can force Edward to go to the store with me to pick up everything after we decide our menu," I responded.  
"Perfect, Bella," Esme said. She began to clear the dishes and take them to the kitchen.  
"I'm going to go see if Edward is up for a quick game of pool," Jasper said as he basically fled the uneasy atmosphere in the dining room.  
I began to help clear the rest of the dishes when Esme came in and stopped me.  
"Don't worry about helping me clean up tonight's dinner. I know you've had a long day, Bella. Why don't you two go watch the boys play pool? It's been so long since they played that there is bound to be some intense competition," Esme laughed as she returned to the kitchen.  
As soon as I started towards the game room, I was stopped in my tracks when Alice touched my arm.  
"What do you want, Alice?" I asked as I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at her boldness.  
"I thought we could talk for a while," Alice murmured meekly. Good. I must have used more forcefulness with my question than I'd thought.  
"I don't mean to be harsh and insensitive to you, but I am not your best friend anymore," I explained to her.  
"Bella, I told you I was sorry for how I treated you after Edward's shooting."  
"You did, Alice. I forgive you for that, but it's impossible for us to go back to how we were before just because you want to."  
"I don't understand why not," Alice said defiantly.  
"It's quite simple. I reached out to you when I had no one. There was no one that I could talk to, Alice. No one I could confide in. I was alone. I needed my best friend, and she pretended that I didn't exist. I will thank God everyday for the rest of my life that Jake and Emily came into my life when I needed someone to help me through some of the darkest moments of my life, because the person I expected to be there for me, who I needed to be there, wasn't."  
She looked a little hurt, but I had to help her see the whole picture clearly. "Alice, neither of us is the same person we were when we were best friends. It's going to take time and patience for us to know the new people we have become. I love your brother, and I will be in his life forever, just as you will. In time, we can learn to be friends again. But you can't force this, Alice. You have to earn friendship. It is not just bestowed upon you just because you want it."  
"You wouldn't even look at me during dinner," she moped.  
I sighed and took a deep breath. "Do you not remember what you rudely interrupted when you burst into Edward's room? Edward and I were both just a tad frustrated during dinner," I told her. Alice blushed. "The first step into getting to know me is to make sure that you knock before you enter a closed door. You may see something that even brain bleach could never remove from your memory. If you had been just a few minutes later..."  
"Okay, I get it! I get it!" She laughed as she closed her eyes trying to block out the picture that my words had put in her mind.  
"Why don't we go see what our guys are up to? If I remember correctly, the last time the boys played pool, it almost ended in a blood bath."  
We'd barely made it to the stairs when I heard Edward's raised voice.  
"You're fucking cheating, Jasper. I see you moving my balls around so I can't make the shot," Edward almost snarled.  
"I'm not doing a damn thing with your balls, Edward. You're just imagining things," Jasper complained.  
"Edward, I know we were interrupted earlier, but you shouldn't let the first person who comes around fondle your balls just because I'm not around," I joked.  
"That's fucking sick as hell, Bella," Jasper said as he wrapped his arms around Alice and kissed her soundly on the lips. I was pretty sure he was trying to make Edward and me as uncomfortable as we had made him earlier.  
"My dearest love, my balls belong to you and no one else," Edward teased. As we kissed, I moved my hands down his chest to the waist of his jeans. I heard a throat clearing.  
"Maybe we should sell tickets, Alice. It seems like they are more than willing to put on a show," Jasper grinned.  
I squeaked as Edward shocked me by throwing me over his shoulder. He planted his hands on my ass and squeezed. "No way in hell, Jasper. This girl is mine," Edward exclaimed. "Goodnight, Jasper and Alice. It's time for Bella and me to call it a night."  
Alice and Jasper were shaking with laughter as Edward began to carry me up the stairs.  
"Edward, put me down. You're going to hurt your leg," I chided him. I was surprised by how effortlessly he was able to carry me up the first flight of stairs. "Okay, so you proved your point, baby. I can walk up the other flight of stairs." He changed my mind on that quickly as his hand pressed on my clit through my jeans. In a matter of seconds, I could feel myself growing restless with need for him. I was so wet that I had leaked through the denim. There was no fucking way that I could walk right now if I wanted to. Edward's hands had a way to turn my whole body to jelly.  
Edward growled. I felt his thumb press my center and I moved my hips into the motion. "Fuck, love. I can feel and smell how much you want me right now. I think it's time that we finish what was so rudely interrupted earlier."  
"Please," I whispered passionately as he entered his bedroom. I heard the lock turn and he threw me on the bed and stepped back to look at me.  
"Are you ready for me, Bella?" The fire in his eyes created an inferno deep inside me that only he could quench. Edward moved towards the bed and devoured me from head to toe with his emerald eyes.  
"Do you really have to ask?" I moaned as I grabbed the neck of his shirt and attacked his waiting lips.  
The next morning, Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead as he left to go fishing.  
"I love you, baby. I'll see you this afternoon," he whispered against my ear making me shiver.  
"I love you, too, E." I closed my eyes and replayed last night in my mind. I decided that 69 was my new favorite number, and I couldn't wait to see 69 again very soon.


	33. Chapter 31

EPOV

I had to admit despite the God awful early time we started fishing. I had a lot of fun fishing with Jake and Billy.

While we were out on the water, Billy seemed so much younger, so much more relaxed, so much happier, and he was also the only one who caught any fish. It was like even nature knew that Billy was the one who needed to be nurtured this morning.

The next few days passed quickly in a haze of activity. Late Monday afternoon, Bella and I went shopping for groceries for Thursday’s dinner. We even got all of the ingredients to make her pecan rolls. I groaned when she reminded me that Jake and I were supposed to be awake at the crack of dawn to help her make them.

When I texted Jake to tell him that he had to be at the house 5 a.m., his response had me in tears. Bella saw his text and shot one back of her own. Jake’s answer was almost instantaneous that he would be there.

Tuesday morning came way too early, but Bella had a huge pot of coffee ready when I trudged my way downstairs. Jacob arrived a few minutes later looking about as awake as I did. He went through so much coffee that we might as well as set up an IV of caffeine. Less than an hour into the task I realized I never knew how much work went into making Bella’s world famous rolls. Hours later, when we finally sat down to enjoy them with Mom and Alice, it made all the fatigue fade away instantly.

I got an excited text from Emmett early Wednesday that they would arrive in Forks just before dinner time. I hadn’t seen him since before I left for school. I had watched my twin marry the love of his life, Rosalie. I remembered his bubbling excitement as he rubbed her stomach after the ceremony, even though her pregnancy wasn’t visible yet.

Sure we had talked on the phone, texted and emailed, but I missed my twin. I was so thrilled to see him again. Mom was excited too. She said that the only times she had seen Emmett and Rose were when she went to Seattle to visit them. For some odd reason, they never had the time to come here to see her or Alice. I didn’t know about Dad and I didn’t ask.

Alice had been driving us all crazy because she was dying to see her Emmett Bear. After a while, Jasper finally talked her into going downstairs to watch a movie. I honestly didn’t want to think about what was really happening down there with my best friend and my little sister. There were just some things in their relationship that I preferred being in the dark about.

The aroma in the house was mouth-watering. Not only had Bella and Mom prepared Emmett’s favorite dinner of roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy and 6 loaves of homemade bread for his arrival, but they had been cooking cookies and pies for Thanksgiving all afternoon. I told them it looked like they had cooked enough for the entire neighborhood.

Bella simply smiled and kissed me on the cheek. “Did you forget that Emmett is coming? He eats just as much as the entire neighborhood, don’t you think?” Bella asked with a smirk and a wink.

A few minutes later, I heard a car coming up the drive and raced to open the door. Emmett got out of the car with a huge grin on his face. “Edward! I’m so glad you’re here,” he waved as he walked to the passenger side of the door and helped Rose out of the car. She smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around her and helped her up the front porch.

Unlike the last time I saw her, she most definitely looked pregnant now. People always talk about women glowing when they were pregnant. I never really understood what they meant. But one look at Rosalie and I finally understood. She looked beautiful.

“It’s so good to see you, Emmett,” I said as we embraced each other tightly. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, E,” Emmett said roughly. “I’m so glad that you and Bella were able to make it up here for the holiday. I know that things have been difficult lately, and it truly means the world to me and Rose that you are here.”

“Who are you, and what did you do with my twin?” I joked with him. “You’ve become an adult.”

“Me?” he bellowed and pointed to himself. “I’m not the only one. You have most definitely grown up as well.” We were interrupted by a throat being cleared. “Oh, sorry, Rosie baby. Let’s get you inside.” Emmett ushered her inside, and I followed them in.

“Hello, Rosalie,” I said as I reached to shake her hand. “You look amazing. Being pregnant definitely agrees with you.”

“Thank you, Edward. You definitely look a whole lot better than the last time I saw you,” Rose stated. “You look very happy as well.”

“I am. I think I am the happiest I have ever been,” I told her honestly.

“Emmy Bear,” Alice screamed as she threw herself exuberantly at Emmett. “I’ve missed you so much, Em,” she said into his neck.

“I missed you too, Ally,” Emmett said as he put her on the ground. “Hey, Jaz. Good to see you,” Emmett added as they shook hands.

“Emmett, Rosalie, welcome home,” Mom said with a huge grin as she hugged Emmett then Rose. She patted Rose’s bulging stomach. “Hello, beautiful baby. I love you,” Mom said as we all laughed. “What’s so funny?” Mom asked us.

“It’s not like the baby can hear you, Mom,” Emmett said. Rose shot him a nasty look.

“Like you don’t talk to the baby all the time yourself, Em,” Rosalie stated firmly. “You’re the one who found that information in the baby books that research shows that it is likely they can hear the outside noises and voices,” she scolded causing Emmett to blush.

I noticed Bella standing off to the side and went to go get her.

“B, I’ve missed you,” Emmett said as he enveloped her in a tight hug and picking her up off the ground.

“I’ve missed you too, Em,” Bella said with a laugh.

“Bella, this is the love of my life, Rose. Rose, this is the love of Edward’s life, Bella,” Emmett said.

Bella reached out her hand to shake Rose’s. “It is so nice to finally meet you. You look absolutely stunning. Impending motherhood looks incredible on you,” Bella added.

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too. Emmett and I are thrilled about becoming parents,” Rose said as she patted her belly. I didn’t know a lot about pregnant women. Maybe it was because she had been so slim before, but she honestly looked like she was going to give birth any second, not in 2 months.

“Dinner is ready. Bella and I made your favorite, Emmett,” Mom said.

“Hot damn!” Emmett fist pumped. The next thing we knew he began dancing in a circle and singing. “I’m getting pot roast with mashed taters and lots of gravy.” We all laughed at his antics. He may have matured in many ways, but I was thrilled to see that the comical, entertaining Emmett was very much alive and well.

“I also have a surprise for you for breakfast in the morning,” Bella said as she went to the kitchen. She came back out with an enormous bowl covered in aluminum foil and handed it to Emmett.

He opened up the package and began jumping up and down. “Your pecan rolls. I could eat these up right now,” he said giddily. “It wouldn’t hurt me to eat just one before dinner,” he mused.

He bent down to take a bite and bit into thin air. Rose had taken the package from his hands. “Em, your mom and Bella spent a lot of time making dinner for us. We will eat pot roast tonight, and I promise that you will get to eat at least one of these tomorrow.”

“Just one?” Emmett whined. “Baby, there are 4 in there.”

“I know that. Your spawn suddenly have a craving for pecan rolls,” Rose closed her eyes and took a bite of one of the rolls and moaned. “Damn, Bella. This is the best thing I have tasted in ages,” Rose said while taking another bite.

I looked over at Emmett, and he looked like a kid at Christmas who had just been told Santa wasn’t real.

We all were biting our tongues in an effort to not laugh at the scenario unfolding in front of us. No one, I mean no one, ever came between Emmett and his food. This was a sight that none of us imagined happening and also showed just how much Emmett really loved Rosalie. Before her, he never would have let anyone come between him and Bella’s pecan rolls.

After she demolished one of the rolls, she closed the package and gave it back to Bella. “You better keep these for us until tomorrow or Emmett won’t get any, just Baby and me,” Rose grinned as she rubbed her belly. “I know myself well enough to admit I have no self-control when it comes to food right now.”

Dinner was a boisterous affair. We were all excited to just be together after all this time and enjoying each other’s company. I couldn’t remember the last time all of us had been together for a happy occasion.

It was a good thing Mom and Bella overcooked, because Rose was giving Emmett a run for his money in the eating department. She even wolfed down an entire loaf of bread by herself. I didn’t know where on earth she could be putting it. The only place she looked pregnant was her stomach.

While Mom and Bella began to serve dessert, homemade turtle brownies, I remembered that Emmett said he had some huge news for all of us. “So, Emmett, you wanted us all together to tell us something. What’s up?” I asked.

“Well, Rosalie and I have known this for a while, but I wanted to be able to tell everyone I love about this face-to-face,” Emmett said with the biggest grin I’d ever seen him wear on his face. He got up to stand behind her and reached to take one of her hands in his. “We’re having twins,” he shouted eagerly.

“Oh my God,” Mom said. “I’m going to get two grandbabies to spoil absolutely rotten. I’m so happy for you both.” She had tears streaming down her face and hugged Emmett and Rose. “What are you going to have?”

“We asked the doctor not to tell us yet,” Rose said and Mom looked almost crushed. “It was even Emmett’s idea for it to be a surprise for us. He said if we could wait this long to tell you all we were having two that we could wait a little longer to find out what we are having.”

“I can’t believe you have been able to keep this a secret for this long. You were always the one who told every secret they knew to anyone who would listen,” I joked as I hugged him.

“I told him the same thing,” Rose grinned. “I was sure that he would accidentally blurt it out. I’m the one who almost let the cat of the bag tonight when we first got here.”

“Yes, you almost did, my love,” Emmett said as he embraced her tightly.

“As much as I would love to stay and chat with everyone, it has been a very big day. These two have exhausted me,” Rose said with a yawn to her stomach. “I’m going to go to sleep before I pass out standing up. Thanks so much for an incredible dinner.”

“Let me go tuck my wife in, then I want to sit down and visit with my twin,” Emmett said as he led Rose up the staircase.

I followed Bella into the kitchen and hugged her close to me. “I can’t wait until the day that is us, happily married and expecting a baby,” I bent down to whisper in her ear.

“I can’t either, Edward,” Bella sighed as she stroked my cheek and kissed my lips tenderly.

“When I think of seeing you pregnant with my child,” I murmured. “I just don’t think life could get any better than that.” Bella smiled even more at my words and kissed me again.

“Go spend some time with your brother, babe. I am going to help get this mess cleaned up since we are going to start all over again tomorrow,” Bella said as she got another handful of dishes.

“Mom, where did Jaz and Ally go?” I asked as I passed her in the dining room.

“His grandparents are here from out of town, and he and Alice are going to spend some time with them tonight,” she answered.

“Hey, Edward,” Emmett said as he bounded down the stairs. “Let’s go to the basement and play some pool.”

“Sounds good, Em.” I followed him downstairs. As soon as we made it to the basement, Emmett’s face was no longer happy. It looked serious, almost angry. He sat down on the couch and I joined him. “What’s going on, Emmett? Is everything okay with Rose and the twins?” I asked my voice filled with concern.

“They are fine. All three are very healthy, thank God,” Emmett said. “I need to tell you something. This is something that only Rose knows. I know that you don’t keep anything from Bella now, and I totally understand that. But please, do not talk about this if there is any chance Mom or especially Alice could hear.”

“Of course, Emmett,” I agreed.

“Do you remember the day that I came to you and told you that Rose was pregnant?” Emmett asked.

“I remember every word of it, Em. You were afraid that Mom and Dad would take it badly.”

“Come to find out, I did have reason to be concerned,” Emmett began. “Not long after Mom left the room, Dad told me that Rose was just using me. That there was no way an older woman would want a thing to do with someone like me unless she was just after my trust fund. He told me that I needed to break it off with her or he would disown me. He said that he’d cut me off entirely.”

“Oh, Emmett. I wish I could say that surprises me, but nothing about Dad’s actions could surprise me anymore,” I assured him.

“I told him that I loved her, and that I had no doubt that she loved me. He said that he was not going to support our marriage in any way, shape or form. I told him that was fine by me. If he wanted to be that way that we didn’t want him in our lives. Unfortunately, he didn’t stop there.” Emmett’s eyes began to well up with unshed tears.

“What in the hell did that bastard do to you, Emmett?” I asked.

“It wasn’t what he did to me. The next day I got a frantic call from Rose. She asked me to meet her at her apartment. Dad had asked her to come into his office at the hospital for a little chat. He called her a gold digging whore and said that if she knew what was good for her that she would get out of my life and stay out. He gave her this check, Edward.” Emmett reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded, worn piece of paper.

My eyes bulged out of my head when I saw the check made out to Rosalie Hale in the amount of $250,000.

“Dad also told her to make sure that there was nothing to tie her and me together. He said that even if she gave birth to my bastard child that he wouldn’t accept her or our child in his life. He assured her that the child would get no financial support from him ever. He ordered her to fix it, leave Washington and never come back.”

I sat there shocked as I heard Emmett talk about Dad’s brutal actions. What could you say to your brother, one of the best people you’ve ever known, who was more than bullied by your father, someone who was supposed to love him without reservation? I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that I had been that way too. I thanked God everyday that I was not the monster that our father was. That I wasn’t the monster that I used to be.

Emmett continued, “I guess Dad didn’t realize that Rose had much more than the amount of that check at her disposal. When her parents died, she not only received their insurance money, but also the money from her dad’s very successful insurance franchise. She didn’t need or want his or my money for anything. We were more than able to take care of ourselves and anyone else who came along.”

“Why didn’t you tell me or Mom about it when this happened, Em?” I asked.

“Edward, I love you. You are my twin. You’re my other half. When you were broken, I was broken. You had just begun to pull yourself together. You were finally getting healthy mentally and physically. I didn’t want to risk you falling apart again. Honestly, I had no idea how you would feel if I told you that Dad told Rose to have an abortion. That he fucking ordered her to kill our babies.”


	34. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: We still own nothing but a reformed Doucheward who is becoming rather Swoonward.
> 
> To all of you who continue to add our story to your alerts, faves and communities…THANKS! A special thanks to our pre-readers Jasper’s Woman, L, Jiff Simpson, Luee Fishes.
> 
> Chapter Songs:  
> “Love Can Build a Bridge” The Judds  
> “These Are the Days” Natalie Merchant  
> “There You’ll Be” Faith Hill  
> “This Woman's Work” Kate Bush

Chapter 32

 

BPOV

When Edward told me about his conversation with Emmett, I couldn’t believe it. I knew that Carlisle had issues with Edward and me, but I couldn’t believe he had tried to pay off Rose and he ordered her to have an abortion. Carlisle must have been a few bricks short of a load. Or he was just an unbelievably cruel bastard.

Neither Charlie nor Carlisle would be winning father of the year any time soon. I really hoped that Emmett would tell Esme about what Carlisle had attempted to do to him and Rosalie. She had a right to know about the attempted bribe.

The next morning I met Esme in the kitchen at 6 to begin preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Billy had called last night and offered to make his specialty: fresh roasted corn soup. Jacob told me they usually ate it with toasted cheese bread. Since I adored baking, I decided to make a few loaves of cheese bread to go with the soup. We would be able to have the bread and soup as an appetizer while the main dishes finished cooking. 

The fact that Esme had double ovens in her kitchen made food preparation so much easier, and I was a little bit jealous about the amazing set up. The twenty pound turkey went in first. While I made the bread, Esme made homemade crusts for our pies. Although there were only going to be nine people eating lunch at the house, well eleven if you counted Rose and Emmett’s unborn twins, we decided on a total of 6 pies: three pumpkin, 2 pecan and one of Edward’s favorite, apple crumb.

To round out the main meal, Esme and I made roasted red potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green beans with almond slivers, oyster dressing, giblet gravy, spinach salad, and rolls. After seeing a demonstration of Rosalie’s appetite for carbs last night, we had no doubt that she would continue her food fest today, too. 

As we spent the morning cooking, Emmett, Jasper and Edward spent time downstairs in the game room playing pool and watching football. Rose and Alice had taken over the den where Alice was showing Rose various outfits online that she thought were a must for the twins’ wardrobe. Edward took a break from spending time with his brother and his best friend to set the table with Esme’s finest china.

Billy and Jake arrived a little before noon. We had planned to have the main meal at one, but Emmett and Rose kept begging to be fed. It wasn’t Emmett who guilted us into rushing dinner, it was Rose. She loving patted her stomach, pouted her lips and would give us the saddest puppy dog eyes. With that pathetic, longing gaze, it was no wonder that Emmett catered to her every whim. Rose most definitely knew how to get exactly what she wanted. How could anyone turn down the request to feed the starving, almost eight month pregnant woman?

Everyone had eaten the soup and cheese bread and were chatting in the living room, while Esme and I placed the full meal on the buffet behind the dining room table. I caught Rose peeking her head around the corner of the dining room. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was drool beginning to run down her chin as she saw the feast we were serving for lunch.

“That looks amazing,” Rose whispered almost reverently.

Esme wiped her hand on her apron then removed the stained cloth as she gave the buffet a final glace at the food we’d set out. “I guess it is time to feed our hoard,” she laughed.

I had barely turned the corner to call everyone to the table when I saw that everyone was already up and headed our direction. “We didn’t say that you could come and eat yet,” I joked with them.

“But, Bella, if you don’t let us in there soon, Rosie will eat everything,” Emmett whined pitifully.

“I heard that, Emmett Dale Cullen!” Rose yelled at him from the dining room. Emmett acted like a scolded child after hearing her tone, but I noticed her words were a tad muffled. I would bet my life that she had already begun eating her lunch.

“Well, dinner is ready,” I laughed as I got out of the way of the stampede as they went to the dining room.

The food was spread out on the buffet on the dining room wall and everyone, except Rose, who was already seated and almost shoveling her food in her mouth, loaded their plates. After everyone was seated, Esme addressed all of her guests, “Before we begin our meal, I would like to go around the table and share what we are most thankful for.”

“I’ll start,” Rose mumbled through a mouthful of food. “I am so thankful for all of this. The kids and I are starving,” she told us as she put a huge chunk of turkey in her mouth.

We couldn’t help but smile at her exuberance. Emmett shook his head and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m thankful for this incredible woman and the two miracles she is carrying.” Emmett had barely gotten the last word out of his mouth before he began giving Rose a run for her money on speed eating.

“I’m thankful to be sharing my Thanksgiving with such a wonderful group of friends,” Billy said. “It means the world to Jake and me that you included us today.”

“It was our pleasure,” Esme beamed a smile at him.

It was now Jake’s turn. I could tell that he was struggling. The holidays were going to be so tough on him without Emily to share them with. “This has been a tough year for me. I’m just thankful to be here with friends and for all their help in getting me through everything.”

I reached over the table and patted his hand. “I’m thankful for second chances and new beginnings,” I said looking into Edward’s beautiful eyes. He leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek.

“I’m also thankful for second chances,” Edward declared, his gaze never wavering from mine.

“You can’t say the same thing as Bella, Edward. That’s not how —,” Emmett. “Ouch, Rosie!” Emmett reached down to rub his shin.

“He can be thankful for whatever he wants to be,” Rose said. I really couldn’t look at her right now, not while she was talking with a mouthful of semi-chewed food that I was sure would end up splattered on the tabletop at any moment.

“I’m thankful to be with my very best friends and my girl,” Jasper declared. Alice’s beaming smile lit up the whole room with his words.

“I’m thankful my big brothers are here. Oh, I’m also glad that there are going to be two babies for me to dress up in amazing clothes and to spoil absolutely rotten,” Alice said.

Esme was the last to share her thanks. Her eyes were alight with joy and happiness. “I’m thankful that all of my children are here with me and for our wonderful friends. I’m also beyond thankful that Bella was here to help me prepare enough food for our small army!”

The rest of our meal was filled with small talk and lots and lots of food. Rose did eat enough for a small army. I stopped counting how many plates she had eaten after six.

Billy and Jake stayed only a few minutes after they finished eating. I could understand Jake’s difficulty. Almost everyone was coupled up. I knew that just thinking about Emily was tearing him up inside. But I was glad that he and Billy decided to spend lunch with us today. Esme and I fixed them some leftovers to take home with them. Edward walked them both to the truck since it was easier when two people helped Billy in the truck.

After lunch, Rosalie admitted she was not only stuffed but exhausted. Emmett helped her to their room upstairs before heading downstairs with Jasper, Edward, and Alice.

I helped Esme put the food away and clean the kitchen. As I was washing up the last of the pans, I felt warm air and soft lips against my nape.

I turned and met Edward’s lips with mine. 

“I think I’m feeling the after effects of those oysters you put in the dressing, Love,” Edward whispered in my ear. His sexy voice and the moist air from his breath washed over my skin almost making me melt into a puddle in the kitchen floor.

“I promise to help you take care of your issues later tonight, handsome,” I whispered back. “Having fun playing pool downstairs with everyone?”

“I don’t think pool is going to last much longer. It seems dear, sweet Alice has turned into a pool shark. I got two shots in before she ended up kicking my ass,” Edward chuckled. 

“Jasper and Alice play a few times a week,” Esme said. “I didn’t realize that she had gotten so good at it.”

“Good is an understatement, Mom. You should go watch Alice kill Emmett,” Edward suggested to me as Esme finished drying the last of the pans and putting them away. “Emmett is pouting so badly he may now have permanent frown lines,” Edward laughed.

“Emmett has never lost anything to Alice. This I’ve got to see,” I dried my hands and kissed him on the cheek. “Are you coming back downstairs?”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, baby. I need to talk to Mom for a minute,” Edward said.

As I headed to the stairwell, I heard Esme ask Edward, “Is something wrong, honey?”

“Let’s head to the office and chat,” Edward said. 

I faintly heard the office door shut as I reached the basement.

“Ally, what the hell?” Emmett grumbled as I looked over and watched her sink her last ball. Most of Emmett’s balls were still scattered around the pool table. Emmett threw his cue on the table, and I joined Alice and Jasper in laughing as he stalked to the couch, threw himself down, and sulked.

“What’s the matter, Emmett?” Alice taunted as she plopped down beside him and threw her arm around him. “Is it that you can’t stand to lose, you can’t stand to lose to me, or you can’t stand to lose to a girl?” Alice asked with a smirk.

I swear his lips stuck out like a kid who was denied his favorite toy. “It’s all three, okay, Ally?” Emmett mumbled. 

“You have always loved competition, Emmett,” I said as I sat down on his other side. “I can’t wait to see how you handle two kids. Are you going to be frustrated when one baby’s diaper isn’t on exactly as the other’s?”

“Ha ha, Bella. You are all just a bunch of comedians today, huh?” Emmett was still moping which was definitely a sight to behold. “Jasper, aren’t you going to help me out here? The girls are ganging up on me.”

“Emmett, I know when to pick a battle, and I know when to bow out. I am definitely keeping my nose out of this one,” Jasper told him.

“Gee, with friends like you all —” Emmett began. 

“You know we love you, Emmett,” I told him with a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you too, Emmy Bear,” Alice said as she kissed his other cheek. 

“Oh, I just can’t stay mad at you two,” Emmett said as he crushed us both to him in a huge bear hug.

“Emmett, get up here now!” Our camaraderie was suddenly disrupted as we heard Edward shout frantically from the first floor.

Emmett ran up the stairs as we rapidly followed him. Esme and Rose were on the couch. Rose was deathly pale with one hand on her stomach and the other squeezing Esme’s.

“Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?” Emmett said in a whisper as he squatted down in front of Rosalie, taking her hand in his.

“It’s the babies, Emmett,” Rosalie whimpered as she grabbed at her stomach again. “I think I’m in labor.”

With her words, Emmett became as ashen as Rosalie. “It’s too soon, baby. Are you sure?” Emmett asked.

“I don’t think it’s Braxton Hicks. My contractions are getting closer together, and they are getting stronger,” Rose admitted.

“We have to get you to your doctor in Seattle,” Emmett urged.

“There’s no way that we will make it in time,” Rose muttered. “We’re going to have to go to the hospital here.”

As she said those words, Edward’s and my eyes met, silently praying that the man who helped raise them and also tried to destroy them was not on duty today.

“Emmett, where are your keys? I will get the car and bring it up so you can help Rose get down the stairs,” Edward said. Emmett pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Edward. As he was on his way out the door, Edward turned to look at me.

“Go, babe. Take Emmett, Rose and your mom to the hospital in Emmett’s car. Jasper can drive Alice and me,” I assured him.

Emmett scooped Rose in his arms and kissed her softly on her forehead. “It’s going to be okay, baby,” Emmett vowed to her as he began to carry her to the car. “All three of you will be fine. I swear it.”

“I love you so much, Emmett,” Rose breathed.

“You three are my life, Rose,” Emmett murmured as Esme followed them out the door.

The car ride was silent as we followed them a few minutes later to the hospital. By the time that we had parked and made our way into the hospital, Rose had already been admitted into labor and delivery. Edward and Esme were in the waiting room, and Emmett was with Rose while she was being examined by a doctor.

“Mom, be honest with us,” Alice begged. “They’ll be okay, right?”

“Alice, Rose is strong and in great health. Most pregnancies with multiple births don’t make it to full term. She’s in good hands right now,” Esme explained, reassuring all of us with her calm and inner strength.

Suddenly another doctor and four nurses entered Rose’s room. I heard a familiar voice let loose a blood curdling scream which sent chills down my spine.

Emmett was ushered out of the room mere seconds later, and he had tears streaming down his face. Esme ran to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

“What’s wrong, Emmett? Is everything alright with Rose and the babies?” Esme asked as she led him to the waiting area to sit on a couch.

“I don’t know what’s going on, Mom,” Emmett cried as he grabbed onto Esme tightly. “It looked like everything was going fine. Suddenly, Rose shouted and the monitors connected to her went wild. The doctor said something about her placenta and that the babies had to come out right now,” Emmett sobbed. “I can’t lose them, Mom. I can’t imagine my life without Rose or the babies.”

Emmett got up from the couch and began walking up and down the hallway. “I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her,” Emmett mumbled over and over as the tears never stopped flowing down his face.

Esme watched Emmett closely. Her face mirrored his. Jasper wrapped Alice in his arms as she wiped at the tears on her face. Edward held my hands as I felt my heart breaking for Emmett. This was supposed to be the happiest time of his life. He was married to his soul mate. They were so happy, absolutely perfect for each other. The look on their faces when they told us that they were having twins last night, there was no doubt in my mind that they would be the most incredible parents ever.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse for Emmett and his family, a voice that none of us wanted to hear broke through, “Emmett, what are you doing here?” Carlisle asked.

“You!” Emmett roared as he grabbed Carlisle by the neck of his shirt and slammed his back into the wall. “You wanted her to kill them. You wanted her to leave me. I hope you are happy, you worthless excuse for a father,” Emmett spat as he kept shoving his father into the wall. 

“Problems with the wife and baby,” Carlisle smirked at Emmett. The look in Carlisle’s eyes was almost inhuman. How could a father look at his own child with such contempt? I could feel the hate radiating off Carlisle in waves. Certainly I had misinterpreted his comment and his reaction. He would never purposefully wish harm to his own grandchildren. What kind of person could do that?

“My wife is in there,” Emmett bellowed as he pointed to her room. “Something is wrong, and the doctors are trying to deliver our twins who aren’t due for another 7 weeks.”

I felt the tension in Edward’s body increase with each passing second. Esme, Jasper and Alice had absolutely no idea why Emmett would be so angry with his father. Their faces were filled with confusion.

“If she had gotten rid of them like I told her to do, you wouldn’t be in this predicament, would you, Emmett?” Carlisle insisted with a half smile playing on his face. 

“You God damned bastard,” Emmett snarled as he threw his arm back with his hand in a fist aimed right at Carlisle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Carlisle a bastard? *raises hand in agreement with Emmett* What’s going to happen to Rose and the babies? How is Esme going to react when she finds out what Carlisle asked Rose to do?


	35. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: We still own nothing but a reformed Doucheward who is becoming rather Swoonward.
> 
> **We know nothing about medicine, so we did tons of research. If we didn’t get it right, please don’t hold it against us. 
> 
> To all of you who continue to add our story to your alerts, faves and communities…THANKS! A special thanks to our pre-readers Jasper’s Woman, L, Jiff Simpson, Luee Fishes.
> 
> Chapter Songs:  
> “Parachute” Train  
> “Love Remains the Same” Gavin Rossdale  
> “Give Me a Sign” Breaking Benjamin  
> “Keep Holding On” Avril Lavigne

Chapter 33

 

EPOV

I shook my head hoping that what I was seeing was actually a figment of my imagination. It wasn’t.

Dad, well after this there is no way that any of us would consider that he was a dad to us at all, had just said some absolutely horrendous things about Rosalie and the twins. Hell, it was probably the most horrendous thing I’d ever heard anyone say about another person, much less his own daughter-in-law and grandchildren. 

As I watched in shock, Emmett threw his arm back to get ready to punch Carlisle. In the blink of an eye, I rushed to his side and grabbed his arm before he could throw the punch.

“Edward. Let. My. Arm. Go,” Emmett ordered through gritted teeth.

“Everything he said was to get a rise out of you, Emmett. Don’t do this. You need to think about your wife and your children.” I leaned into his ear and whispered, “I wouldn’t put it past him to have the police throw you in jail. Where would you rather be, here with your family when they need you most or behind bars for assault?”

I felt the fight leave Emmett as his knees almost gave out. I grabbed him, and Jasper came to help me get Emmett seated in the waiting area.

I looked up and saw Mom cautiously approaching Carlisle. “Did I just hear you right, Carlisle?” she asked him. “Did you really order Rosalie to have an abortion?”

He grinned – fucking grinned - at her when she asked him the question. “Of course I did. Someone had to protect his finances. Someone like her could only be using him to get to his huge trust fund that your mother set up for him. Once she gets her hands on it she will be gone, and Emmett will be left with absolutely nothing.”

We watched stunned as the short silence was interrupted as Mom slapped him forcefully across his cheek. That wiped the smug look off his face.

“You bastard,” Mom hissed. “First, you tried to keep Bella and Edward apart by trying to find a way to hurt Edward. Now I find out that wasn’t the first time that you interfered rashly with our children’s lives. How dare you try to have the love of your son’s life kill their babies? How can you say that she is using him for his money? Did you even take a chance to get to know her at all? Obviously, you didn’t or you would know that she has more of her own money than Emmett will inherit on his 21st birthday.”

The man who I once thought of as my father finally lost his smug attitude when he learned this revelation.

“Look around you, Carlisle,” Mom said as she motioned to all of us. “This used to be a family that loved an honorable man who seemed to be a great father. I don’t know what happened to you, what caused you to be so jaded, but I have no doubt that tonight you’ve managed to lose every single one of us for good,” Mom declared. “I don’t know who you are anymore, because you are definitely not the man that I married. I hope you enjoy every single second of being a lonely, lonely man the rest of your life. You could have had everything that makes a life worthwhile, but now you have nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. I’ve filed the papers with my lawyer. Rest assured that you won’t end up with a single cent of my money.”

She stormed away from a shocked Carlisle and sat down next to Emmett who grabbed her hand and held onto it for dear life. Carlisle stood there speechless as he looked at all of us. We didn’t have to say a single word to him for him to know that Mom was right. There was no way that a person so vindictive, so heartless and cruel, would be in our lives ever again. I don’t know how long he stood there with us ignoring him before he finally left. 

“Emmett, I am so sorry that he said those things to you and Rose,” Mom said through her ragged breath, as she fought the tears that were threatening to break free.

“Mr. Cullen?” A doctor approached Emmett as he stood up. 

“I’m Dr. Moore. First I do want to let you know that your wife and your babies are in stable condition right now.”

“Thank God,” Emmett sighed with relief at the doctor’s words. “What happened with Rose? How are the boys doing? It was two boys, right?”

Mom’s face lit up when she heard that it was twin boys. I wondered if Bella and I would also have twin boys when we had children. I could even see her pregnant with our children, and my heart swelled with joy at the thought.

“Yes, you have two sons. Despite the fact they were premature, they are fairly large for preemies, particularly twins. One weighs 4 pounds 5 ounces. The other weighs 4 pounds 11 ounces. Both babies are 18 inches long. We have them in the NICU. They’re doing remarkably well. They are breathing on their own, but are on oxygen. We also have feeding tubes inserted as well as IV’s to help provide them the nutrition they need. They are also in incubators to help keep their body temperature regulated.” As the doctor talked, I could feel Emmett growing more anxious. “I know this is a lot to take in, but those boys are the most active preemies I have ever seen, which is a very good sign,” Dr. Moore reassured him with a gentle smile.

“Like father, like sons,” Mom said. “You and Edward were little wiggle worms when you were born.” I gently punched Emmett in the arm with my fist, and he smiled back weakly.

“As I said, your wife is stable, but it was touch and go for a while,” Dr. Moore told Emmett, causing him to take Mom’s hand in his for support. “During the delivery, the placenta detached causing your wife to bleed internally. This in turn caused the twins to become distressed. As we delivered the twins via C section, your wife’s heart beat became very irregular. We began giving her units of blood, but before we could get the bleeding under control, her heart stopped.”

“Oh God,” Emmett gasped through his raspy voice. “Is she going to be okay?” 

“She’s stable, and we’re monitoring her heart closely. I have no doubt that the blood loss caused her heart to stop. After repeated attempts to stop the bleeding, we had no choice but to perform a hysterectomy. Had we not done so, she would have bled to death. Once the hysterectomy was complete and her blood supply replenished, her heart rate improved dramatically.”

“Hysterectomy. There was no other way to save her? Rose always wanted a house filled with lots of kids,” Emmett said.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cullen. If we had not done the hysterectomy, I have no doubt that we would have lost your wife. It was the only way for her to live,” Dr. Moore clarified. “You will be able to see your wife in about 30 minutes. I can take you to see your sons now if you’d like. You can’t hold them yet, but once we get you in scrubs and sterile gloves you will be able to touch them through the incubator.”

We followed Emmett and the doctor to the NICU. Our eyes were glued on Emmett’s every movement as he saw his children for the first time. There wasn’t a dry eye to be seen when we saw Emmett’s tears as he stroked first one baby’s face and held its hand before doing the same with his other son.

I held Bella tightly in my arms, and she reached her hand up to gently wipe the tears away from my face. My brother, my twin, was a father. I was an uncle. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the babies. Emmett pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and snapped some shots of them before leaving the NICU. They were so tiny, but absolutely perfect. And the doctor was right; they wriggled and kicked furiously in their individual isolettes. I wondered briefly if they were lonely. Until this evening, they’d spent every moment of their lives curled up with one another. It must be confusing to suddenly be alone. Maybe it would be possible for them to be put together, that way they could get the care they needed, but find some comfort in one another’s presence. Maybe then they would fall asleep.

The entire family surrounded him as he came out. His earlier worried expression was now one of awe. We all took our turns hugging him and giving him our congratulations.

“Emmett, let’s see the pictures of my beautiful grandbabies,” Mom ordered him, and his eyes lit up as he pulled out the phone.

“Everyone, this is Liam Edward Cullen,” Emmett said as he looked at me.

“I’m truly honored,” I told Emmett as I fought the lump in my throat as I hugged him tightly with one arm.

Emmett kept his eyes on mine as he showed us the second picture. “This is Anthony Allen Cullen.”

“Hey, you named both babies after Edward and none after me?” Alice pouted playfully. Well, we all hoped that it was for play.

“Allen was the closest boy name to Alice that Rose and I could find,” Emmett laugh. “Edward, you’re my twin and forever a part of me. You’ve been my best friend even when you didn’t have to be just because we were brothers. Rose and I felt it was apt to name both boys after you. I love you, man.”

“Love you too, Emmett. Thank you so much. That means the world to me,” I said through my raspy voice. I looked at Bella, and she hugged me tightly then rested her head on my chest. For all his goofiness, my brother was still one of the best, kindest people I’d ever met. 

The moment definitely ranked as one of the most incredible moments of my life ever. I thought back to my talk earlier in the day with Mom and knew what the most incredible moments of my life would be. I could see those moments clearly in my mind as I watched my nephews squirming in their cribs, and Bella’s smile as she watched them. I couldn’t wait for those unforgettable moments in my head to become my reality.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

A few minutes after seeing the babies, we were told that we could visit Rose. Emmett didn’t want to go alone since he wasn’t sure how he was going to tell Rose about the hysterectomy, so he asked Mom and me to go with him. He hesitated before opening the door. The moment he saw her, Emmet ran and carefully threw his arms around his wife. He kissed her forehead and then her lips.

“God, Rosie, you gave me the biggest scare of my life,” Emmett choked out, emotion coloring every word. “I was so scared that I’d lost you, baby.”

“You could never lose me, Emmett,” Rose said weakly. “The babies, how are they?”

“They are the most beautiful babies ever! I can’t wait for you to see them, Rosie. You did so great, babe.” Emmett bragged and pulled out his phone to show her the pictures causing Rose’s eyes to fill with tears.

“When you’re right, you’re right, baby,” Rosalie agreed as her fingers stroked the faces of the babies on their photos. “They’re really okay?”

“Perfect,” Emmett assured her. “They are a little small, but the nurses said that they are definitely good sized for being preemies and twins. And why wouldn’t they be? Look at all of this,” Emmett motioned to himself. “I am quite the big hulking fellow, and they will be just like me.”

“Rose, if they are just like Emmett you will definitely have your hands full,” I told her jokingly.

“I won’t be the only with their hands full,” she smirked at Emmett.

Mom went up and kissed Rose on the cheek. “Thank you for giving me the most beautiful grandchildren ever.”

“You’re very welcome. I guess they were more ready to meet their family than I thought,” Rose said with a tired smile. “I just hope the next grandchildren I give you come as scheduled.”

Emmett looked at me and Mom before sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Rose. He took both of her hands in his and kissed the back of each hand before looking at her will worry-filled eyes.

“There were major complications, Rosie,” Emmett said in a serious tone. Emmett very rarely used this tone of voice causing Rose to reach one hand down to her still slightly swollen abdomen.

“What happened?” Rose asked him. “Don’t leave anything out, Emmett.”

“It was bad, baby. Really bad,” he told her as a single tear slipped down his cheek. “You were bleeding and the doctors couldn’t stop it. They got the twins out as fast as they could, but they still couldn’t stop the bleeding.” Emmett closed his eyes and shook his head when he saw the flood of tears leaving Rose’s eyes.

“There won’t be any more babies, will there?” Rose whispered sadly. Emmett shook his head and squeezed her hands.

“No,” he croaked through his broken voice. “You lost so much blood, Rosie. Your heart stopped because of the blood loss. A hysterectomy was the only way for you to live.” 

Rose pulled her hands from Emmett’s and rubbed her stomach again. “No more babies will grow in here ever again?” Rose cried.

“The most important thing is that you are alive. Our babies are alive. I almost lost you forever, Rosie. I can’t live this life without you. You are my heart. It beats only for you. Only for you,” he said softly through his tears as he placed her hand on his chest and his hand on hers. “Just like this beats only for me.”

I moved to stand next to Mom and wrapped her in my arms as we watched my brother comfort his wife. It was so hard to see Rose’s and Emmett’s hearts breaking for what they could never have. Emmett was right though. She was still alive, unlike Emily. I would never forget the moment that Jake found out that he had lost the love of his life, that she was never coming back, and they would never have their happily ever after. They wouldn’t have their forever.

Despite everything, Rose and Emmett were going to have their forever with Anthony and Liam. God definitely worked in mysterious ways. You never knew whether tomorrow would come.

I remembered the conversation that I had with Mom right before Rose went into labor. I smiled as I recalled what she gave me. Bella and I were definitely going to have what Rose and Emmett have. I was ready for forever to start now. I just prayed that Bella was as ready as I was. Maybe God would give me a sign.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

The rest of the holiday weekend passed in a blur. We were constantly at the hospital to see Rose and the twins. We were thrilled to be able to witness Rose and Emmett hold them in their arms for the first time on Saturday night.

As much as Bella and I wanted to stay, we knew we couldn’t afford to miss anymore classes with finals coming up. We promised everyone that we would be back for Christmas. 

After an emotional goodbye to Emmett and my namesakes, even though I couldn’t hold them yet, Emmett held up his cell phone next to their incubators so I could “talk” to them, Mom drove Bella and me to the airport early Sunday morning.

Sleepy Bella was always one of my favorites. I loved every minute of her cuddled into my side and snuggling as close as she could get while we waited to board the plane.

When they finally announced our flight, I had to shake Bella awake. The way she looked at me when she first opened her eyes and saw me, I had no words on how that made me feel inside. I kissed her tenderly on the lips and felt her smile. 

“Good morning again, sleepy head,” I told her as I brushed her hair behind her ears.

“Hey, baby,” Bella said huskily. “Is it time to go already?” 

“Yep, time to board the plane. OKC here we come then the short drive home to Norman.”

Since we hadn’t had a lot of time to rest the last few days with all of the excitement, Mom upgraded our tickets to first class. Normally, Bella would have had a fit about someone spending what she felt was an extravagant amount of money on her, but she was undeniably exhausted and she knew Mom was trying to give us a comfortable opportunity to rest before we headed back to the real world. 

We got comfortable in our seats, drank huge glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice and covered up with our blankets so we could sleep on the flight home. We had been lucky to get a direct flight from Seattle to Oklahoma City. Those were definitely few and very far between.

I’m not sure how long we slept while wrapped in each other’s arms, but a surprise announcement from the captain got us awake really quick.

“Ladies and gentlemen this is Captain Dean. Unfortunately, the visibility in Oklahoma City has become too low for us to fly in today because a freak snow storm has hit the area. The forecast calls for this weather to continue into the night, so flights to Oklahoma City today are being cancelled. The airline is sorry for this inconvenience. We will be diverting to Las Vegas. If you need help finding a hotel room and booking your flights to OKC, please check with representatives at our ticket counter. Again we are very sorry for this inconvenience.”

“Did he just say what I think he did?” Bella asked me groggily.

“Yes, he did. It’s snowing in Oklahoma. In November. Oklahoma weather is definitely wacky,” I laughed.

“It definitely is,” Bella agreed. “That was one of the reasons that Jake initially wanted to study at the University of Oklahoma. One day the weather could be sunny and 70 degrees. The next day there could be a foot of snow. Crap, we’re going to miss more classes, aren’t we?”

“Looks that way, love,” I kissed her on the forehead. “Hopefully our professors will understand. We can send them emails from our cell phones once we land. I will also call Mom and let her know what’s going on. She may know of a place for us to stay while we are there. Hopefully we can make it on a flight out tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest.”

“If I have to miss a day of class, tomorrow is definitely the best day to miss it,” Bella said with a yawn. “Professor Winchester said that we weren’t going to start reviewing for the final until Wednesday and that is the only class that I am really worried about.”

The moment the plane landed in Las Vegas, almost all of the passengers ran directly to the counter. A handful of passengers went to the slot machines that cluttered the walkways and started trying to win the big jackpot.

Bella began emailing her professors, and I made my way to a quiet area to make a phone call to Mom. I think I had just gotten the sign that I needed.

“Edward, you shouldn’t be in Oklahoma City yet. Is everything okay?” Mom asked with concern.

“We’re fine. A freak snow storm hit Oklahoma so our flight got diverted to Las Vegas,” I told her and heard her gasp on the other end of the line.

“Vegas. Are you going to do what I think you are planning on doing, Son?”

“I’ve been waiting for the right moment. The perfect moment. If being in Vegas isn’t a sign from up above when I have Granny Platt’s engagement ring and wedding band with me, I don’t know what is. I love her so much, Mom.”

“I know you do, Edward,” Mom sniffled on the other end of the phone.

“Could you help us with hotel reservations for tonight with a late check out for tomorrow and organize a flight from Vegas to Oklahoma City?”

“I most certainly can. Give me about five minutes, and I will call you back with the hotel information.”

“Thanks a lot, Mom,” I hung up and walked over to Bella who was still typing furiously on her iPhone in the crowded waiting area. “Almost done, B?” I asked.

“Yep, this is the last email,” she told me. “Did you get a hold of Esme?” 

I nodded. “She’s working on hotel reservations for us as we speak.” I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth when Mom called telling me she had gotten us a suite at the Four Seasons Hotel. She also said to let her know if I needed any other special arrangements made for the night. I told her I would let her know.

Bella and I gathered our bags and found the car from the Four Seasons waiting for us outside the airport. It didn’t surprise me that Mom had gone all out. Granny Platt came from old money, but she had a knack for knowing exactly what to invest in at the right time. Mom had more money than she could ever possibly hope to spend. 

The love of my life just shook her head when she saw the limo. I handed the driver all of our bags except for one of mine. I didn’t want to let this backpack out of my sight.

“Your mom is really spoiling us, Edward,” Bella laughed as she stretched out in the back of the limo and popped open a cold bottle of Dr. Pepper.

“It makes her happy to do this,” I said as I took the bottle from her and took a chug of it. She smacked my hand and took it from me.

“I know it does,” Bella said as we pulled up outside of the hotel. “The Four Seasons? Oh. My. God.”

“Bella, it’s okay,” I laughed. “Mom has never done anything halfway in her entire life. She got that from my beloved Granny Platt.” I smiled as I pulled the backpack over my shoulders and helped Bella out of the car. 

While I got us checked in, Bella was looking around the immaculately decorated lobby of the hotel. A bellboy carried our bags and led us to an elevator that went to the top floor. Mom had booked us the Presidential Suite, which overlooked the breathtaking mountains and deserts of Vegas, instead of the tourist trap of the Vegas Strip.

“This room is the most incredible thing that I have ever seen,” Bella said as she went to the window to look out at nature’s majesty spread before us.

My palms were sweating. My heart was racing. This was the moment. The perfect moment I had been waiting for. I grabbed Bella’s left hand and started to stroke her ring finger.

“Bella, that is nothing compared to you. You are the most beautiful, incredible woman I have ever known, and that’s saying quite a bit after having grown up under the thumbs of my mom and Granny Platt. You being with me, there is not much more that would make my life perfect. I love you so much.”

“I feel the same way, baby,” Bella said as she put her right hand on my chest. “I love you, too.”

I continued to hold her left hand as I bent down on my right knee before her as I pulled out the faded blue Tiffany’s box. I heard Bella gasp as I popped open the box that held the beautiful platinum diamond ring that had stayed on Granny Platt’s finger her until the day she died.

“Bella Marie Swan,” I started nervously, “I have loved you for what seems like eternity. I may not have always loved you the right way, but now I do. I love you the right way with every single part of me. I love the way you smile at me when you think I’m a goofball. I love how you nibble at your lower lip when you’re nervous. I love the way you look when you wake up in the morning all rumpled, yet the most incredibly beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I love the way you take care of those around you, sometimes not even knowing that you are taking care of them. I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life showing you how much I love everything about you. You are everything to me. You hold my heart in the palm of your hand and you always will. Everything I am and everything I will be is yours. You are my always and forever. Would you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is the moment many of you have waited for. What will Bella say to Edward’s proposal?
> 
> It’s about time that EVERYONE knows that Carlisle is a bastard. Thankfully, Rose and the babies are going to be okay. A friend of mine had preemie twins and the weights and time frame in the hospital were the same that we included in this chapter. 
> 
> Oklahoma has been known to have snow in November. Just not as much as we made fall lol.
> 
> If the story goes missing you can find it on Archive of Our Own under our same pen name. Links to our stories are also on the front page of our blog twidictedbyrd . blogspot . com. We will also try to post the story on TWCS when we get time.
> 
> The story is starting to wind down, so if there is something that you want to see, let us know! There are likely 1 or 2 more full chapters left then at least one epilogue...maybe 2.
> 
> For those of you wanting Jake to have his HEA, he will have one. We even know who his love will be ;). She is really excited about it too!
> 
> Follow us on twitter at twidictedbyrd  
> R/R/R
> 
> We have a new story, New York Minute. As teenagers Bella and her best friend dream of meeting their celebrity crushes. When they find themselves living in New York after college, they find out dreams can come true in a New York minute. ←This story is also on Archive of Our Own and TWCS.


	36. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: We still own nothing but a reformed Doucheward who is most definitely a major Swoonward.
> 
> To all of you who continue to add our story to your alerts, faves and communities…THANKS! A special thanks to our pre-readers Jasper’s Woman, L, Jiff Simpson, Luee Fishes.
> 
> Chapter Songs:  
> “Marry Me” Train  
> “Endless Love” Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

Chapter 34

BPOV

The holiday was definitely not everything that Edward and I had hoped for. It was incredibly hard watching Emmett facing the fact the he almost lost Rosalie. It brought back the pain of losing Emily to the forefront of my mind. We never knew if we would have tomorrow. Right here, right now was all that was certain. Life offered zero guarantees for anyone.

I felt like I was sympath, like those I had read about in the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, as I watched Rose trying to come to terms with everything that had happened to her. Despite the fact that she said she could cope with just having her two gorgeous twins, every once in awhile I would catch a pained look in her eyes. I had no doubt she was mourning the children she would never give birth to as her hand lingered on her stomach near her incision. 

The twins, Liam and Anthony, were undeniably the most beautiful babies I had ever seen. Their uncle took my breath away when he took them in for the first time. I almost had an orgasm right on the spot. The love he felt instantly for those babies flowed off of him his waves. Edward was almost as excited about the boys as their proud mom and dad. He was definitely the proudest uncle ever. When Emmett had called me Aunt Bella, I knew that those babies, those perfect little miracles I hadn’t even touched yet, had me wrapped around their tiny fingers, just like they had everyone else.

Emmett even sneaked Edward into the nursery before we left. Edward was only allowed to stick his glove covered hand in the isolettes. The moment he first held Anthony’s tiny hand in his own, I knew that Edward was just as ready for our future as I was. Hell, I was probably more ready than he was. When he came out of the nursery, I had to stop myself from dropping in front of Edward on bended knee and proposing to him. With everything that had happened, outside his sister-in-law’s hospital room was not the time or place for me to profess that I was more than ready to become Mrs. Bella Marie Cullen. I knew that when the time was right, I would definitely know it.

The flight back to OKC was actually more comfortable than I could ever have hoped. First Class was so comfy, with extra leg room and wide chairs perfect for napping. I curled into the warmth heat of the love of my life and slept peacefully like my new nephews, Liam and Anthony. While sleeping, I had the most incredible dream. I dreamed of a beautiful baby girl with Edward’s jade green eyes and a head full wavy brown hair just like mine. I watched as Edward’s eyes filled with tears as he held her in his arms for the first time. I couldn’t hold back my tears of joy as we rejoiced in the birth of our perfect, incredibly beautiful daughter.

Then my perfect dream world was interrupted by the pilot announcing we weren’t going to be in Oklahoma today and my heart dropped. I’d already missed so many classes; missing more just wasn’t an option. My anxiety spiked until I heard what our new destination was. Las Vegas. My heartbeat accelerated wildly in my chest. Maybe now was the right time after all.

Once we landed, I emailed all of my professors and told them that I would be back as soon as there were available flights. Edward called Esme, who, of course, was generous enough to take care of hotel and return flight arrangements for us. I should have known that she wouldn’t do anything halfway. When we pulled up in front of the Four Seasons, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I had never seen anything more elegant in my life until we got to our suite. The entire living area of the hotel room was bigger than Edward’s condo, and that was saying something. Two metallic gold couches and huge maroon armchairs filled the center of the room.

“This room is the most incredible thing that I have ever seen,” I whispered to him as I absorbed all the luxurious touches of the suite.

A baby grand piano sat in the corner of the room near the floor to ceiling windows. I ran my fingers over the keys of the piano as I opened the curtains and stared out. My eyes were quickly drawn to the incredible Nevada landscape before me. The sun shining on the sand turned the world beyond the city into a kaleidoscope of colors.

I heard the door click and knew that I was now alone with Edward. I swallowed thickly and chanted to myself to give me the courage to propose to this amazing man. He walked up beside me and grabbed my hand. His finger stroked and lingered on my ring finger.

“Bella, that is nothing compared to you. You are the most beautiful, incredible woman I have ever known, and that’s saying quite a bit after having grown up under the thumb of my mom and Granny Platt. You being with me, there is not much more that would make my life perfect. I love you so much.”

I felt myself blush from head to toe at his compliment. He was right. This moment was absolutely perfect. Just the way it should be. “I feel the same way, baby,” I assured him as I put my right hand on his chest. “I love you, too.” I couldn’t imagine loving anyone more than I loved Edward, except maybe that stunning baby from my dream if she were indeed real.

He continued to hold my left hand and bent down on his right knee before me. My heart skipped a beat as he pulled out a faded blue Tiffany’s box. My heart stopped all together when he opened the box revealing the most beautiful antique ring I’d ever seen.

“Bella Marie Swan,” Edward said. I could hear a little shake to his voice. He was as nervous as I was. He really couldn’t be any more adorable than he was in this moment. “I have loved you for what seems like eternity. I may not have always loved you the right way, but now I do. I love you the right way with every single part of me. I love the way you smile at me when you think I’m a goofball. I love how you nibble at your lower lip when you’re nervous. I love the way you look when you wake up in the morning all rumpled, yet the most incredibly beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I love the way you take care of those around you, sometimes not even knowing that you are taking care of them. I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life showing you how much I love everything about you. You are everything to me. You hold my heart in the palm of your hand and you always will. Everything I am and everything I will be is yours. You are my always and forever. Would you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?”

It took me a few seconds to soak in the beautiful words he had just spoken to me. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you,” I said excitedly as Edward stood up and slipped the magnificent ring on my finger. 

“It fits perfectly,” Edward said softly as he drew me to him for the most incredibly tender kiss. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed in each other’s arms, our lips lingering together for what felt like an eternity.

After the kiss ended, I stroked the ring that was where it was going to be until the day I died. “I love this ring,” I said reverently. “Where did you get it? When did you get it?” I asked. I couldn’t wrap my mind around everything. Edward had asked me to marry him. I did a little happy dance inside me.

“It belonged to Grandma Platt. I asked Mom for it after Thanksgiving dinner,” Edward said with a smile. He pulled my left hand to his face and kissed my ring finger. “You are so unbelievably sexy with my ring on your finger, Mrs. Cullen,” he said huskily.

“God, I love the sound of that name. Mrs. Cullen. I can’t believe you just proposed to me,” I sighed dreamily.

“Why can’t you believe it, love?” Edward asked.

“I was getting the courage together so I could propose to you,” I said with a giggle.

“You were going to ask me to marry you, huh?” Edward asked as he stroked his fingers lightly down my cheek. I felt the effects of his touch through every part of my body. “When did you decide you wanted to propose to me?”

“Um, actually after you saw the twins for the first time. You were just so damn adorable, and I wanted to claim you as mine right then and there,” I admitted.

“Bella, I have always been yours, heart, body and soul,” he said as he kissed me again. “So, when do you want to officially become Mrs. Edward Cullen?” Edward asked me as he peppered kisses across my face.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stay coherent if his lips kept roaming across my face. Other parts of my body were shouting for his lips’ attention too.

“I would marry you right this minute, Edward,” I said honestly.

“Really?” he asked me. I wasn’t sure if it was surprise or shock that I heard in his voice. “You would marry me today?”

“In a heartbeat, baby,” I said. “I’m 100 percent sure about you and me. I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I love you, and I know that you love me just as much. You are my future, and I know that’s never going to change. You are my destiny.”

“Let’s do it, on one condition,” Edward told me.

“What’s that?”

“I do not want to get married by some Elvis impersonator or fly-by-night minister wanna be. I want this wedding to be perfection. I want you in the perfect, white gown. I can see the picture in my head, it’s exquisite. You’re exquisite.” His words touched me so deeply that I think I fell even more in love with him, and I didn’t think that was even possible because I loved him irrevocably, completely, with everything that I had. “I want that memory of our perfect wedding for you, for us.”

“Sounds amazing,” I said as I hugged him tightly. “How in the world are we going to organize a perfect wedding this fast?”

“Let me make a couple of phone calls, and I have no doubt by this evening that you will finally be my bride. We are staying at the Four Seasons after all,” he said adamantly with a sexy wink.

“This is really happening,” I said excitedly.

“It’s really happening,” Edward said with a smile. “Relax on one of the sofas for a few minutes.”

To say I was beyond excited was an understatement. I felt like I could jump right out of my skin. I closed my eyes and pictured myself walking down the aisle towards him. I pictured him slowly stripping me out of my wedding dress and worshipping my body, finally making love to me again. I think I was almost more excited about the wedding night than the actual wedding itself. I wanted Edward in every way possible, and that was all going to happen. Tonight.

“Okay, Bella. The front desk put me in touch with the wedding planner. We can meet them downstairs and complete the paperwork for our license here. There is a small reception room that happens to be available tonight. I told the planner what I had in mind. I want it to look like a fairytale, because I’m marrying my princess,” Edward told me with a huge smile on his face. “A suit for me won’t be a problem. The planner has the name of a few wedding dress shops for you. She had no doubt that you will definitely find the perfect dress at one of the stores since they have huge selections available.”

My head was almost spinning. “You got all of that information that fast?” I asked.

“You know how I am when I want something, Bella. Nothing stands in my way,” he said as his eyes met mine. I saw nothing but certainty in them. “Shall we?” Edward reached out his hand, and I placed mine in his ready to face the rest of our lives together, forever.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

The wedding planner was waiting for us in the lobby. We filled out all of the paperwork for our marriage license, and she gave me the names of a few dress shops.

“Did you want to come with me, Edward?” I asked. 

“I hate to be apart from you for even one moment, love, but I want the first time I see you in your wedding dress to be when you are walking down the aisle to me,” Edward said lovingly. Edward walked me to the waiting limo that the planner insisted I take to the dress shops. “Come back to me soon, baby,” he told me.

“I will always come back to you,” I said with a quick kiss. 

I thought that my dream dress would show itself to me at the first store, but after three stores and no dress I was starting to get a little nervous. I didn’t want to pick a dress just to have one. It had to be the dress.

The last shop I entered was by far much smaller than the others. The note on the pages said they offered a variety of specialty dresses. I just prayed that my special dress was here. Suddenly, it was like there was a spotlight shining on my dress, beckoning me forward. I walked slowly, almost in a trance, as I made my way to the mannequin that was wearing the dress that I knew Edward would be seeing me in tonight.

“Good, afternoon, miss. My name is Shirley. How may I help you?” The saleslady asked brightly.

“This dress. Is it available?” I asked as my fingers reached out to stroke the full skirt.

“Why yes it is, dear. Would you like to try it on?” 

“Yes, I would.” Shirley stripped the dress off of the mannequin and led me to a dressing room. 

I didn’t take my eyes off the dress the entire time I was stripping down to my bra and thong. I had purchased a strapless bra at the first shop I was at since most of the dresses I had tried on needed that or just nothing at all. As much as I knew that Edward would prefer me in nothing, I relished the thought of him peeling me out of my dress, bra and panties later tonight.

I stepped into the dress and asked Shirley to come in and latch the hooks that ran up the back of the dress.

“All done, dear,” she told me. I turned around and let out a gasp as I saw myself. I was actually glowing. I did truly look like a princess in this gown. “Oh, that dress is absolutely stunning on you,” Shirley said as she straightened the skirt. “I should probably tell you the dress isn’t new. It is here on consignment. It is a Vera Wang from the Luxe Collection and is silk organza. Notice the empire waist and the silk ribbons along the bust and hem.”

“You’re right,” I said softly. “This dress is perfect.”

“It most definitely is, dear. It’s like Emily was made just for you,” she told me.

“Excuse me? Emily?” I questioned.

“That’s the style of the dress, Emily. It’s like it was made with you in mind.” I stroked my hands down the side of the dress.

“Emily,” I whispered with a smile as I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I should have known that my best friend would help me find my wedding dress, even when she wasn’t here with me anymore.

“Are you okay?” Shirley asked me.

“I’m perfect,” I assured her with a watery smile. “Absolutely perfect. I’ll take it.”

“I had no doubt you would, sweetheart.” I paid for the dress, some lingerie and satin flats, and Shirley bagged it up for me. I didn’t even remember the ride back to the hotel. I was on cloud nine. I was marrying Edward Cullen tonight. When I got up to the suite, I noticed a note with my name on the outside of it taped to the door.

Bella, The next time I see you, you will be walking down the aisle to become my beloved wife. I will be waiting for you downstairs at five. I got you a little something special to have with you today. I love you with everything I am. Yours always and forever. XO Edward.

When I stepped in the room, I could feel that I wasn’t alone.

“Hello? Who’s there?” I asked. I turned toward the bedroom and saw Esme dressed in a light pink dress. That wasn’t what had me running with a mad dash towards the bedroom. It was my best friend, Jacob, standing next to her in a tuxedo and a huge shit-eating grin on his face. “Jacob, you’re here,” I exclaimed as he picked me up off the floor in a huge bear hug. 

“Where else would I be, Bells?” Jake asked me.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Edward called us, Bella,” Esme told me. “I wanted to be here for your wedding. I love you and Edward so much. You are each other’s missing half. I am so happy that you have found each other.” She enveloped me tightly in her arms. “I’m going to help you get ready, and Jake is going to go downstairs and keep Edward company until the ceremony starts.”

She went and got the dress to hang it up in the closet until it was time for me to put it on. I hugged Jake tightly again. “It means the world to me that you are here with me today, Jake.”

“What would your wedding be without the best man,” he told me jokingly. “I do have a question for you though, Bells.”

“What is it?” I asked nervously.

“Well, you are my best friend in the entire world. I would love it if you would let me walk you down the aisle tonight. Would you let me give you away at your wedding?” he asked shyly.

“Oh, Jake. Yes, please,” I said as I started to cry.

“Don’t cry, Bells. Today is your day, and Esme and I are here to make sure it is the absolute perfect day that you deserve it to be,” Jake promised as he wiped the tears off my cheeks. “Now go get dressed and ready to walk down the aisle to Edward. I am going to go downstairs and try to keep him calm.”

“What’s wrong with Edward?” 

“He’s just more than ready to have a Mrs. Cullen at his side,” Jake chuckled. “Love ya, Bells. See you downstairs in a bit.” He kissed me on the forehead and left the suite.

I went in the room and sat down on the bed. I was excited and nervous at the same time.

“Is everything okay, Bella?” Esme asked me as she sat down beside me clasping my hands in hers, squeezing them in gentle reassurance that she was here for me.

“It’s absolutely perfect,” I said. “Just as I always dreamed it would be.”

“It will be perfect,” Esme told me. “Let’s get you ready.” 

Esme used my curling iron and made big fluffy curls throughout my hair. She brushed back the front of my hair and secured it with a hair clip with blue stones. She held up a mirror so I could see the back.

“Esme, I love it,” I said as I enveloped her in a tight embrace. I applied only minimal make-up. I was never one to wear a lot of that kind of stuff. A little powder, a little blush, some mascara, and quick swipe of deep pink lip gloss and I was done.

“It’s about that time,” she told me. “Do you need help with your dress?”

I blushed when I recalled the shear white floral corset with matching g-string that I had purchased to wear under my dress. I so didn’t want Esme to see me in that. I also bought a lace garter belt and sheer, white thigh-high stockings. I planned on knocking Edward right off of his feet the second he saw me out of my wedding dress.

“I’ll need your help to fasten the back,” I answered.

“Okay, I’ll just wait in the living room. Yell at me when you are ready.” I simply nodded and opened the bag that held my dress and lingerie.

After I got the corset on, I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. I knew I looked incredible, and I could picture the heat in Edward’s eyes when he saw me in this for the first time. He would definitely love ripping this from my body in a few hours.

I stepped into my gown and pulled it up covering as much of the sexy undergarment as I could. I didn’t think Esme wanted to see the lingerie anymore than I wanted her to.

I opened the bedroom door, and Esme walked over to me. I turned around and she began to latch the eye hooks up the back of the gown.

“All done,” she told me, and I turned to face her. “Oh my God,” Esme exclaimed.

“What is it?” I asked worriedly.

“You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen,” she gushed as she went to her purse and pulled out a large jewelry box and a smaller one. “Bella, this small box is a token of something from me to you. I received these from my mother on my 21st birthday. You are my daughter now, and I would love for you to have these and wear them during the ceremony.”

I opened the box to reveal diamond stud earrings set in platinum. “Esme, they are beautiful. Thank you so much,” I said as I put them in my ears.

“You’ve got your something old, the earrings, something blue, your hair clip, something new, that lingerie you’ve been trying to keep hidden from my eyes,” Esme said with a wink making me blush again. “In this box is your something borrowed. This is a necklace that my mother received on her wedding day as a present from my father. You are wearing the ring that he put on her finger all of those years ago. I think it is only right that you wear the necklace that she first wore when she was married.”

My eyes became the size of saucers when I saw the incredible diamond necklace in the box. 

“This is unbelievable,” I told her as my fingers stroked the stones.

“My father never did anything half-heartedly,” she said with a laugh. “This actually used to be a tiara, and my father had Tiffany make it into this ivy necklace.”

“Why a design with ivy?” I asked as I felt the cool metal hitting my skin as Esme fastened the necklace at my neck.

“It was her middle name, Elizabeth Ivy. She said that she became a puddle at his feet when he told her how he planned the necklace that would carry her name. They lived a very long and happy life together. I have no doubt that you and Edward will follow in their footsteps.” Esme kissed me on my cheek.

I went quickly into the bedroom and slipped on my white satin flats and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I swear I saw Emily behind me with a huge smile on her face and she was mouthing the words “I’m happy for you. Congratulations. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whispered to her image in the mirror, and I watched the image fade before my eyes. I walked back into the living area. “I’m ready to go,” I told Esme. I didn’t glance back as we went downstairs to start my future.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

We found Jake waiting outside a closed door towards the back of the hotel where the reception rooms were.

“I’ll be inside with Edward, Bella. I’ll see you inside in a moment,” Esme said as she entered the room where my wedding would be held. I got a whiff of something floral as the door opened and closed.

“Bella, you look stunning,” Jake said as he hugged me. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life,” I said with total certainty. “How’s Edward?”

“He’s pacing a hole in the floor waiting for you,” Jake laughed. 

“Let’s get it started then,” I laughed. “I’m just as ready as Edward is.”

“Just a minute, Bells,” he chuckled. “The wedding coordinator will come and get us when it is time for the wedding to begin.”

Jake had barely gotten those words out of his mouth when I saw the coordinator open the door. I heard the subtle strains of string instruments playing music as the coordinator came to us.

“Ms. Swan, it’s time,” she told me with a smile as she handed me a beautiful white bouquet of   
gladiolus, sweet peas and snapdragons held together with a large white ribbon. I took a deep breath of their fragrant scent and clasped them in my left hand as Jake tucked my right arm through his.

As soon as we walked through the door, the string quartet in the corner of the room began to play the Wedding March. I walked under brilliant bunches of white flowers cascading through white archways that lined my path, and flower petals were scattered on the floor under my feet. Then my eyes caught and held the most beautiful thing I had ever seen: Edward.

I wanted to run so I could get to him sooner, but Jake made sure that we kept time to the music. Edward’s smile echoed my own as I finally made my way to him at the end of the aisle where Esme was at his side.

Jake took my hand and placed it in Edward’s then moved to stand beside me. Edward and I locked our eyes on each other, our brilliant smiles almost blinding.

“I love you,” he whispered to me.

“I love you, too,” I whispered back.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join in the union of Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan in the bonds of holy matrimony,” the minister began. “In marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. Remember to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. Never go to bed angry. It is never taking the other for granted. Courtship does not end with the honeymoon and should continue through all of the years of your lives as you stand together as one to face the world. Marriage is not only a commitment between lovers; it is also an agreement between two friends. God has given you a second chance at happiness as you prepare to embark on the rest of your lives together as husband and wife. Edward and Isabella will share with each other their commitment to each other. Edward, if you’d like to begin.”

I passed my bouquet to Esme as Edward took both of my hands tenderly in his and our eyes focused only on each other.

“This day has been a long time coming. I chose you, Bella, to be my wife years ago. For various reasons, fate has chosen to delay this union several times. But I believe that everything does have a reason. The reason in this case is to show me just how much you truly mean to me.

“My life had been incomplete when I met you, and today completes that journey, making my soul whole for the first time in my life.

“I promise to be the best man that I can be for you. You have brought out the very best in me, and I promise you that I will not falter in my love for you or my life with you. You are the light of my life, the sky to which I wake to every morning. You embody the bright skies and full nights of my life.” Esme handed him a plain platinum band and he placed it on my ring finger above the glittering engagement ring.

“It is by this ring and this ceremony that I make you that which you should have been so long ago. I love you and will never let you go,” Edward said as he wiped the tears I didn’t know I was crying from my face.

 

“I, Edward, take you Bella, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for all of the days of our lives.” He smiled exultantly as his finger rubbed the wedding band on my finger.

Now it was my turn to pour out everything in my heart to this incredible man before me.

“When I was little, I dreamed of my prince charming and how he would sweep me off my feet and how handsome he would be. Today, I look at you and I see my best friend- your energy and your passion inspire me in ways I never thought possible. I always knew you were the one, because you can look into my eyes and see my soul and I no longer fear being myself- I can just be me when I am with you. You are everything that’s good, pure and true. You make me a better person every day.

“God has blessed me with you in so many ways that I never thought possible. Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again and I believe in love again. I never imagined that I would find someone that I could love that would love me back unconditionally.

“You are my soul mate. You give me purpose when I feel I have none. Without you my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete; I thank God every day that he brought you into my life.

“Today, I marry my prince charming. Today I marry my best friend. I love you with all that I am and all I will ever be.” The palm of Jake’s hand appeared in front of me with a wedding band for Edward, and I placed it on his ring finger.

“I, Bella, take you Edward, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for all of the days of our lives.” As Edward did for me, I reached up and wiped away the tears that had fallen on his face.

“By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. You may kiss your bride,” the minister told Edward with a smile.

Edward and I sighed as we kissed each other for the first time as husband and wife. I could feel his smile upon my lips, and I knew he could feel mine. We belonged to each other, heart, body and soul forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes they tied the knot, and it’s about damn time. :D From the beginning of this story, we wanted to give you a full wedding, not just a few lines saying they got married. We figured that after all of the difficult times Bella and Edward have been through that everyone would want to “see” and “hear” the entire wedding ceremony.  
> Okay, no wedding night this chapter. This scene has been a long time in coming and it has to be PERFECT, not just for Edward and Bella, but for you, the readers, and us as well. The next chapter will be the last official chapter and you will get your long awaited lemon. We promise that the final chapter they will have their happily ever after.
> 
> Most of the vows we found at the following sites:  
> http://weddings . about . com/cs/bridesandgrooms/a/vowwording . htm  
> http://www . myweddingvows . com/personalized-wedding-vows/finally  
> We also included some of the letter that Paul Newman had written to his wife, Joanne Woodward, on their wedding day.
> 
> If the story goes missing you can find it on Archive of Our Own under our same pen name. Links to our stories are also on the front page of our blog twidictedbyrd . blogspot . com
> 
> For those of you wanting Jake to have his HEA, he will have one, and you will get to read about it in the epilogue ;). We even know who his love will be ;). She is really excited about it too! 
> 
> Follow us on twitter at twidictedbyrd  
> R/R/R
> 
> We posted a O/S called The Right Wrong Number. Bella is a telemarketer. Could a wrong number be the best mistake she ever made? We are still trying to decide if we are going to turn this into a full fic or not.
> 
> We have a new story, New York Minute. As teenagers Bella and her best friend dream of meeting their celebrity crushes. When they find themselves living in New York after college, they find out dreams can come true in a New York minute. ←This story is also on Archive of Our Own and TWCS.


	37. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 35
> 
> Disclaimer: We still own nothing but a reformed Doucheward who is most definitely a major Swoonward.
> 
> A special thanks to our pre-readers Jasper’s Woman, L, Jiff Simpson, Luee Fishes.
> 
> This is the last official chapter. *sniffles* Thanks to all of you you’ve stayed for the ride. We love you :D
> 
> My dearest Heather - We did it!! Thank you so much for asking me to co-write this with you. It has been a blast and truly has been an honor. Love you! In fact, I love you like a frozen hard banana dipped in chocolate, that Jackson takes a bite out of in slow motion! Like that! LOL! Until next time! *mwah*
> 
> Steph- It seems like yesterday that you and I started this story for a O/S contest. I had no idea that we would end up here lol. I had a lot of fun giving you the nail-biting cliffhangers. ;) Thanks so much for everything, mi amor. I love you more than this perfectly imperfect couple that is absolutely perfect for each other! :D *mwah back*
> 
> Chapter Songs:  
> “Never Thought” Dan Hill  
> “I Won’t Give Up” Jason Mraz  
> “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” Glee Version  
> “Because You Loved Me” Celine Dion

EPOV

I knew that, for as long as I lived, today was a day that I would never forget. Bella was going to become my wife. I was the luckiest bastard on the planet. When I called Mom to tell her that Bella had made me the happiest man alive by telling me she would marry me, Mom immediately offered to contact the wedding planner at the hotel to make our wedding a memorable one for my love and me.

I knew there was one other thing that would make today perfect for her. Jacob. He didn’t hesitate when I called and asked him to fly down with my mom for the wedding. He knew that it would mean the world to Bella and to me to have him attend our wedding. Jake and I had definitely come a long way from when I was a foolish dick and thought with my fists.

When I saw Bella walking down the aisle toward me on Jacob’s arm, my heart literally stopped for a moment. She was an angel so beautiful she took my breath away. As soon as I took her hand in mine and began my vows, I knew that life didn’t get any better than this. She was my everything. Forever.

After the ceremony, we posed for a few pictures. Unsurprisingly, Mom had even made sure there was a wedding cake for us. When I fed Bella her piece for the camera, I was extremely grateful that I was partially hidden behind the slice of cake. Instead of simply taking the cake out of my fingers, she sucked my fingers into her mouth, seductively swirling her tongue around each before grazing them lightly with her teeth as she released my fingers from her mouth. The first touch of her talented tongue caused my cock to harden. She was using her favorite blow job techniques on my fingers. While she looked sweet and innocent at first glance, the gleam in her eyes said she knew exactly what she was doing. 

I kissed her quickly on the side of her neck and whispered in her ear. “You are going to pay for that, my love.”

“I look forward to it,” Bella cooed back softly. “Esme, Jake, thank you so much for being with us today.”

“It was my pleasure,” Esme said.

“Thanks for helping get this planned so quickly, Mom. It was everything that I wanted for Bella and me,” I said as I squeezed Bella’s hand in mine. “Jake, it was great for you to come and walk Bella down the aisle. I know that having you here, celebrating with us, means the world to Bella. Thank you for helping make this perfect for her.”

“Edward, I know she’s in the best of hands with you,” Jake admitted. “I’d like to make a toast,” he lifted his champagne glass. “To Bella and Edward, you’ve come a long way through many twists and turns to become the happy, confident people you are today. While you are strong apart, together you have an unbreakable, unshakeable bond. May your future together be filled with all of the love and happiness that you have earned.” 

“To Edward and Bella,” Mom said as we all clanked our glasses together. Mom looked down at her watch. “It’s almost time for our flight, Jake. Bella, Edward, I am so happy for you,” she hugged me and then Bella. Jake hugged us both, and Bella and I waved as we watched them leave the hotel.

I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her close to me and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. “I love you,” I told her.

“I love you, too,” she said. I took her hand securely in mine; our fingers entwined together as I led her to the bank of elevators. 

BPOV

I looked down at where our hands were joined together. Edward’s thumb found my ring finger and rubbed the rings there. I looked up at him and smiled.

“You like that, don’t you?” I asked.

“Like what? Holding your hand?” He smirked with his crooked grin.

“No. You like that I’ve got your rings on my finger.”

“You have no idea,” he replied with a gruff voice. “I absolutely love it.” He brought our linked hands up and kissed my ring finger. I looked into his eyes and my breathing hitched. I shivered from the intensity of his gaze and felt the moisture begin to pool at the apex of my thighs. If there wasn’t a camera in the elevator, I would have asked him to take me right here, right now.

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally reached our floor. As the doors opened, I let out a squeal of surprise as Edward scooped me up in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck. My fingers played with the fine hair at his nape, while I kissed his Adam’s apple.

I felt Edward suck in a breath as he carried me to the door of the room. It took some maneuvering for him to get the key card in the door and get it opened. 

“Bella, it has been a very long time, and I want to savor every moment with you as we make love. This is the first time that we will be together as a married couple,” he told me as he carried me to our room and placed me gently on my feet. 

He moved to stand behind me. I felt his hands at the top of my dress, and he released the first hook of my gown and kissed the bared skin of my back.

“We are going to take this slow,” he said as he undid another hook and kissed my back again. “Fuck, Bella. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got on under this dress,” he murmured as he discovered the top of my sheer, lace corset.

He continued to place kiss after kiss on my back between the ties of the corset after each of the dress hooks was released. My breathing accelerated to the point I was almost gasping for breath, and my skin was on fire with each brush of his lips against my skin. We had barely started and I was sure that I was going to die of pleasure at any moment.

As he released the last hook, my dress fell and pooled at my feet. I heard Edward gasp. I was standing before him in my corset, g-string, garter, sheer thigh-highs and flats.

I kicked off my shoes, turned around, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with everything I had. Our tongues exploring each other’s mouth as our hands roamed over each other’s body. Edward’s hands gripped my bare ass and pulled me into his body. I could feel his arousal against me and couldn’t wait to have it inside of me.

I reluctantly pulled my mouth away from his and stepped back. “Bella?” Edward asked.

“It’s only fair that I take my time undressing you like you did for me,” I said as I slid his jacket off and threw it on the chair by the bed. I stroked my fingertips lightly down his throat before loosening his tie and pulling it over his head. Then, I untucked his shirt; my fingers grazing his taut stomach making him shiver with excitement.

As Edward had done for me, I torturously took my time removing his shirt. I unbuttoned first one cuff, kissing the inside of his wrist and repeated the action on the other sleeve. I pushed the button through the hole at his neck, and kissed the bared skin. Button. Kiss. Button. Kiss. 

As I reached the last button, I bent down and kissed his navel, swirling my tongue inside before moving my lips back up his chest. I moved my hands back up his six-pack to his chest, where my fingernails flicked his nipples. I replaced my fingers with my lips, sucking first one of his nipples in my mouth, biting gently then laving it with my tongue then paying similar attention to the other.

The moment I slipped the shirt off his shoulders, Edward’s lips attacked mine again. Kissing Edward was always indescribable, but this was so much more. We were telling each other that we were everything to the other. That we loved each other more today than yesterday. That we would always be together. Forever.

I moved my hands from his shoulders to the button of his slacks, slipping it through the hole, then slid the zipper down slowly with my fingernails lightly scraping his erection through his boxer briefs. Edward shoved his pants down and kicked his shoes off then his pants and underwear out of the way. 

Edward grabbed me by the ass and lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel his cock against my center, and I began to move my hips so his erection was moving up and down my wet slit through my g-string.

Suddenly, I was on my back on the bed with Edward lying on top of me. His lips and hands were instantaneously everywhere. They began to roam against my back, his fingers untying the knot on the back of my corset. 

“Roll over, baby,” Edward ordered huskily, and I immediately obeyed. His fingers unlaced each hole of my corset, unwrapping me as if I was the most fragile gift he had ever received. His hands and lips roamed my bared back. I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt his tongue at the indention at my lower back, just above my ass. Then his lips literally kissed my ass as they continued down the backs of my thighs, knees and calves as he unhooked and unrolled my stockings.

He moved his mouth back up my legs again, and I felt his hands stroke my inner thighs. Just when I thought he would be where I needed him most he turned me to my side. Our legs entwined together as his mouth kissed my shoulder down to my chest.

Edward’s hands leisurely pealed the corset down my chest. He kissed each inch of naked skin before exposing more of it. When he finally removed the corset, his lips, teeth, tongue and fingers devoured my breasts and nipples as I had his.

I arched my back pushing my breasts closer to Edward’s face and hands, begging him to give me more, and he did. He bit my nipple with a mix of pleasure and pain then sucked my breast deep within his mouth. I threw my head back with a groan as my body reveled in the ecstasy his body was giving mine.

I rolled onto my back, and Edward moved on top of me. His mouth moved down my chest, across my stomach to my pelvic bone. He slowly peeled my underwear and garter belt down my legs, and his fingers began to explore my wet folds. His thumb firmly rubbed circles around my clit while he put two fingers inside of me, curving them upward to hit my g-spot then pulling them almost all the way out before returning to my g-spot. I moved my hips in time with his fingers as he pressed a third inside me.

The moment his thumb was replaced by his firm tongue I felt the spasms begin inside of me. My hips arched off the bed pushing his tongue more forcefully on my clit, and my walls clenched tightly against his fingers as they continued to move in me. 

Edward slowly removed his fingers, and brought them to his lips. He sucked them into his mouth. It was one of the hottest things I had ever seen. The look of sheer pleasure on his face as he cleaned my essence from his fingers was almost enough to make me cum again.

I reached down and pushed his underwear down his hips, and Edward pulled them the rest of the way off. I gripped his cock firmly in my palm and rubbed my thumb over the head. It was Edward’s turn to throw his head back and groan in pleasure as I began to stroke him leisurely.

After a few strokes he grasped my wrist and pulled my hand from him. “If you keep that up, I’m going to explode all over you. I want to cum in you, Bella.” 

I spread my legs wider allowing Edward’s hips to settle between mine with his hard cock now against my swollen core. I stroked Edward’s lips with my thumbs as my fingers lightly caressed his cheeks, then his forehead. We both smiled at each other as my hands moved from his scalp to the nape of his neck. He was undeniably the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

He kissed my forehead, and his hands pushed a strand of my sweat-dampened hair from my brow. We linked our hands together as we looked deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Forever,” I told Edward as he lined himself up, and I felt the head of his cock nudge my entrance.

“Forever,” Edward agreed as, inch by incredible inch, his cock entered me. Once he was completely inside of me, we both smiled and sighed contentedly. I was so glad we waited until now. I couldn’t imagine anything better than this very moment, finally being one with Edward.

He pulled almost all the way out then pushed back in with a circular motion to his hips. Out. In. Out. In. He set a languid, almost dream-like, pace that I easily followed. Each time his hips circled with his full penetration, he hit my g-spot with his cock. I could feel myself building up to another orgasm but it was just out of my reach.

I removed my hands from Edward’s and pulled him down for a searing kiss. The strokes of our tongues matched the rhythm of his thrusts.

We were covered with a light sheen of sweat, and the sounds of our bodies coming together filled the room. Flesh met flesh, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted him even deeper inside of me. I pulled my knees up to my neck and grabbed Edward’s ass tightly, my fingernails digging into his flesh. His hands grabbed my ass and pulled me closer to him.

I could feel his balls hitting me each time he thrust inside of me. I felt the very moment that Edward finally gave in and lost control. He began to pick up speed and his thrusts became faster, harder.

My stomach clenched, and my legs began to shake when he thrust even deeper than I thought possible. Suddenly, my orgasm slammed into me with my walls contracting tightly around his cock as Edward began to pour himself deep inside of me, filling me completely. I had never felt this much pleasure in my life. For the first time, I understood what it meant to truly give yourself to someone.

Finally spent, we embraced each other tightly with contented smiles on our faces. Edward kissed my forehead, each eyelid, my nose, each cheek, my chin and finally my lips. Then, he moved beside me pulling me tightly to his side, not breaking our embrace. With smiles on both of our faces, we fell into an exhausted slumber.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

The next three weeks were utter bliss. Edward and I just couldn’t get enough of each other. If we had an hour break between classes, we would meet at home for a quickie before going back to class with shit-eating grins on our faces.

Despite the fact that our condo had an extra large hot water tank, every time we took a shower it ended up as a cold one. We were utterly insatiable. But with the months of foreplay that we had given one another, it wasn’t particularly surprising.

We did find time to study between our wild bouts of near animalistic sex. We had found a very easy way to turn our study sessions into sexy times. Each time we got a question right, we took off an article of clothing. I didn’t think I would ever look at a set of study cards the same way again. Despite the fact that we spent as much time having sex as we did in our classes, we both completed our first semester at OU with a 4.0 GPA. 

Once Christmas break arrived, we packed our bags and headed back to Washington to spend the holidays with our family. The twins had just been released from the hospital and were in perfect health despite being born prematurely. We couldn’t wait to get our hands on them.

Edward and I decided that we would wait and purchase all of our Christmas gifts once we got to Washington. There was no way that we would have been able to fly out with all the goodies that we planned to buy our nephews. We only had a two-page list of clothes and toys we wanted to buy the boys.

The only person that I was trying to figure out a gift for was Edward. What could I get him that he didn’t already have? I had a few ideas. I just needed to figure out which one would be perfect since it was our first Christmas as a married couple. Christmas was two weeks away, so we were going to have tons of time to spend with the family.

We took the early bird flight the Sunday after we finished our finals. Despite my protests, Esme purchased first class tickets for us. I guess it was a good thing she did since I slept the entire trip. Edward even had a hard time waking me up once we landed. He was worried that I was getting sick. I assured him that we had been extremely busy lately with our classes and all of our extracurricular activities.

Instead of being having Esme or Alice pick us up at the airport, we rented a car. We wanted to be able to go shopping or run any other errands without being an inconvenience to anyone. 

Before heading to Esme’s, where we would stay during the holiday, we stopped by Emmett’s and Rose’s house to see Liam and Anthony. Emmett was waiting at the door as soon as we shut off the ignition. Edward almost ran up the steps to get to his namesakes.

“Hey, bro,” Emmett said as he hugged Edward.

“Hi, Emmett,” Edward said as he looked over Emmett’s shoulder expectantly.

“Go on in,” Emmett laughed. “The babies are waiting to be formally introduced to their Uncle Edward.” My husband didn’t have to be told twice.

“Hi, Emmett,” I said as I finally made it up the steps. I had no idea why I was so sluggish today. Maybe Edward and I had been working out too much lately.

“My sister!” Emmett bellowed as he picked me up, hugging me tightly while spinning me in a circle.

“Hi, Brother Bear,” I told him. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you, too,” Emmett told me as he ushered me in the house. Edward was already sitting on the couch with both babies cuddled in his arms. I pulled out my phone and started snapping pictures immediately. It was the cutest damn thing I had ever seen.

“They are absolutely exquisite,” I told Emmett. Emmett’s grin widened at the compliment.

“Of course they are,” he said smugly. “They’re my spawn.”

“Emmett, you are not the reason the boys are so handsome,” Rosalie said as she came from the kitchen with two bottles in her hands. She sat them on the table and came over to hug me. “Welcome to the family, Bella.”

“Thanks, Rose,” I said.

“So is being married to Edward as good as you thought it would be?” she asked me as I moved to sit next to Edward.

“No. It is so much more than I ever imagined. It’s amazing,” I admitted as I reached over to take one of the babies from Edward. He immediately pouted at the loss of one of his nephews. “Edward, you have to share with me.” As soon as I had the swaddled bundle settled in my arms Edward’s frown turned to a huge smile.

I bent down and kissed the baby’s forehead as I held his hand in mine. “He smells so good,” I whispered. Rose handed me the bottle and sat down across from me.

“I agree. Babies smell wonderful,” she told us.

“Which one do I have?” I asked.

“You’ve got Anthony, and Edward is holding Liam,” Emmett answered for her.

“How do you tell the difference?” Edward asked.

“Liam has a little birthmark under his left ear. Anthony doesn’t,” Rose said. “Otherwise, they are completely identical. Had we not found the birthmark, Emmett wanted them to be tattooed. I immediately nixed that plan.”

Edward and I fed and burped the babies. Well, I burped Anthony. Edward couldn’t get Liam to burp no matter what he tried.

“Emmett, Liam obviously has your stubbornness,” Edward grumbled.

“It just takes practice, honey,” I told him as I began to pat Liam’s back while Edward held him. Liam shocked Edward by suddenly burping up enough formula to cover Edward’s entire shoulder. Edward cringed and turned a little green. For a minute, I was worried he might throw up, too. Even when Rose, Emmett, and I burst into gales of laughter, Edward’s expression didn’t change.

Emmett picked up my cell from the table and snapped some pictures of Edward in his sodden state. Rosalie grabbed Liam and began to clean him up.

“That was classic,” Emmett chuckled as he sat the phone down. 

Rose put Liam in the bassinet in the corner and smacked Emmett in the head as she sat back down. “Don’t worry, Edward, the first time one of the twins spit up on him, he did puke.”

Emmett’s smile disappeared immediately. “You said you weren’t going to tell anyone, Rosie,” he hissed.

“Emmett, you should know by now that sometimes I tell you something to placate you. I’m not going to let Edward think he’s the only Cullen with a weak stomach.”

As much as I hated to do it, I got up and put sleeping Anthony in the bassinet next to his brother. They were like magnets and squirmed in their sleep until they were cuddled against one other.

“Oh my God, that is precious,” I said. “Do they sleep cuddled that close together all the time?”

“Yes, they do. We’ve taken so many pictures of them like that, we’ll be able to do one entire photo album of our cuddlers cuddling,” Rose giggled.

I didn’t want to move as I watched them sleeping together. Edward came up beside me wiping away the remnants of the baby’s spit-up from his shirt with a damp cloth. When he fingished, he wrapped his arm around my waist and looked at them.

“Wow, they are going to be as attached to each other as you and I were, Emmett,” Edward said.

“Yeah, Mom told me the same thing. It seems you and I always cuddled like we were each other’s missing half. We couldn’t even take a nap unless we were together,” Emmett said. “I have to admit, E, you and Bella looked mighty fine holding those babies. Any plans to have some twins of your own soon?”

Edward and I looked at each other with grins on our faces. We hadn’t discussed when we wanted to have children. We both just knew that we did want them.

“Whenever it happens, it happens,” Edward smiled as he looked down on the sleeping babies. “It would be amazing,” he added almost solemnly. I smiled when I saw the expression of awe on his face as he looked down on the twins. It would be amazing to have his child. I couldn’t imagine the joy I would feel being pregnant with his baby.

We had dinner with Rose and Emmett and decided to stay the night there and drive to Forks the next day. We just couldn’t get enough of the babies.

That night, after we made love, Edward wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands on my abdomen.

“You know I meant what I said earlier, right?” Edward whispered.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Babies,” he answered. “I would be ready to be a dad tomorrow, if it was possible. Just the thought of your stomach swollen with our child makes me happy.” He nipped at my ear playfully.

“And obviously hard,” I laughed quietly as my hand reached behind me to stroke his growing erection. Edward moaned then threw me on my back and entered me quickly. Now it was my turn to moan.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” I told him as he began to move inside of me. It was hard being quiet, but the last thing we wanted was for Emmett to advertise our sexual exploits to the whole family. We knew he would get a kick out of that.

“Who knows? We’ve been going at it like rabbits, so maybe I’m already pregnant.” I said with a yawn after we finished our second round of love-making.

As I drifted off to sleep, I thought I heard Edward say that he hoped I was right. That night I dreamed again of a beautiful green-eyed baby boy with his daddy’s crazy bronze locks.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

The next week passed by quickly. We went shopping in Seattle to buy Christmas gifts for everyone. It was a good thing that Edward and I went alone, because the presents for the twins filled up the trunk and most of the back seat of the car. 

As soon as we got home from shopping, I went upstairs to take a nap. I was beginning to think I had picked up a bug because I just couldn’t shake the fatigue that was plaguing me.

Esme and I planned the menu for Christmas dinner. We had gotten Jake and Billy to agree to spend the day with us. Christmas was going to be absolutely perfect since my entire family was going to be there. 

I still hadn’t found Edward his “big” present yet. I framed a picture of him holding the twins and got him a Christmas ornament that said “Our First Christmas.” We’d already put it on the tree at Esme’s so we could enjoy it.

I woke up one morning with Edward gone with only a note on his pillow. He had gone shopping to buy my Christmas present and was with Emmett. I definitely wasn’t going to be seeing him for a while. I got dressed and went downstairs to fix a cup of coffee and hopefully eat a pecan roll for breakfast, assuming Emmett hadn’t eaten them all before he left with Edward.

Rose was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee when I entered the kitchen.

“Morning, Rose,” I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Morning, Bella,” she said. “Alice and Esme took the twins to see Santa yet again. I think the three times I’ve already seen them with Santa was enough for me.” Rose chuckled. “I decided to stay here and finish wrapping gifts while everyone was out. I was able to save you a pecan roll for breakfast.” Rose said as she placed a plate in the spot next to her.

I joined her at the table and took a drink of coffee. I immediately spit the coffee back into the cup. “This tastes awful,” I told her. 

“Really?” Rose asked as she took another drink of coffee. “Mine tastes perfectly fine, and it’s from the same pot.”

I sniffed at the coffee in the mug and my stomach turned. I put the mug on the table and covered my mouth as I made a mad dash to the nearest bathroom.

“Bella, are you okay?” Rose asked at the bathroom door. I had just rinsed my mouth out and was still feeling a little nauseous.

“I must have some kind of bug. I’ve been really tired lately and now I’m puking. Happy holidays to me,” I groaned at another wave of nausea hit me. I barely made it to the toilet in time.

When I got back to the kitchen, Rose was dumping my coffee in the sink. She went to the fridge and poured me a glass of Sprite.

“Try this,” she suggested. “I have a feeling that it just might help settle your stomach.”

I took a small sip, and it didn’t seem to taste horrible like the coffee had. “You’re right. This doesn’t taste too badly. I just hate it that I’m getting sick right before Christmas.”

Rose was silent for a moment while she studied me carefully. “Bella, I don’t think you’re sick at all,” she announced. 

“You just saw me get sick,” I told her as I took another cautious drink of soda.

“How long have you been fatigued?” Rose asked.

“Well, I’ve been exhausted since we left Norman. Why?”

“Do you think your stomach is settled enough for a short ride in the car?” Rose asked.

“I think so. Where are we going?”

“To the drugstore to pick up a pregnancy test,” Rose said. I think I heard a thud as my chin hit the floor after hearing her words.

“What? There is absolutely no way that I’m...” I stopped back to think about when I last had my period. “What’s today’s date?”

“You know exactly what day it is. It’s December 23.”

I counted the days in my head again. I was definitely late. My hand drifted down to my stomach. I looked up, and Rose was smirking at me.

“Let’s go,” I told her.

We picked up three different tests. I didn’t want any doubt at all about the results. Time seemed to go at a snail’s pace as I nearly wore a hole in the carpet in the bedroom while I kept eyeing the ever-slowly ticking clock.

I looked at Rose sitting with a huge grin on her face. “What are you hoping they say?” Rose asked.

“If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have told you that I was praying that it was negative. But now, with Edward, I can picture him with our baby in his arms. I can even see him puking after he gets a surprise explosive diaper and smiling after he cleans the baby up. I am more than ready to be a mom. I know we’re both young and in school, but Edward and I have faced so many challenges in our lives. A baby with him, it would be the most incredible gift I could ever receive. Together, I know that Edward and I would be incredible parents.”

“When I watch you both with Liam and Anthony, I sometimes wonder if I turn my back, would you take off with them. You’re almost as in love with them as Emmett and I are, and they are my life,” Rose said. “Well, it seems I’ve distracted you long enough, Bella. It’s time.”

As I walked into the bathroom, I closed my eyes until I got to the counter. I took a deep breath and looked down at the results and smiled. I knew exactly what I was getting Edward for Christmas now.

Rose was sworn to secrecy, and the tests were hidden very well. I just had to make it to Christmas without anyone else figuring out what I was hiding.

Christmas dinner was incredible. Esme and I prepared a feast: glazed ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, salad, cornbread dressing, steamed vegetables and homemade bread.

I didn’t want to eat much because I wasn’t sure if there would be something like the coffee that would set my stomach off and send me sprinting to visit the porcelain God again. Instead, I nibbled a little on everything, making sure it wouldn’t upset my stomach and reveal my secret ahead of time.

After dinner, everyone gathered around the tree to exchange presents. Emmett had a blast opening all of the presents for the twins. He was, after all, Rosalie’s third child.

Edward and I gave Rose and Emmett a very practical gift. It was for a weekend away for just the two of them with Edward and me as their babysitters. Emmett was thrilled at the prospect of having his wife all to himself for a few days.

We gave Esme and Alice a mother/daughter spa day for them to get the full treatment. Jasper got a gift card for Amazon. It wasn’t us being lazy. The boy read more than any person we had ever met.

I gave Billy a framed picture of me and Jacob from the wedding and some new fishing gear. Jacob got an open-ended ticket to Oklahoma City. We knew that he had the money to come anytime he wanted, but we knew with the ticket that we could guarantee a visit sooner, rather than later.

Edward and I exchanged our small gifts first. We broke out in laughter as we looked in the boxes. 

“Great minds think alike, love,” he leaned in and kissed me. “I love it.”

“I love mine too.” We’d given each other pictures of us with Anthony and Liam.

Edward handed me my “big” gift, and I handed him his.

“Can I open mine first?” I asked. With shaky hands, I opened it to reveal the most beautiful charm bracelet I had ever seen. There was a heart with the date of our wedding engraved on it, an OU charm, an ice cream cone, a music note, Washington and Oklahoma, my birthstone and Edward’s birthstone. “This is incredible, baby. Thank you so much.” I put out my wrist and Edward put it on me.

“I made sure to leave room for us to add more charms to celebrate other milestones we’ll share down the road. My turn,” Edward said as he opened his box. Sitting on the tissue paper in the box was a ziplock bag with the pregnancy tests in it. “Bella,” he whispered, his hands shaking as he looked inside the clear bag.

With tears in his eyes, he sat the bag aside and carefully unfolded the tissue paper. The first tear slid down his cheek as he pulled his last present out of the box. It was a yellow onesie that simply said, “I love my daddy.”

Edward placed the garment back in the box and pulled me in his arms, kissing me hungrily. “God, Bella. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you,” he told me.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” I told him as I felt a tear slip down my cheek. His thumb wiped it away before he kissed me again.

“Merry Christmas, Mommy.” Mommy. I was going to be someone’s mommy. I rubbed my hand on my belly and smiled as Edward’s hand covered mine. Life most definitely could not get any better than this.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

EPOV

In March, I got a phone call from Mom. After being granted her divorce from Carlisle, the judge made sure that he left their marriage with what he came in with, nothing. Unfortunately, Carlisle continued to harass her to the point that she had to have a restraining order issued against him. She told me that she had had decided to put the house on the market and had been looking for a new home in Oklahoma. She quickly added that she wasn’t the only one who was looking at places not far from Bella and me. Emmett, Rose and my amazing nephews were also going to be moving here, too.

Alice and Jasper got a lot of mock verbal attacks from Bella and me when we heard they would be attending Oklahoma State University in the fall, which happened to be the University of Oklahoma’s biggest rival. There’s nothing like a good dose of family rivalry over college sporting events during future holiday celebrations to keep things lively. Other than Alice’s and Jasper’s choice in schools, Bella and I were ecstatic when we heard the news. Our entire family was going to be near us when our baby was born.

Bella’s pregnancy was smooth, for her at least. I was the one who suffered morning sickness for the first three months of her pregnancy. I even cried with her the first time we heard the heartbeat, the first time we saw our miracle on the ultrasound, when we found out the baby’s sex. Despite Mom’s and Alice’s best efforts we kept mum on whether or not we were having a boy or a girl.

We did cave and let Mom and Alice decorate the baby’s room. It was done in beige tones. Bella and I ordered the accent pieces in the color that would work for our baby. We kept everything that would give away the baby’s gender in a temperature controlled storage locker not far from our condo. As soon as the baby was born, I would hand over the keys and let Mom and Alice finish the nursery so it would be ready for our bundle of joy when it got home.

When Bella’s cravings kicked in and she wanted her double chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream smothered in her favorite French salad dressing from Mazzio’s, I joined in having the cravings with her. Braum’s special ordered extra half gallons of the ice cream for us because no other flavor would do. The manager at Mazzio’s had a container of the dressing ready for us to take home every time we finished eating the lunch buffet, which was at least once a week.

The first time Emmett saw us eating our French dressing chocolate cookie dough sundaes, he took off running to the bathroom. We couldn’t help but laugh that we had finally found something related to food that disgusted Emmett. No one had ever thought that would happen.

One Saturday afternoon at the beginning of August, the family had gotten together at Mom’s new home to celebrate the fact that we were all together again. Emmett and I were grilling steaks, hot dogs and hamburgers, while Bella, Rose, Mom and the twins were relaxing in the air conditioned house.

When I heard Bella’s scream, I dropped the platter of hot dogs on the patio and dashed into the house. My fear disappeared immediately when I saw the reason for her excitement: Jacob.

“Bella, love, that scream of excitement that I’m assuming was from seeing this guy here,” I nudged Jake with my fist, “shaved at least ten years off my life.” I kissed her on the lips and stood in one of my favorite places in the world, behind her with my hands propped up on her very pregnant belly. Baby Cullen quickly acknowledged me with swift kick to my hands.

“Hi, baby,” I told it as I rubbed soothing circles on Bella’s belly. “Hey, Jake. It’s great to see you.”

“Good to see you, too, Edward. Pregnancy definitely becomes you,” Jacob said to Bella with a big grin.

“Thanks, Jake. I’ve missed you so much,” Bella said. “I’m so glad you’re here. How long are you staying?”

“Well, Bella, I’m moving back to Oklahoma. I guess I should also add that Dad is moving back here, too.”

“Really?” Bella asked excitedly. “Oh, Jacob! This is perfect!” Bella shouted as she moved out of my embrace to hug Jake. “Now absolutely everybody I love is here.” Bella’s smile filled her entire face.

“That is definitely great news,” I added. “Now we have one more person who can babysit for us if we need it,” I joked.

A little later we all sat down to enjoy our dinner. I was a little worried about Bella because she wasn’t eating much of anything.

“You okay?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” she answered. “It’s just this heat, even with the air conditioning it’s stifling, and there really isn’t much more room inside me for even a little bit a food.” She rubbed both hands lovingly over her belly. “The baby has been really active today,” she smiled.

“Must be because Uncle Jake is here,” Jacob smirked.

“Sure, that’s it,” I said sarcastically which got a laugh from everyone.

“I think it’s because the baby is trying to find a comfortable spot inside of me. I know that I’d love to be comfortable,” Bella said as she stretched and yawned. 

“It’s that time isn’t it,” I kissed the top of her head as I carried our plates to the kitchen.

“Yep, it’s time for my first nap of the day. Everyone, it has been great, and I hate to not eat much and run, but the only place I can sleep comfortably is at home,” she told everyone as Jacob helped her out of her chair.

Mom got up and hugged her tightly and patted her stomach. “I don’t think it will be much longer, Bella. I’ll be holding my third grandchild in my arms in less than a week.”

“It won’t be that soon,” Emmett said. “That baby has Edward for a father. I bet Bella will go past her due date.” That comment earned him a smack upside the head from Rose.

“Don’t you ever wish that on someone, Emmett! You’ll be finding your happy place closed indefinitely if you ever think about saying something like that again. It’s hard being pregnant.”

“Amen,” Bella yawned.

“Time for me to get my loves home,” I told them. I thought I heard them betting on something as Bella and I walked out the door.

Our condo was literally freezing. Bella sighed in relief as soon as the hot summer day was closed out behind us.

“Let’s go,” Bella said as she grabbed my hand and led me to our bedroom. Bella had found that not only could she only nap in our bed, but that I had to be with her. She just couldn’t get comfortable otherwise.

I kicked off my shoes and helped her get comfortable in the bed. She curled up into my side and was instantly asleep. I held my loves close to me, and soon after Bella I fell asleep.

Bella usually woke up from her afternoon naps before I did, but today something woke me up first instead. At first I wasn’t sure what had roused me from my sleep then I felt the wetness by my hips. 

“Oh, fuck,” I whispered. “Either one of us pissed our pants or her water broke,” I said to myself. I looked over at Bella, and she was still sleeping peacefully. I wasn’t going to wake her up because I knew that she needed as much rest as she could get. We were going to have a very big day ahead of us.

The entire pregnancy I had kept my fears in check. I knew most of them were irrational, but my family had had more than its share of near-death experiences in the recent past. If anything happened to Bella or our baby, I just didn’t know how I could survive it. They were my life.

I maneuvered out of bed, quickly changed my clothes and got a fresh set of clothes ready for Bella. I opened the closet door and got out the bag we had packed so it would be ready for this day. I felt tears prick my eyes. This was it. I was about to become a father.

I had just sent a text to Mom to tell her what was going on when I saw Bella begin to stir.

“Hey,” she whispered groggily. She moved her hands down to help her sit up in the bed. The realization hit her the same time as a contraction, her face contorting in pain. “Oh! I guess it’s time to meet you,” Bella told her stomach as I went to help her out of bed and get dressed.

It wasn’t a surprise to find our entire family had beaten us to the hospital. Jacob was pacing the floor like he was the expectant father.

“I guess you were right, Esme,” Bella said as I wheeled her by my mother.

“No, Alice was right,” Emmett grumbled. “I can’t believe you’ve won the bet.”

“Never underestimate me, Brother Bear. I told you she would go into labor today,” Alice laughed.

“You bet on when I was going to give birth?” Bella asked through gritted teeth as she felt another contraction.

“Yep, it was his idea,” Jake answered as he pointed at Emmett. “All of us got in on it, too. No one was even near Alice’s guess though,” he laughed.

All I could do was shake my head. “Really, Emmett? Just for that, Alice gets to hold the baby before you do,” I smirked. I heard him griping about life not being fair as Bella and I entered her room.

Labor went by more quickly than the doctor anticipated. I don’t remember what happened after I saw the anesthesiologist pull out the needle to help relieve Bella’s pain. I woke up to my mother and Bella talking. I was sprawled out on the couch next to the bed.

“He lives,” Bella giggled. “How’s your head, Edward?” she asked.

I gently probed the back of my head and felt an egg-sized lump. “I fainted,” I stated. I felt like an absolute moron. Here my wife, my life, was in pain, preparing to deliver our baby, and I fainted when I saw a damn needle.

“It’s okay, Son,” Mom told me as she patted me on the back. “This isn’t the first time a husband has passed out when his wife has been in labor, and it won’t be the last.”

“Bella, love, I am so sorry,” I kissed her on the cheek. “How are you doing?”

“It won’t be long now,” she smiled into my lips as she turned my face so our lips would meet.

Bella was right. The nurse came in to check on her and told us that it was time. I should have been embarrassed when the nurse said that she brought some smelling salt just in case I passed out again. There was no way that I was going to miss any second of my child’s birth.

Mom said she was honored when we asked her to stay in the room with us while the doctor delivered the baby. Mom wasn’t just my mom anymore. She was Bella’s, too. Bella and I felt that it was only right that she be here to meet the baby before the rest of our family.

“One more push, Bella,” the doctor told her. I was holding her up on her right side and Mom on her left. She grunted and bore down a final time, her eyes squeezed tightly against the pain.

A cry filled the room, and I felt tears prick my eyes. “It’s a girl,” the doctor told us. “Would you like to cut the cord, Dad?” he asked me. I knew that I couldn’t find my voice so I simply nodded.

After I cut the cord, the nurse took the baby and a few moments later handed me my daughter swaddled in a pink blanket. There was no stopping the tears when I saw her face for the first time. “You are the most beautiful baby in the world. I love you,” I whispered as I kissed her forehead.

I looked at my incredible wife who had a brilliant smile on her face and tears streaming down her cheeks. I placed the baby in her arms, and Bella cuddled her close to her chest.

She kissed her cheek and reached down to hold our daughter’s hand. “Your daddy is right. You are magnificent. I love you so much, baby girl.”

I kissed Bella and our daughter. “Mom, we would love to introduce you to your first granddaughter, Emily Elizabeth Cullen.”

“Emily Elizabeth. Elizabeth. You named her after my mother,” Mom said quietly as she moved closer to see Emily.

“Would you like to hold her?” Bella asked. Mom nodded, and the moment she held Emily, I knew my mother was just as smitten as Bella and I were.

“Thank you, Bella,” I said as I kissed her gently. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” she smiled.

I looked over at Mom again, and I saw Granny Platt looking down at her namesake with a smirk on her face. She looked at me, smiled and said, “You did well, Edward. You did very, very well.”

Not everyone gets a second chance at life. If Granny Platt hadn’t opened my eyes to all the pain that I had caused everyone, I wouldn’t be here today. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we expect it will. Mine turned out better than I had ever hoped or dreamed it would. I looked at the bundle in my mother’s arms then at Bella. Getting here was a long road filled with more twists, turns and pain than should be allowed, but it brought me to this one perfect moment in time. It brought me to my family. Granny Platt was right. I had done well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it. Bella and Edward got their promised Happily Ever After. The epilogue will have a little bit of a time jump and you will hear about Jacob’s HEA. This story has been a blast and it is hard for us to believe in a few weeks we will finally hit the complete button to our first story. Thanks so much for reading.
> 
> If you are waiting on an update for New York Minute, it isn’t written yet. My aunt died unexpectedly last week so I’ve not had any time to write. Hopefully it will be out next week. Sorry for the delay.
> 
> If the story goes missing you can find it on Archive of Our Own under our same pen name. Links to our stories are also on the front page of our blog twidictedbyrd . blogspot . com
> 
> Follow us on twitter at twidictedbyrd  
> R/R/R
> 
>  
> 
> We also have a O/S The Right Wrong Number. We are still trying to decide if we will extend it into a full fic or not.


	38. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue
> 
> Disclaimer: We still own nothing but a reformed Doucheward who is most definitely a major Swoonward.
> 
> A special thanks to our pre-readers Jasper’s Woman, L, Jiff Simpson, Luee Fishes.
> 
> Chapter Songs:  
> “Sweet Life” Paul Davis  
> “Only You” Yaz  
> “Feels Like Home” Chantal Kreviazuk  
> “Flightless, American Bird” Iron & Wine  
> “A Thousand Years” Christina Perri
> 
> This takes place 5 years after Chapter 35... Enjoy...Thanks so much for reading.

BPOV

Fighting back tears, I clasped tightly onto Emily’s hand as I walked her into her school. My little girl was all grown up and starting kindergarten today. It seemed like yesterday that I held my perfect, beautiful bundle of joy in my arms for the first time. 

As we arrived outside of her classroom, Emily let go of my hand and looked at me with her crooked little smile filling her face that mirrored my own, with the exception of her exquisite jade green eyes.

“Bye, Mommy. I love you. I’ll see you later,” Emily told me with a wave as she entered her room with such energy that her crooked, bronze, double ponytails bounced around her head. Since Edward wasn’t able to come with us to drop Emily off for her first day of school, she had insisted that her daddy fix her hair for the day. Of course Edward didn’t tell her no, despite the fact that he has a lot to learn about fixing her hair. None of us can tell Emily no to anything. She has her entire family wrapped around her precious little fingers.

“Bye, Em,” I said and quickly turned away to lean on the wall beside her classroom. I couldn’t fight the tears anymore and rushed to wipe them from my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Emily’s teacher looking at me with a sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay to cry,” she assured me. “You’re not the first mother to cry after dropping her child off, and you won’t be the last.”

“I can’t seem to stop crying at all,” I told her with a laugh as the tears kept rolling down my face. “It seems like the slightest thing sets me off lately.”

“It’s understandable,” her teacher said as she looked at my swollen stomach. “When are you due?”

I rubbed my protruding belly with both hands and grinned. “Halloween of all days,” I laughed. “My husband is afraid that the doctor will show up dressed as some horrible monster, and that the kids will be scarred for life.”

“How does Emily feel about the new additions that are on their way?” Her teacher asked.

“She’s thrilled, especially about her sister since she spends so much of her time with her two male cousins. She said she guessed her baby brother would be all right since he and her sister are a packaged deal.” We both laughed, and another parent showed up with their child. 

As Emily’s teacher began to help them, I peeked in the room quickly before I left. Emily was talking animatedly to some of her classmates. She still had a huge smile on her face, and I decided it was now or never for me to head home to begin working for the day.

Two years ago, Edward and I sold the condo when a house across the street from Esme went on the market. It had two living areas, four bedrooms, 3 baths and a two-car garage. It had a beautiful wooden swing set with a fort too. At first, Edward and I thought the house was too big, but Esme told us that it was better for it to be too big instead of too small. I rubbed my stomach at that thought. Thankfully all three of our children would have their own rooms.

I sat down and turned on the computer in my office at the back of the house. After graduation, I began to do freelance graphic design. With the help of my professors and other contacts in the industry, I was able to make a very nice living from the comfort of my own home. Not only could I work at my own pace, but Emily was able to stay at home with me two days a week. I wanted her with me all the time, but my mom, Esme, helped me understand that socialization was very important at a young age. Three days during the week Emily went to daycare, and two days a week she stayed with me. It was absolutely perfect.

The University of Oklahoma hired Edward as a physical therapist for the National Championship Sooners football team. When my schedule allowed, Emily and I would travel to the away games with Edward. It was a way for Emily to see the country, and for our family to just be together.

I felt a kick in my stomach and looked at the ultrasound picture of the twins on my desk. One image was labeled boy and the other girl. We decided this time around not to keep secrets about the sex of the babies. When we announced their names, Emmett Jacob Cullen and Rosalynn Allison Esme Cullen, at the last family dinner, Emmett and Jacob yelled and high-fived, while Esme, Rose and Alice all broke down in tears.

It took a while, but Alice and I finally repaired our friendship. We weren’t as close as we used to be, but we were different people now. Rose and I became incredibly close over the years, almost inseparable. Emmett and Edward said that we had to be twins that were separated at birth.

Rosalie and Emmett were going to China in a few months. They were in the process of finalizing their adoption of twin girls. Rosalie quit her nursing job and began to get their home ready for their new arrivals. The twins were almost a year old. They had decided on the names Marie and Ally. We were all more than ready to meet the newest additions to our growing family.

I glanced at my brother’s wedding picture, not Emmett’s and Rose’s, but Jacob’s. Yes, Jacob was my brother; well, technically step-brother-in-law. I remembered vividly the moment we found out that Esme and Billy had been keeping us in the dark about the nature of their relationship. We hadn’t been living in our house long, and Emily was crying for her favorite doll that she had left at Nana Esme’s house.

Edward, Emily and I walked to her house and opened the door. What we saw stopped us in our tracks. Esme was sitting on Billy’s lap in his wheelchair, and they were kissing passionately. None of us had any idea that Esme and Billy were romantically involved. Before we knew it, they announced that they were getting married. Esme was happier than I’d ever seen her. She was so much better without Carlisle in her life.

Carlisle. It was a name that wasn’t spoken much at all. He had gotten fired from the hospital and later lost his license after repeatedly sexually harassing patients and nurses. His self-destructive behavior continued, and he became an alcoholic. He died three years ago in a drunk-driving accident.

Alice and Jasper only got married a year ago. Jasper worked at OU in the history department. Alice changed her major after her dad died. She began studying to be a counselor for people who suffered from chemical dependency. We were very proud of her for choosing a career that would help so many people in their darkest hours of need.

Three years ago, Renée also got the shock of her life when Phil left her for another, much younger woman. He didn’t just leave either. Phil took every cent that my mother had won in the lottery. She went back to Washington state with her tail between her legs and begged Charlie for a place to stay. Surprisingly enough, they got back together.

After Carlisle died, Edward and I thought it was important for us to try to salvage some sort of relationship with my parents. We took Emily to see them once. To say that the atmosphere was tense would have been the understatement of the century. We have awkward weekly phone calls. I send Christmas and birthday cards to them with pictures of Emily, Edward and I. They send Emily birthday and Christmas gifts. That was the extent of our relationship. Edward and I both considered Esme and Billy to be our mom and dad and Emily’s grandparents. Charlie and Renée were more like acquaintances than anything else.

When Jacob began job-hunting, we never imagined that he would find a job in Oklahoma. Luckily, an opening came up for the morning show at the ABC affiliate in Oklahoma City. One morning he was the only person on the show, because the anchor was out with the flu. He sat down to conduct an interview with Oklahoma’s newest celebrity, Stephanie Rodriguez. Her first book, Separated by Fools, had been on the New York Times best-seller list for six straight months. Their attraction was immediate. I could remember watching the TV as he interviewed her. The sparks were flying at such a high rate of speed that I was sure the set would catch fire any moment.

Three months later, Stephanie was back on the show for what she thought was just an interview about her book being made into a movie. I cried like a baby as I watched Jacob kneel down in front of her in front of a live audience to ask her to marry him. His proposal even made the national news. They were married a week ago in Esme and Billy’s backyard and were currently honeymooning in Tahiti.

The twins kicked me again as I looked at a picture of Edward and I in Paris. We had never had a chance for a honeymoon. We went from being newlyweds to parents within a year. We had put off our honeymoon to raise Emily and finish school. It seemed like only days ago but was more than a few months ago that Esme and Billy surprised Edward and I with a trip to Paris. Edward and I had discussed adding to our brood, and we decided for me to leave the birth control at home. A month after we got back, I couldn’t stand the taste of coffee again, and I knew the cause immediately.

When we went to the doctor to hear the heartbeat for the first time, Edward and I were shocked, yet thrilled, when the doctor told us that there were two heartbeats, not one.

Emily. E.J. Rosalynn. Our three babies. The five of us were destined to be a family. All of us belonged together. We completely belonged to each other, as it was meant to be.

I just sat back to begin work on my next project when I heard the front door open. I looked at the clock. It was already lunch-time. My pregnancy brain was rambling and stealing my time away from me.

Everyday, Edward and I would meet for lunch. Sometimes we would eat out. Other days he would bring lunch home. We could never get enough of each other. 

“Hey, babe,” I said to Edward as he walked into my office.

“Hi, love,” he told me as he bent down to kiss my lips. “You ready for lunch?” He reached down and helped me out of my chair. I had barely made it to my feet when my stomach growled. “Sounds like you’re very hungry.”

“Your spawn want some nourishment,” I said with a quick kiss to his cheek. He reached down to pat my belly.

“Daddy loves you, E.J. and Rosalynn. I brought you and your mommy your favorite,” he told them.

On the table was a large pineapple pizza from Mazzio’s. My tummy rumbled again as I noticed what sat beside it. There was a container of French dressing and my double chocolate cookie dough ice cream.

“Edward, that looks absolutely incredible,” I told him as I quickly shoved a piece of pizza in my mouth. 

“Well, we haven’t had it for a few days, so I figured the three of you were due for your fix,” he smiled that beautiful lop-sided grin that he’d given to Emily. I loved him more each and every day. That smile of his would always make my heart race. I reached out and touched his hand. “I love you,” I told him.

“As I love you, Bella,” Edward said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it. We have hit the complete button. Everyone got their HEA, even Esme and Billy.
> 
> We’ve been asked if we were going to do a sequel. At this time, we do not have a sequel planned. Keep us on author alerts, because you never know what we will do lol.
> 
> It’s been one hell of a ride. Thanks for taking it with us!
> 
> Are you ready for Madame President Cougarella? Visit fandom4suicideawareness . blogspot . com to donate to read the first chapter in Twidictedbyrd’s new story Power Play: Bella has every detail of her life planned out. Edward Cullen is not in those plans. Edward just got his dream job. Now he has plans to land something a little more difficult, his much older boss, President of the United States Bella Swan-Newton. White House Intern Edward will show her that age is only just a number.


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